“Did she tell you she attacked me?”
“Astrid, she hardly attacked you. And you were the one that had two boys in your bedroom. One in your bed none the less. I know I gave you some leeway this last month or so, but this is pushing it too far.”
“You can’t pretend to be a father now. And nothing happened. They stayed over so I didn’t have to be by myself. But I don’t feel safe there anymore.” I could only imagine the expression crossing his face right then. He would probably perceive me as a typical melodramatic teenager, making a mountain out of nothing.
“That’s ridiculous. Your mother would never hurt you. She’s a little forceful, but she’s always been so easily worked up.” He scoffed.
“No, I don’t think you understand.” My fingers turned white from the intense grip on my phone. If he down-played what happened this morning, there would be no chance of ever having any kind of meaningful relationship with this man. And he would be responsible for that. Not me. “She pinned me down, shoved her hand down my shorts and did her best to shove her fingers into my vagina. I’m assuming she was checking for virginity, which I assure you is very much still there.” Beck smirked and heat filled my cheeks. For a split second I’d forgotten they were all staring at me. “Does that sound safe to you? I won’t mention about all the other times she either verbally or physically abused me. So, no. I don’t feel safe there. Over the last few months she’s gotten more and more violent, and I can’t help but think it has something to do with your affair. And now that she knows, I’m not sure home is the best place for me anymore.”
He was silent. Dead silent. I had no idea what he could possibly be thinking, especially since this was the first time I had ever acknowledged how Mother Dearest showed her love. But it felt good. It felt right to tell him. I had no doubt he didn’t know on some level what happened because he was there during some of her episodes. Now though, he had no excuse to hide behind rose-colored glasses that not only colored the world the way he wanted to see it but also his motives.
“I…I didn’t know that.”
Fuck. He actually sounded upset.
I remained quiet, not sure how to respond.
“She really did that this morning?” His voice broke and a small part of me actually believed he was just as disgusted by it as I was.
“She did. Rhys ran in and got her away from me. You can ask him for his side of the story if you want, to verify mine. He threatened her with his attorneys and with the police.”
“That explains why she’s been watching the windows all day.” He murmured as if to himself.
“Why did you think I asked you to keep her away from me? It wasn’t because she’s strict. She’s mean, and violent. I—” I choked on the word. “I can’t take it there anymore, Dad. I really can’t. I need a few days at least away from her. And honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever feel like I can come back.”
“And where will you stay Astrid? What will everyone say if you shack up with Rhys or the other boy that was in your room?” My heart skipped a beat. He was bending, but he wasn’t happy with the options. If we were close to Stace, I bet this would have already been settled.
“I have a few friends I could stay with and they wouldn’t mind.” Keep it vague, Astrid. I needed to give him as few reasons as possible to argue for me to go home. Could I not go home? I was eighteen. But I was still in school. When did legal adulthood actually begin?
“Are all of these friends males?” He asked as if he already knew the answer to that question.
“Yes, Dad. I have five friends here and all of them are boys. Would you rather I go to the shelter for abused women and children in Denver?” No way would he be okay with that. To have a child of his take refuge in a shelter went against everything that he stood for. Not that he was against it, only that he felt he took such good care of family it wasn’t needed.
“Absolutely not. Listen, Astrid. I’m not dumb. You’re eighteen and you’re going to do what you want whether I like it or not. But I’d like you to stay where I have faith you’ll be safe. Can you stay with Rhys?”
I glanced up and Rhys nodded. I had no idea if Dad knew he essentially had his own place since he lived in the cottage. Thatcher and Beck both looked a little unhappy with the turn in conversation, but they didn’t protest.
“Yes. Rhys said that’s fine.”
“Okay…”
This was such an uncomfortable conversation. In some ways it gave a little faith that even though Dad wasn’t a great husband, but maybe, eventually, he could be a father. Hell, maybe now I was talking out of my ass and it was wishful thinking.
“I’ll let you know if I need anything. I’ll come by later after you all are in bed and grab some clothes. Bye, Dad.”
“Bye, Astrid. I’ll call you tomorrow.”
I dropped the phone in my lap, and waited for the guys to put their opinion in.
“Well, that wasn’t what I expected from your dad.” Thatcher raised both his eyebrows.
“Yeah, he sounded like a real dick. I’m surprised he seemed like he actually cared for about half a second. You think he gave in because he did actually care, or because he was afraid what his precious congregation in the Silver Ranch Community would think?” Beck wrapped a warm, calloused hand around my ankle, brushing soothing circles over my exposed skin.
“I’d like to say he actually cared. But at the end of the day, his career and way of life depends on what the community believes, so I’m sure that had a lot to do with it.” Why did I sound so utterly dejected?
“That doesn’t matter. You can stay with me.” Rhys said as if it was already decided.
Thatcher held up a hand. “What about Trey?”
“Fuck. You’re right.” Rhys rubbed the frown line in his forehead. “Trey could be an issue. He’s been suspiciously quiet, but he’s unpredictable. If we’re careful when you come and go, we might be able to hide that you’re staying. If you’re going to be there, I’ll be there. Otherwise, you can hang out with Beck or Thatcher.”
Beck twisted his lips to the side and nodded. “That might work. Between our schedules we can make sure Astrid isn’t there when you can’t be.”
Thatcher gave one solid dip of his head as his agreement.
Great. Now I was back to having a hot man shadow. Most people would love to have a rotation of good-looking guys follow them around, and I did. But it still chaffed, like they were looking at me as that annoying little sister they had to watch out for. I had hoped we were getting past this.
“Good. Then we have a plan.” Rhys stood up and stretched, a tan strip of stomach flashed me for the briefest moment. “I have some stuff I need to get done today. You ready, Astrid? You can hang out and do homework. Or whatever. You guys want to come back to my cottage?”
“I really need to get into work. I told them I’d come in if I could and I need the hours.” He squeezed my ankle and I glanced down. “I’ll call you later, okay?” He kept his words low, a bit of an olive branch in his request.
“I’d love that.” I matched his voice. Beck was a fun, and caring spirit. He’d acted like an ass over the last day, but he was still a good guy. I might be able to find out why if it were just us.
“Trinity might come over or I would.”
“Oh! I wanted to meet Trinity.” Every time we’d try to set something up, we had to cancel last minute. That was a bummer.
“There’ll be other times. Don’t worry about it.” Thatcher pushed the hair over my shoulder in an intimate sort of gesture. Like he had the right to do so. I didn’t stop him, and I didn’t look at any of the guys. Because I had my head in the sand.
“I’m going to grab my stuff from the bathroom. I’ll be ready in just a few.” I directed to Rhys and then left the boys on their own for a few minutes. Maybe without me, they’d come up with a better way to get Jonah away from the motorcycle gang.
As soon as Astrid disappeared in the bathroom, Beck stepped up to me and angled himself so Rhys was
included in our huddle.
“Do I need to remind you both that you said you had no intentions of pursuing Astrid?” His words were mild, contrasting with the flinty coldness of his eyes. This foreign side was completely different than his normal, easy going personality.
I tensed at the obvious challenge. “Who said I was pursuing Astrid?” Outside of seeing us at the concert last night, he wouldn’t have any way to know I’d changed my mind. All we did last night was sit together. If Beck wasn’t on the money, I’d say he was a bit paranoid.
“I saw the way you were both crowding her. Touching her. I asked point blank if any of you fuckers planned on going after her. Everyone said no. I said I wanted to. I’m going after her. What the hell kind of friends would do that after that conversation?” His nostrils flared.
Rhys shrugged as his gaze roved over Beck’s features. “I had no plans of going after her. There’s a lot going on that I need to focus on. But Astrid’s different. There’s a connection there I’m not willing to ignore.” His steady expression and calm words rang with conviction.
That wasn’t good. I could compete against Beck. But Rhys too? How were Beck and I supposed to go up against Ragnar, as Astrid so kindly calls him. He was like a walking, talking, demigod out to take over the world through his hockey achievements.
“Wait. You too?” I blurted and he gave one solid nod of the head. “Astrid and I have been circling around each other for weeks. We almost kissed last night and that would have been her first real kiss.” If she was serious about these guys wouldn’t she have let them get father than a few intimate touches here and there? Wouldn’t they have pushed her harder? “We wouldn’t have had that moment if she was serious about any of you.”
The hard glint in Beck’s eyes disappeared as his face lost all color. “First real kiss?”
He looked like he’d seen a ghost. Or like he was about to throw up.
Narrowing my eyes at him, a thought formulated. “She said her first kiss was a joke. You know anything about that Beck?”
“What the hell?” Rhys rumbled as he whipped his head around to glare at Beck.
Beck pressed on his stomach, probably willing his lunch to stay down if he was the reason for the fake kiss. “I didn’t know. I…I thought it was—”
He didn’t finish the sentence before Rhys plowed a heavy fist in the side of his face. “You gave her, her first kiss and you didn’t even mean it?” Rhys barked at Beck. I slid in between them, but Rhys didn’t make any move to get around me. “I’m not going to touch him again. It isn’t worth it.” He shook out his hand.
“What’s wrong?” Astrid burst in the room, clutching her clothes to her chest. Everything hit the floor as she rushed Beck. “Oh God, Beck. What happened?”
He batted her away as he held his face in his other palm.
I lifted her to her feet and set her away from dickface. “Astrid. Why didn’t you tell me your first kiss was Beck?” No matter how hard I tried, my censure still bled through.
“What?” She backed up and right before my eyes, a pink flush started at her neck and stretched up the sides of her face. Her gaze locked on Beck, who looked up at the same time. I couldn’t decide if it was embarrassment or betrayal that clouded her eyes.
What the fuck did he have to feel betrayed for?
“When did this douche kiss you?” Rhys demanded, pointing at Beck.
Astrid was speechless. Her mouth flopped open like the poor fish that died in the school halls not that long ago. Beck took pity on her and stood up. He moved his jaw back and forth before drawing Astrid into him by her arms. With a half step, he twisted her around so his back was to us.
“That kiss before the concert, that was your first kiss?” Beck tried to make their conversation private, but there was no chance of that with Rhys and I both edging in. If Astrid didn’t take his ass to task, then we would.
She sighed. “Yes. I knew it was a joke to you, so I didn’t count it. We weren’t dating or anything like that.” She surprisingly held his stare, even though she was beet red. I couldn’t suppress my pride. If nothing else, Astrid had courage.
“It wasn’t a joke. I liked you. I do like you. That was my dumb ass being a little shit apparently, but it was meant to be flirty and fun.” His voice dipped lower. “I never would have done that if I’d known it was your first kiss.” He brushed her cheek with a thumb.
The whole thing was a little too cozy for my liking. I stepped up, forcing them apart with my body and Beck once again scowled at me. But this time, with the dark tint to his jaw, there was a perverse pleasure in coming between them.
Shit, now that I separated them, I had nothing to say. Should we all throw down the gauntlet here and let her decide? If we did, I doubted she’d actually choose. If anything, she’d distance herself from all of us.
“I hate to break this up, but I really do need to get back home. Astrid?” Rhys extended a hand and Astrid nodded. With a last look at our sorry asses, she gathered her things from the floor with Rhys’ help. He took everything she had, and I swear, it fit in one hand. Then they were gone. Just like that.
“That went swimmingly.” I sneered at Beck without any actual heat behind it. Now that the shock had worn off, I was more miffed than angry.
“Yeah, well, it went about how the rest of my life has gone. To shit. Now I don’t know if I have a chance at all with her.” He ran a hand over his short blond hair.
Did he not see what I saw? “Are you kidding? That whole murmured apology went a long way to melt her heart. I don’t know how you manage to have such strong game. I really don’t.” And why was I trying to encourage him when we both want the same thing?
Because we were friends. And if anyone deserved happiness, it was Beck. Only, if it came to us each finding our happiness with the same person, I wasn’t the selfless person that would step aside.
“Why her, Beck? You literally have scores of women throw themselves at you after your show. Every. Time.” I grabbed a beer, handed one to him and settled in my spot on the couch.
“Like you are hard up?”
Sarcastic fucker. At my deadpanned stare he huffed and continued.
“All right, all right. I don’t know. I guess the best answer I could give you is, those girls only see me the rock star. They’re hoping I make it big and take them with me. I’m not a real person to them. Just a means to a fantastical end. Astrid didn’t even know I was in a band until I saved her from that party. It’s never been about who I could be with her. It’s all about who I am. And the way she takes pictures of my shows, I know she really sees me.”
“That’s all great, but all you said was a lot of me. What about her?”
“Hey, that’s not what I meant.” He said through gritted teeth. “I don’t see Astrid as a way to fluff up my own ego. I see her as someone I could build something meaningful with. No matter if it’s in a garage, or on the stage. When I look at Astrid, I see a gorgeous, kindred spirit that’s struggling to stay above water, and make something of herself.”
Funny. I saw the same thing.
“Are you set on going after her. Thatch?” His use of my nickname made me feel shit as I responded.
“Absolutely.”
“Well, damn. What are we supposed to do then? Because I’m pretty sure the Jolly Green Giant also thinks he has a shot. You know why?” He dropped his head back and stared at the ceiling.
“No.” I really didn’t. I was in school for an hour every day, but that left so much time for a connection to happen when I wasn’t there.
He chugged the last of his beer and walked it to the trash. “Then I guess we all do our own thing.”
“I agree. But Beck, what happens if each of us fall for her and she chooses one? This friendship that we have, it will crumble.”
“Undoubtedly.”
And wasn’t that the ugly truth.
What a great way to get answers. I kicked the POS tire and stomped back to the driver’s side. A flat tire was exactl
y what I needed. Now that I had this burning desire to get answers, the world was doing its best to keep me down.
I could call Beck. He’d never been a fan of mine. The hypocrite that he was had condemned me from the beginning because of where I grew up. He thought I didn’t know that, but one night, and I was sure it wasn’t the first, I heard him lay it all out for Astrid. And the hilarity of it was, he was from the same side of the tracks as I was.
But I proved him right. I didn’t even try to push against the life the world had laid out before me. I did push, until it looked like it was the only way to get out was to fall in. Only for a short while.
I knew better than that. One job turned into another, and another. And I had this bright idea to record everything and keep records as insurance. I wasn’t as smart as I thought I was.
The phone rang once, twice, three times. Then a gruff voice came down the line.
“You have some nerve calling me. Astrid’s been worried sick. And she has enough to worry about without you adding your shit to it.”
Beck the rock star. Beck the good time guy. He was none of those things with me. Ever. But did I blame him? No.
“I know. I’m not anyone’s favorite person right now. But believe me when I say, I’m being an ass to protect everyone.”
“Let’s be clear. You were never my favorite person. I did my best to make Astrid see you weren’t good for her, but she had none of it. Now it’s on you to get yourself clear of this mess and be the friend she needs.”
I knew that, too.
“Thanks for your support.” I forced as much derision as I could down the line. “I’m trying. I’m trying to fix everything before I talk to Astrid. I can’t take this to her door. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to her. And you don’t know me if you thought any different.”
“Oh, I know you.” He mumbled, but I doubted that was for my ears. “And your efforts are pointless where Astrid’s concerned. She’s on a manhunt to save your ass. She even had me drive her and her merry band of men over to your place. You should have thought of what would happen before you fucked over the Devil’s Hands.”
Ugly Truths: A Contemporary YA Romance (Astrid Scott Series Book 2) Page 13