by Brooke Page
“I pushed her away Becca. She pushed me back.”
Thud number two.
“I got mad, switched places with her and pushed her into the wall. I had to do it twice because she fought back.”
Thud three and Thud four. I hated this fucking cougar.
“I told her to stop, that she had to leave and never come back. She said fine, that she would just go and see my father. I got mad and hit the wall with my fist.”
Thud number five.
“Then I grabbed her arm and drug her out into the hall, practically threw her in the elevator. Then I fucking remembered she was on my list of people who could come up to my floor without being buzzed. I was so mad; I wanted her off that list instantly.”
It was as though the bones in my body evaporated as my head crashed into his shoulder, my arms flopping on his thighs. He cradled me, pulling me on his lap.
“I hate her. I hate that she had you first,” I sobbed.
He squeezed me tight then pulled me backward, his eyes hardening.
“Because I like the fact you fucked that asshole Gage? What about your pretty boy? The one you would be married to if you didn’t put up with being that crazy bitch’s friend long enough for her to swoop in and take him?”
I cried harder, my lip trembling. I wasn’t being fair, and I caused this. But Tyler wasn’t done. A vein was bulging in his neck.
“Don’t you think it drives me crazy knowing they had their way with you? That they have had you skin on skin? Did you not use condoms with Gage too? And what about all the other assholes after that Connor prick?”
I gasped, shocked and horrified he was bringing up my time in Florida.
“Yeah,” he bit while gauging my reaction. “Don’t think I don’t think about your phase. Do you even know how many guys there were?”
His eyes bugged out in horror as he covered his mouth, realizing he had just said the most hurtful thing anyone had ever said to me.
I flung my arms, trying to get as far away from him as possible. I was so embarrassed and hurt. I never wanted to discuss my promiscuous past with him, and here we were, drunk and emotional, talking as though we would remember everything the next day.
Tyler firmly grasped my arms as I fought him. “Becs, no I didn’t mean it! I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’m drunk and being an asshole!”
I stopped fighting and shook my head. “I was a whore. A trashy whore and I can’t take it back, I’m so sorry!” I wailed. He was right to call me out. There was no way I could erase that awful part of my past.
Tyler pulled me back to his chest, rocking me back and forth while I sat in his lap.
“You’d never be trashy. I’m the trash. I didn’t even talk to the girls I had been with besides Margo. I was such an asshole in college, Becs. I was trashy, not you,” he said gently in my ear, a hint of pain behind his words. “I’m the one who can’t remember how many girls I have slept with. I couldn’t tell you their names. I can’t even tell you if I had slept with any of them more than once. They were all one night stands, wanting a piece of the baseball player. And I took it from all of them, whenever and wherever. I treated all of them like they were shit. Half the time I wouldn’t even get them off. I used them and I didn’t care.”
“You don’t know how many people you have been with?” I squeaked.
He sighed and shook his head no. “That’s not something I am proud of,” he whispered.
I couldn’t help but feel relieved he had a promiscuous past like I had.
I cried into his chest until my head started to un-fog. I groggily stood up from his lap, reaching my hands down to him, helping him to stand. He was still unstable as he stood. His eyes were red and blotchy. This was hard for him too, and he was way more drunk than I was. I let go of his hands to walk into the bathroom, wanting to throw water on my face.
How did this night turn into such a mess? I believed what he said about Margo and was kicking myself for waiting until now to bring it up. I should have not pretended to be sleeping that night and asked him right away instead of slowly letting it eat at me the rest of the week. So instead, our pasts blew up in our faces when we said they didn’t matter, yet we willingly brought them into the equation. But now I was done and oddly felt at ease that he had no idea how many people he had slept with. It really sucked to hear how hurt he was over my being completely bare with Connor. But Connor was the only other one, and only if Tyler would realize I had truly only bared myself to him.
I washed the makeup from my face with water as Tyler watched me in the mirror. His demeanor looked broken. My strong business man had his head hung low with bloodshot eyes. I stared back at him through the mirror. He slowly approached me, putting his hand on my exposed back. He tilted his head down and kissed my shoulder ever so slowly, never taking his eyes off mine, trailing towards my neck.
I felt his hand on the back of my zipper, fumbling to grasp the clasp with his numb fingers. Once he grasped the clasp, he gently pulled it down my back, letting it fall off my body and pool to my feet.
I felt his breath on my neck as I watched his eyes gaze at my undergarments he had purchased. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured into my neck, moving his hands down my sides, letting one hand snake to my stomach while the other smoothed down my back.
“Fuck, I wish I weren’t this drunk,” he mumbled, closing his eyes and leaning into me. I let out a slight laugh, wishing neither of us were drunk.
“Let’s go to bed,” I whispered, turning and wrapping my arm around his waist, helping him walk to the bed.
He flopped down on his back, clothing still on. He was much more intoxicated than I was, and I was impressed his eyes still stayed open when his body crashed. I reached around to unclasp the corset and tossed it to the ground then rummaged for one of Tyler’s t-shirts.
I climbed on the bed, trying to pull the covers from underneath Tyler and over us. Luckily Tyler could still manage to move. Once the covers were over us, I curled up next to him. I felt a little more at ease after our confessions tonight, and even though the night didn’t go as planned, we dug deeper into our relationship. I felt stronger and more connected. We were becoming something so intense and real, and it was the most invigorating feeling I had ever felt.
Chapter 22
A low, strained groan escaped Tyler’s throat as the sun peeked through the window. I slowly sat up, rubbing my eyes. I glanced at the clock, noticed it was only 7:00am and flopped back down on the bed. I should have gotten up for some Tylenol, but the down comforter was way too enticing.
Tyler groaned again then sat up and stretched his arms. He slowly stood and made his way to the bathroom. I heard him rummaging through a bag, and then he came to my side of the bed, placing two Tylenol pills and a glass of water on the end table. Before I could say anything, he was back in the bathroom then walked out the door. He had changed into gym shorts and a t-shirt. Where was he going? I pouted. I wanted to snuggle in bed with him. He didn’t need to be on the golf course for another three hours. I know I had kind of lost it in front of him last night, and he had said some horrible things, but we worked it out, and we were drunk. I wasn’t going to hold it against him, even if some of it was true. He immediately took everything back anyway, and if I were sober I wouldn’t have cried like a toddler who had her candy taken from her.
I attempted to go back to sleep but failed, so I decided to shower and get breakfast, knowing once those small tasks were done my body would demand more sleep.
As I was getting out of the shower, Tyler was back in the bathroom, sweaty and salty. His shirt was off as he brushed his teeth at the sink. He must have gone for a run. My stomach churned; running with a hangover sounded awful.
I wrapped the towel around my body and walked up behind him. He continued with his task but refused to meet my eyes.
“Thank you for the Tylenol,” I murmured, picking up my toothbrush. Tyler nodded then reached to turn the shower back on.
“Why don’t you order break
fast?” he said briskly as he stripped from his shorts and boxers then continued into the shower.
I frowned. Why was he being so short? Maybe he just wanted to be clean? Part of me wanted to drop my towel and re-shower so I could join him, but then the other part said he needed some space. Maybe he was embarrassed from last night? I had never seen him so drunk before, but he didn’t do anything too crazy, besides calling me out on being a skank.
I brushed my teeth and threw on my bathing suit and a cover up then proceeded out to the kitchen to find the breakfast menu.
I ordered a few dishes, figuring Jamie and Nathan would emerge from her bedroom shortly. Only Jamie. You would think she would have learned by now to not sleep with her bosses. But they did seem to have a connection. I just wasn’t sure if a romance was the vibe I was getting.
Tyler joined me at the dining table as room service was leaving.
He was all smiles now, dressed in khakis and a light blue polo. He smiled down at me as he kissed my cheek. I couldn’t help but notice his eyes were more blue than green.
“Feeling better?” I asked as he sat down next to me at the table.
He nodded his head. “Tylenol, five mile run, then a shower. Always does the trick.”
I made a funny face and he laughed. He looked through the arrangement of food and grabbed a few items just as I did. His expression grew more somber as we sat in silence eating.
“I’m sorry about last night. From what I remember, it’s a little hazy, but I said some things that were pretty awful,” he said quietly, afraid to look my way.
I set my fork down and reached for his forearm. “Tyler, it’s fine. We were both drinking, and it was all bound to come out sooner or later. I need to stop being so insecure and forget about our pasts.”
He gave me a wry smile then continued eating.
“I’m surprised Nathan hasn’t come back from his suite yet,” Tyler said, looking at his watch then grabbed the paper once he was done eating. “He is always up and moving early.”
I let out a soft laugh. “Jamie probably wore him out last night.”
Tyler gave me a funny look. “What?”
“Jamie was making her moves last night.”
Tyler grinned, looking down at the table. “Nothing happened.”
I scrunched my eyebrows together. “How would you know?”
“Because. Jamie’s not… she’s not Nathan’s… type,” Tyler said, trying to hold in his amusement.
What the hell was that supposed to mean? “Is there something wrong with Jamie?” I asked a bit too harshly, feeling protective of my best friend.
Tyler quickly shook his head no. “Of course not it’s just Nathan isn’t in to--”
“Who let me drink that much!” Nathan whined, popping out of Jamie’s bedroom. Tyler stared at him with confusion.
“I need a drink, bad,” Nathan said, searching for a bottle of vodka then pouring it into a glass of orange juice.
Tyler was still looking at Nathan as though he had grown two heads.
Nathan chugged his drink then came to sit down and join us at the dining table.
Tyler kept looking at him questioningly.
“What?” he barked at Tyler, causing a smirk to come from Tyler’s mouth.
“Nothing big brother, I’m just a little thrown off.”
I looked between the two of them. Was I missing something? Besides coming to the conclusion that Nathan was indeed an alcoholic, something was being passed between the two of them.
Nathan threw his hand in the air and towards Tyler. “I don’t have the patience for your bullshit remarks today, Tyler.”
Tyler shook his head, his expression one of shock. “We should leave in a half hour,” Tyler said.
Nathan stood up and headed for the door. “Alright I will be back in 20 minutes.” He closed the door and Tyler’s jaw was still hanging open.
“He has some explaining to do,” he said under his breath.
“Why?”
“As far as I know, Nathan has never been with a woman,” Tyler said, shrugging his shoulders.
My jaw nearly hit the floor. Nathan was at least 32 and had awesome charisma. There was no way he hadn’t been with someone. And he said he had while we played I Have Never. I looked at Tyler confused, and he started laughing.
“Becca, he doesn’t like women that way.”
I closed my mouth, finally putting the pieces together about Nathan Conklin. He was gay, and it all made sense now.
“I guess I can see that now.”
Tyler continued chuckling and shook his head. “I can’t believe you didn’t figure it out sooner.”
“I don’t know. I guess I never really thought about it.”
Tyler stood up with his empty breakfast plate and leaned over to kiss my forehead. “You’re cute. I need to finish getting ready.” He walked past me as I sat and stared.
How did I not see that Nathan was gay? I guess when it doesn’t bother you it doesn’t stand out. I wonder if the rest of Tyler and Nathan’s family knew? I could see RJ being an asshole and judging Nathan, mainly because RJ was a complete asshole to begin with and seemed like he would be the type to discriminate.
About 20 minutes after Tyler and Nathan left to go play golf with Kobiashe, I made my way out to the porch to text with Heather. If she didn’t answer, then she was sleeping and I wouldn’t wake her up like I would if I’d call.
It seemed Heather was busy because she didn’t answer. I found myself staying on the porch, enjoying the warm breeze and looking out into the crystal clear water of the Atlantic Ocean. It was very peaceful. The occasional runner or tourist would walk by along the beach. There was a path just below our suite outside for bikers and others to use. For the most part I couldn’t even hear them, but I knew they were there.
“I don’t know how those men drink so much,” Jamie huffed, flopping down in the lounge chair next to mine.
“Yeah, Tyler was up at 7:00am and left to go running,” I said baffled.
“Who does that?” Jamie said with the same tone.
Silence passed over us, and I was dying to ask her about what had happened last night, but she beat me to the punch.
“Did you and Tyler have as much fun as you both were insinuating last night?” she asked with a knowing smile.
I sighed. “No, unfortunately not. We kind of fought, but it was okay. We needed to let it out. Besides, he was way too drunk. I doubt he would have been able to finish.”
“What did you need to let out?” Jamie asked.
I bit my lip, not really wanting to relive the conversation. “We both keep thinking about the past and let it bother us too much, but neither of us would talk about how we felt. Even though everything is a little blurry, I think we each said what we needed to say.”
Jamie just stared. “Nothing like an intense conversation while drunk. Extra emotional I’m sure.”
“Yes, I cried like a little girl who got her sucker stolen. It was embarrassing.”
Jamie snorted and leaned back in the lounger, closing her eyes.
“And how was your night?” I finally asked, since she was obviously not going to bring it up.
She let out a huge sigh. “Drunken, not very dramatic, but unfortunately… very uneventful.”
“But you slept in the same room?”
She groaned. “Not my choice, I told him to get the hell out of my bed, and then he told me to shut up because he wasn’t moving and that my skinny ass didn’t need the king size bed all to myself.”
“So… no touching?”
She glanced my way. “Not exactly. But he is an asshole, and I will never make a move on him again,” she added coldly, her words laced with irritation. Her expression turned from anger to hurt, and I wanted to comfort my friend.
“Tell me what happened,” I said, leaving my big comfy lounger to go sit with her. The loungers were large and long, shockingly comfortable. Maybe later in the afternoon the sun would show through and I could lay d
own out here instead of by the pool.
She leaned her head on my shoulder. “So we started to make out, you know, played grab ass for a while. It was pretty sloppy because we both polished off each of the bottles we were drinking once you and Tyler went to bed. Anyway, I started to go for his clothes and he kept pushing my hands away, so I said screw it and started to take my own clothes off. He didn’t react how I thought he would, so I took control and rolled so I was on top of him. He started to get a little more into it, enough for me to undo his pants and him to want to take control again, enough to pin me on the bed. Then he sat up on his knees and looked down at me for what felt like forever. I think he was trying to focus.”
Jamie’s voice started to crack a little the more she talked.
She swallowed hard and finished what she was saying. “I finally sat up on my elbows, about to bitch at him to get shit going, and then he said,” She gulped again, wiping her eye. “He told me ‘he wasn’t drunk enough to do this’ then practically collapsed next to me. He was so drunk he couldn’t move after he fell to get the hell out of my bed.”
She let out a sniffle, but being Jamie, she quickly recovered, sitting up straight and blowing it off like it were nothing. I know it hurt her to be rejected. She hardly ever got rejected, and now she still had to work with him most days.
“He probably wouldn’t have gotten the job done anyway,” she scoffed, emotion still in her voice.
I raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to continue. When she didn’t, I decided to fill her in on what Tyler had told me at breakfast. “You do know he is gay, right?”
Jamie blinked then looked to the roof of the porch as though she was in deep thought. “Huh…,” she thought, attempting to comprehend what I just said. “That actually makes a lot of sense now that I think about it.”
“I know right?” I said half surprised. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. I mean all the spa days and shopping. He is super tidy and meticulous about how he looks.”
“Yeah… how the hell did I not see that? Explains something else he said.”
I looked at her quizzically.
She let out a slight laugh. “He said he wasn’t even drunk enough to fuck me up the ass. It’s actually really funny now that I think about it.”