by Parks, tfc
Rick felt Beth’s body tense under his hand. All eyes glared at Keith, but he didn’t notice.
“You’re going on tour?” she asked after a long silence.
“I think I might,” he said, deciding it was best to admit it now and get it over with.
“But I thought you weren’t ready for that physically. You said you weren’t ready.” By now, she had wriggled away from his embrace and stood facing him with her hands on her hips.
“And that’s why we were talking about getting him an understudy,” Randy said.
“Was I talking to you?” she asked without taking her eyes off Rick.
Randy and Devon looked at each other, stood, and headed toward the door. As they entered the house, Devon looked back to Keith who was still staring through the glass. “Hey, Keith,” Devon waved at him. “We’re going in, come on.”
Keith looked around in confusion, but rose and followed Devon inside.
Beth continued the stare-down. Why did he have to justify himself to her? They weren’t even married. “So let’s hear it. You’re obviously pissed, so let it out.”
Finally, she took her hands off her hips and pulled a chair to face his and sat down. “Are you sure you want to do this, babe?” she asked, taking his hand in hers.
He squeezed it. “I do.”
“I was hoping we wouldn’t have to deal with this for a while – you being on the road. I’m not sure I’ll be able to handle it.”
Rick could see she was trying to hold back tears, so he leaned closer and ran his hand through her hair. “What are you afraid of?”
As she looked up at him, the first tear fell down her cheek and onto his hand. “I’m… I’m,” she took a deep breath and started again. “I’m afraid of losing you. I know when you’re on the road the women throw themselves at you, and I can’t handle that. If something were to happen, if you were to slip up and sleep with one of them…” She shook her head, and as she did, more tears fell into her lap. “I won’t put up with that shit, I won’t.”
Rick pulled her towards him and kissed her tear stained cheeks, “I wouldn’t do that to you, babe, ever.” He leaned his head against hers and looked her in the eye. “Ever,” he repeated.
Beth smiled sheepishly and kissed him. “I also worry about you slipping up the other way,” she said, pulling away slightly.
“What other way”
“The pills? You know if you’re on stage every night your back is going to hurt. What will you do? How will you handle it?”
“I’ll be fine. I have my exercises that help, and I have my super duper Tylenol,” he joked. “It hardly ever hurts anymore, anyway.” After he said it, his smile faded and he began to worry. The exercises didn’t do much, and the Tylenol was a joke.
The door slid open and Mia stuck her head out, “They told me to let you guys know that dinner’s ready.”
They both chuckled, knowing the reason Mia was chosen to make the announcement. Rick stood and pulled Beth up to him. He hugged her close, and as he did, he whispered in her ear, “You don’t have to worry, I promise.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
Spring 1981
Rick walked along the narrow hallway leading to the courtesy room, exhausted from the show. His back ached like hell because he hadn’t allowed himself to take a pain pill before the concert. They were too easy to rely on and he didn’t want to slip back into the habit. He also wanted to call Beth before he took one. When they spoke on the phone, he could always tell she was trying to gauge his conversation to determine if he was high.
Devon was two steps behind him, and Randy was a few steps ahead. Rick looked back for Keith, but he was nowhere in sight. Johnny herded them into the V.I.P. dressing room, pushing away autograph seekers and amateur photographers. Rick rushed through the door – he was in pain and regretting his decision to tour for so long.
He headed for the courtesy phone and took it as far away from everyone as the cord would allow. He dialed the number and waited for Beth to answer.
“Hey, we’re done,” Rick said. “Did I wake you? No, I’m gonna head to the hotel. I’m really tired, and my back is a little sore. I just want to go to bed.” Rick tried to speak quietly, but the noise in the room was growing, and soon he found he had to shout into the phone. “I miss you too. How was your day?” The room was filling up with reporters, photographers, local DJs, and people wearing V.I.P. passes. “I said, how was your day?” Rick shouted again. “Never mind, I’ll call you tomorrow,” Rick relented. “I’ll call you tomorrow!” he yelled.
He hung up the phone and turned to face the mayhem closing in on him. He found Johnny in the crowd and whistled to get his attention. When Johnny looked over, Rick mouthed “please,” hoping Johnny could see the urgency in his eyes. Johnny nodded and headed in his direction. He led Rick through a door into a smaller room lined with couches and sitting chairs.
“Stay in here. Do you want something? Food, something to drink?”
“Is there any beer? I need to take a pill,” Rick said.
Johnny pointed to a small refrigerator in the corner of the room before he headed back out into the noise. Rick removed a can of beer from the fridge, opened it, and popped two pills from his pocket. He settled back onto one of the couches and waited for relief. Sometime later, the door opened and Rick opened one eye to see Devon enter the room, followed closely by Keith and Randy.
Rick sat up as Randy joined him on the couch. “Man, what the hell happened to you two? Devon and I had to go it alone.”
“I couldn’t take it tonight,” Rick said, but his voice seemed distant, the effect of the pills now clouding his brain, and he laid back down.
“And what about you?” Randy asked, looking at Keith.
Keith looked smug and shook his head. “You guys missed it. I ran into an old friend.” As he spoke, he pulled a cassette tape from his pocket.
“Oh yeah, who’d you see?” Randy asked.
“You’ll never believe it,” Keith said, tapping the cassette on his knee.
“You gonna tell us, or just piss me off?” Randy asked.
“I was heading for the hallway, right behind you guys, and I heard a familiar voice yelling my name.” With this, he looked at Rick and kicked his foot to make sure he was awake and listening. Rick nodded. “So, I stop and start scanning the people standing at the gate, looking for the voice. You know who I saw?” They all shook their heads.
“Shelby.”
“She’s here?” Rick sat up quickly, but had to lean right back from the immediate head rush.
“She is, or she was. She’s gone now.”
“Oh my God, what did she say? Why didn’t you bring her back here?” Randy asked.
“She said she had to be somewhere. She wanted to come see everyone, but said she really had to go. I guess she lives here, anyway, she gave me this.” Keith again thumped the cassette on his knee. Without explaining the cassette any further, he continued, almost to himself, “I don’t know why she said she didn’t have time – she didn’t seem to be in any hurry to go anywhere. She talked to me for a long time.” Then he turned to Devon, “She said to tell you sorry you couldn’t make lunch today, and she hopes you can next time you’re in town. She also said to thank you for the tickets.”
Rick shook his head, trying to clear the drug-induced fog. He looked at Devon. “You were supposed to have lunch with her?”
“Yeah, but we got in late, so I had to cancel.”
“You knew she lived here? You never said anything.” Rick shook his head again. “I didn’t know you guys kept in touch.” He stared at Devon in disbelief. He couldn’t get his mind around the idea that Devon had anything to do with Shelby beyond Paros.
“We write and call each other once in a while.” Devon nodded toward the cassette Keith held and grinned mischievously. “Is that the new Sarah Miles album?”
Keith laughed and handed the tape to Devon. “No surprises for you, I guess.”
Devon opened the tap
e and pulled out the inset. He unfolded it, looked it over, and handed it to Rick with a smile. “Take a look at the song writing credits.”
Rick, feeling much more sober and awake now, took the inset and read. After a minute of inspection, he said, “Holy shit, out of…” he counted, “eleven songs, five are Shelby’s.”
“What the fuck?” Randy said, reaching for the inset. “She’s just a kid, how the hell did she manage that? Last I heard she couldn’t even play.”
“I told you she was quick, and good,” Rick reminded him.
Devon smiled. “I guess she was pretty determined.”
“How did Sarah fucking Miles find her?” Randy asked. “I mean, that’s big time!”
Devon shook his head, still smiling, “It’s amazing what can happen when you know the right people.”
Keith grabbed the inset from Randy and the tape from Devon and began to reassemble the package. “She says she graduates tomorrow. We should stick around and go watch. We could fly out tomorrow night or the next day to Cincinnati and catch up with the bus.”
“Yes!” Rick almost shouted as he jumped up, onto wobbly legs. The other three looked at him in surprise. “We should,” he said, sitting back down with a little less excitement.
“Fine by me,” Devon agreed. “We really don’t need to be in Cincinnati for a couple of days. I’ll have Johnny book us a flight.”
Rick was surprised Devon wanted to stay – he was all about the schedule and usually the last one to break away from any routine. Rick reached over and pulled the tape from Keith’s hands. “I want to hear this tonight,” he said, sticking the cassette into his shirt pocket.
Later, as they entered the hotel, Keith said, “You know, Shelby is still wearing that silly necklace you gave her.”
Rick just smiled.
~
The four entered the stadium they played the night before apprehensively. They waited until twenty minutes after the time the commencement began to sneak in the back unnoticed. The floor of the arena, previously filled with screaming fans, now accommodated rows and of rows of chairs. The last three rows were mostly open, so they quietly slid into the back. The spectators were beginning to fidget, signaling that the commencement speaker needed to wrap things up.
As they took their seats, people in front of them turned to look, and a buzz slowly spread though the back of the crowd. Some people stood and took pictures of them, others smiled and waved, and eventually they all returned their attention to the graduates who walked on stage to accept their diplomas. Rick waited anxiously to hear Shelby’s name, but from their vantage point in the back, she would be little more than a discernible shape on the stage.
When the principal called her name and she walked on stage to take her scroll, the four of them stood, whooping and hollering. People in the rows ahead turned to stare. When she stepped off the stage, diploma in hand, they took their seats.
After the ceremony, people approached them for autographs and pictures. Rick politely posed for a dozen pictures and signed his name multiple times – until Devon grabbed his arm and pulled him out the doors of the arena. On their way out, Judy met them. She herded them off to the side and out of the crowd.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe you guys are here, I saw you from the balcony, and I just couldn’t believe it!” she said, once they were alone. She locked Rick in a warm embrace, then held him at arm’s length and looked him over. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you in one piece. We were so worried about you after your accident.” She let him go and hugged the others, but came back to Rick. “Do you know that Shelby actually wanted to get on a plane and go see for herself that you were okay? Of course, we told her absolutely not, that the last thing you needed was a pesky kid bugging you in your condition.”
Rick didn’t remember Judy being quite as bubbly as she was acting. She talked nonstop, and no one could get a word in edgewise. The only thing that stopped her rambling was Larry’s arrival.
“It was you guys we saw. Judy said it was, but I said ‘no, it can’t be.’ Is this just a big coincidence, or did you guys plan it this way?”
Rick was on the verge of answering that it was just a lucky coincidence, but the words stuck in his throat as he began to wonder himself. The dates had oddly changed mid-tour, which was very unusual. Rick turned to Devon with his eyebrows raised and waited for him to answer the question.
“It was a little planned,” Devon admitted. “Shelby sent an invitation, and I knew we would be in the vicinity.”
Rick chuckled to himself, and wondered how Devon managed to keep so many secrets. Someone else would have let something slip somewhere along the line: the Sarah Miles album, Shelby living in Indianapolis, her graduation, hell, even the cancelled lunch date. Devon never said a word to anyone, and poor Keith thought it was his idea to stay for the graduation.
“You have to come to the house,” Judy insisted. “We’re having a little party for Shelby right after this and you guys have to come over.”
Rick, Keith, and Randy all looked to Devon to answer for them as he seemed to be running the show.
“Of course we’ll come,” he replied. “We wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Judy prattled on endlessly during the ride to their house. Larry and the others took the limo, but Judy insisted Rick ride with her. He gripped the door handle as Judy slipped in and out of lanes, ran stop signs and red lights, oblivious to the angry horns and middle fingers she left behind.
She talked about her job, Larry’s job, Shelby’s schooling and song writing. Rick learned Shelby planned to return to Greece within the next week to take up permanent residence. “She says that’s where she has the strongest inspiration for her music, but personally, I think you were her strongest inspiration. I don’t know if you know this or not, but Shelby had the biggest crush on you back then.”
The statement surprised Rick. Seeing the shock on his face, Judy continued, “It’s true. I know, we all thought it was Randy she had a thing for, but now I’m sure it was you. And I know that’s why she never lets us see any of your letters.”
Letters? I never sent any letters. What the hell is she talking about?
“She took it really hard when we first heard about the accident, thinking you were dead and all.” Judy paused, as though giving respect to his narrow escape from death. He wondered long ago if her experience was the same as Erin’s, hearing initial reports of his death before learning he’d survived. The thought of Shelby hearing the news tore at his heart.
Finally, Judy added, “You don’t have to worry though, I’m sure she’s over you by now. It has been nearly two years, after all.” Rick nodded, but felt a little disappointed.
“I honestly do believe it was you who started the fire that consumed her, though. After you guys left, she threw herself into learning the guitar. That’s all she did, about the only time she ever left the house was to visit Erin – we never had to ground her again. When we came back to the States, she decided to teach herself piano, and she threw herself into that. She was obsessed.” Judy was quiet for a moment, and suddenly pulled the car over and stopped. She turned to face him and said, “Ricky, I’ve wanted to apologize to you for a long time now.”
“Apologize for what?”
“What I said to you the first time we met. Do you remember?”
Rick nodded. How could her forget the lonely comment? It sent him into a tailspin, and subsequently, into Shelby’s company. Judy continued, “I had no right, and I’m not sure where it came from. I saw how it affected you, but I didn’t say anything to explain myself or soften it, and I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You were right, I was lonely. I’d just never taken the time to think about it before.”
Judy smiled at him sympathetically, then threw the car into gear and sped off again.
Unable to stop himself, Rick blurted, “Judy, are you on something?”
She threw her head back and laughed. �
�My doctor has me on uppers. I tend to get the blues sometimes. Do you want one?” She felt around for her purse.
“No, but thanks. I’m on pain pills, and I don’t think mixing the two would be a good idea.”
“Wanna swap some?” she asked hopefully. When Rick shook his head, she dropped the idea and continued to talk about her blues until they reached their destination.
~
Their modest house, exactly what Rick would expect from Larry and Judy, reflected their tastes and personalities. The walls showcased Larry’s paintings from end to end, except one corner by a window facing west. The spot gave special sanctuary to Morgan’s Sunset in the West. Rick chuckled and wondered if it had been a gift or a purchase.
The gathering was a small one, just some neighbors, Larry’s brother and his wife. A sign hung across the back porch, spelling out CONGRATULATIONS GRADUATE. They expected Shelby’s arrival soon, and Rick wandered around the house in aimless anticipation. He couldn’t remember being so excited, and no conversation could hold his focus, all he could think about was seeing her.
On the way, Judy told him that Shelby was to leave the ceremony with friends, stop off at another party – just to make an appearance – and then come home to her own party. “She doesn’t know you guys are still here so it will be a huge surprise when she sees you.” He was glad Shelby was unaware – he suspected that had she known, she might stay away from her own party. If the night before told him anything, it was that she was not eager to see him.
Devon startled him from his anxiety-filled reverie, and joined his inspection of Larry’s paintings.
“You okay with all this?”
“Huh? Oh yeah, I’m fine. I took some Tylenol this morning and so far I feel great.”
“Good, good, but that’s not what I meant.”