When she closed her front door she turned to look at her house. It was bare, devoid of any holiday cheer, any cheer at all really. This was the life she’d built for herself. She could blame it on bad choices or insist it was the product of poor judgment, but at the end of the day, it was what it was—empty. She’d spent all her time comparing her time with Chris to every relationship she’d had before him when, in reality, they didn’t feel at all the same. Before Chris, she was Sadney, and after him, she’d returned to the same thing.
If it was all going to go terribly wrong, all fall apart, then the worst that could happen was she’d return to this, the emptiness she was already living in. So why deprive herself of the joy she felt when she was with him?
She sank back onto the couch and, just as the little boy had done, pulled the blanket up over her head. His small tantrum finally made complete sense to her. She understood how you could want, no—need—a man like Chris to make things feel better. How you could want to cry and stomp your feet until he appeared, ready to hold you. To tell you he loved you, that everything would be all right.
Chapter Nine
2 Days Until Christmas
The following morning, after an exhausting amount of internal debate, Sydney headed to Chris’s house. Parked around the corner, she waited until he left for work before making her move. It was Sean she needed to talk to, and she needed him to be alone.
“Sean, I have a proposition for you,” Sydney smiled as she stood in the doorway. It was just two days until Christmas and she knew she had to work fast.
“Boy, I have changed, I don’t even have a smart-ass remark for you,” Sean teased as he invited her in.
“I need you to fall off the wagon.” She hadn’t exactly thought out how that would sound and she immediately regretted it. “I mean, I need you to pretend to.”
“I’m not following you here, Sydney. I’m assuming your being here is a good sign, but I don’t know what my sobriety has to do with that.”
Sydney looked around the room and realized they hadn’t moved forward with any of the decorating plans Chris had so energetically laid out for them before the day he fought with Caleb. The tree stood in the corner still wrapped in the netting and leaning against the wall, propped in a bowl of water. The wrapping paper and bows were sitting on the table unopened.
“I want to give Chris the holiday he’s been dreaming of, and I need your help. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve, so we’ll have a lot of planning to do, but I think we can pull it off. I just need to know if you’re in or out.”
Sean grinned widely. “I have so many Christmases to make up for that I would do anything to make it up to him. He’s earned it.”
Little Chris walked in to join them, clearly having been eavesdropping. “Me too, I want to help, too.” Sean tousled his hair and pulled him in for a playful headlock.
“Where do we start?” Sean asked, pulling a chair to the table and gesturing for her to join him.
“I’m going to need to talk to that woman Chris and Little Chris keep bragging about. Betty, right? I want to cook the meal, but I’m going to need some help first.”
“I know how to get in touch with her,” Little Chris said excitedly as he bolted to a drawer by the kitchen that held an address book.
“Okay, then we’ll need to get Chris out of the house on Christmas Eve night so I can get in here and set everything up. That’s where you come in, Sean. The only reason I can see him leaving on Christmas Eve would be to go get you, if you needed him.”
“Ah, so I should pretend to be off the wagon, and maybe a good distance away?”
“Yes, but in reality you’ll be here helping me get everything together. Do you think he’ll believe that?”
“Unfortunately, I’ve given him plenty of reasons over the years for that story to be completely believable. I can do that. What else do you need?”
“Chris mentioned some holiday decorations that got left behind when you all left. I want to recreate some of them. I’ll need your help for that. Do you remember some stockings your nonna made?”
“Of course. There are a bunch of decorations we left behind that I can tell you about.”
“Well then, we all have some work to do, don’t we? I’ll be at the supermarket all afternoon and coordinating with Betty. You guys just keep this a secret until we can get him out of the house tomorrow, understand?” she asked, raising an eyebrow and pointing a finger at Little Chris who nodded feverishly.
As Sydney stood to leave, Sean caught her arm. “What changed your mind?” he asked, searching her face as if the answer might be written there.
“I realized that old saying, everything happens for a reason, is true, but sometimes the reason is that I’m an idiot and make dumb choices. He makes me happy. I can’t control everything, but I want to be happy. I can’t imagine having my heart broken again, but the only thing scarier than that is not being with him.”
She hurried out of the house and to her car, buzzing with the energy of pulling this off. She dialed the number scratched down in the address book and smiled as the woman on the other end of the phone picked up.
“Hello,” she answered with an endearing drawl.
“Hi ma’am, my name is Sydney.” She hadn’t really ever worked hard at being liked, she hadn’t cared about that, but now she was giving it a try.
“If you’re calling me ma’am I’m assuming you’re trying to sell me something.”
“No, I’m not, I’m a friend of Chris King. His son gave me your number.” The other end of the line was silent for a long moment and Sydney felt the sweat gathering under her wool hat. She tugged at the zipper of her coat, feeling like she might smother.
“Well, if that’s true then I’m sure they had a good reason for giving out my number, so let’s hear it.”
“I’m not going to sugarcoat this,” she started and stopped when Betty’s voice cut in.
“Good, because at the rate this conversation is going I’ll be dead and buried by the time you get to the point.”
She giggled uneasily and continued. “Chris and I have been dating, and I kind of screwed things up. I want to make it right by surprising him with the Christmas he’s been dreaming about. But the problem is I’m just an average cook, and the recipes in his grandmother’s book are a little over my head. I was hoping you could help me out? Maybe you could walk me through some of it?”
“You expect me to spend hours on the phone with you trying to explain how to caramelize onions or sift flour on Christmas Eve?”
“I know that’s a lot to ask of someone, and I’m sure it would be tediously boring for you-”
Betty cut in again, “Actually I was going to say I can’t think of a better way to spend the time. Chris is one of the best men I know, and if you intend to make him happy I want to be a part of that. I adore his son and I’ll do whatever I can to help from here. I’m in New York City right now, but you can call me tomorrow night and I can walk you through everything. I’m sitting in a fancy-schmancy hotel room right now with nothing better to do.”
“Thank you, Betty, you are as amazing as they say you are.”
“Flattery will get you everywhere dear, now let’s talk ham.”
Chapter Ten
1 Day Until Christmas
“I hate to do this to you, Sydney, especially on Christmas Eve. I didn’t know who else to call.” Chris’s voice sounded so despondent that Sydney contemplated letting him in on the secret just to save him from this pain.
“It’s not a problem, Chris, you know I don’t celebrate the holidays anyway. You need to go get Sean. I’ll stay with Little Chris for you. I’ll be over in a bit.”
It was a true effort to keep her smile from coming across in her voice as spoke to him. She loaded up her car with bags of food and the decorations she’d bought and made to try to recreate some of Chris’s memories. Everything was falling into place. Now all she needed was to keep a straight face when he explained to her where he w
as heading.
And she quickly realized, as she stood in front of him, that it wouldn’t be easy. He was pacing around the house trying to explain to her how Sean had called from a town a few hours away and he was in trouble. He needed to be picked up and he sounded like he was drunk.
“Little Chris is already asleep so you shouldn’t need to do much. I’ll be back in about six or seven hours. Just make yourself at home. You know where everything is.”
She tugged his sleeve and handed him the car keys that he was frantically looking for. “Try not to jump to conclusions. Just get out there and pick him up. Everything will work out.”
“I miss you, Sydney.” He ran his hand from her shoulder past her elbow and then finally to her fingertips.
“You better get going so you’re back in time for Christmas morning.”
“Look at this place, I don’t even have the tree up or the presents wrapped. I thought I might do some of it tonight, but why bother?”
“Go,” she waved at him from the doorway, closing her sweater to block the frigid air. He pulled away and she stepped out onto the porch and watched as he rounded the corner out of sight. She fished out her phone from her pocket and gave Sean the okay to come back to the house.
She ran into Little Chris’s room and his pretend sleep ceased instantly as he shot up in excitement. “Is he gone?”
“Yes, it’s time to get started. We have a lot of work to do.”
Sean came back in the front door, kicking the snow off his boots and trying to warm his frozen cheeks.
“What were you two chit-chatting about while I was freezing my ass off out there?”
“Well don’t get too warm, you have to help me unload the car.”
They worked to get everything settled quickly. Sean and Little Chris were responsible for setting up and decorating the tree, as well as hanging the decorations and stockings.
“I can’t believe you found all these. You must have had to go to a hundred stores. Chris is going to flip. I remember all of this from when I was a kid. We used to drive my parents nuts with these little bells,” Sean said, shaking them and laughing.
“I’m going to call Betty now. I’m really hoping she can walk me through all these recipes.”
“Why don’t you use my computer to Skype with her?” Little Chris offered, flipping the laptop open.
“That’s a great idea, I’ll call her and see if she has a way to do that on her end.”
The phone rang six times before a breathless Betty answered.
“I’m so sorry, am I interrupting you?” Sydney asked, suddenly feeling like this was a terrible plan and maybe she should take her off speakerphone.
“No, no dear, I’m just here with a friend. He’s a chef you know, so he can help us, too. Are you ready to get started?”
“I’m wondering if maybe we should Skype instead?”
“Skype? I don’t know that recipe. Is it German?”
They all laughed, including whoever she was with on her end of the phone. Sydney heard a man’s voice chime in. “I’ll grab my computer and send you my number. Hang on.”
A few minutes later their connection was made, and Sydney smiled as she realized Betty looked exactly as she had imagined, well maybe with slightly messier hair.
“Wait just a minute, y’all can see me?” she asked, jumping out of the frame. She came back a moment later with the misaligned buttons on her blouse resituated and her hair slightly tamed.
“You gotta warn a girl about something like that,” she said, waving at Little Chris who was popping in and out of the shot trying to get her attention. “Hey there, little guy, I miss you something awful. Can’t wait to come see you again.” She blew him a kiss and he reciprocated.
“Oh, this is going to work nicely,” Betty decided, looking at the kitchen in front of her. “Let’s get started.”
Sydney had assumed it would take a couple hours to get the food prepped and ready to pop in the oven early the next morning. She was wrong. By two a.m. Little Chris was asleep and Sean was just finishing wrapping the last present, his lids looking heavy, while Sydney was still slaving away in the kitchen.
“This was so much more work than I thought it would be,” she yawned for the hundredth time. “Thank you for all the time you’re spending with me tonight, Betty. I couldn’t have done this without you.”
“You just give that man the Christmas he’s been waiting for, he deserves it. Call me if you have any more trouble.” Betty and her companion waved their goodbyes and the screen went black.
It would be easy to point out all the flaws in a man like Chris, but when you looked at the people who loved him you could see there was something special about him. You couldn’t be so adored by so many and still be all bad.
“I’m going to text Chris now and tell him you showed up back home. That you’re in bed and he should come back.”
“He’s going to be so pissed at me,” Sean sulked, not wanting to deal with his brother’s wrath, even if it was for a fake reason.
She looked down as her phone chirped again. “Judging by the expletives here, I’m guessing he intends to teach you some kind of lesson when he gets here. He’s been driving around looking everywhere for you,” she smirked.
“I can’t wait,” he laughed. “I’m done.” He threw the last present under the tree, and his shoulders sank with exhaustion. The house looked like a winter wonderland, exactly how she had planned.
“Go get some sleep, I’m going to finish the food. Chris should be home in a few hours. Then we’ll all spend Christmas morning together like he wanted.” She patted Sean’s shoulder. “Thank you.”
“You’re the one who deserves gratitude here. You’re a special woman, Sydney. He’s lucky to have you. We all are.”
With that, Sean turned the corner to his room and Sydney heard snoring within sixty seconds. She made her way back through the kitchen, wiping clean the counters, wrapping up the rest of the food to go in the refrigerator. When everything was back in place she collapsed on the couch and looked at her watch. Maybe she should just close her eyes for a few minutes and get some rest.
She turned on the soft Christmas music CD she had placed in the stereo and pulled a blanket over her as she curled into a ball. The twinkling of the lights on the tree and the stacks of presents underneath it felt exactly how she remembered Christmas as a child. This had been what Chris was trying to create, and, she had to admit, it felt good.
Chapter Eleven
Christmas Day
Chris pulled into the driveway of the house he was still trying to pretend was a home. He’d practiced the tough love speech he intended to deliver to Sean and reminded himself that recovery was a long journey. While he wasn’t pleased with what had happened, he’d half expected it. Sean would be back in rehab come morning, Chris would drive him there himself. He was disappointed, but that wasn’t anything new in his relationship with his brother.
The other speech he’d been crafting was for Sydney. He’d given her some space, but he was not ready to let her go. His nonna had given him advice many years ago. She told him, Everything looks hard when you first look at it—look again, always look again. He intended to ask Sydney to keep looking at the idea of them being together.
He rested his head on the steering wheel for a minute, trying to slow his breath and ready himself for the shit storm that was surely waiting for him inside. As he lifted his head he caught the glimmer of twinkling lights peeking through his curtains. He squinted his eyes to get a better look. Was that the Christmas tree they had bought?
He pulled on his hat and swung open the car door, walking quickly toward the house. He felt, for a second, the way he did when he came storming down his nonna’s stairs on Christmas morning, but he tried to temper his excitement. He’d been driving for almost eight hours, maybe he was seeing things.
He peeked in the window and when he caught a glimpse of Sydney curled up on his couch, surrounded by a practical winter wonderlan
d of decorations and presents, he thought for sure he was hallucinating. This was the girl who chose not to celebrate Christmas. The one he was falling in love with but who wasn’t sure she could love him back. This had to be a dream.
He quietly pulled open the door and slipped out of his wet boots. The smell of food filled his nose and the decorations that hung on the mantle teleported him back to his childhood.
“I had a thing planned, and a welcome home moment,” Sydney groaned as she rubbed at her eyes and pouted. “You ruined it.”
He came to the side of the couch and knelt in front of her sleepy face. “How did you do all this?” he asked in astonishment.
“I had help.” She touched his face gently and all the aches, all the long talks he had planned for everyone melted away. “Betty talked to me for hours tonight helping me get the meal ready to go in the oven later. She’s an incredible woman.”
Chris shook his head in disbelief. “There seems to be a lot of that going around lately.” He reached for her hand that was still on his cheek and brought it to his lips.
“Your brother also pitched in quite a bit.”
“You mean he could still walk when he got back here?” Chris rolled his eyes and huffed loudly.
“Don’t be mad, it was only a little white lie. We needed to get you out of the house, and I knew when the bat signal went out you’d go. Don’t be mad,” she repeated.
“He wasn’t drunk or high?” Chris ran his hands through his dark hair as though the motion might help push the truth into his brain, force him to believe his brother not only wasn’t relapsing but that he’d helped orchestrate something so special.
“No.”
“So all of this was part of your plan? What are you trying to tell me?” He searched her face for an answer, the one that told him they had a future.
Choosing Christmas (A Piper Anderson Novella) (Piper Anderson Series) Page 7