by Jaci J
Lil
What the hell happened to me? My heads pounding to the point of explosion. My body hurts. Aching and throbbing. I've either been tramples by a herd of elephants or a big ass truck it me. I haven't been to Africa and don't remember playing in the road. Christ what's going on? My body feels off. Almost feels like I'm floating around. I can feel pain, but it's distant. Trying to open my eyes I give up when they start to feel like hundred pound weights. Moving my hand I feel a hand on mine. “Tank?” Shit my throat feels dry. It's tight and scratchy. It has to be Tank. It's a rough and warm hand. The hand moves. Hopping like hell that hand belongs to Tank. He doesn't say anything. Maybe he's sleeping. “Sleeping?” I try again. There's more movement. “Lil?” My heart flutters. Tank. His deep rough voice is music to my ears. Swear I love that deep gruff voice. Besides sending my body into a frenzy it also makes me smile. “Fuck baby. Fuck! … Damn it Lil look at me.” Oh Lord there's the angry Tank. I like that Tank too. Hell I like every Tank. “Bossy ass.” I tell him, because damn he is. For a few moments there's silence. Then I hear a shuddered breath and a sniffle. He's crying? Why is Tank crying? Giving myself a mental pep talk I try for the eyes again. It's not easy, but they crack open. Muted light hits me first. Tank's heartbroken face materializes in front of me. “Fuck baby. God I've fuckin' missed you,” he rasps voice thick with emotion. “You okay?” I ask him. I don't understand what's wrong. Is he hurt? For a brief second he closes his eyes looking pained. Opening them he smiles a sad smile at me. “Baby, yeah.” Bringing my hand up to his lips he kisses my knuckles, “I love you Lilly.” My eyes catch the tubes, needles, and bandages. Oh God. It hits me in a flood. Eyes to Tank. He's alive. I'm alive. My family? “Are they ...” Shaking his head he smiles that sad smile again. “Everyone's good angel.” My heart settles. Closing my eyes I smile. I'm alive.
I've spent two weeks in this hospital room. One of those I was out cold, but this last one I've been awake. It has not been great. I really want to go home. This icky sterile blue and white hospital room makes me long for Tanks room. I want to crawl in Tanks bed, pull him with me, and sleep for a life time. I can't sit here any longer. I feel good. A little sore, but really it's nothing I can't handle. “Sis, you can't just get up,” Gin grumbles from beside my bed. Glaring at him I throw my blanket back. I'm not staying in this bed one more boring ass second. “Gettin' up. Get outta my way.” Grumbling Gin moves aside. He doesn't look happy about doing it, but he does it. “Shot three God damn times n' you're still a pain in my damn ass.” Smacking at his shoulders I move to the edge of the bed. Tank's standing at the foot of the bed learning against the wall. Arms crossed across his chest, smirk on his lips. “Babe get back in bed,” he chuckles softly. Shooting him a glare too I put my feet on the floor. Burr I should have slipped socks on. “Shut up!” Throwing his head back he laughs, “I fuckin' love you.” His eyes soft and caring. He's been saying that a lot this past week. He says it every chance he gets. Says it for no reason at all. He says it when he's staring at me like I'm about to vanish into thin air. Says it when I'm yelling at everyone. Says it while smiling at me. Along with telling me he loves me he keeps apologizing. I never needed one. His love is all I need. It's all I want. I'm over all that shit. I've forgotten about all the shit he said to me, because deep down I know how he really feels. “Love you too. Now help me outta this bed,” I tell him holding my hand out to him. Those strong hard features soften. Taking my hand he pulls me up. An arm resting gently around my lower back, the other holding my hand. “You okay?” Nodding I bury my face in his chest. He smells just like I remember. Tank, leather, smoke, and man. Breathing deeply I sigh. My favorite spot. “You wanted up so you could smell me babe?” Yes. I'd walk through hell just to be able to bury my face in his chest. “Yep.” Gin snorts a laugh. “Still a fuckin' nerd.” Maybe so, but Tank is my favorite smell. I love it, just like I love everything else about him.
Four days later they released me. I've spent the afternoon at the club letting everyone wait on me and tell me how much they love me and how happy they are that I'm okay. Everyone needed that reassurance. Seeing the love and worry my family has for me makes me appreciate them that much more. It was good to see everyone, but to be honest all I want to do was go to Tanks and crawl into bed. Tank hasn't left my eye sight since I woke up. Sitting on the couch he's a few feet away talking with Sargent. “Tank?” I'm tired and ready to go. Turning around he's on me before I blink. “Babe?” Scooting closer to me he looks me over. Always looking for something wrong. Pulling him close I talk quietly. “Can you take me home? I'm tired.” Leaning forward he takes my face in his hands. Kissing my forehead he smiles. “Baby yeah.” Saying my goodbyes and getting out the door was a thing all on its own. Took an hour, but finally I was able to get out of there. Driving down the road Tank turns his blinker on. “No not my dad's place.” I watch his face slowly turn towards mine. An eye brow cocked in question. “Said home babe?” I did and I meant home. Through this whole thing all I wanted was Tank's home. Wanted his bed. His arms. “I did.” That happy face now's etched with a scowl. Here comes bossy. “Swear to God Lil you mean Seattle I'm gunna ...” Holding up my hand I smile reassuringly. He's worried about me leaving. That handsome face's scowl full of worry. “No babe your place. Home.” Out of now where he veers off of the road. I all but fall over in my seat. Skidding to a stop. Face forward, eyes on the road ahead. Hands gripping the steering wheel with a white knuckled grip. My heart thuds into my ribs. Doubt wonders in. Maybe he doesn't want me to move in any more. Tank's is the only place I've wanted to be. I don't think I can be at my dad's right now. The club is too busy and loud. And I definitely don't want to go home to Seattle alone. A small trickle of panic sends a chill over my body. Where am I going to go? Fear of losing Tank weighs heavy in my heart. I fight the tears. “If … I mean I don't … well I don't have to go to ...” Grabbing my arms he tugs me to him. Hands wrapped up in my hair. “Shut up Lil. You come home with me to our place.”
About the Author
I live in a small hick town right on the coast of good ol’ Washington State, about two hours outside of Seattle. Although I live in a small town don’t mistake my location for my love of all things country, because I’m a city girl through and through. My heart lives in the fast paced hustle and bustle of the city. I live with or right next door to my tribe, or as most know them, my family. My lovely, but nutty mother lives right next door with my hair brained grandma. I currently reside in my nut house with my strange, but wonderful fiancé and my wild as hell little monster boy. My biker mouthed, but funny and amazing little sister lives not too far away with my adorable nephew and hick down to his bones brother in law. I have an enormous love for music. I love it all. My sister and I go to as many concerts as humanly possible. But my passion is reading and writing. I have a love of all things book-related. If it has words, I’ll read it. I decided one day to write because my poor brain couldn’t take any more of the massive stories I had stored away. I figured hell I love them, maybe someone else will too. So I started writing and couldn’t stop. I still can’t stop. It’s now become an obsession. A lovely, lovely obsession.
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