by Leisha Kelly
“Your pa musta been too hard on him.”
“He was sick a’ us not havin’ stuff ’cause a’ Franky losin’ an’ breakin’ everythin’! All a’ us was! How would you feel if you was wantin’ breakfast an’ your brother busted up the eggs! We didn’t have much a’ nothin’ else! You know that!”
“Oh, Rorey. He must’ve felt terrible.”
“I don’t know ’bout that. I only know Mama got up outta bed an’ went lookin’ for him, her an’ Lizbeth an’ Sam, an’ she hadn’t oughta been out. She took a spell or somethin’ an’ fell over by the woodshed an’ she couldn’t even get up. They had to help her in, an’ she was still only worryin’ over Franky. An’ if he hadn’t even run off, it never woulda happened! She never did get better, Sarah! She just got worse an’ worse, an’ if Franky wasn’t such a fussbudget clumsy coward, she mighta been okay!”
I could only stare at her for a moment. “If you and your pa are holdin’ that against him, I don’t know what to think. All that was just accidents.”
“Well, you don’t know what it’s like havin’ him for a brother. Pa says he’s bleary headed, all caught up daydreamin’ in the middle a’ somethin’ regular like puttin’ up hay, till he don’t even know what he’s doin’. Gotta watch for him all the time. Only thing he can do right is work wood with your pa.”
I sighed. “So why’d you go blaming him, Rorey? Don’t he have enough problems?”
She shook her head. “It wasn’t even my idea. Lester said I should tell everybody Franky did it. He said they’d believe me on account a’ the way Franky is.”
I felt an awful tingly feeling down inside me, cold and sour all at the same time. “You mean Lester did come?”
She was quiet for a minute, looking at me strange like she hadn’t realized she’d said that. “Yeah,” she finally answered. “I knew he would, because he likes me, Sarah, no matter what you think. We was in the barn an’ pretendin’ it was a dance hall an’ there was music playin’. I wished you’d a’ seen. I was hummin’ an’ singin’ ‘Tea for Two,’ an’ Lester was twirlin’ me aroun’ like we was good enough to be in a show!”
“How’d the fire start?” I asked, feeling heavier than I’d ever felt in my life. Didn’t she know all the trouble she’d caused? Wasn’t she even one bit sorry?
“He was leadin’ me, an’ we was dancin’, but then goin’ backward I think my foot hit the lantern. We didn’t mean to, Sarah. We didn’t really do nothin’ wrong.”
She looked like the same Rorey sitting there in front of me. My friend for more than seven whole years. But I didn’t feel like I knew her very well at all, and I was suddenly getting really hot about it.
“So he told you to blame Franky, and he run off without stayin’ to help? And you let everybody risk their lives and think it was Franky’s fault? You almost killed my daddy, Rorey. You almost killed him, and you haven’t even said you were sorry! You haven’t even cared!”
She stood up slow, staring at me. She took a step backward, looking strangely white. “No,” she said. “I didn’t hurt him, Sarah. That wasn’t my fault.” She turned and took a step for the door.
“Yes, it was! It was an accident, but it was still your fault! And you’re the coward, Rorey Jeanine, because you didn’t tell anybody! And you could have! You could have come right out and said you were sorry!”
She took off running down the stairs. I should have let her go. I should have just been quiet. But I was so mad right then that I didn’t think it through. I wanted her to hear me. I wanted her to stop and tell me, or my daddy or somebody, that she was sorry.
“Lester doesn’t care about you!” I yelled after her. “Or he’d have stayed to help your pa! He only wanted to make sure he wasn’t gonna get the blame, that’s all!”
I ran down the stairs after her, not even caring that surely the others were hearing me by now. She got to the bottom of the stairs and kept right on going. So did I. “Daddy and Bert and Franky all got hurt because of you! While you were standing there doing nothing! Franky was trying to save my daddy, and you’re telling people it was all his fault!”
“Shut up!” she screamed at me. “Shut up!”
Suddenly Mom was grabbing at me, and Kirk was grabbing for Rorey. “Girls! Girls!” Mom hollered. “What on earth?”
Rorey broke away from her brother.
“She did it!” I yelled. “She set the fire! I’m just trying to get her to say she’s sorry!” I tried pulling away from Mom, but Robert got hold of me too. Rorey went charging through the kitchen and out the back door with Kirk behind her. I didn’t pay any attention to where anybody else was.
“Lester was there, Mom!” I cried. “They were dancing in the barn and kicked over the lantern like a couple of fools! But she told everybody it was Franky! Just because she hates him, and Lester said to and—”
“Sarah.”
At the sound of my father’s voice I stopped.
“Sarah, come here.”
He was in the chair in the sitting room, right where he’d been before. I went toward him, suddenly trembling.
“Pumpkin, it was still an accident, wasn’t it?” he asked me.
“Y-yes.”
“Then you need to tell her you’re sorry for yelling at her. And don’t do it again.”
“But Daddy—”
“She’ll have to come to terms with the rest. And that’s not your job. Is that clear?”
19
Julia
Kirk and Franky both followed Rorey. I didn’t know where she was going. It wasn’t toward home, that was sure. I didn’t know if it might be better just to let her go and cool off a minute. Surely she’d be back. But nothing like this had ever happened before, and I wasn’t really sure what she might do.
I thought about following after them, but I had Katie and Emmie in the washtubs and Sarah all in a huff and Samuel to think about. And Bert, sitting here in the kitchen soaking his ankle in salts and looking at me funny.
“Did she really?” he asked me. “Did she really cause the fire?”
“That’s not something we need to concern ourselves with at the moment,” I told him. “It was an accident, like Mr. Wortham said. No use casting blame.” I looked over at my son. “Robert, you and Willy follow after them, please. I just want to be sure she comes back here or goes home. That’s all. Don’t give her a hard time.”
Robert didn’t say anything. He grabbed his hat and went outside like I’d told him to. Willy, on the other hand, looked at me with a smirk. “Lester, huh? Lester come aroun’ dancin’ with Rorey an’ burned down our barn?”
“William, I think you’d better leave that alone.”
“Ain’t no wonder he didn’t want her to tell.” He strode outside, and I prayed it was to look for Rorey. But I had a bad feeling about it.
“Harry,” I called, knowing he was the only one of the boys besides Bert still in the house. “Harry, go with William. And if he starts toward the Turreys’ house, do what you can to stop him, or come and tell us, please. All right?”
“Yeah.” He grabbed his hat and ran out. And I wondered if I’d done the right thing.
“Seems like things is bad right now,” Berty observed. I couldn’t even answer him.
Little Emmie came out from behind the draped sheet in the corner with her hair dripping wet and her eyes wide and round. “Pa’s gonna be real mad at Rorey, ain’t he?”
“I expect,” I said with a sigh. “And I sure hope he uses a little wisdom.”
“Will he quit bein’ mad at Franky?”
“I hope so. But it’s not going to serve him well being mad at anybody.”
Katie came out from behind the sheet with the hairbrush in her hand. “I wish the pastor was still here,” she said.
Sarah was so exhausted she just sat on the floor at her father’s knee. Finally I made her get up and take a bath. She didn’t want to. She didn’t want to do anything. But she did. And then I took her upstairs and helped her get settled in the
bed. She was crying the whole time. I knew she was, though she scarcely made a sound.
“I don’t think Rorey’s gonna be my friend anymore,” she finally said. “I’m not sure I even want her to be.”
“We’re like family,” I told her. “After a while, we’ll put this behind us, and you and Rorey will be able to get close again.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“You’re like sisters. I never had a sister, but I expect if I had, we’d always be able to find ways to forgive and go on.”
“Katie wouldn’t never have done something like that.”
“Rorey’s had some problems, Sarah. She’s not always had an easy time of it.”
“Well, same thing for Katie, Mommy! Her own mother just took off and left her with Uncle Edward when he was a scary, rotten bum! And it’s not always been easy for us either! I remember when we didn’t have nothing to eat but the daylilies and the dandelions and stuff. At least now we got chickens and milk and all, but so do Hammonds. It’s not so different.”
“Every family’s different. And every person deals with things differently.”
“But it wasn’t right for Rorey to lie.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“She hates Franky, Mom. So does their pa. He blames Franky for his mama bein’ sick, but it wasn’t his fault. It couldn’t have been!”
“No. It certainly couldn’t.” Anger at George Hammond surfaced in me again. Could he truly think such a thing? But I only hugged Sarah, and she held on to me tight.
“I’m glad I got good folks, Mom. I’m glad Daddy’s not mean like Mr. Hammond.”
I could’ve defended George. Perhaps I should have, and I almost did. George Hammond certainly wasn’t always mean. He’d become a hard worker, and he seemed to be good to his children most of the time. But when it came to Franky, I had to admit he’d been less than fair. And not just recently.
I knew Katie and Emmie were downstairs needing to get to bed too. But I took just a little more time with Sarah alone, praying with her, hugging her again, and singing a short little song I hadn’t sung in a couple of years, at least.
“I love you, Mom,” she whispered. “And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Lester sooner.”
“We talked about that already. And it’s all right.”
“No. There was more I didn’t tell you. I knew they were going to meet in the barn last night. She told me not to tell, and I didn’t, but if I had, her pa or you and Daddy would’ve got all upset and stopped him from coming over, and then there wouldn’t have been a fire, and Daddy would be okay—”
“Sarah, sweetie, it’s not your fault.”
“Yes, it is. If I’d have told, it wouldn’t have happened. I’m so sorry. I won’t keep any more secrets. I promise I won’t.”
I leaned and kissed her. “Well, I guess you did learn a lesson.”
“But do you think Rorey will learn a lesson too?”
“I certainly hope so.”
I went down the stairs praying. For Rorey mostly. Somewhere I’d heard that the first time a young person does something really bad, a significant bit of their future and the choices they make rest upon the kind of response they get. I prayed that our response to Rorey would be what she needed.
Berty was already in and out of the washtub by the time I came down. I knew he didn’t like a bath and probably hurried through it a little too quickly, but I didn’t question him. He was sitting on one end of the davenport with his leg on a cushion. Emmie was on the other end.
And Samuel was up and gone from that rocking chair. I don’t know why I didn’t notice right away.
Katie was standing in the doorway looking awfully worried. “Where’s your dad?” I asked her.
“He went outside. I’m sorry, Mom. I knew you wouldn’t want him to, but we thought we heard yelling and he just got up and told us to stay here—”
“Oh no.”
“I’m sorry, Mom.”
“Honey, it’s not your fault. Please just see if you can get these two settled for the night.”
I ran out the back door.
“Samuel?” Oh, why hadn’t he called for me or just waited till I was downstairs? He had no business running outside after Rorey in his condition. He’d been so dizzy, and hurting, and— I had to stop myself.
I had to stop and think that Samuel was just being a father. Even though most of these kids were not ours, we’d been acting like they were at least partly ours for years now. I couldn’t really expect him to stay in his chair. Lord, let him be all right. Let everyone be all right!
“Samuel?” I called again. This time I thought I heard something from the direction of the barn, maybe on the other side of it. I hurried just as fast as I could.
Samuel was standing up, leaning on the pasture fence. Robert was beside him. Rorey was plopped down in the dirt in front of them. And Franky was squatted down at her side. I didn’t see Kirk or William or Harry anywhere.
Rorey was crying, I could tell that now. But she turned her back to Franky, even though it was incredible to me that he’d even followed her out of the house in the first place.
“Rorey—” he said.
“I don’t wanna talk to you! I don’t wanna talk!”
“You may as well come back in the house with the others and get some sleep then,” Samuel told her. “You’re not doing anybody any good sitting out here.”
“I don’t wanna come in. You all hate me now!”
“Nobody hates anyone around here,” Samuel continued. “You can stop that foolishness and get yourself to bed.”
There was an edge to Samuel’s voice. Pain, I knew, just from getting out here. But more than that, he was angry. I hadn’t heard that in his voice in quite a while.
“But you’re gonna tell my pa!”
“You’re absolutely right I will. Every single word. An accident is one thing. And that would’ve been the end of it, if that was all. But you’ve yet to show yourself sorry, girl. And I won’t tolerate you being hateful to your family. Not any of your family. Do you understand me?”
“Well, I don’t have to stay in your house!” she sputtered. “I don’t have to do what you say!”
Samuel responded instantly. “You’re right. Start the truck, Robert. We’re taking Rorey home.”
“I’m not going home! Pa’ll kill me!”
“I don’t know what he’ll do. But it won’t be that bad, and you’re going home if I have to carry you.”
“Samuel—” I started.
He turned to look at me, but I didn’t say anything else, and neither did he.
Rorey stood up. I couldn’t believe she could be so defiant. “I’ll walk.”
“No,” Samuel answered her. “We’re going to make sure you get there. And that your father hears what he needs to. Right now, I don’t care what his feelings are for Frank. He’s got some growing up to do himself. But he’ll not tolerate you cussing your brother, not if I know him like I think I do. And he sure won’t tolerate you laying blame where it doesn’t belong or disrespecting me. So come on to the truck and let’s get going.”
I saw his hand gripped tight on the top of the fence, and I knew he was steadying himself. Robert knew it too. He hadn’t left to start the truck. He stood right there, ready to support his father. And it was very clear that Samuel needed it.
“Dad, you better get back to bed.” Robert sounded scared. “I’ll take her. I’ll do it by myself.”
He shook his head. “Julia, go with—”
He just sunk down, all of a sudden. He tried to catch himself on the fence, but how that must have hurt! He cried out with the pain of it, just a little. He’d have gone all the way to the ground if Robert hadn’t gotten hold of him.
“Samuel!” I cried, rushing to his side. “You shouldn’t be out of bed, let alone clear out here!”
I glanced at Rorey. She was only standing there, staring at us.
“Do you think we can carry him, Mom?” Robert asked. “If Fran
ky helps?”
“I can walk,” Samuel told us.
“You’ve walked too much!” I protested.
“Just hold me,” he said. “Just help me along.”
With me on one side and Robert on the other, we got him to his feet again. Franky came up close beside me, trying to help. Together we made slow progress across the barnyard. I didn’t say a thing to Rorey. I didn’t know if she’d run off. I didn’t know what she’d do. But without a word, she followed us, all the way to the house.
It was hardest getting Samuel up the porch steps. He seemed to pitch forward, and I probably wouldn’t have managed very well without Franky’s help. My heart was pounding.
We went straight to the bed. Katie ran to bring us the pillows. Finally when we got him settled, he didn’t say a word to me. He just looked at Rorey with the pain in his eyes.
“Are you ready to go home?”
“Please don’t send me,” she begged. “I’ll stay here.”
“No.” Samuel shook his head. “Too late. You’re going home.”
I could see the tears at the surface of her eyes. I might have spoken on her behalf, that it wouldn’t hurt just to leave things alone for tonight and talk to George tomorrow, but I knew he was right. The way she’d spoken to him, the way she’d acted, she hadn’t left us much choice.
“I’ll drive her,” Robert said again. “Mom oughta stay here with you.”
Samuel was breathing kind of hard. I took the cloth from the bowl at the bedside table and bathed his forehead with it. I hoped its wetness felt good to him.
“Maybe I should go,” Franky said.
“Where are Kirk and William?” I finally thought to ask. “And Harry?”
“Kirk didn’t come back in?” Samuel asked.
“None of ’em did,” Katie answered.
“Oh no,” I said aloud. “Samuel, what if they’ve gone after Lester? Now what?”
“They wouldn’t,” Rorey declared. “They wouldn’t dare! Would they?”
“Willy would,” I told her, and nobody argued.