by Brooke Page
She reached for me and I gladly took her, giving her kisses and snuggles. Heather held her cheek out for my dad and plopped down in the seat closest to the aisle before my mother could make her way to greet them. Ray hugged my mom and me then shook my father’s, Tyler’s, and Michael’s hand.
Music started to play, and we all took our seats. Here we were, the Stine family front and center at church. The pastor shook my father’s hand as he walked towards the altar to start the sermon.
Tyler looked over at me and gave me a heartfelt smile. Josie was sitting on my lap, playing with my hair. I tried to hide my blush from Tyler; his smile still had that effect on me. His eyes were green tonight, matching his dark green sweater. He looked so handsome with his hair styled in a controlled mess, faded to the top with a good inch for me to try and play with. His charcoal dress pants were pressed, and his dazzling white smile shown through on his clean shaven face. He put his arm around the back of my chair and paid attention to the sermon. Josie eventually crawled on Ray's lap, allowing me to lean more into Tyler.
Once the short Christmas sermon was over, we sang Christmas carols and eventually lit our candles and proceeded to sing “Joy to the World.” Josie was trying to grab Ray’s candle but was quickly distracted when she turned her head to see the entire church lit up with small candles. Her eyes were wide and curious. Ray kissed her cheek as she leaned into him. I wondered what Tyler would look like with a little girl clung to his hip. Would he snuggle her back?
I looked past Tyler and saw my parents, holding hands and raising their candles, both singing and looking at each other with grins. I finally understood why my mother enjoyed church. She had my father all to herself for two hours. She could hold his hand and he would sit still, not answer his phone or stare at a tablet. My dad could still make my mom blush, and I could only hope Tyler would still have that effect on me years down the road.
I brought my eyes back to the choir and thought about what I had just pictured in my head. I needed to tell Tyler I wanted a future. I needed to tell him I wanted a family, and I hoped to God he wanted the same thing.
Once the song was over, we all dispersed into the main lobby, depositing our candles into large boxes. My mother and father were conversing with many different people, still holding hands. Ray, Heather, Josie, Michael, Tyler and I stood in a circle, patiently waiting to ride in the limo with my parents to look at Christmas lights.
“Who is that guy dad is talking to?” Heather asked, her hands on her belly as she leaned into Ray.
We all turned our heads to see who Heather was talking about. My parents had separated and my father was talking to an unfamiliar man. He was short with black hair neatly combed with a very expensive suit.
“Isn’t that his friend from when he was younger?” Michael asked, trying to get a better look.
“I have no idea who he is,” I chimed in.
Tyler had a slight scowl when he spoke next. “That’s Lee Chino. He is one of our clients.”
Tyler looked at them curiously as my father and Lee chatted. It seemed fairly easy going and comfortable between the two men. So why was Tyler looking confused to see them standing together?
“They were friends in high school. He used to come around a lot, but he stopped for some reason. I think Mom doesn’t like him,” Michael assumed.
How come I didn’t remember who he was?
I looked up at Tyler and frowned. “What’s wrong?” I whispered. Tyler’s facial features smoothed, any trace of a scowl gone.
“Nothing. I’m just excited to spend Christmas with you,” he murmured so only I could hear. But I knew he was hiding something.
I saw my mother tug on my father’s arm as he waved goodbye to Lee Chino. She looked less than happy to see Lee but offered him a polite smile as they walked away.
“Are we ready to go?” my mother asked, reaching for Josie’s hand.
We all nodded and drove to my parents’ house where the limo would pick us up. Our ride was silent. Something thick was in the air, and I didn’t want to address it quite yet.
The white Hummer limo was waiting in my parents’ driveway with Roger standing next to the door. He opened the door for us, and I hugged him before I stepped in. He gave me an awkward pat on the back and flushed.
“I’ve got plenty of hot chocolate and popcorn in the limo!” my mother exclaimed, following Tyler into the limo. The white plush leather seats expanded across half the limo and around the sides. The other long side held a bar. My mother replaced the champagne glasses with mugs and placed marshmallows, caramels, and mints in bowls amongst the lights and thermoses.
Josie nearly leaped towards the candies. Heather huffed and looked at Ray. “Grab her before she goes into a sugar coma please.” She leaned backward and put her swollen feet up on the seat where Ray had been sitting before he went to tackle Josie. “Mom, why do you get all this junk food anyway? You never eat it.”
Michael busied himself pouring hot chocolate and plopped three caramel candies in his mug. “She gets it for me,” Michael bragged, as he stuffed a huge handful of popcorn in his mouth.
Heather rolled her eyes and lifted her feet for Ray to sit back down next to her with Josie.
“I get it for all of you,” my mother said, waving Heather off as if it were nothing.
Tyler grabbed two mugs and looked at me, silently asking if I wanted any. I bit my lip and shook my head no. He continued fixing a cup for himself.
Once everyone was settled, we strolled off in the white Hummer limo. Josie was bouncing from lap to lap singing “Jingle Bells” over and over while looking at the variety of Christmas lights in the extravagant neighborhoods. Heather was sprawled amongst the four seats in the back, her feet on Ray’s lap. She even took her boots off so he could rub her feet. Being the good husband he was, he did it without question. My mother was talking to Heather about her delivery and what their plan was and what she needed to do to help. My mother and Heather always got along and now even more so that Heather was a mother. Michael and my father were having an intense conversation about his new office building and how his waiting list had doubled within the past six months. They always had something to talk about. My father and Michael always shared a business mind. Even though Michael was a doctor, he was very aggressive on how many patients he had and where he was going financially. I was always in the middle, never showing the same heightened interest as my siblings, so I was easily bypassed.
But now I had Tyler. I rested my head on his shoulder while tracing patterns on his palm with my fingertip, clearly lost in my own world, our own world. When I looked up at him, he gave me a lopsided smile then leaned down to give me a kiss. Once we were a mere inch apart, a fit of giggles found a place in my lap.
“Auntie B! What are you doing?” she asked me accusingly. Her little finger pointing at my nose. I tickled her sides and pulled her into my chest. She laughed and thrashed, kicking her little feet away from me. I wrapped my arms around her trying to still her, giving her raspberries on her cheek.
Once she calmed a tiny bit I looked up at Tyler. He had a small smile, but seemed uncomfortable. When Josie looked up at him her eyes widened, and she tried to hide in my chest. She was still shy around him. Now that I thought about it, Tyler didn’t really show much interest in Josie.
“It’s okay Josie, he scowls at me too,” I said in a loud whisper.
She kept her face in my chest, wrapping her arms around my neck. Tyler looked down at me, a trace of a smile on his lips.
“You don’t have to be afraid,” I whispered in her ear, but my eyes were on Tyler. He didn’t have to be frightened of her either. He tensed at my stare then relaxed his shoulders and leaned down to Josie’s eye level. She peeked up at him with one eye.
“I promise I’m not scary,” he smiled. “Did you make cookies for Santa?” he asked her. Josie’s head tilted up, nodding.
“Chocolate chip?” he asked, his smile widening.
She nodded her head furiously. “We dipped
Oreo’s in chocolate, too. I got to put sprinkles on them. Grandma helped Mommy and me. We made Christmas trees and snowmen and reindeer and angels and, and we even made reindeer food!” She was sitting upright on my lap now, leaning closer to Tyler, her mouth constantly moving.
“Did you know you have to leave milk for Santa too? But mommy only has coconut milk, but she says that’s okay. I have stockings too, and Daddy says we have to read The Night Before Christmas and I have to stay in my bed all night if I want Santa to come. And did you know Rudolph has a bright red nose and he leads the way in the snow?”
Tyler nodded his head at her, trying to keep up with her motor of a mouth. She was amazingly good with words for a two and a half year old. Probably because Heather never stopped talking.
“She won’t stop, just a warning,” Heather smiled from the end of the limo as Josie kept carrying on to Tyler. Her hands were on his thigh now, and in a few minutes I’m sure she would be on his lap jabbering his ear off. He didn’t seem horribly uncomfortable. It settled my nerves a little. For a moment, I was worried he was afraid of her and being afraid of kids normally meant you wouldn’t want any of your own. I would be devastated if that were true for Tyler. Once again, I needed to tell him how I felt and what I wanted and hoped that he wanted the same as me.
By the time we were done making our routes through the neighborhoods and on our way back to my parents Josie was, as predicted, on Tyler’s lap. He seemed a little stiff when she crept from my lap to his, but once she laid her head on his shoulder and played with his watch he seemed to relax. Even when her eyes drifted closed and she had stopped fidgeting with his watch he started to rub her back, a small smile playing at his lips.
“Is she asleep?” he mouthed to me. I nodded my head, smiling as he wrapped his other arm around her little body.
“I’m sure she will wake up as soon as we get back to my parents. They normally let her open a few presents.”
He furrowed his eyebrows. “Crap, I didn’t get her anything.”
My smile widened. “Yes, you did.”
He gave me a smirk and leaned over to give me a peck.
“No kissing with my daughter on your lap!” Heather shouted from the back of the limo. She had a huge grin plastered to her face. She was leaning back on Ray now, his arm around the back of the seat. Tyler returned her grin as he leaned his head back on the seat rest.
My mom was grinning from the opposite side of the limo, her arm wrapped around my fathers.
Roger opened the limo door when we arrived at my parents. Ray came up to Josie on Tyler’s lap, picking her up and gently trying to wake her. It didn’t take long for her little head to pop up once we were inside my parent’s extravagantly decorated house.
Garland was hanging from everywhere, lights strung through some, with holly and beads. Differently sized nutcrackers and Santas were placed throughout their home, along with candles and poinsettias. Once we were in the large living room, a giant Christmas tree with white lights filled the corner of the room, decorated with bulbs and ornaments of all kinds. Stockings with each of our names were above the fireplace. There were even two blank stockings. One for the new baby, and I assumed the other was for Tyler.
I blushed when I saw it. I hoped he wouldn’t think it were weird for my mother to fill his stocking. She would always load our stockings with things like air fresheners and hand sanitizers, toothpaste and gum. She would even wrap everything. It took us forever to open presents. We all took turns, going around in a circle. Poor Tyler had no idea what he was walking into. I wondered if his family had silly little traditions like us.
“Okay, is anyone hungry?” my mother asked, walking over to the refrigerator to pull out some of the hors d’oeuvres. She had all kinds of foods, including four crock pots full. The food ranged from meatballs to deviled eggs. She had a cold dip and a warm artichoke dip, shrimp and teriyaki chicken kabobs. I was famished. Tyler and I had been in bed all day, and surprisingly Tyler wasn’t adamant about eating breakfast or lunch. His eyes widened when he saw the platters my mother and Roger were placing along the island counter.
“I hope you are hungry Tyler,” my mother said, handing Ray and Michael plates. Tyler nodded and smiled, following Michael who quickly piled food on his plate. I never understood why he could eat so much and stay skinny. Same with Heather; she ate all the time and was ungodly thin.
I stared at the food then looked to my mother. She handed me a plate, a comforting smile on her face. “Eat, sweetie,” she encouraged, giving me a sincere smile. A cloud was suddenly over us, and I felt awkward, like she was finally trying to look at me without judgment.
I gave her a half smile and took the plate. She gave me a side hug and kissed my cheek. This was her way of apologizing. We would never speak of the Christmas party again. This was how she handled things.
Tyler smiled when he saw me filling my plate. I loaded it with veggies and chicken skewers, shrimp and meatballs. I caved and had some artichoke and cheese dip with chips. I even drank some of my father’s special eggnog with brandy. We all sat throughout the large space between the kitchen and the living room. Heather was trying to get Josie to eat, but she was already bouncing off the walls, clearly excited and rejuvenated from her short nap in Tyler’s lap.
My father continued making drinks while my mother put on Christmas music. Roger was sitting with Michael and Tyler discussing a football game. I loved that Roger was a part of our family and not just hired help. He always stayed with us on Christmas instead of seeing his sister.
I sat next to Heather on the couch, admiring her ability to keep a plate balanced on her belly.
“So things with Tyler are good now, huh?” she asked, putting a chip with cheese dip in her mouth.
I peeked at Tyler who caught my eye, giving me a small smile and then returned his attention to Roger and Michael.
I nodded shyly, feeling warmth spread throughout my cheeks. She grinned back at me. “So dish, big sister. I want the dirt.”
I rolled my eyes at her. “There is no dirt. We are together now. We just needed to cross some hurdles, and we did.”
“Hurdles like?” Heather egged on.
I bit my lip. I didn’t want to go into detail of why we were apart. It hurt me too much to think about it. “I’m meeting his family tomorrow.”
“Was that a hurdle?”
I shrugged my shoulders.
“Are you nervous? I could barely walk through Ray’s parent’s front door the first time I went to meet them.”
“A little. I know most of them. The only one I haven’t met is his mother.”
“Mary Conklin? I hear she is eccentric. I bet she is nice. I wouldn’t worry about it,” Heather said, putting another chip in her mouth.
“It’s time for a picture! Everyone in front of the Christmas tree!” my mother shouted, grabbing her camera and shooing the boys to join us in the living room. Ray grabbed Josie who was rummaging through the presents. I was impressed she was just looking and not touching.
Tyler came over to me, holding his hand out to help me up. He grinned when he saw my plate was empty then kissed my forehead.
My mother started arranging people while Roger played with the camera, trying to find the best angle and lighting. Tyler stood off to the side, figuring he would be left out of the picture, but my mother grabbed him and pushed him next to me with a no-nonsense attitude.
Once we had our big group picture, my mother insisted on doing smaller family pictures. Some with Ray, Heather, and Josie and some with her and my father. Michael even posed for his individual photo. My mother pushed Tyler and me in front of the Christmas tree last.
“Alright you two, cuddle up close. This is your first Christmas together!” my mother encouraged. A rush of embarrassment ran through me as Heather snickered at my mother’s comment. Tyler didn’t look phased by my mother’s inappropriate comment. Instead, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me into him.
My mother let out a small s
queal and started to snap pictures. She loved to see a hot shot like Tyler ogling over her daughter. For the first time, I didn’t care, because I loved that he was doing it too.
Heather waddled over to us as my mother snapped pictures, holding something in her hand.
“Alright, it’s time for mistletoe shots!” she laughed mischievously, holding her hand with the mistletoe over our heads. Tyler laughed along with the rest of my family while I stared down at my feet.
I could feel his grin as he looked down at me, his hands gripping around my waist tighter, trying to get me to look up at him.
“Come on, Becca, give him a kiss,” Ray teased. Heather started making kissing noises. I rolled my eyes and turned my head to her, giving her an, ‘are you kidding me?’ look. When I turned my head back I found Tyler, his eyes soft and coaxing, trapping my gaze. His Conklin grin was spread across his face. He leaned down farther to kiss me, but I turned my head, blushing. He caught my cheek, and I could feel his smirk along with his kiss.
“Oh Becca, kiss him! You two have to kiss with mistletoe hanging over your heads! It’s bad luck if you don’t,” my mother chided, holding the camera with one hand and her other hand on her hip. My father was sitting down shaking his head at everyone trying to get us to kiss but was clearly amused.
I turned my blushing face to Tyler, knowing they wouldn’t drop it until I gave in and kissed him.
He leaned down, grinning from ear to ear, giving me the sweetest kiss, holding his lips to mine. My mother rapidly snapped pictures.
“Where’s the tongue?” Michael whistled. I started to laugh into Tyler’s lips when I heard Michael hoot and holler.
“I think that’s enough mistletoe for now,” my father coughed, reaching for my mother’s camera. My mom pouted at him, causing my father to soften and snake his arm around her waist. I squeezed Tyler tighter, resting my head on his chest when I saw them. I wanted what they had so badly. I wanted it with Tyler more than anything.
Heather ran over to my parents with the mistletoe, waving it over their heads while Michael took the camera from my mom. I sighed. The attention was no longer on Tyler and me, making cuddling him more comfortable.