“So did you think about performing with the band, honey?”
“You only suggested it this morning, Carly. Give me some time.”
“You don’t have a lot of time. We’ll be rehearsing full out for the concert starting tomorrow.”
“I don’t know, Carly.”
“Quit trying to avoid the question.”
“What question?” Joe asked as he came into the kitchen. He started opening cupboards then closing them.
Mandy glared at her mother and shook her head. Meanwhile, Joe kept opening and closing cabinets.
“Joe, what the hell are you looking for?”
“Snacks. Chips. Anything. We’re getting hungry out there.”
“You just ate an hour ago.”
“Snacks are required for a game. It wouldn’t be a game without it.”
“Oh good grief.” She grabbed him by the hand and pulled open a door, flipping on the light switch. “Welcome to the pantry. This is where that sort of stuff is located. I keep the dishes in the kitchen.”
“Oh, thanks.”
When he came back out of the pantry with several bags of chips in hand, he glanced back and forth between the three females.
“What was the question Mandy is avoiding?” he asked Carly, who smiled. Mandy shook her head. Her mother opened her mouth then closed it. “Well?”
Carly paused as Joe headed for the kitchen door. Finally she shook her head. Mandy breathed a sigh of relief until Maria spoke.
“Carly has suggested that Mandy would do well performing with your band. What do you think, son?”
He froze at the door and turned around. His face lit up. “Really, angel? You’d join us?”
“Oh God.” She sat down at the table and glared at Maria. Her mother-in-law shrugged.
“Which means what?” he asked.
“I still have stage fright. It’s really bad, Joe.”
“We can all help you. Support you. You know, a band is family. We would never leave you hanging. If you forgot the words or had fears, we’d be there to back you up.”
“I wouldn’t want to upset Sharon and Tom.”
“Now I call bullshit on that one.”
“Carly!” Mandy cried, shocked to hear her mother swear.
“Well, it is. Sharon and Tom have asked you to come back a number of times. I know they have.”
Mandy frowned, clenching her fingers. Joe came over to her and set the bags of chips on the table. He crouched at her side and took her hands in his.
“Angel, I know you’re scared, but I believe in you. Why not try it? Just once.”
“Rehearsal drives me nuts. I had to leave when you guys were practicing.”
Joe grinned. “I am kind of exacting. Eddie rides me about it.”
“You are. There were a couple of times that I would have wanted to smack you.”
“I just want us to be the best.” He shrugged.
“Lighten up. Just a little.”
“If it will encourage you to try. I’ll do it. Please, Mandy. Face your fear. I’ll be there with you.”
“I don’t think I can do a whole concert.”
“Then join us for one set to start.” Joe paused and considered a minute. “The third set is still pretty fluid. We could add some solos for you and maybe you and I could sing a duet or two.” Mandy bit her lip. “And you wouldn’t have to hang out for the entire rehearsal if you’re only performing in one set.”
His warm brown eyes pleaded until finally, Mandy couldn’t say no anymore. Her gut tightened with terror but she caved.
“Oh all right. But only one set.” She shuddered even as Joe gathered her up and gave her a big hug. “There’s only two days to rehearse.”
“You’ll be fine, angel. And I’ll be there to keep you safe.”
“Keep me safe, yeah. But who’s going to stop me from throwing up?”
Chapter Sixteen
The following two days were rehearsal and more rehearsal. Practice and more practice. Even Maria got into the act by giving her some impromptu voice lessons. Mandy didn’t know whether to kill Joe or not because he was a harsh taskmaster, but part of her loved the process. Enjoying the music. Joe was right about her. Music was in her soul.
At first, they’d just sat around and played. Picking her songs. She could handle that easily, but then Joe told her to stand up front and sing as if they had an audience. It wasn’t a jam session anymore. And the fear grew. With each practice. With all the long hours and each voice lesson. It gnawed at her gut because she realized she was really going to do this. She would get on stage with the band and perform in front of a live audience. And Joe had her placed up front beside him. She wasn’t hiding in the back with Tom and the drum kit, or protected by keyboards. No, she was hands-free and at Joe’s side.
“Can I at least have a tambourine?”
“That’s a cliché, Mandy. All those female singers with a tambourine.”
“I’d feel like Stevie Nicks, you know?”
Joe laughed. “Stevie usually holds a mike, angel. Go with that.”
“You’ve got me using this head set.”
She waved at the microphone she was wearing on her head. He nodded and without another word, he took it off her and set up a mike stand and gave her a hand-held mike.
“Try this. It will give you something to do with your hands. Remember, this first concert, you only have to worry about one set.”
“A set that’s mostly me,” she muttered.
“Yeah, it is. But I think you can do it.” He looked at Sharon and Tom. “What do you guys think?”
“She was always good with us. We missed her,” Tom said.
“Even Red missed her.” Sharon laughed. “And you know what he was like, Mandy.”
She laughed. Red liked being stage center. Right up front. And he didn’t like to share, but he’d willingly shared the stage with her. He’d been the Steven Tyler of the group. His voice was his instrument and he had a stage presence the rest of them had often envied.
Mandy clutched the mike as Joe started rehearsal again, playing the intro for one of the songs she was going to sing. She missed the entrance when Leo and Maria slipped into the room. Joe stopped playing and the rest stopped with him.
“Let’s try it again,” he growled. “You know your cue, Mandy. So sing out.”
He started again and Maria nodded at her, smiling gently. This time Mandy caught the entrance. She glanced at Leo but she couldn’t read him, so she closed her eyes.
Joe stopped playing and everyone dropped out. She turned to glare at him. “What?”
“Sing like you mean it. I know you can. Lose this tentative shit.”
“But…”
“Okay, turn around and face me.”
“But…” She waved at his parents.
“They aren’t your audience. Not right now. I am. Sing directly to me. Only to me. Don’t look at anyone else. Don’t think about anyone else. Sing. To. Me.”
He counted it off and started the intro again. Mandy wet her lips and swallowed, but she stared at Joe. He looked up when she was supposed to come in and she did. As she sang to her mate, he smiled. Encouragement on his face. He nodded at her. He leaned forward, got into his playing, so Mandy walked over to him and started to flirt.
After all, he’d picked love songs or sexy songs for her, not the rock music they usually played. She could sing these songs to Joe and mean every word. And she did. As they practiced, she focused on him, loosening up. Her natural performance skills kicked in and the fear started to recede. At least a little.
When she finished, he gave her a hug. “That was great. Now let’s do it again. You need to work on your phrasing. Eddie, give her some tips. You’re always really good with that.”
From then on, she was in the band. With the same critiques and praise as the rest. And she found that she thrived on it. She wanted to improve. She wanted to make them all proud. But the fear grew. It ate at her. Even when she wasn’t practicing with t
hem.
They practiced all morning, but she slipped out right after lunch. She took her camera and headed out on her own to get away from everyone. No matter what she did, the concert loomed in her mind. She couldn’t escape it. The fear unsettled her. Distracted her. She came back in the afternoon and they practiced her set again but she blew every song. Over and over until Joe was exasperated. He took off his guitar and glared at her.
“I’m scared, okay?”
“You’re letting your fear rule you. Own you. You’re better than that, angel.”
“You’ve never been afraid like this.”
“Like hell. When I first started playing in bands I was terrified every single time I strapped on my guitar. I was sure I sounded like shit. When the audience didn’t jeer me, I was shocked. I just knew I was the worst player out there.”
“You?”
“Yeah, me.”
“So how did you get over it?”
“I faced it. And I kept doing it. There were times I sucked. Times I screwed up. I’d forget the words. Forget the guitar licks.”
“Did you get booed?”
“A few times. And those were inspirational.”
“How could getting booed possibly be inspirational?” She put her hands on her hips and glared at him.
“Because those boos inspired me to never let it happen again. And the negative responses got less and less. And the cheers grew. And I ate those up. They felt good. Fed my ego. Until I craved them.”
“I had it and lost it,” Mandy sighed, looking down.
He tipped up her chin. “But you have it in your power to get it back. And it is in your power. Your control. All you have to do is face down your fear, Mandy. Dig deep.” She knew she could do it. She could sing. But what if she forgot the words. He stroked her cheek. “If you forget the words, we’re all here. We will never leave you hanging. Ever.”
“You’ll start singing with me?”
“Yup. And we’ll improvise something. Don’t worry, angel. Trust me.”
She walked into his arms. Enclosed in his warmth, she felt safe. Protected. Loved. She nodded. “I’ll try.”
“Remember what Yoda said, angel.”
She laughed. “Do or do not. There is no try.”
“Right. So do it.”
She nodded and they went back to practicing. Mandy forced the fear down and the rehearsal improved. She hit her songs and even managed to move around a bit. Feel a little more natural. When they finished her part of the rehearsal, she left, determined to shake off her dread and relax a little, so she grabbed her camera again. Solitude and nature. It helped.
Joe watched Mandy walk away with a frown. Was he pushing her too hard? He knew she could do this but the anxiety was so deeply ingrained that he felt like a bully every time he pushed her. He looked up when Eddie clapped him on the shoulder.
“We made a huge mistake with her when we didn’t press her to perform again after that bad day. I know you feel like shit, but you’re doing the right thing.”
“Are you sure? She’s terrified and no matter what I do, I can’t get her to relax.”
“She won’t, honey,” Carly assured him. “Not until she performs. Once she’s out there, she’ll relax and you’ll be amazed.” Carly and Eddie exchanged a smile.
“How so?”
Sharon laughed. “She’s got star quality and she’s every bit as wild on stage as Red ever was.”
Joe glanced at Tom when he chuckled. “It used to freak Eddie out. She always looked older than she was and she’d act like Madonna. Strutting. Challenging every male in the audience with her femininity. Guys twice her age would hit on her. We’d have to hold the old wolves off.”
“What did Mandy do about it?”
“She laughed,” Eddie groaned. “She never knew how sexy she was and she’s a born flirt, just like her mama.”
Carly slugged his shoulder. “I am not.”
“When you’re performing you are, and she’s just like you.”
“So she slept around a lot?”
“Ah, hell no,” Eddie growled.
“No. She never went off with anyone and she let Eddie, Tom and Red protect her. But she just has this…presence when she performs. You’ll see,” Carly assured him.
“Is it like she is with the family?”
“Yes, honey.”
He gave them all a look of extreme disbelief.
“Carly’s right,” Tom assured him. “Just wait. Mandy can hold an audience the way you can. She’s that damn good.”
They went back to rehearsing but Joe kept their words in the back of his mind. Hopeful. That evening, they all took a break from rehearsing. The males watched football while the females played a game of cut-throat Scrabble in the kitchen, but Joe couldn’t keep his mind off Mandy.
When she’d come back to the house she’d smelled so good. It must have been the mountain air that clung to her, but he loved her smell. Not only that but it turned him on. He’d had to fight his hunger to grab her and drag her off to the bedroom. If he did what he wanted to do, she’d get pissed. She’d been super touchy all day. Thrown off because of the concert hanging over her head.
“You cheated!” Mandy yelled. Joe sat up and looked through the kitchen archway.
“I did not. You’re overly emotional, my dear. It’s a perfectly good word.” His mother sounded reasonable, but a bit strained.
“I don’t care. That’s not right.” Mandy’s voice rose. Something was wrong. He didn’t know what, but something. Losing her temper like that didn’t feel like normal behavior for his mate.
He rose and went to the kitchen. Mandy stood up and grabbed the board, flipping it over. His jaw dropped. What the fuck?
“Your mother cheats,” she glared at him.
“She’d never cheat, angel.” He felt all the other males walk up behind him.
“Oh shit,” Eddie groaned. Joe glanced at his father-in-law.
“What?”
“We’ve got to go. We can probably find a place to go out to for supper.”
“I don’t want to go out for supper,” Mandy yelled.
“No, you aren’t going to join us, punkin. No way.”
“Why the hell not?”
His brothers walked into the kitchen and went directly to Mandy. Jake touched her arm and Joe growled. Both of his brothers started to crowd her. Julian leaned forward and breathed in, his eyes closing.
“Get away from her.”
Maria stared at her sons and groaned, “Oh dear.” She glanced at Leo. He shook his head.
“I’m not up to dragging them off, Maria. I’m not that young anymore.”
Carly blinked. “But. She’s not due yet.”
“Due for what, Mother?” Mandy glanced at Julian and turned to Joe, smiling at her mate in invitation.
“You’re in heat.”
“No, I can’t be. I’m not due until next week sometime.”
“How do you know?” Joe asked.
“I’m pretty regular. I experienced heat just a few weeks ago.”
“With Zach.”
“He was handy.” She shrugged.
His brothers moved closer and she giggled as Jake nipped her earlobe. “Well my brothers aren’t. You both get the fuck away from her.”
“She smells good,” Jake purred, leaning in to sniff her neck.
“Oh lord, this is not good,” Eddie muttered.
“At least Zach isn’t here too,” Carly agreed.
“He’d better not show up or I’ll rip out his throat,” Joe snarled.
“Joe!” Mandy cried. “Zach is my friend.”
“I don’t care. He’d better stay far away from you.” He crossed the room and caught both his brothers by the arm, dragging them away from his mate. “Back off.”
They both turned to Mandy again and she shivered and stretched. Sexy and sinuous. Joe pushed Jake away but Julian headed for her. Joe grabbed his younger brother too.
He growled and they growled back. Neither
of them had challenged his dominance in years, not since they were pups. It pissed him off. He elbowed Jake in the gut and he grunted, throwing a punch at Joe. He ducked but it was close.
“Not in the house. If you’re going to fight, go outside,” Carly ordered. “Eddie. Leo. At least shove them at the door.”
Both the older males groaned and Leo colored. “Unfortunately, your daughter’s scent is appealing to me as well.” He glanced at Maria. “I apologize, liebling.”
Maria sighed. “It’s biological. Just get those boys out the back door.”
Joe growled as Eddie and his father shoved him and his brothers toward the porch. He tried to slip away and grab Mandy, but Jules caught his arm so that he was pushed outside too. He tugged his arm away from Julian but when he went for the door, Jake tackled him and they fell off the porch and rolled around in the snow. He sprang to his feet and went for the door again but Jules tripped him. Jules headed for the house as Mandy came out the door. Her scent broadcast on the breeze and he snarled. Intelligent thought was gone. All he wanted was to mount his bitch and keep the other wolves away from her.
He bounced to his feet and punched Jules. “You stay away from my bitch.”
“She’s not yours yet. You haven’t mated her.”
Jake tried to get around him while he was occupied with Jules. He grabbed his brother’s shirt and dragged him back, kicking him.
“Stop them.” He heard Mandy yell.
“They’re challenging Joe for you, honey. It’s out of our hands.”
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mandy lunge toward him but Carly and Maria both caught her and held her tight. She struggled to get to him, but they wouldn’t let her go.
“She’s my True Mate and you both know it.” He stood his ground glaring at his brothers. They should know better, damn it.
Jules peeled off his shirt and Jake did the same. When they’d stripped, they shifted. Joe snarled. Those bastards. He was going to crush them. A haze of red covered his vision and he stripped, shifting without thought. He went after Jake first, knocking his paws out from under him. Julian started a low stalk toward Mandy. Joe howled a formal challenge. Jules froze and turned his head. He lifted his muzzle and howled a response. Joe growled. He’d have to take on both his brothers and defeat them so he could mate Mandy.
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