by Calinda B
“Are you going to keep going there?” I ask. My stupid chin actually quivers as I say this. I don’t know why this disturbs me so much. Okay, yes, you do. You love the guy. Say it. I push my pesky thoughts aside.
“No,” Rafe says flatly. “You provide calm and sustenance. And something else. I never dreamed I’d be with someone like you, let alone love you.”
He’s looking at me again with the same intensity when he was telling me he’d never hurt me. “What is it that being with me provides?” I ask.
“You know what it is. I told you, I love you, Marissa Engles. And yes, I’m well aware that the sentiment has not left your lips.”
“I…there’s still Daniel. I’m torn.”
“Yes, there’s still Daniel hiding in the dark. I told you, I’ll share if he will. Not that he deserves the sharing.” Rafe shoves away the covers and sits up. “I also told you I was going to take you to him. I found the trail when I was following Armando’s steps.” He reaches for his pants, yanks them on, and proceeds to stalk across my room for the door.
“Wait! Rafe!”
“What for? We have a job to do. Let’s do it.”
Gone is the soft, loving Rafe. He’s been coopted by the trained killer. “Wait,” I call again. But Rafe is already heading toward the stairs. I was going to tell him that I love him. I really was. The words were right there on the tip of my tongue. “You do not get to stalk away from me, Rafe!” I race after him and grab his arm.
“Don’t I?” His eyes are full of fire. “We have a job to do, Miss Engles.”
“No! I didn’t plan for this…this…” I gesture wildly between him and me, practically spitting the words out. “This, whatever it is!” I fling my hands in the air. “And you knew…you knew I’m soul bound to Daniel when you met me. You told me as much. Don’t go stomping off thinking I’m being unfair.” My chest heaves as my temper increases. “I had no intention of having sex with you.”
“You know you wanted it. Don’t pretend you didn’t.”
He’s practically bellowing. I’m sure the whole house can hear us.
“Are you done feeling all ‘poor me, I had no intentions of fucking the Stealth Numen? Poor me, the Night Numen bound me without my consent? Poor, poor me.’ You’re a fucking powerful female. Probably one of the most powerful females around. Don’t go all playing the victim with me, you hear?” His hands launch into the air, fingers splayed, emphasizing his words.
“Oh, I hear you, alright. I don’t need a therapist right now, thank you very much.” Inside, I think he’s right. But now is not the moment for true confessions. I’m pissed.
“How do you think I feel? I never fell in love for a reason, Marissa. It makes life complicated. I can’t afford to have complications in my life. I should just walk away from this and go back to life as I know it. No restraints, no emotional entanglement. But no…I’m the jackass who falls in love with someone who’s bound to one of the deadliest men alive, next to me, that is. He just gets all the credit.” His eyes narrow as he says this. “Good job, Rafe, I keep telling myself. Great work! Way to go, jackass!”
Rafe’s chest is working up and down, too. Sweat is trickling down the side of his face and neck. We both glare at one another.
“Is that what you’re going to do? Stalk off into your wonderful Land of Shadows, the world between the worlds? Go ahead. I’ve been messed with before. I can take it.”
“I’m sure you can.” His fingertips curl and uncurl. The vein at his neck pumps blood like a high-speed steam engine. His mouth works like he’s biting back an onslaught of angry words.
I’m starting to wonder if it’s such a great idea pissing off the Stealth Numen, a deadly guy known for his aggression. “You can’t argue with the heart,” I say turning away from him.
“No. It seems you can’t.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t say it before,” I tell the wall.
“Say what?”
“That I…” I stare at the floor. I incline my head, take a huge breath, and look up at him through my lashes. “That I’ve fallen in love with you, too.” My face reddens.
A great sigh leaves his lips.
I lift my eyes to meet his, straight on. “Are those tears?” I ask, amazed.
“I sure hope not.” He swipes his eyes with his hand. “Marissa, did you really say what I think I heard?”
“I said ‘I love you.’” Tears fill my eyes, now, too. “It scares me, but it’s true.”
“Yeah, well it scares the shit out of me,” Rafe says in a rough voice. “My whole life, I’ve longed to hear those words. I never dreamed that they’d come my way. Now that they’re out there, I’m even more freaked.” His voice cracks, and he turns his face away from me.
He seems to be collecting himself from whatever hole he thinks he’s fallen into. I stand, tense, waiting.
“Come here,” he says, turning to face me.
I take a couple steps closer to him, and he wraps me tightly in his arms.
“I think we’re both a couple of fools, but that isn’t going to stop me from getting as close as I can for as long as I can. I’m just going to take this as a gift of some sort and see where it leads. That’s what I do…follow trails to see where they lead.”
He squeezes me so hard I can barely breathe. “Rafe,” I say, pushing slightly at his chest for some air.
“Shhh,” he says. “We’ve said enough. No more words. Right now, we’ve got a hot trail to follow. Let’s get out there before it grows cold.”
Chapter 28
Rafe and I have packed everything we need for our journey. He told me it could be days, weeks, or months in Earth time until we arrive at the space where Daniel resides. In his perception of time, it shouldn’t be long, or so he says. He says this with a wink, and I wonder if he’s kidding around. But it doesn’t matter. Since we went through whatever we just went through - the sex and the scary trust test and the yelling - there’s a new bond forged between us. I like it.
We’re both dressed in camo pants and black tank tops. He’s assured me that wherever we’re going there will be no need for clothes, but I’ve insisted on wearing something.
“Pity,” he says to me as I utter my last protest. “I would’ve enjoyed the view.”
“We wouldn’t have gotten very far.”
“No shirts at least?”
“Rafe!” I protest. Secretly, I’m pleased. I like that he finds me so sexy.
I’ve tucked Gabriela’s ring into my backpack without letting Rafe see it in case we run into Armando. I shrug the army green knapsack on my shoulders. My long dagger, or short sword - or, Naked Truth, as I’ve named it, because it allows me to carve away chaos and reveal the truth - is by my side.
As we make our way outside, two cats approach us, meowing loudly. “I didn’t know there were any cats here,” I say to Rafe.
“They could be feral,” he responds. He cocks his head and studies them. “But I doubt it.” His eyes are narrowed as he regards the cats. He tips his head back and takes a few sniffs. “These cats smell like they’ve been perfumed or something. What do you get?”
I close my eyes and take a couple of sniffs. “Yeah. Cheap perfume. A bitter smell, too, like they’ve been abused or mistreated. And there’s something there I can’t quite discern.”
“Yeah, I get the same.”
The pair of chestnut-colored felines rubs up against Rafe’s and my calves. I’m instantly uneasy. “Shoo! Go away!” I stomp and wave my hands. The cats run away a short distance and watch us.
Sober runs up to greet us. He’s got a new canine companion by his side. Carlos told me that’s his dog, Daisy. “You watch yourself,” I tell my dog. “You don’t want to get any girls pregnant.” He wags his tail. When Daisy trots off, he jumps to attention and follows. “Do you think the cats are farm hands, as in, the work of Armando?” I ask, as we trudge down the road. I don’t see the cats anywhere in sight.
“Nah. I don’t think so. Armando only changed thei
r heads. It was meant as a warning. Changing two workers into cats wouldn’t instill the same kind of fear among the others if it wasn’t noticed, and no one has come in screaming, thank God.” He says this last bit with a smirk. “I would not have appreciated any interruptions in the last 24 hours.” He reaches out to take my hand and gives it a squeeze.
We walk along the dirt road for a while, hand in hand, like two lovers out for a stroll. When we reach the very edge of the property, he turns in a circle cautiously, scanning right and left, up and down. “Ready?” he whispers.
“Yes,” I whisper.
His hands look like they’re parting a curtain. “After you,” he says, indicating the blurry space revealed before me.
I slip into the Shadow Lands, and Rafe follows me. Something like a breeze or a wisp of fabric being dragged across my calf follows. “What was that?”
“What was what?” Rafe is busy closing the opening. When he’s done he turns to me. “What was what?” he asks again.
“I don’t know. It could be nothing. I just thought I felt something brush my legs.”
Rafe’s eyes become trained lasers as he scans the surroundings. “I don’t see anything. I can’t sense anything. What do you get?”
I open my senses, close my eyes and scan. “I don’t get anything either. Maybe we’re both paranoid.”
“Maybe, but we should keep our eyes open just in case.” He heads off in a northerly direction.
We’re wandering through the strangest, most misshapen, topsy-turvy world I’ve ever seen. We’ve been in here for hours, or so it seems. Maybe we’ve been in here for a few seconds. Everything’s distorted in the Shadow Lands, but something about it looks familiar. “This reminds me of that dream I told you about.”
“Does it?” Rafe says.
There’s something a little too innocent about his demeanor that makes me suspicious. “What are you keeping secret?”
“What do you mean?” He pushes aside a large, warped branch and steps aside for me to move past him.
“What do you mean, what do I mean? I asked what you’re keeping secret. It’s a pretty straightforward question.”
“I’m pleading the fifth.”
“And I’m withholding favors.”
He makes a strangled sound behind me. “Not fair! We just got to the good stuff. Okay, Light Rebel. It wasn’t a dream.”
I whirl to face him. “We really played all night in your warped world?”
“Yup.” His face looks a little sheepish. “We did. I did it on impulse.” He glances away from me. “Once I got my needs met, I was feeling playful. That seldom happens. In fact, I can’t remember the last time that happened. You, er, seem to bring that out in me.” He mumbles the last sentence like it pained him to say that.
“Well, it was fun, at least the parts I can remember.”
“I’m glad.” His face is now beet red. “Now can we get a move on? We’ve got quite a distance to travel.”
“Okay, okay,” I say, taking the lead. We’ve shared the lead throughout our journey so far. He hasn’t once whined about me claiming Chiara, or seemed perturbed in the least that I hold the Naked Truth. It’s kind of refreshing. Daniel had a problem sharing power.
I’ve been making endless comparisons as we’ve trudged along. Daniel does this…Rafe does this…Daniel is good at this…Rafe excels at that… It’s like I’m preparing for that fateful moment when I have to make a choice. Truth is, I love them both and don’t want to have to make a choice. “What’s that?” I say, tensing, listening. “Did you hear that?”
“Yes,” Rafe whispers. “I did.”
We both stand rigid, ears alert, sensing but nothing else greets our eyes, ears, or inner knowing so we continue on the trail.
“So what’s this trail that we’re following?” I ask.
“You’re kidding, right?” Rafe scoffs. “Didn’t you memorize Daniel’s essence?”
Shame rolls up my neck and colors my face. He’s right. I should have known. I’ve been so enamored of Rafe that I haven’t paid attention to the smell we’re following. It’s a distinctive blue, earthy smell, peppered with fragrant green plant smells, and deep, dark beckoning. There’s a distinct accent of metal. It’s the smell of danger, earth, and endless, long, lingering pleasure. Its life and death rolled into one. I’m embarrassed that I haven’t caught on until now. I clear my throat. “Uh, yeah, you’re right. It is Daniel.” I hurry along, glad Rafe can’t see my face.
A rustling in the warped branches catches my notice again. “There it is again,” I whisper. “Something’s following us.”
“Already on it,” Rafe says. He pulls a grenade looking thing out of his pack, pulls the pin out, and tosses it into the foliage.
We crouch and cover our ears as a sharp explosion of sound and light bursts into the air. Two frightened meowing howls follow. The chestnut-colored cats hurl through the air, their tails as fat as raccoons.
Rafe plucks one from mid-flight and holds it by the scruff of the neck.
I bend down and haul up the other one. “Look at this.” I tap the kitty’s cheek with my finger. “AEN. These are Armando’s pets.”
“So it seems,” Rafe replies. He swings his back and forth.
Both cats bat the air wildly and hiss at us.
“Want to go for a ride, little kitty?” Rafe tosses his in the air and catches it deftly by the tail. The cat screeches and yowls as Rafe twirls it a few times.
“Hey! Be nice to animals!” I protest.
“Don’t worry, darlin’. I have nothing but respect for the animal kingdom in its true form. Care to reveal yourself?” he asks the cat after he’s done messing with it. “See what you can do, Light Rebel.”
I don’t really know if we’re dealing with male or female cats so I start with the faces. I erase their cat heads with my mind and start to paint human. Two pretty Brazilian faces appear before our eyes. The one Rafe tossed sports extremely messy, windswept hair. I leave the cat bodies alone. The heads are too heavy for the tiny cat bodies to hold up so the human heads flop on the ground, weighing down the feline part.
One of the heads spews a torrent of curses and cries in Portuguese.
Rafe laughs. “You’ve got quite the potty mouth. Care to speak in English so the Light Rebel can understand you? You do speak in English, don’t you?”
Cat one splutters. “Yes. I speak English.” She spits at my feet, or she tries to at least. With her head lying on its side on the ground, the spit doesn’t get too far. “You’re the demon witch Armando wants. He turned us into cats to track you.”
“He also branded you,” I say, noting the scar on her cheek. “He’s the one to be afraid of, not me.” I paint her back legs into human legs. Now she’s got a human head, a teensy kitty torso and front paws, and human legs. It’s quite disconcerting.
She leaps to her feet and tries to kick me, but the cat torso can’t hold the weight. She crumples to the ground screaming and screeching. “You bitch,” she says. “Turn me back to myself.”
“Ah, ah, ah,” I say calmly. I paint the cat legs back amidst her screams and curses. “Oops,” I say.
“Part Siamese now, huh?” Rafe chuckles.
“I always did like Siamese cats. These can be Chocolate Point Long Hairs.”
“Those are pretty little cats.” Rafe nods while he parts the curtain between the Shadow Lands and normal Earth life. “There’s the door. You can see yourselves out. Or I can assist you with my boot.”
“Wait!” the other cat cries. “Lina, we can’t go back like this. We’re freaks,” she says to her friend. “Talk to them. Tell them what they want to hear.”
“They’ll kill us anyway,” Lina shrieks.
The two proceed to argue until Rafe plants his boot on one of the women’s cheeks. “Enough! I’m ready to leave you right now. You either tell us what you know, or we leave you here to rot as two very top heavy mongrels.”
“Armando made us follow you. He beat us and turned us in
to cats. He told us to follow you and see where you went. We were only doing it to stay alive.”
“I see. And yet your chances are still slim that you’ll live. Like you said, we could kill you right here, right now.”
I glance over at Rafe. He’s not kidding. Deciding to play along, I quickly mouth my secret phrase and extract the Naked Truth from my side. This is so much easier than having to paint it from scratch each time, I think, pleased.
Both women’s eyes become very, very wide. “See?” hisses Lina. “I told you she was a witch!”
“Quiet!” I crouch and extend the needle sharp point toward Lina’s cheek. “This blade is sure deadly.” I press it just enough to draw a bead of blood. “I could carve my initials over Armando’s. Mine would be prettier. M. M. E. for Marissa Micalita Engles. I would make mine bigger. I could give them swirls. I’m an artist, see, and I love to make things pretty. You’d forget all about those other teensy, tiny initials.” I draw my dagger ever so slightly downward, making one side of an M. I flick the end of the blade, adding a flourish to my stroke. “Hmm, I’ve got an idea, Rafe.”