She paused, then added, a little sadly, ‘Or you me, I suppose. Maybe we’re both the kind of closed-off people who don’t … well, not don’t make friends because we both have friends and good friends, but maybe we’re both people who don’t share their lives easily.’
The conversation was, fortunately, interrupted at that stage, Mike pulling up on the drive beyond the front veranda steps, then striding towards them, the grim set of his face telling them it was bad news.
‘The initial opinion of the experts looking at the scaffolding is that someone tampered with it, so we’re looking for Greg Carter as a murder suspect now. As far as Bobby is concerned, we’ve not found any relatives as yet and with Christmas fast approaching I doubt we will. Children’s Services have suggested he go to one of their emergency foster-families’
‘No!’
‘No!’
Tom beat her denial but not by much.
‘We’ll keep him here. We’ll manage,’ Tom added, and he sounded so positive Lauren knew they would. Somehow they would cope with suddenly having shared parenting—however temporary—of a bewildered, orphaned child.
‘My workload is down to practically nil, and now Jo has Cam working at the clinic she’ll help out as well,’ Lauren added, wanting to reassure Mike that she’d be available for Bobby.
‘And Christmas?’ Mike asked. ‘If we don’t find relations or a placement for him, what about over Christmas?’
‘I hate the word placement,’ Tom muttered, and Lauren understood it brought back too many bad memories for him, but she’d already been planning Bobby’s Christmas so rushed in to explain.
‘I was going to be in town for Christmas anyway, keeping an eye on things at the refuge then going out to my parents’ farm after New Year. I’ll keep Bobby with me then take him to the farm later in the holidays Tom’ll be welcome there whenever he has time off—it’s only three-quarters of an hour’s drive so shouldn’t be too difficult. If Bobby likes it there, I know the family will be happy for him to stay on when Tom and I have to work. I’ll stay up there and commute, we both could, although if Tom has late nights—well, he always has the house and—’
She stopped abruptly, aware she’d been doing exactly what Tom had accused her of yesterday—rushing into words, saying things that had probably embarrassed Tom who undoubtedly had his own plans for Christmas. And now she thought of it, just where did Tom’s latest lady-love fit into all of this? How come she hadn’t given that poor woman a thought when she’d not only begged Tom to be her date for the tree raising, but had now shifted into his house?
She tried to think if she’d heard of Tom seeing anyone recently. Maybe a woman up the highway at Belrose? Or had that been last year?
Totally mortified now, she stared out towards the ocean, wondering why the human form couldn’t vaporise itself and disappear …
Tom and Mike were talking so perhaps they hadn’t heard her or if they had, had simply ignored her. And hopefully their conversation had been relevant enough for them not to have noticed her embarrassment.
Noises of departure brought her back to the here and now and she managed to say goodbye to Mike, but as he drove away she turned to Tom.
‘I’m sorry, talking about arrangements without discussing them with you, including you in my plans when for sure you have your own plans for how you want to spend any time you get off, and another thing—I can’t believe I didn’t think of it earlier, but is my staying here going to get you into trouble with your girlfriend or girlfriends?’
Tom waited patiently until she reached the end of her apology—at least, she thought it was an apology although maybe that had got lost somewhere along the way—then he smiled.
In fact, now she considered it, he’d been smiling all along. She’d noticed his lips twitching while she’d stumbled over her words in her haste to get them out.
‘Quite finished?’ he asked, and she sighed, then shrugged and shook her head.
‘I’m sorry,’ she said, in case she hadn’t said it earlier.
‘No, and no, and no,’ Tom said in a deep but gentle voice that coiled into her chest and seemed to clutch at her heart. ‘No apologies are needed. How can you apologise when all you were doing was showing kindness and friendship? And, no, though I’m working over Christmas, I have no plans for my time off after it and would be delighted to spend it with you and Bobby and even go to the farm if your family don’t mind, and finally, my sweet Lauren, there’s no girlfriend in my life at present and even if there was, how could any worthwhile person be upset by you and I getting together to care for a lost and lonely little boy?’
Utterly relieved by his understanding, and perhaps a little excited by the ‘no girlfriend’ bit, although that was stupid, Lauren raised her head and looked at him, wanting one more assurance.
‘That’s all we’re doing, isn’t it?’ she whispered.
Was it doubt that flickered in his eyes?
The same doubt she’d felt when he’d said it?
Was that all they were doing?
He leant forward and kissed her, a barest brush of lips on lips, yet her lips foolishly responded, clinging for a moment, wanting more.
Was she mad?
Fortunately, before she could decide, Tom straightened up and smiled.
‘What else could it possibly be?’ he teased, which wasn’t reassuring at all, particularly as the coil around her heart tightened while her breath caught in her lungs and panic swept like jagged lightning through her mind.
She’d wanted the kiss to continue?
She sought refuge in her bedroom, where she dug her nightshirt out of her tote. What had possessed her to bring the one that had fat cherubs with bows and arrows—a gift from a grateful patient—all over it? She’d never really looked at the pattern before but peering at it now, yes, they were definitely Cupids. Not that nightwear Cupids could actually do anything …
Cupid was a myth.
But on consideration the Cupids were better than the hospital creation and the hot peppers on her other nightgown—the one her young nephew had given her for Christmas last year. Young nephew, Jake—Jake would be at the farm when she went up after Christmas. He was ten, a nice kid—nice enough to put up with Bobby’s insecurities? She hoped so because that’s all his bad behaviour was, an outlet for uncertainty …
And what was her outlet for the uncertainty besieging her right now?
Not thinking about it!
Ignoring it!
No other way to go …
She grabbed the Cupid nightshirt and her toilet bag and headed for the bathroom. Shower, clean teeth, bed, sleep—simple.
Simple, right up to the sleep part. She lay on the quite comfortable folded duvet on the floor and tried not to think about the man who owned the duvet. Tried to rationalise her thoughts—hadn’t she known Tom for nearly two years, so why now start going gooey over him? Coils around her heart indeed! Although—
The although shocked her so much she sat upright on her makeshift bed and stared into the darkness.
No, of course she wasn’t going to consider the although!
As if the fact that he wasn’t seeing anyone at the moment meant he might want a brief affair with her!
But everyone in town would assume it’s happening …
So?
So why not?
Heat coiled now, low and swift, reminding her that her body was meant for more than simply existing—it was meant for pleasure …
She sighed into the darkness—physical pleasure was something she’d read about often enough but never experienced, not with a lover.
A lover—that’s all Tom would be.
An experienced lover capable of showing her physical pleasure.
A very experienced lover.
Could she do it?
She’d lost count of her blushes over this particular weekend but felt the heat rise again in her cheeks that she could be thinking such a thing.
As if Tom would be interested in her!
Not after all the times she turned him down.
Not after he’d stopped asking …
And as if she could let it happen!
Lead him on then let him down as her stupid fears conquered her before they could even get close to physical pleasure?
No, she couldn’t humiliate herself like that in front of Tom …
Tom lay in bed, missing his duvet, although it was hot enough not to need any covering. In actual fact, he suspected he was missing the woman who was sleeping on his duvet, although he could hardly be missing her in bed when she’d never shared his bed, and she was still in his house, so he couldn’t really be missing her.
These musings having reached a dead end, he sent a silent apology to Emily up in Belrose whom he had been seeing in a casual, no-strings kind of way for the past few months. He mentally apologised for denying her existence earlier, though he knew full well Emily wouldn’t be upset if their casual arrangement ended. In fact, he suspected she was ready to end it herself, or perhaps had ended it, refusing the last few times he’d invited her to come down or suggested he drive up for a visit.
It was a pity in a way about Emily because it was exactly the kind of affair he enjoyed—the woman far enough away to not expect him to be constantly dancing attendance on her, an out-of-town arrangement so no one was hurt by gossip, and a woman who had a healthy enjoyment of sex for its own sake, not wanting things he couldn’t offer, like love or commitment.
He didn’t have to consider love where Lauren was concerned, but he certainly had committed himself to her and Bobby for the foreseeable future. And apparently Lauren had committed herself to him and Bobby because she was including him in family post-Christmas plans.
She’d explain the situation to her parents, he was sure of that, so they’d have no expectations of him as a possible partner for their daughter—a future son-in-law.
Son-in-law? The thought of him being such a person was so totally out of whack he smiled into the darkness, then felt a little sad that it should be so foolish an idea …
But he drifted into sleep with the position on his mind, wondering just what was involved in being a son-in-law—something he was never likely to be …
CHAPTER FIVE
THE next morning, as Lauren came into the kitchen, desperate for a cup of tea and a little peace and quiet before Bobby awoke, Tom looked up from where he was reading the paper at the table and said, ‘Do you think we could give Bobby one really good day doing something special—just being a boy and enjoying things?’
Lauren considered it for a moment, then grinned at her host.
‘Let’s go for a picnic in the mountains. Up to Streatham. There’s a Sunday morning market there with buskers and other entertainers—men and women on stilts, clowns, face-painting. We can go on from there to the national park and barbeque some sausages, have a swim in the pool below the waterfall, take a walk through the rain-forest—just have a complete nothing day.’
She looked to see how Tom was reacting, then remembered he had a job—responsibilities!
‘Oh! Sorry! I should have asked. Are you even off duty?’
‘You’re doing it again,’ he said, smiling at her in such a way the coils tightened once again—this time around her heart. ‘Rushing into words. I’ve already been to work, beside which, I’m the boss, I can take a day off. Streatham’s only a twenty-minute drive. If an emergency crops up, I can get back in no time at all. And if I’m not mistaken, we can get breakfast at the markets. Little profferties and German sausages and waffles and ice cream—’
‘And cups of fruit salad and home-made yoghurt should we just happen to think the child needs a healthy breakfast,’ Lauren put in, but Tom just grinned unrepentantly and reminded her that it was a day off so they should be able to eat what they liked.
When Bobby awoke he was wholeheartedly in agreement with the plan, even to the breakfast of the little Dutch pastries with icing sugar and honey and cream.
‘And I can ride a camel,’ he added, excitement sparkling in his blue eyes. ‘Mum took me once and they had camel rides. Have you ever ridden a camel, Tom?’
Tom smiled at Bobby’s excitement and admitted camel riding wasn’t among his experiences, and then caught Lauren laughing at him when Bobby offered to let Tom ride with him.
‘Cos you can ride with two people. Me and Mum did it!’
‘It’s good he’s talking about his mother and things they did together, isn’t it?’ Tom asked Lauren, while Bobby was off getting his swimmers.
‘Very good,’ she replied, still smiling, presumably over the prospective camel ride.
But whatever it was over, that smile melted something inside Tom’s body, softening his bones in some way—weakening his resolution to stand alone in life.
He had no idea why he should feel this way—no explanation for it, not even an understanding of exactly what had shifted—but he took it as a warning and knew he had to stand back a little, armour himself against thinking this temporary togetherness with Lauren—and Bobby—was anything other than a convenient arrangement for the sake of an orphaned child.
The Streatham Markets were alive with colour and music and people. Flags tossed in the wind, acrobats tumbled across a grassy area, avoiding the camels in their bright saddlecloths and fancy, plaited reins. Stilt-walkers towered above the crowds while stall-holders extolled the excellence of their produce.
‘Can I have waffles and profferties?’ Bobby asked, when the decision had been made to eat first and explore later.
‘You can have waffles or profferties and yoghurt or fruit salad with whichever one you choose,’ Lauren told him. ‘You know all about good eating, and having fruit or veggies with your meals.’
‘Yoghurt’s not fruit,’ the smart eight-year-old reminded her.
‘There’s fruit in this yoghurt and it’s delicious. It’s what I’m having.’
‘Tom’s having profferties.’
Lauren knew she’d lost but far more disturbing—after all, they could do good food later in the day—was the strange feeling of not exactly family but togetherness she was beginning to feel. She, who’d always been so self-sufficient in her personal life, accepting that a husband and children weren’t in her future, was finding this simple outing with a man and a boy extremely unsettling—emotionally so …
It could be tiredness or stress, of course.
Yes, she’d put it down to that!
But she didn’t feel tired or stressed. In fact, she felt more alive than she had for a very long time—alive to the sounds and scents of the market, alive to the vibrancy in the air around her, alive, too, to the two males, one big one small, who walked with her through the narrow lanes between the stalls towards the profferties stall.
‘Fancy coffee or plain?’
Tom’s question broke into her musings. Just as well, for who knew where they might have led? She turned to look at him, intending to reply, and caught something in his expression—an unguarded moment perhaps—that seemed to reflect the pure pleasure she was feeling.
Weird!
‘French vanilla if they have it,’ she said, in reply to his raised eyebrow, but when he smiled she knew she’d been right. He, too, had been enjoying their stroll through the markets even if he probably hadn’t been considering the family vibe she’d felt.
They settled at a table beneath a canvas market umbrella, Bobby excitedly pointing out all the things he could see, telling Tom the camels were over that way.
‘Sure you’re not coming on a camel ride?’
For the second time on the outing, Tom’s question brought Lauren out of a muddle of thoughts she knew she shouldn’t be having. Mike would find Bobby’s family. He’d be moving on.
‘Sure of it,’ she told Tom. ‘I’ll check out the fresh fruit and vegetables to stock up for the week. Anything you don’t eat?’
He smiled at her and she found she had to concentrate on not panting, so tight had her chest become.
‘Turnips,’ he said.<
br />
‘They’re not in season anyway,’ she told him, pleased she’d been able to answer calmly—pleased she’d been able to speak at all!
If Mike didn’t come up with family for Bobby soon, Lauren was going to be in trouble. It had been okay fighting the silly attraction she’d always felt towards Tom when they met at work or with mutual friends, but living with him, being with him when he was relaxed and smiling and raising that darned eyebrow at her—well, how could her body not react?
She mused on it as she trailed through the fruit and vegetable stalls, then down the craft aisles picking up little odds and ends to put in a stocking for Bobby for Christmas—even if Mike found family, she could give him a stocking. But she was choosing articles almost at random because her mind was back at the idea of a possible affair. Dependent, of course, on Tom being interested, and then there was the thought that, although she was certain he was probably the best man in the world—he had experience on his side—to help her past her stupid fear of intimacy, might she be using him to get over this fear?
Loud yells brought people running through the stalls and though Lauren didn’t want to add to the chaos, she had a sinking feeling in her stomach that whatever upheaval was in progress, there was a chance Bobby would be at the centre of it.
‘It wasn’t my fault. The stupid camel stood up too soon!’
Tom, seated high above Lauren on the camel Bobby had fallen off, confirmed that the animal had lurched into a standing position, back legs first, and it had been almost inevitable that Bobby should fall off. The unfortunate part was that he’d fallen onto the camel’s handler who had let go of the reins as the pair tumbled to the ground, and the camel had gone loping off with Tom on board.
Someone had caught the camel, but with Bobby and the handler still untangling themselves and arguing over whose fault it was, no one knew how to make the creature kneel so Tom could clamber off.
New Doc in Town / Orphan Under the Christmas Tree Page 23