by Rod Carstens
Kate laughed, imagining the scene of a bunch of young Marines laughing and cheering the destruction of can of C rations in midst of a war. The absurdly of it made Tom and all those young Marines very real and very human instead of images on TV.
"Sounds like that Lieutenant was something." She said.
"He was." Tom looked out the window for a moment before he said. "He was killed a couple of days before Mac."
CHAPTER 9
Kate ate in silence as she tried to imagine a world where people were killed daily. She glanced at Tom. He had simply gone back to eating his food as if he had told her a friend had gone off to college instead of being killed. What do you say to something like that? This conversation was a minefield of realities that were filled with real tragedy. Kate was hesitant to renew the conversation, but she found herself not wanting it to end, especially on such terrible note. She tried to change the subject to something she to which she already knew the ending.
"Mac sounds like quite a guy."
"He was my best friend. He used to call me the only honkie friend he ever had."
"Your friend was black? "
"Yeah, why?"
"I guess I hadn't pictured him as black."
"I gotta' admit he was the first black guy I ever had as a close friend."
Kate was silent. She could see talking about Mac made him uncomfortable yet Tom went on talking.
"He was a bad ass gang member straight out of Watts. He had a choice between four years in jail and four years in the Marine Corps," Tom said.
"Four years in jail. I didn't know they could do that."
Tom looked at her.
"Oh, yeah. Everybody thinks four years in the Crotch will do them good. I knew another guy who had the same choice. He ran moonshine."
"The Crotch?"
"That is what we call the Marine Corp."
"But..I mean, they're criminals."
"Out there, in the bush, there are no good guys or bad guys. There are no black or white or brown. There are no honkies, spics, niggers or anything else. Everybody is green. And you are judged one way and one way only. That is if you can do the deed. If you are in the middle of the shit, and you look next to you and the guy is standing there with you; then he is a stand up guy. No matter how deep it got Mac was always there, in fact he was usually in front. So it didn't matter who you were before, it only mattered if you were a standup guy."
Kate put her hand on his arm and was surprised at how hard it was under her soft hand. It felt like human iron.
"I'm sorry, I really did not mean it that way."
Tom's face softened as he saw she had meant what she said.
"I am sorry. It just that... I don't know. It has been a very strange couple of days. If you will excuse I need to use the head."
"Head?"
"Sorry. Bathroom."
When Tom slipped past her, she placed her hand on his back as he inched past her. She could feel the individual muscles moving under his shirt. Kate was no stranger to men. She had worked hard never to forget Billy Bob so trust was something that did not come easy, but found she liked men, and they liked her. She learned how to attract them, still keeping her distance and controlling the relationship. Never letting anyone get close. Controlling men had become easy. It was her weapon of offense and defense in the rough LA entertainment business.
Yet when she felt the stirring of desire touching him brought, she was surprised. He was so different. Tough, yet vulnerable and those gorgeous unusually blue eyes. He was not handsome in the way the actors and playboys she had dated in L.A., yet he was somehow much more appealing. She lit a cigarette to cover her confusion. What was going on here? Kate was having a hard time putting this guy into some box that she could understand.
CHAPTER 10
Tom stepped out of the bathroom and was making his way back to his seat, when a man in a paisley Nehru jacket stood up in front of him. He was in his thirties, had long hair, side burns and a Fu Manchu mustache, he stood a head taller than Tom and was much bigger. So when he didn't move out of Tom's way there was no way Tom was going around him.
"Not all of us think the way that pilot does. We are against this immoral war, and anyone who is fighting it." he said his voice loud.
Tom just stared at him for a moment then tried to move past him. The man moved so he could not pass him. All the conversation in the First Class cabin came to a halt.
"What's the matter there, soldier? Afraid of a real man?"
Tom smirked and tried to move past again. Again the man moved in front of Tom. The man glanced over his shoulder at the woman traveling with him.
"Just like I told you. Afraid to stand up to a real man, but not afraid to kill babies."
Kate saw the change in Tom's eyes first. There was no sadness anymore. They became as hard the muscles she had felt on his back. Before she could say anything. Tom's mouth turned down into a snarl as he punched him once in the stomach. The much larger man doubled over gagging; the woman with him gasped and cringed in her seat. Tom grabbed him by his Nehru jacket and shoved him back into his seat as if he weighed nothing. Then grabbing him by the throat Tom leaned down until his face was inches from the man's it was turning red with fear.
"I was killing people less than thirty-six hours ago. Now if you bother me again I might forget where I am." The man just stared at him his eyes wide with fear. Tom's mouth turned down into a snarl.
"Understand?"
The man could only shake his head. Tom stood up and faced the rest of the first class cabin. Several other men had stood and looked as if they were going to say or do something. Tom waited his fists balled. They all sat down. Tom slipped back into this seat and lit a cigarette. He turned away from Kate and stared out the window. One of the stewardesses had rushed to the cockpit when it all began, the pilot who had defended Tom when he first got on the plane, emerged from the cockpit and came to their seats.
"What happened?"
"Nothing sir. It's over," Tom said not turning from the window.
"Tom, tell him," Kate said.
"It's nothing,"
Kate turned to the pilot. "That man confronted Tom and said not everybody felt the way you did about the war and those who were fighting it. Tom kept trying to just sit down. Then the man called him a baby killer and a coward. That is when Tom punched him once in the stomach."
The pilots face turned red with anger, he went to the man's seat and knelt down. The man was still doubled over in his seat trying to catch his breath.
"You can hate this war all you want. I think it is mistake myself. But you will never abuse a Marine or any other service man who is fighting this damn thing, not on my aircraft or I will let him loose on you. And trust me you don't want that. If you desire to make a compliant against me here is my card. By the way, I think he showed remarkable restraint."
The pilot stopped by Tom and Kate's seats on the way back to the cockpit. "You all right, Marine?"
"Yes sir. Thanks." Tom said without turning away from the window.
"No problem." The pilot frowned then he looked at Kate and said. "Let me know if he needs anything, will you?"
"Yes I will."
Kate reached over and slipped her hand into Tom's. It was rough and hard. It was trembling. It stopped trembling when she took it
"I almost forgot where I was. I could have kil...really hurt him." Tom said quietly his eyes never leaving the evening sky outside the window. Kate was stunned. It had not been fear that caused him to tremble, but fear that he might have really hurt the man.
"It's all right."
"No. It's not, I'm not the same as I was anymore."
There was real sadness in his voice.
"Look, everything is all right."
"I am not so sure." He stubbed his cigarette out with short jabs. Tom continued to stare out into the night but he squeezed her hand in thanks. Kate squeezed it back.
Chapter 11
They sat in silence until Kate realized he was
asleep his leaning against the bulkhead of the jet. Who was this boy warrior? Who was this young Marine who one minute was quite and gentle, then the next violent and dangerous? How in the world had she come to feel as if she needed to take care of him?
Kate finished her cigarette, trying to make sense out of all of this. This man/boy had none of the flash, money, confidence or moves that her latest string of beau's had. In fact he had been without guile, simply talking to her and actually listening to what she was saying. He was interested in her and what she had to say. When he talked to her he had not tried to embellish or impress her with his exploits but quite the opposite. It was as if he were trying to come to terms with them through their conversation. He seemed to instinctively trust her and was telling her things she did not think he had told anyone.
She had found herself being more honest and forthcoming than she had been with anyone in a very long time. She had used none of her normal tricks she had developed to protect herself in the jungles of L.A. and Hollywood. As she realized all of this she found herself with no desire to change how she was acting, in fact she found it felt wonderful to be this way with someone. Finally growing tired, she tried to take her hand out of his, but she could not pull it away without waking him, so she gave in and leaned her head against his shoulder, and closed her eyes. She felt safe and relaxed next to him, it was such a strange feeling given what had just happened, she was soon asleep.
They had been asleep for some time when Tom started to mumble in his sleep. At first quietly then loudly, it woke Kate up. Then he said.
"Mac, Mac. No man. No."
Kate shook his shoulder. Tom bolted upright, his hand coming up toward her. She pulled back, startled. Realizing what he had almost done, a look of real concern crossed Tom's face.
"Oh, my God. I am so sorry. You. You can't just wake me up. We all have this kind of, uh reaction. I am so sorry."
"Sweetie it is all right. No harm done. I was only startled." She put her hand to his face it seemed to relax him. "I could never really be scared of you."
Their eyes met for a long time. Kate had no idea why she had said what she did, after all that had just happened, but she knew it to be true. True in a way she could not explain. After a moment she said.
"You were calling Mac's name."
"I was having a nightmare. I was back in the house. We were going back up the stairs."
"Stairs?"
He sighed and eyes became even sadder if that were possible.
"Never mind."
"Want to go back to sleep?"
Tom, in spite of looking exhausted said. "No, I don't think so."
"So, I've told you all about me but what about you?"
Kate looked him and realized he had deliberately changed the subject. She found she too was wide-awake now.
"Ok. Where do I start? I left home at sixteen." It had been earlier but that is what she told everybody.
"Really?"
"Yeah, after my father died my mother was not capable of being by herself. She had a string of boyfriends. I have always looked older than I am, so more than one of them had roving hands. The last straw was the last one. He had more than roving hands. One day when my mother was at work he came into my bedroom and well."
She paused, normally the truth never entered her mind but with this boy she found it hard to stick to her story. Somewhere she wanted to tell him the truth but she could not bring herself to tell him. She stuck to the story that worked so well for the last years. She didn't want to tell him the truth it was better not to admit what had happened it was easier to pretend it had not.
"He tried to rape me."
"Tried?"
"Yeah. I can kick. I was a tomboy growing up. I left him crying on the floor." She paused for effect. "That was it as far as I was concerned. So the next day I packed my things, and hit the road. I thumbed my way out to California and got a job as a waitress in this little diner on the coast."
"All by yourself?"
"Yes why?" Kate said sharply.
Tom put his hand up.
"Easy there. I didn't mean it that way. That's tough way to go. You have to know how to handle yourself. You must be a real tough guy. I am impressed." He smiled. "Seriously impressed."
"I think that is the nicest thing somebody has ever said to me." Kate said finding herself unexpectedly glad she had impressed this young man.
Tom just smiled.
"So how did you get into modeling and making movies?"
"A guy comes into the diner where I was working one day. He looked like some of the pretend Hollywood types that would come in and make a pass at me. He was nice but he kept staring at me. I blew him off."
"An older guy right?"
"Yeah, that is exactly what I thought. Then that afternoon he shows up with another guy. They take some pictures. He gives me a fifty, and says he'll show them to the right people. Well, what do you know, but he was legit. The next thing I know I on a photo shoot for a magazine. That was two years ago. Things have only gotten busier. I fly between L.A. and New York almost once a week."
"How did you end up making a movie in Hawaii?"
"Well, it turns out the guy who got me into modeling is a writer. He was one of the writers on the script and told the director that he thought I would be right for the part of the girl."
"What's the movie about?"
"Surfing."
Tom made a face. "Gidget goes to Hawaii?"
Kate gave him a look and said. "Do I look like a Gidget to you?"
"Sorry there tough guy. I didn't mean it that way."
She liked it when he called her tough guy. She smiled and said. "No. It's about three guys who are in the same spot you were in. Just out of high school and facing the draft. Only they were in Hawaii naturally. So it is about how each decides how he is going to face the war and how that affects their futures. It's a serious movie."
"What part do you play?"
"The love interest, as they call it." Kate said.
"Naturally." Tom smiled. "Sounds like they are making a movie out of my life. I surfed my way through high school."
They talked the rest of the night and were still talking as the sky outside the window began to brighten illuminating the coast of California. By the time the plane touched down Kate felt as if she had known him forever.
Chapter 12
Los Angeles International Airport
Los Angeles, California
1968
Tom and Kate were standing together awkwardly after they exited the plane, not knowing what to say or do. It seemed to have been more that a simple plane flight for both of them. When the man in the Nehru jacket departed the plane he gave Tom a wide birth as he walked past.
"Thanks for talking to me." Tom said.
"I don't understand."
"It made the flight a lot easier."
She looked at him. Some of the sadness in those gorgeous eyes seemed to have gone.
"My pleasure there cowboy."
"I am Marine."
They both laughed.
"Kate!" Someone yelled.
They turned to see an expensively dressed man in his forties striding up to them. He was tanned, lean and in shape with a long salt and pepper grey crew cut.
"Honey, I am sorry I'm late. But traffic was horrible."
They hugged, and Kate kissed him gently on the mouth.
"Jack I want you to meet someone. We sat next to one another on the plane. This is Tom. Tom this is the man I told you about."
Jack stared at him for a long moment. He looked as if it he were seeing something very familiar. He glanced at his ribbons before he said anything. Then he stuck his hand out and said.
"Jack. Jack Hayward. Semper Fi."
Tom broke into the biggest smile Kate had seen from him since she had met him.
"Semper Fi." Tom replied.
They shook hands warmly.
"Would somebody let me in on what is going on." Kate said. Looking from one to another.
"Jack is a former Marine." Tom said.
"Semper Fi means always faithful. Once a Marine always a Marine." Jack said.
"Who were you with?" Tom asked.
"Second Mar Div. World War II."
"Shit. Old Corp. Tarawa?"
"Yeah."
"Jesus."
"That was a long time ago. A whole lifetime ago." Jack said.
Kate saw some of the same sadness she had seen in Tom's eyes in Jack's as he spoke about the Marines. She had never seen that sadness before in all the time she had known him.
"You never told me you were a Marine."
"Don't like to talk about it." Jack said. His voice was different than she had ever heard.
"But other older guys are always trying to impress me with what they did in the war." Kate said.
Jack did not say anything for a long moment. It was as if meeting Tom had brought back some old and difficult memories.
Finally Tom said. "They were poges."
"Poges?" Kate said.
Jack still did not say anything.
"They didn't do anything. They did not see any combat." Tom said.
"How do you know?" Kate asked.
"Because if you have been in combat you don't like to talk about it."
Jack finally chimed in. "He's right. I don't like to talk about it. I did see a lot of combat."
"Going home Tom?" Jack asked.
"No. I am just on R&R."
"Good then I can get you good and drunk."
"I am escorting a body home."
Jack's face changed so much, that Kate almost didn't recognize him. It was as if he were transported to an old sad place. It was a look she had seen on Tom's face when he talked about Mac.
"Did you know him?"
"My best friend."
"They did not let us do that back then." Jack said quietly.
CHAPTER 13
Tom and Jack both seemed lost in thoughts that Kate could not fathom. She let the silence lengthen between them understanding they needed the time to leave those thoughts behind. They were standing there a little three-person knot between all the coming and goings, when a young army lieutenant walked up to them.