At first I thought Liam was wearing a band T-shirt, which would be a definite step up for him fashion-wise, but the logo was for an übernerdy board game I’d seen him set up in the Laurentis’ dining room. Like, the kind with little figurines of wizards and dragons.
Arty Glasses squeezed in between us. “Me and … what did you say her name was?”
“Dude,” Liam said to him. “I think I just saw a guy you know reading Proust on the balcony.” Liam pushed him toward the other end of the apartment.
“Oh my gosh, thank you. That guy didn’t even remember my name! I will so owe you for that.”
Liam blinked and a smile emerged. A shy smile, which was weird because Liam’s settings usually dialed to scowl or resting dork face—which wasn’t so much resting as it was being on the edge of dorking out about computer coding or the rules of magic in those weirdly elaborate board games. Okay, I felt bad for that. Liam couldn’t help being a little dorky. It’s just how he was, for as long as I’d known him.
“So, um, is this one of your friends?” Liam asked.
“Yes! Sorry, this is Amy. Amy this is Ethan’s brother.”
“Liam,” he added, and then reached out to shake Amy’s hand, which pretty much confirmed his dorkitude.
“Liam! Wow, it’s so good to meet you. I’ve heard—”
“Where is Ethan, anyway?” I asked before Amy could gush about me having said anything at all about the Laurentis prior to tonight.
Liam’s expression darkened. “Around, I guess. Hey, it’s really great you came out. I thought we should meet at your school, but Ethan said the party would be easy enough to find. You didn’t get lost?”
“Oh, no. We have a New York native in our crew.” I smiled a little at having a crew.
Liam looked relieved, like he’d actually worried I might not find my way to the party. “So, how is your internship? Your grandma said you’re designing a dress. That’s amazing.”
“You should see her gown,” Amy cut in, and detailed the fabric and construction to a level Liam surely couldn’t care about.
“Amy is designing an outfit inspired by a comic con costume,” I told him. That seemed like something he would be interested in.
Sure enough, his eyes lit up, and he asked Amy more about her design. That gave me the chance to scan the room for Ethan. He was here, at least, according to Liam. Des and Tess laughed from their spot on the couch, so they were good.
Finally—the most welcome sight of the night. Ethan, his dark hair a little longer and effortlessly messy, walked in from a sliding door. He’d been out on the porch. The music became a soundtrack following each deliberate step.
He saw me. Recognition flared in his eyes and he smiled.
He was walking toward me. Time slowed and my breath caught.
Ethan spread his arms to either side. “Amelia. You’re here!”
All the weirdness of the party was worth suffering through for this moment. Ethan wanted me here. “Hey! Good to see you!” I glanced to Amy. She probably expected us to hug. Should I hug him? I’d never hugged Ethan. He hugged his friends. Would he hug his ex-girlfriend?
The moment was there, so I went in for the hug.
Ethan rolled with it. I peeked over his shoulder at the living room where Desiree’s back was turned to me. Ethan pulled back, not at all phased by our hug.
I introduced him to Amy. “And that’s Tess,” I said, and pointed before Amy could get in any questions. “And Avery—she lives in New York. There’s Desiree, she’s my roommate.”
“How many friends did you bring?” Ethan’s eyes grew wider, and a curious but adorable grin emerged.
I did mental math, remembering to count Avery’s two strays. “Including me, seven.” Was that too many? Like I could help it when everyone invited themselves.
“Seven? All right.” Ethan grinned. “Hey, Aidan!” He called over to the beanie cap guy who’d let us in. “Seven!” The guy, Aidan, weaved his way over. “I might win this, bro,” Ethan said to him.
“Win what?” I looked at each of them for understanding.
“Ethan, come on,” Liam said, a solemn warning riding his words.
Ethan handed me a soda he grabbed from a cooler. “Aw, it’s stupid. Just whoever brings in the most girls is all.”
A flash of something hot passed over me. “Like a contest?” What was the prize?
Ethan’s grin fell away. “I swear, nothing creepy.” He held a hand to his chest. “Aidan was inviting all these guys. We can’t have a decent party with just guys.”
“You know it,” Aidan said.
Liam glared at his brother. Before Liam could speak, Ethan cut him off. “I mean, if the party is only a bunch of us dudes, we might as well play video games.” He made a face like this would be a very loser thing to do, at least on a summer night in the city. “Aidan and I go way back. I trust him. I wouldn’t have told you to come otherwise. Everybody here is cool.”
The way he stood, so close, like he was telling me secrets, softened any doubt. Plus, Ethan standing so near me might look to the others like we were having a moment. This was probably the longest conversation we’d ever had.
I was about to ask Ethan if we could talk somewhere when squealing girls yelled in unison an incantation of sorts that must have been a private school club initiation thing. I’d seen a similar chant in Prep School Throwdown Two: Elite Class when Kenya pledged an underground organization and danced for her life to escape.
Ethan shook his head, laughing at the chant. “Anyway. The warehouse party is where the real fun starts. The dancing.” He swayed his shoulders a little. “Right, Li?” He elbowed his brother. “Liam is fierce on the dance floor.”
Liam’s cheeks lit up. He looked at the ceiling, the walls—everywhere but at me.
“Hey, is this Ethan?” It was Tess. “Just wanted to say hi. And of course we’re coming to the warehouse.” She grabbed a glass from the table behind Ethan and disappeared.
“That’s Tess.” I shrugged. I didn’t know Tess very well, actually.
“So, do you two have classes together next year?” Amy asked Ethan, looking at me and then back to him.
“Different grades,” I said quickly. Different schools. Different lives.
Ethan crossed his arms. “You’ll be what, a junior this year?”
“Ha-ha, funny. Of course.” I play-pushed Ethan, which felt not at all natural. I ignored Liam’s quizzical look.
Des sauntered over. She wanted an introduction, naturally. I plastered on a smile and explained who was who. “Des and I are roommates. It’s been great. We do almost everything together, even though we’re in different blocks—that’s how the courses are divided.” The more I kept talking the less room for questions.
Ethan leaned in to me, his breath warm against my ear. “There’s a buddy of mine I haven’t seen in since last summer. I gotta catch up with him.” He nodded across the room and stepped back. “Make yourselves at home.”
“Sure, but when you get a chance—” I started.
He turned back. “No worries. We’ll catch up more later.”
“He’s totally avoiding you,” Amy said as soon as Ethan was out of earshot.
But not out of Liam’s.
“Of course he’s not. That would be weird. Amy, can you come with me to the bathroom? You too, Desiree.”
We moved down a nearby hall, which had to have a bathroom or a laundry room or some kind of room away from everyone. “Everything’s fine,” I told them. “Des, you probably don’t want to end up at that warehouse party. We should just go.”
Amy shook her head. “You should talk to Ethan. You need to get things straight with him. Remember, we’re your support.”
“Don’t leave on account of me.” Des’s brows furrowed with concern. “If it’s really crowded, I can always take a cab back early.”
I actually did want to talk to Ethan. This could be the start of what I’d always wanted. I only suggested leaving so I wouldn’t need to
constantly manage these conversations.
We agreed to stay. On the way out from the hall, we passed Liam, who’d struck up a conversation with a girl who rocked an edgy purple hairstyle and wore suspenders and a tie over a death metal T-shirt. She said something and Liam laughed, his shoulders rounded and relaxed. Huh, so Liam found the nerd-punk girl among the fashionistas. Good for him.
Amy, Des, and I retreated to a spot in the corner of the living room. Amy struck up a conversation with random groups, and Tess found her way back to us, entertaining us with stories about living in New Jersey. A blur of faces and names floated by as I searched for glimpses of Ethan. After a while, I left to find a bathroom. I needed to escape, if only for a few minutes. I checked Instagram and went on a Liking frenzy to calm my nerves. If I could just tell Ethan how I felt about him—tell him I liked him and when we got home we could try for something more. Then all this shifting of truths wouldn’t be necessary. He’d invited me here. He wanted me here. He didn’t have to do any of this. He could have let Gigi orchestrate the parental meet-up and never asked me to come here at all.
But he had.
I smoothed my hair, freshened my lip gloss, and exited the bathroom. Crossing through to the opposite end of the long apartment, I paused by the sliding doors, where Ethan had been earlier. I stopped. Dread hit me low in the gut. Ethan was out there, and he was talking to Desiree.
She tucked her hair behind her ears, her soft, tight curls moving forward in the wind. She caught my eye, and glared.
Panic boiled hot and quick, my stomach like a rumbling volcano readying to erupt. I moved toward the door but Des slid the screen open first. “You lied,” she said, and kept walking. She didn’t look back.
CHAPTER TWELVE
“Des!” My attempt to call after Desiree storming away from me was swallowed up by the music. Whatever this song was, I hated it.
Ethan looked back at me from the balcony where he’d just been talking with Desiree. Obviously talking about how I’d made up that we’d had a relationship in which he dumped me. “Hey, Amelia.” His expression was as neutral as that tan painting by the doorway. He didn’t seem angry or miffed or anything other than typical Ethan.
I swallowed over my tight throat. “Whatever Desiree told you, I’m sorry.”
He checked his phone. “It’s almost ten, so we should head out.” He walked back in and slid the door shut behind him. “Your friend is cool. I’m glad you brought her. And you too. It’s awesome you showed up.”
Words failed me. How did Des know I lied if Ethan wasn’t suspicious?
“You coming to the warehouse?”
I looked at Ethan, at everything I wanted right in front of me. I couldn’t live with myself if Desiree was mad and I didn’t at least try to talk to her. “I … I’m not sure. My friend seemed upset, so I need to go find her.”
The party guests were funneling out of the apartment to the elevators.
I spotted Amy texting by the front hall. “Amy, have you seen Desiree?”
She looked up. “Last time I saw her she was talking with Tess.” She caught on to my worry. “Is everything okay?”
“She didn’t say anything to you?” I hated to ask, but I needed to know if she’d talked to anyone or if she was saving up her wrath for me alone.
“No. Maybe she’s in the bathroom.”
Tess and Avery and their two extra friends swarmed over, laughing. “You’re coming, right?” Tess asked between laughs.
“You should go ahead with them,” I told Amy. “I’ll wait for Desiree.” I couldn’t leave Des. Unless she’d left already. I took out my phone and texted her I was sorry. A blanket apology would lay a base for any future groveling.
The apartment continued to empty out, leaving it a fraction of the Living in New York snapshot from when we entered. Coming from a family who cleaned for a living, I really felt for whoever got stuck with that job after this party.
Desiree emerged from a back hall, calm and confident. “I’m ready.” She looked at everyone but me. She continued right on by, out the door and to the elevator.
“Go ahead, I’ll be right there,” I said to anyone left listening and pretended something in my purse needed urgent attention. A few seconds to compose myself and I’d be fine. Getting iced out by Des stung, and I couldn’t lose it here; not yet.
Liam stopped by the door where I stood. “Amelia, are you sure you want to go? You don’t have to. Probably better if you don’t.” He shuffled his hands into his pockets, ratty cargo pants with a pen poking out from a pocket on the thigh. “You know, we could do something else. I have an app on my phone that shows the highest user-rated attractions the city offers.”
The truth was, I didn’t want to go to the warehouse party, but I had to because Des stormed off and Ethan was there and I needed to fix things. “No, I’m going.”
Amy poked her head back in from the hall. “You guys coming? What’s going on?”
This sucked. Soon she and everyone else would know I’d lied about (a) having a boyfriend, (b) going to prep school, and (c) my entire life.
I slipped out the door with Liam behind me. We made it outside in time to see Desiree duck into a cab with Ethan and two of his friends. A clammy chill crawled across my skin, like a damp rag dragged across the surface.
“You don’t look well,” Liam said to me. “I should get you back to your school. Or do you need a doctor? If you need a doctor, I know where to go.”
All I could think was how I’d hurt Des. How my stupid daydreams would cost me her friendship, and whatever drama I’d stirred up would follow me back home to Miami when either Laurenti brother found out I’d made up an entire relationship history about Ethan.
I had to set things right—tonight. “I just need to talk to Des. She’s mad at me for something that’s my fault.”
One of the other kids from the party flagged down a cab and we crammed in. Liam squished beside me with Amy on my other side.
Liam adjusted the slightest bit to face me. “Sorry if any of Ethan’s friends were rude to you. They’re jerks. Like with that bet.”
Amy leaned forward to see across me to Liam. “What was the bet about, anyway?”
“They do this all the time. They offer up their cars and cash, or they dare each other to do stupid stuff. I’m pretty sure Aidan owes Ethan a weekend in Vegas.” His breathing came shallow and his body tensed. “It’s like everything is a game to them.” He glanced at me and relaxed. “But he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. I know that.”
I’d forgotten all about the bet. Besides the girl I’d stepped on, no one at the party had been rude. Not that I’d talked to many of them.
The cab dropped us in front of an ancient brick building with painted lettering weathered from years of neglect. A homeless man slumped in an alcove. Down an unsuspecting alley, a linebacker-size dude stood by a door. Ahead of us, Ethan passed over a handful of cash and stepped over the threshold. He paused, looking back at us, then handed over more money.
“We’re in!” Amy said to me in a hushed, excited voice.
Inside, a club mix pounded, thick and living like a creature being summoned from beneath the city. Darkness coated every surface, and the sound wrapped around me, pressing in and making me feel small. The place was crammed with people. Desiree had to be cowering in a corner somewhere.
Avery ran over and grabbed my wrist. “This is amazing.” She stumbled forward and caught herself on Tess, who threw her hands in the air (and clearly didn’t care). “We so owe you for getting us in.”
Liam’s arm brushed against mine. I looked over, ready to apologize thinking the bump was accidental. He leaned toward me. “Your friend. She’s over there.”
I turned and saw Desiree sitting on a stool in front of a worn L-shaped wooden bar, positioned haphazardly along the wall as if it had been dragged in a half hour ago.
I approached slowly and sat at the stool next to hers.
“You have something you want to tell me?�
� She didn’t look at me when she spoke, instead taking a bottled water from a guy behind the makeshift bar.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
That was the catch. I didn’t know what she knew, or what she didn’t know, or what she’d said to Ethan.
“We’re friends, Amelia. At least I thought so.”
“We are. Of course we are.” My hands trembled. “Look Des, I wasn’t straight with you about a few things. I was stupid. Really, really stupid. I just felt like, I don’t know … inexperienced when I got here. You saw that picture of Ethan and his family and assumed he was my boyfriend, so I went with it. It was dumb and I shouldn’t have let you believe what wasn’t true.”
“So you’re telling me Ethan is not your boyfriend?”
I took a breath. Amy stood a few feet away so I shifted to keep my back toward her. “No.”
“Did you ever go out with him?”
I shut my eyes. “No.” I wished the music and the darkness would swallow me up whole. I opened my eyes. Des watched over the party, leaning back against the wooden counter.
“You embarrassed me,” she said. “You should have seen the way Ethan looked at me when I said I was sorry you two couldn’t make it to prom together. I looked like a fool. I could see in his eyes, his confusion. He corrected me, saying you were there at the house when he left for prom, but that you’re there a lot. Because, you know, your family cleans his house.”
And the truth was out. “I’m so sorry, Des.”
She set her water down. “You’ve seen me at my worst. How I freak out in crowds, or when we got lost. I’m not perfect. But life isn’t a fantasy. Quit pretending you have some different life and get a little real. So what’s the truth, Amelia?”
My head pounded from the bass. “I’ve known Ethan and his family my whole life. We live on their property. It’s a little weird to explain to people who don’t already know.”
Desiree didn’t comment. We both watched over the dancing crowd. The dancers lost themselves in the music. An intentional kind of lost, not like how I felt lost right now. Every attempt my brain made at an apology sounded like an excuse. The truth sucked.
Alterations Page 9