by Calinda B
He grabs my wrists. “Darlin’, stop this. It’s the only way I can see.” He takes my face and presses soft kisses on my wet eyelids, my tear-stained cheeks, my nose. He kisses my lips, hungrily.
I melt into his mouth, feeding my own hunger. I need this, too. Rafe gives me something that no one else does. Daniel gives me something that no one else does. What am I going to do?
Finally, we wrench apart.
“There’s another way,” Gabriela says softly.
“What is it? I’ll do anything.”
“You know how you were not given proper training when you were supposed to?”
“How could I forget? At every turn, I learn about something that I should have known had I been properly prepared. Your ex-husband and my aunt made sure I was kept in the dark.”
“Yes.”
Gabriela looks so sad, I want to run over and hug her.
“That’s partly my fault. I had already left Armando. He was hurt and angry. He tried to take it out on Daniel by thwarting you two from meeting. Instead, he concocted a story about Josephina and pushed them together.”
“Yeah. I know the rest of that story.”
“I know.” She brushes a leaf from her lap. “Have you heard the story of where your dagger came from?”
“The Naked Truth? Yeah, Rafe told me. What about it?”
“Those female sorcerers - they’re alive, living in the depths of a treacherous realm. They guard secrets upon secrets upon secrets.” Her lips press together. “If anyone will know the answer, they’ll know it.”
“No,” Rafe says. “I won’t let her do that. I’m not worth the danger!”
“Rafe!” I hiss. “You once told me that no one gets to tell you who to love. Well, no one gets to guide my life ever again. It’s mine to live.” I turn to Gabriela. “So, what’s the danger?”
Gabriela’s face pulls into a grimace. “They’re vicious. Especially the three sisters you need to consult with. They’re far more fearsome than anyone you’ll ever encounter. They make Daniel’s skills look like a school boy’s. They make Maimers and Annihilators look like puppies.”
I swallow. “If they have answers, I’ll get them. What do I do?”
“You’ll have to prepare. You’ll have to train and grow strong before you can leave. You’ll have to train in magic arts.” Her mouth quirks into a funny smile. “You’ll have to train with both the Stealth Numen and the Night Numen. They each have skills that you’ll need to master to stand a chance.”
I nod, resolutely. “Then, let’s do it. I’m in if you’re in,” I say to Rafe.
“I don’t know.” He shakes his head.
“I’m going, Rafe. I need answers. Answers have been kept from me. Skills and knowledge have been kept from me. I’m not going to let this opportunity pass me by.”
His cheeks puff with air and he blows it out. “Goddamn it, Gabriela, why’d you have to tell her that?”
“Because it’s her right to find answers when she needs them.”
“Guess I’ll have to stick around, then.” He puts his hands on his hips. “I sure blew this job. I’m going to have to try to get back in good stead with this employer. He pays me well.” Another sigh leaves his mouth. “Okay, darlin’, if this is what you’re bound to do, I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”
“Oh, thank you!” I grab his face and kiss him full on the lips. When I release him, I’m grinning.
He rolls his eyes. “Women. Now I know even more why I refused to get involved with a woman before, aside from a good fuck to keep me going.” A small smile curves at the corner of his lips.
“You’ll see,” I say, full of eagerness. “I’ll come home with answers, and we’ll make this right.” I pause, my brow furrowing in concern. “What will you do without me? Will you go berserk again and try to kill me?”
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. This is all new terrain for me.” He looks to the sky again. “I can sure as hell tell you that I have no interest in going where you’re going.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because it’s far more fucked up than anything I’ve ever encountered.”
“Seriously?”
“So I’ve heard.”
“Is he right?” I ask Gabriela.
“You’ll have to find out for yourself, dear. Myths abound as to what it’s like to reach the sisters. There’s currently no one alive to tell of the journey. There was one gal back in the 1800s who made the trek and survived, but she died a short time after her return. She came back quite ill and delirious, and the truth was never extracted. Only her fevered ravings were recorded.”
“Oh, dear.”
“See what I mean? You can still reconsider, darlin’.”
I turn to Rafe and glare at him. “No! I’m going. This is part of my destiny!” I search his eyes with mine. “And if I can figure out how all of this works…” I gesture to him, to me, and point back indicating where Daniel is. “If I can figure this out, we’ll all be the better for it.” I study his face. “Your eye is swelling. And your cuts and contusions look like they’ll fester if they don’t get some care.”
He nods. “Okay, then.” He turns to Gabriela. “Why don’t you do your thing with me while Marissa talks it over with Daniel? He’s going to be none too pleased, I’m certain. I’ll need to be strong to face his ass, too.” He scoffs. “Jesus fucking Christ, Rafe. You know how to get yourself into some fine messes.”
“Don’t take the Lord’s name in vain, dear. He, like all the rest of the sacred deities, deserves to be referred to with respect.”
“Sorry, ma’am.” Rafe appears chagrined. “I’ll try to watch my language. I’m just not a believer like you.”
“I believe in many things - Jesus, Buddha, Allah, the Great Spirit - they’re all names for the One True Essence of Life. And right now, I choose to believe in you, Marissa. You’re going to need more than courage to get through this endeavor.”
I nod solemnly. “I am.” I brush off my jeans and face Rafe. “Come back and let’s start training ASAP.” I turn to Gabriela. “Thank you for alerting me. Thank you for telling me where I can go for answers.” I place my hands before my heart in a prayer position and nod my head.
She inclines hers at me.
“And now, I’ll face my other badass boyfriend, Daniel.” Without another word, I trudge away from them, searching for the blurry opening. When I find it, I stand before it, gathering courage to face him. Drawing in a big breath, I step through the warped opening and find my soul bound lover waiting for me on the other side.
Chapter 40
“You’re back,” Daniel says wearily. “How did it go?” He’s got nothing but pajama bottoms on and is resting atop the bed, looking bored, a book opened by his side.
He doesn’t fool me for a minute. I’ll bet he’s alternated between being pissed, being consternated, and being worried. “It went different than I expected.”
“Different how?”
“Well…” I saunter over to him, not sure of where to start. “It seems I’m in a bit of a mess.” I sit on the edge of the bed next to him and place my palm on his warm chest.
“Such as?”
“Don’t forget what you said to me before I left.”
“Which part?”
“Where you said that this would be here no matter what my decision.” I circle his chest with my fingertip. “I assumed that meant you’d still love me.”
His lips press into a crisp, hard line. “I did. And I mean it. I take it you made your decision?”
“Not exactly.”
He frowns. “You said you’d tell me when you got back.”
“And I will. But it’s a different decision that I thought I’d make. It’s not an either or.”
“Oh, right. I am not going to live peaceably here with you and Rafe. I am not going to listen to you two fucking, and I am also not going to have any three-ways with the two of you. Forget it.” He plucks my hand from his chest and drops it in
my lap. “That’s not what I expected of you.”
“That’s not what I was going to say,” I huffed, suddenly confused. Why things seem so clear until I get around this guy is beyond me. “Don’t go getting all prickly and possessive with me, Daniel Navid.”
“I’ll get prickly and possessive if I feel like it. You’re mine,” he snarls. “Not the Stealth Numen’s.”
“I’m my own person!” I yell back at him.
We’re both glaring at one another, angry. I take a deep breath and begin again. “I have to go away. I have to go on a journey to find answers.” I quickly look away from him.
He sits up, takes my chin in his hand, and turns my face to meet his. “What are you saying?”
“Rafe’s in love with me.” I try to look away, but he keeps my face held in place. “He…he…when he goes berserk, he wants to kill me. That’s one of the downsides to being in love, it seems, when you are a Stealth Numen.” I seem to be speed talking.
Daniel’s mouth drops open. His eyes look incredulous. “Are you fucking kidding me?” He releases my chin and flings his arm into the air. “Are you in love with him?”
“I am. I’m also in love with you,” I say quickly. “So I’m going to go find answers from the three sisters who forged my sword.”
“Oh, hell, no! You are not going there,” Daniel roars. “Whose fucking idea was that? His?”
“No! It was your mother’s!”
“My mother’s? My mom’s? Why would she do that?”
“Because she thought I deserved some answers, that’s why! Because I deserve to find the truth for myself for once! Everyone keeps trying to protect me from knowing things and then decisions are made and then I find out what the decisions mean and…” I pause, take a deep breath, and continue. “And I want to find my own truths, Daniel. I don’t want to be at the mercy of you or Rafe or anyone else.” Now I’m so pissed I’m shaking. “Don’t you see how important this is? I have to do this, Daniel. Please, please, support me in this.”
He stares at me for a long moment. His eyes blaze with blue fire and brilliant light. It’s as if a lightning storm is ensuing inside.
My own body is rather brilliant, too, if I do say so. It’s sparking and sputtering with arcs of rapid fire light. “Well?” I demand.
“Well?” he answers.
I let out a chuffing noise and turn away from him, exasperated.
As if we’ve both come to agreement at the exact same time, both of our lights calm to a soft glow.
“Okay, corazón,” he says tenderly. “Okay. When are you leaving?”
“Your mom says I have to train. I have to learn things from both you and the Stealth Numen. Don’t worry. I won’t go around fucking him behind your back,” I say, erupting in another burst of anger.
“Oh, that’s just fucking great,” Daniel sputters. “We’ll all be a cozy threesome.”
“This is training. For my life,” I say, jabbing my chest with my finger. “Me. Mine. Quit acting like a dick.”
“You think I’m acting like a dick? Me?”
We’re both confused. Both hurting. We need answers, and it seems as if I’m the one to go get them. I place my hands on his shoulders and speak more softly. “This is so I can be whoever I need to be for you, Daniel. We didn’t come together so we could be wrenched apart.”
“If you say so.” His face appears wounded, but resolute. “I doubt if this will be easy for any of us. I’m going to go crazy with worry while you’re away.”
Remember we can communicate mind to mind.
He smiles. Of course I remember. Who reminded you of that?
You did. Of course you’re essential to me. In more ways than one. I flash him a sly, sexy grin.
“Yeah, about that.” He gives me a mischievous grin in return. “I’ve got some ideas on how to return last night’s exchange.”
“I’m ready if you are?”
“Are you sure?”
“Oh, yeah, bring it, baby.”
“I might want to save it up for when you return. You know, sort of like a little carrot.” His tongue slides along his upper lip.
Oh, jeez, that gesture has me wired. It’s like it’s tied to a string in my core. “Suit yourself, hot stuff. There’s one very big carrot awaiting me right about now,” I say, palming the tent in his pants. “A very delicious carrot. What say you we feast a bit before beginning our training?”
We fall together like the lovers that we are, full of passion, fire, and light, all thoughts of the future pushed from our heads. We love one another with abandon. When we’re once more satisfied with one another, and the dawn light is peeking through the leaves, I’m listening to the thump, thump, thump of Daniel’s steady heartbeat, pulling me down into slumber. He’s got one arm wrapped around me, pulling me close. He’s snoring softly.
When I met Daniel, I used to be broken. When I was put in the mental hospital, the world around me thought I was broken. Now I know that I’m no longer broken. This man who rests beside me has helped me heal. Rafe has helped me heal. Gabriela, Crazy Betty, Tom, my dear dog Sober Dober - I owe endless gratitude to all of them for helping me find my way to this point in time. And I owe endless gratitude to myself for having the courage to live a full, passionate life and learn from life’s endless ups and downs.
I have no idea what awaits me. I have no clue where this so-called treacherous realm is. I have no idea whether I’ll live through my coming journey or be another of the three sister’s casualties. I only know that I intend to listen to this heartbeat beneath me for as long as the gods, goddesses, and whoever is listening and guiding me shall let me. And for now, in this moment, it’s enough. It is, after all, all I have. This one precious moment. And it’s mine, all mine.
Epilogue
The Numina gather in an emergency ether meeting. All around me there is chaos, confusion, outbursts, and pleas.
“This is unheard of, Light Rebel! Why are you doing this?”
“Your life will be in danger, child. Think again.”
“Let me tell you who to choose. I’m impartial. I can make a good choice for you.”
I want to shut out the cacophony of voices. I can’t think in here. I press my hands over my ears to shut them out.
“Quiet!” The voice of the Keeper of Time and Records v5.5.1, slices through the air like a sword. “The Light Rebel has made her decision.” She turns and gestures to Daniel and Rafe. “You two…come forward. Now!”
The two strong, powerful warriors slink forward like naughty school boys being called out on a prank. Both of them hang their heads and refuse to meet her gaze.
The Record Keeper extends her hand and lightning shoots out from each palm. The light hovers under their chins, and she slowly guides the light upward, causing the two men to have to lift their heads and look at her. She slowly gazes from one to the other. Her wise head shakes from side to side. “Neither one of you listens, do you? Do you know why you’ve forced her hand, making her embark on this dangerous endeavor?”
“I have an idea. I thought about it long and hard while in the dark,” Daniel says.
“Good,” she booms.
He leans back from the force of her words.
“And you?” She half-closes one eye and stares long and hard at Rafe out of the other one.
He squirms under her scrutiny. “Yes. I should not have allowed myself to fall in love with her.”
“No, you shouldn’t have. You heard of the risks. Did you think that was just folly?”
“No, I…” Rafe begins. “She’s amazing. I couldn’t help myself. And I guess I…I just wanted to see what it felt like to be in love,” he mumbles.
“And how does it feel?” The Record Keeper asks more gently.
“Hotter than any fire I’ve ever experienced.”
She laughs, her laughter echoing through the atmosphere. “So it is, child, so it is. The heart is so fickle. It wants what it wants. And now do you believe what you were told?”
�
��Yes…yes, ma’am.”
I’ve never seen Rafe so polite or contrite. It makes me want to laugh. Instead I reach down to ruffle Sober’s head. Sober’s never been to an ether meeting, but it seems he’s going to get an award today.
“This won’t be easy for any of you,” the Record Keeper tells the three of us. “You,” she says to Daniel, stabbing him in the chest with her fingertip.
His face is stoic, but I know that must have hurt. His jaw tenses and his neck muscles bunch in response.
“Your ego needs to come down a notch or two. You’re rather willful and impulsive.”
“Yes, your grace,” he replies impassively, meeting her gaze with his brilliant blue eyes.
“And you,” she says to Rafe, holding his chin in her hand as if he’s a child. “Your self-esteem needs to raise a hair or two. You’ll be good for one another,” she states. “If you don’t kill one another first.” She laughs a big belly laugh this time.
Daniel works his jaw side to side and again, I want to laugh. I’m sure his britches are in a bunch right now.
The Record Keeper becomes still as nightfall. Her eyes close, as if she’s in trance. She begins to mouth words. They fall silently from her lips, glowing brightly before extinguishing.
I can only make out a few of them. “Recommendation.” “Challenge.” “Good for them.”
Her eyes open, and we all let out a collective sigh as if we have been holding our breath as one.
“An idea has been presented to me,” she says. “It’s a sound one, coming from the Beyond.” She closes her eyes again and cocks her head, as if listening. “Yes,” she finally says. When she opens her eyes, they look like milky opals, bright white with glints of blue and fiery orange. “The three of you shall travel together. The Light Rebel shall require escorts until such time as you are no longer needed.”
“What?” Daniel roars.
“Oh, hell, no!” Rafe splutters.
“Oh, no!” I wail. I don’t want to travel with the two of them. Talk about awkward.
She holds up her hand, and everyone falls silent once more. “There’s nothing to argue about. What’s decided is decided. You three have already upset the balance of things.”