by Desiree Holt
“Alex?” Josh’s voice broke into his mental wanderings. “Something wrong here?”
He shook his head and pasted a quick smile on his face. “Nope. Everything’s copacetic. Ty, when are you leaving for Wyoming?”
“Day after tomorrow,” Tyler answered. “I worked the phones and found some good men to put together a skeleton crew with. Enough to do the surveying. And they’ll fill me in on the best supply companies and the best crews.”
Alex felt that little thrill of excitement when they got to this starting point on any job. The survey work made it a reality.
“Okay. Keep in touch.”
“Ty’s sending the plane back for me,” Josh told him. “I’m going to spend a week out there with him when they’ve got the preliminary information together. Then the hard work starts for me.”
“Good enough. Just be sure you catch me up to date on whatever you’ve got going before you leave.”
“It won’t be for three or four weeks, at a guess. We’ll have plenty of time to make sure everything else is where it should be.”
When they left Alex pulled his jacket off the back of the chair and tossed it over his arm. The tie he left lying on his desk. For what he was going to do he didn’t need it.
Unless I plan to tie her up and spank the shit out of her for being so stubborn.
The image that came to mind made him so instantly hard that he held his arm in front of him so the jacket covered his very noticeable hard-on. He walked to the hotel since it was only a few blocks from his office, hoping it would help him get his thoughts together.
He and Livy certainly weren’t lacking for off-the-charts sex. It seemed whenever they were alone together it took only seconds for them to tear each other’s clothes off. They even managed a few nooners, like today, fucking like minks before going back to work. And it seemed the more time they spent together in bed, the bolder she got. The more aggressive he got, the more she matched him. He sometimes felt as if he was overdosing on sex.
But while his body was more than satisfied he certainly wasn’t getting what he really wanted. An emotional commitment from Livy. And somewhere along the way the balance of power in their relationship had shifted. She had become the person in control, calling the shots. No mistake about it. He sometimes wondered if she got off on the power as much as the sex.
Whatever it was, he was getting damn tired of the whole thing. The more he saw her and spent time with her, the more he wanted her in his life permanently. He was getting to the point where he just wanted to shake her and force her to understand how he felt. How he knew she really felt underneath all that bravado.
He needed to find that one key that would unlock Livy’s heart and somehow it kept eluding him. Maybe today he’d find the answer.
But when he got to the hotel and tapped on the door of her room, she opened it, reached out an arm and pulled him inside. He looked at her and his mind went blank. She was gloriously naked except for her trademark stiletto heels and she immediately went to work to get him in the same condition. She literally dragged his shirt from his body and tossed it to the bed. But when she unfastened the button on his slacks and started to slide the zipper down he grabbed her arms.
“Not yet.” He could hardly get the words out, the way his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth at the sight of her. He had to grab some control here.
Pulling her tightly against his body, her hard nipples boring into his chest, he took her mouth with bruising force. Thrusting his tongue inside, he licked every inch of the wet surface, tasting her gums and teeth. He slanted his head this way and that, changing the angle of the kiss so he could plunge deeper and deeper, trying to tell her silently how much he wanted her not just physically but emotionally as well.
She was trembling in his arms, leaning against him for support. He slid one hand down the planes of her tummy to the folds of her cunt, finding them slick with her juices. She rocked against his hand, her tongue still dueling with his. But then she tore herself away from him and dropped to her knees.
“Livy,” he began in a strangled voice.
“No. Please. I want this.”
In seconds she had his slacks and boxers down around his ankles, her fingers wrapped around his cock, her other hand cupping his balls. She squeezed them lightly and he couldn’t swallow the groan that burst from his mouth. When she swirled her tongue around the head of his shaft, slipping the tip of it into the slit he growled, tiny electric shocks surging through his body. Much as he wanted to pull away from her and try to wrest control from her, what she was doing felt too damn good.
In another moment, she opened her mouth wide and slowly took in the length of him and his brain completely shut off. He threaded his fingers through her thick silken hair, gripping her skull firmly to hold it in place.
She sucked him hard then slowly drew back before sliding her mouth down from tip to root again. She grazed him lightly with her teeth, gripping his balls tightly and drawing another growl of pleasure from him. Her mouth moved up and down his shaft, slow then fast then slow again until Alex thought he’d go out of his mind.
Jesus, her mouth was hot. And when she scraped her fingernails lightly over his balls his eyes crossed and he thought for sure he’d lose it.
Heat surged through his body, setting his blood on fire and sizzling every nerve ending. He wanted to tell her to never stop, just keep sucking in that wonderful rhythm forever. She was so damn good at this. Whenever she did this and he came, seeing her swallow every bit of his cum was as arousing as that act itself.
He rocked his hips, working himself even deeper into her mouth and down her throat. When she backed away and stood up he had trouble comprehending what she was doing. There he was with his swollen cock hanging out about two breaths from an orgasm and she stopped?
“What the hell?”
He reached for her again but she danced away.
“I’ve been getting myself warmed up for you while I waited,” she told him. “Now that you’re caught up I want you inside me.” Lifting a condom from the top of the nightstand she held it out to him. “Ready when you are, cowboy.”
Forgetting his legs were still trapped by his clothing he stumbled in his effort to get to the bed. Toeing off his shoes and socks he made quick work of the slacks and shorts and climbed onto the bed with her.
Livy lay waiting for him, legs wide open, knees bent, teasing him as she rubbed a damp finger teasingly over first one nipple then the other. She knew exactly how much that turned him on.
Rolling on the condom, he bent down and took a moment to taste her, running his tongue over the lips of her pussy and swirling it around the tip of her clit. She hitched her hips up to his mouth, making those little whimpering sounds he loved so much. When he pushed his tongue inside her channel she reached down for his head and clamped it hard to her body, rocking against his mouth.
She tasted like sugar and salt, a combination whose flavors burst so pleasurably on his tongue that he wondered if he’d ever get enough of it. He licked and sucked, drawing her ever closer to the point of explosion, making her beg him to fuck her. To let her feel his cock inside her.
He palmed her breasts, plumping them, seeing the wet nipples glisten where she touched them. He loved the way her body responded to him. She might not admit it but the moment he touched her she was his. When he was at the point of no return himself, he reared back, positioned his shaft at her opening and drove into her with one swift, hard thrust.
Oh, Jesus!
He had to grit his teeth to keep from exploding right then. But he could feel the tremors in her pussy and knew she was right there with him. It took only three hard strokes and the orgasm caught them both with a powerful force, shaking them as if they were no more than slim reeds in a hurricane. Alex wanted to stay buried inside her forever, her sweet walls gripping him like a wet fist, her body taking every bit of him. In that moment nothing existed but the two of them, skin to skin.
The shudders seemed to
go on forever, stealing every breath in his body, his heart pounding so hard he thought it would beat itself out of his chest. All he could think as he came down from the sexual high was how important this woman was to him. He’d do anything to make her his.
Finally, finally, came the calm after the storm. He collapsed forward, holding Livy tightly to his body, feathering kisses across her damp cheeks and brushing his lips over hers.
Damn, he loved this woman, and not just for the sex. He wanted to make her his. Forever. Share everything with her. Build a life together. Somehow he had to convince her.
He took a moment to dispose of the condom before crawling in bed next to her and cuddling her body to his.
“I ordered us club sandwiches,” she told him in a voice that still shook slightly. “I figured we’d need to replenish our energy.”
“In a minute,” he said, running his hand lightly up and down her back. They were both sweaty as hell and could no doubt use a shower but he had to get the words out first. “I have something I really want to tell you.”
She tensed in his arms and tilted her head back. “About what?”
He stroked her some more, trying to ease the tension. “Livy, we’ve been doing this for weeks now, and I have to say it’s the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.”
“I feel a ‘but’ coming.”
He nodded lightly. “You’re right. Olivia, you have to know how I feel about you. This is about more than sex. A lot more. I love you. Can you honestly tell me you don’t feel something for me?”
She managed to push herself out of his arms and sit up, drawing the sheet up over her. “You know how I feel about that. I told you in the beginning. No emotional attachments. Livy’s Rules. You agreed, Alex. You even said it out loud.”
“I know, I know. But you can’t order someone how to feel, sweet girl. And what I feel for you is so enormous I can’t even put words to it.” He grabbed her chin and turned her face toward him. “I love you. Love. I want us to be together. Build a life. Share everything. I know your career is important to you. It’s important to me, too. I want you to get that partnership you hanker after so badly. This isn’t about changing you. Or taking away. It’s about adding more.”
She grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away. “Damn it, Alex. I don’t do love. Or anything close to it. It’s an illusion. Give in to it and it disappears.” She jumped off the bed and began pulling on her clothes. “Maybe we need to call this quits right now. Surely as adults we can work together without things getting messy between us.”
Alex began to scramble for his own clothes. He didn’t want to have this conversation where he was the only one without clothes on. He grabbed her arms as she headed for the door and kissed her hard and hot.
“Don’t run away from this, Livy. I know why you feel this way. You—“
Her eyes widened. “Exactly what do you think you know, Alex?”
“I know all about your family, sweetheart. And the raw deal your father gave you. I—”
She tore herself away from him. “You poked into my personal life? You dug around in my family?” Her eyes were wild, her body shaking with anger. “What gave you that right?”
He spread his hands out in a pleading gesture.” I love you,” he said again. “I wanted to find out what put those shields up and how to get past them.”
“You had no right. No right. Why didn’t you ask me, if you wanted to know so damn badly?”
“Would you have told me?”
She tossed her hair back, fire sparking in her eyes. “Of course not. It’s none of your damn business. Just sex, remember? You agreed.”
“Because that was the only way I could be with you,” he shouted back. Taking a deep breath he lowered his voice. “Why won’t you take a leap of faith? Believe me when I tell you this is the forever kind of love?”
She looked at him for a long moment. “Because there is no such thing. Get that through your head.”
Then she was gone, the door slamming behind her.
Alex sat on the edge of the bed, running his fingers through his hair, trying to make sense out of what had just happened. Figure out how he’d fucked things up so badly. Finally he pulled on his jacket, left the hotel and headed back to his office.
The sidewalk was crowded but he barely noticed anyone when they bumped against him. His head was still back in that hotel, feeling a soft, pliant and hot Olivia in his arms. Superimposed on that was the image of a very angry woman. And hurt. Yes, there had been hurt in her eyes, the last thing he wanted to see.
He paid little attention to where he was walking, totally engrossed in replaying the scene over and over in his mind.
“Hey, buddy!” someone shouted. “Hey, watch it!”
Alex figured they couldn’t be talking to him so he just kept going. He heard a lot more shouting, the loud sound of horns honking, the squeal of tires and then something very hard smacked into him. He was tossed into the air then came down on something hard.
Blackness took over.
* * * * *
Olivia flew down the hospital corridor toward where Josh and Tyler McMann stood in the trauma center. She knew she probably looked like something left over from last night’s party. When Josh called her she’d left a meeting and slammed out of her office, leaving her suit jacket and briefcase, taking only her purse. In the car she’d kicked off those damn stilettos and run barefoot into the hospital. Her blouse had a streak of indelible ink on it from the pen she’d been holding when she got the call and she’d chewed off all her lipstick.
But she didn’t care. Didn’t even care that Frank Vincent had demanded to know why she was leaving and tried to order her back. Didn’t care that she’d nearly gotten a speeding ticket on the way over. Didn’t care about anything except Alex, who might be—please god, no—lying dead in this very building.
All the way over she’d prayed, silently and aloud, for just one more chance with him. How stupid she was, clinging to the hurts of the past and denying herself a chance for a future. Alex McMann was good. He was honest. He was real. She’d lost her heart to him in the blink of an eye but refused to accept what he was offering because she was afraid. She was still that scared, angry little girl, lost in a mishmash of a family, protecting herself against the world.
Now, through her own stupidity, she might never have a chance with the best thing to ever come into her life. If she could take back everything she’d said earlier in the hotel room she’d do it in a heartbeat.
I love you, Alex. Please let me have a chance to tell you.
“Where is he?” She stopped short, almost skidding, where the brothers stood with somber expressions on their faces. “How badly is he hurt? What happened, for god’s sake?”
Josh took her ice-cold hands in his warm ones. “Take a deep breath. Come on.” He looked at her feet. “Where are your shoes?”
“In the car. They’re hard to drive in and harder to run in. Tell me, please. What’s happening?”
“We weren’t sure if we should call you,” Tyler said. “I get the feeling things have been a little rocky between the two of you lately.”
“Of course you should have called me. Oh my god. Where is he? I want to see him.”
Josh led her to one of the obnoxious plastic chairs against the wall and forced her to sit down. “He’s in radiology right now. The doctor thinks he may have some cracked ribs. They want to make doubly sure his lung isn’t punctured. And for sure his leg is broken and he has a concussion. He’s also got some internal bleeding so as soon as they have the x-rays he’s going to surgery.”
“What happened? Can someone please tell me?” She realized she was still holding onto Josh’s hands. Gripping them, actually.
“We talked to the police who were first on the scene,” Tyler answered. “From what we gather he was paying no attention to what he was doing and walked right into a crosswalk in front of a car. Good thing the guy had decent brakes or we might be at the funeral home instead.”
>
Livy closed her eyes and swallowed hard against the nausea rising in her throat. She should be the one in there right now. She should be the one hurt.
“This is all my fault,” she said, her voice shaking. “All of it.”
Tyler frowned. “Why do you say that? You weren’t driving. You aren’t the poor guy who hit him.”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, still holding Josh’s hands in a death grip. “We had a terrible argument at…lunch. Really bad. I got angry with him and ran away.”
Tyler sat down next to her and put his arm around hr. “Alex is a big boy, Livy. He’s responsible for his own actions.”
She shook her head. “You don’t understand. We…we had an agreement. About us. I spelled everything out for him in the beginning.”
Josh frowned. “Like a business arrangement?”
Yes. Like a stupid business arrangement.
It wasn’t much to cuddle up with on a cool night. The empty place in her heart was just getting bigger and every time she and Alex were together it was harder to keep from telling him how she felt. He gave of himself so willingly, letting her have it all her way and what had she done? Thrown it back in his face, even while her own heart was breaking.
“I-I guess. I didn’t… Oh hell. He wasn’t supposed to fall in love with me.” She swiped at the tears filling her eyes. “Worse than that, I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with him.”
“But you did,” Tyler guessed.
She nodded, tears filling her eyes again. Josh let go of her hands, pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her.
“Thank you.” She wiped her eyes. “I didn’t want to love him,” she cried. “Love is just too painful.”
“Sometimes,” Josh told her, “you have to take a leap of faith. That’s what happened with Vanessa and me and look how well that turned out.”
That was the second time she’d heard that phrase. That was what Alex had asked of her and she’d turned away from him. “I’ll never forgive myself for this.” She scrubbed her hands over her face. “Never.”