His mouth fell open. I was done. I stormed out of the room. My back didn’t hurt, but my temper was nice and raging. Three men in the hall dragged a fourth man who had clearly broken his leg down toward the Med Bays. I wasn’t on right now. Others would have to help him.
“Waverly, wait.”
This time I wasn’t going to stop. He finally caught up to me outside of the Mess. Ari grabbed my arm, and I stopped charging away from him. A few people still dined at the Mess, but at least it wasn’t the lunchtime crowd.
“What?” I kept my voice low. “What else is there to say?”
“Why would you think any of that? I am attracted to you. Of course I am. I wouldn’t say I was if it wasn’t true. I don’t lie.”
I shook my head. “Then you’re just not reading yourself very well.”
“You think you know me better than I know myself?” I decided right then and there that I hated the particular smirk he wore when he was mad. It was different than his amused one, which I actually craved.
“I watch you. All the time. Even when you don’t know I am.”
He threw his hands in the air. “I watch you, too, even when you don’t know I am.”
“Ari. Waverly.” Diana came out of the Mess. “You’re making a little bit of a scene. Maybe you want to take this somewhere.”
He turned to her for one second. “Beautiful, I don’t care where I talk to Waverly about this. She stopped here so here is where she’s going to get over whatever idea she has that is so ridiculous.”
Maybe it was the word ridiculous that really set me off. “There. Right there, Ari, is how I know you didn’t really mean a word you said.”
Diana winced, but Ari didn’t notice. He shook his head. “What?”
“You just called her beautiful. You call everyone beautiful. Or baby. Or gorgeous. Or hot stuff. Or sweetheart. Or any number of pet names. Every single woman you encounter gets a name, except me.”
He blinked fast, but I wasn’t done.
“Never. Not once have you ever come up with one for me. Not even baby. Not even sweetheart. Nothing. Not a name, Ari. Not one. I waited in the beginning. I kept thinking once I had a name from you, I’d at least be in there somewhere, someone you noticed. I am nothing to you, Ari. So take whatever this is you’re doing, however you’ve decided that you like me, and put it wherever you took it from. I’m not beautiful, and you’re not attracted to me. In fact, I can’t even think of anyone who has ever made me feel less a woman than you do.”
Oh we had a crowd now. There was one more thing. Diana put her hand on my arm. I wiped away tears off my face. When had I started crying? By the universe, I was pathetic. “That thing you said before, about how one asks out Waverly Sandler, my mother told that to my father once—that someone would want me because I was Waverly Sandler, no matter what I looked like. Well, I’d rather be alone than to be wanted for that.”
I turned and ran. I didn’t even pretend to walk. I bolted myself into my room, threw myself onto my bed, and I screamed silently into my pillow. I screamed, making no sound until my throat was raw. I’d learned how to do it years ago.
I’d just told off my friend, in public. I half expected my father to storm into the room and beat me until I apologized.
The day passed by slowly. A light use of cosmetics covered the bags under my eyes, and I managed to put together an outfit that was warm. I checked my tablet every two minutes. Jackson and Ari were close friends. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jackson got out of our date and considered himself lucky to dodge the bullet that was me.
Instead, he was right on time, knocking on my door. I opened it and gave him my best everything is fine smile. “Hi.”
He pulled me into a hug. “Hi, yourself.”
Jackson smelled like soap. He must have just gotten out of the shower. “Am I dressed warm enough?”
My date looked me up and down. I’d put on long black pants and a green sweater. Red heads were supposed to look good in green. “Perfect. As long as you have a coat to go with it.”
“So we’re going outside.” I grabbed my black coat and gloves.
“We’ll be outside the whole time. Unless the snow gets really bad.” I put on my coat and let him lead me outside. My argument with Ari wasn’t gone, but Jackson had a way of taking up all the space in my mind when he was with me.
A snowmobile waited outside the building, and Jackson climbed on board. “I doubt we’ll need this kind of transportation. A car would probably be fine, but I don’t want to risk it. Come on. Right behind me.”
I did as he asked. I’d never ridden on anything like this before.
“Hold on tight!” It was his only warning. A second later, we were off. I didn’t know I liked speed, but the faster Jackson made the snowmobile go, the more I loved it. My body vibrated, and I squeezed Jackson even tighter.
He must have enjoyed himself because he laughed loudly before he turned up the speed until it felt like we were flying.
Eventually, he stopped it. My hair must have been everywhere, and my ears were cold. I sort of wished I’d brought a hat. Jackson must have realized it because when he got off he opened a container in the back and handed me a black knitted hat. Since he always wore black, I wondered if it was his.
He pulled his hood over his head while I stopped to look around. Where were we?
“There,” he answered my unasked question, and I followed where he pointed. Lights illuminated the distance, a large grouping that seemed to twinkle in the night sky. “That’s The Farm.”
I hadn’t ventured outside The Farm since I’d landed on the planet. It was really small against the darkness of the rest of the planet. There had been others who lived here when The Farm was founded, but they’d joined us or been paid to leave. “Wow.”
“I know.” He sat down on the snowmobile and then pulled me down on his lap. “I have hot tea if you want it, but I’ll keep you warm, Waverly. I wanted you to see what it was like out here. Since we talked about both of us staying. I wanted you to see it was possible. There is so much here. Someday, there’s a whole planet to make home.”
I loved the idea. But we were getting a little ahead of ourselves. “And that day will be when the stars are safe.” I lifted my head to look up at them. “When the skies aren’t owned and fought over. When we could be safe just saying this is our spot and building it up.”
“Don’t you believe that’s possible?”
I shook my head. “I’m not an optimist.”
“Here’s a secret. I actually am. I believe. My parents were traitors. But I have a few people I trust who trust me and that’s enough. They’re family. I see you in my future. I want to work toward that. I want to start out telling you that the path I’m traveling has you on it.”
I leaned back on him, letting him support my weight. He didn’t flinch. “Why me? Look, I’ve had a day of people saying things I either like or hate. I don’t want to end up screaming at each other.”
“I rarely scream,” he added.
“Okay, be that as it may. I don’t usually scream, but I did today. In the hallway.”
He linked our fingers together. I couldn’t see his face, but I could see the top of his spade tattoo peeking out from where his wrist met the edge of the material. “With Ari. I heard about it. A couple of times.”
I winced. “I’ve never made a public scene before. I don’t like it. I’m not going to do it again.”
“Ask me whatever you want. I won’t yell. And we’re not in public. If you want to yell here, it’d be okay.”
I really couldn’t imagine taking this beautiful night and ruining it by arguing. “I’m not beautiful. You are. I mean physically. Ari is. Canyon and Ro are, too, but they’re different. What are you doing out here with me? You could have any woman you wanted. Trust me, I hear them.”
“You think I’m beautiful?” He patted my hip. “Turn around and face me, okay?”
It was awkward, but I did as he asked. I straddled his lap.
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“I’m covered in ink. That wouldn’t be for everyone. I’m glad you like it. If you think I wasn’t a little nervous about that, you’d be wrong. Okay. Great. I’m not interested in so-called beautiful. I could tell you that your skin is gorgeous, like ivory. It is. I could tell you your hair is a million sunsets. It is. I could keep going, if you’d like. None of that is why I can’t stop looking at you.”
My heartbeat was in my ears. “Pieces of me work. The whole picture is…”
“Unforgettable. You have a face I’ll never be able to get out of my mind. And moreover, you’re a survivor. You’re kind. You don’t fall apart. You’re smart. You’re funny. Want me to keep going? I could look at you forever. But more important than that, I trust you. And when you gaze at me with those big brown eyes, I can see that you trust me, too. That’s… hot.”
I didn’t have anything to say to that. Unforgettable.
He leaned forward, and while I gushed inside that he had said that to me, his mouth met my own. His lips were cool, and my breath caught in my throat. I closed my eyes. This was a perfect moment. Jackson was kissing me.
My date pulled back just a little bit. “Did I just give you your first kiss, lady?”
I nodded. “Sorry, I didn’t kiss you back. I was… shocked.”
“Good shocked?”
I beamed at him. “Unforgettable.”
When Jackson really smiled, he had two dimples, one in each cheek. “I’m going to kiss you. Again. Then some more, if you let me.”
Right there, with the wind blowing on us and a coating of snow on the ground, he kissed me until I couldn’t think straight. It wasn’t cold outside. It was hot. I squirmed on his lap, and he made the smallest sound in the back of his throat, the tiniest moan, and it set me aflame. I squirmed again. It was like I couldn’t quit moving when he kissed me, as though I just wanted to be closer.
After a while, he stopped, pulling back. He breathed heavily. “Gonna stop now, lady.” He was calling me lady. Jackson had just given me a nickname. I sighed. This was happiness. “I’m never going to stop if I don’t, and I need to take this slow with you. Or at least slower than this.”
“Are we going home?”
He touched the side of my face. “In a minute or two. I need to take a breather before I turn the snowmobile back on. Otherwise I’m going to hurt.”
That was fair enough. I turned back around until I leaned against him and stared up at the sky. A million things were happening up there. Battles. Births. Deaths. Love. Fights. Stories. Down here, I stared at the sky, with the lights of The Farm in the distance, in Jackson’s arms.
“I almost died last night.” I didn’t know why I said that. “But tonight I’m here with you.”
He wrapped me tighter in his arms. “You’re my lady. I’ll share you because I know that’s how the world works. I love those guys. Even when they’re being really dumb. But nothing is going to hurt you. We’re going to have a house out here where we can see the lights, but close our shades and shut it all the fuck out.”
That sounded perfect.
9
Expectations
I slept deep and groaned when I was pinged awake. Four o’clock in the morning was way too early to be on shift when I’d been out until almost midnight. But my tiredness would all be worth it. A night under the stars with Jackson would be something I’d never forget. He wanted to have a life with me—he’d wanted me to know.
Guilt weighed on my shoulders while I threw on my scrubs and put my hair up in a ponytail. I had been awful to Ari. He was never going to forgive me for yelling at him in front of everyone in the Mess. I’d not wanted to have a public scene, but that was what I’d done. I sighed. Our pleasant relationship over work and during the time travel was gone now.
It was always going to be awkward. I sighed. I’d apologize for my role in what happened, and at least he knew where I stood. I wasn’t going to be played around with while he figured out he wasn’t at all interested in me that way.
I opened my door and then grinned. Ro stood, waiting for me, a cup of coffee in his hand. “You’re here.”
He nodded. “This is the first time since we made plans to do this that it could actually come to fruition.” Ro placed the coffee in my hand and a jolt of warmth traveled up my arm. I was feeling very alive too. And so glad to be. “Your lock is broken.”
“I did my best to fix it, but I’m going to have to ping maintenance. Canyon broke it getting me home after my ordeal.”
He stared at it for a moment. “With your permission, after I take you to work, I’ll come back and fix it.”
“Sure, if it’s not too much trouble.” I really appreciated the help.
He shook his head, some of his dark hair falling into his eyes. I could sigh looking at Rohan. He was so handsome. “Did you sleep well?”
“I did, actually. I was out like a light when my tablet woke me up. How did you sleep?”
Ro cocked his head to the side. “I’ve yet to sleep. Something is keeping me alert, a sense of wrongness. That someone is not to be trusted in our midst. I was scanning footage all night long to see what it is that I can’t put my finger on. I will rest today and try again afterward on a clearer head. My extra abilities can help me sense things before I actually know what it is that I’m feeling.”
“That’s so interesting. Is it just a general sense, or do you feel it somehow physically?” We were so lucky to have him on our side. I knew how Canyon had come to us, or at least why he had, but what had driven Rohan to cross the galaxy and join up with a small group that wanted a better world?
He lifted up his hands. “First thing that happens is my fingers tingle.”
“So you had to learn to pay attention to that.”
He stopped walking. We were by the benches, and he sat on one. I had a few minutes, so I joined him. Rohan put his arm around me. “I noticed you, not because of the bad outfit they had you wear on that space station, but because you helped the other women before you took care of yourself. I noticed you. That looked like strength to me. And it radiates out of you. Makes you beautiful to me. I decided right there that I was in love with you, and I’d better figure out how to be enough of a normal guy that I could pursue you. I’ve been doing that ever since.”
I sighed. “Ro, I wasn’t being particularly brave or strong. And you certainly don’t have to change anything about yourself for me. I’m odd enough for both of us.”
“Someday I would love for you to be able to see yourself through my eyes. That being said, it’s my night to date you, assuming you want to.”
This was news to me. “There’s a schedule?”
“Apparently this is the best way to manage these things.” He got up. “Let’s walk so you’re not late. I’ll retrieve you at seven with an idea of something to do.”
That sounded great to me. “Okay, it’s a plan. I’ll see you later.”
Coffee in my hand, I went to work. Lewis was on that day and hypochondriacs felt very comfortable with him. He never rushed them or made them feel they were wasting his time. I knew we’d have a lot of appointments and drop ins. That was okay. It made the day go faster.
Lunchtime came fast, and it was the first time I’d sat with the crew of single women since the Sharon-Shannon incident with Jackson. No one commented on it when I joined them, and for a few minutes, I thought perhaps the whole thing would be forgotten.
I turned to Tina. “How has your research been going?”
She had been, for some time, working on how to make food processing more efficient on Tommy’s shuttles. She brightened when I asked, sitting up straighter. “Oh, I think we had a breakthrough and your brother says…”
“Her brother.” Shannon slammed her hand down on the table and everything jarred. I looked around. Had I missed something? Everyone went quiet, just like they always did whenever Shannon talked. I sighed. Clearly, all hadn’t been handled.
I met her gaze with my own. “What about him?”
&
nbsp; “He probably paid Ari to court you. I mean, let’s face it. There’s no other way. Not with you being you. There is no way that Ari Bennett would ever give two seconds of attention to you. You were right to call him out on it. Men like him don’t waste their time on women who should be off on an auction block somewhere.”
My body went cold and not because she’d insulted me. No one understood better than I did just what I looked like. I was tired of thinking about it. Jackson told me I was unforgettable, and I was going to go with that.
“Have you ever seen an auction block?”
No one answered me, and when Shannon looked left and right for support, what she got was a bunch of women staring at their plates.
I spoke again. “I was on an auction block. It is the single most horrifying place I’ve ever been. So much pain, so much suffering. The thing about it is, I wasn’t sent there because I was ugly. I was sent there because that was how little my father thought about me. How little he cares for women in general, I suspect. There were stunningly beautiful women on that block. I hope, if anyone ever sends you there, Shannon, that someone comes to rescue you.”
She jumped to her feet. “Ari Bennett is not interested in you. He is going to be mine.”
This was getting ridiculous. “I thought Jackson was going to be yours. Are they just all the same to you?”
“Waverly.” I turned at the sound of Ari’s voice. He was right next to me, watching this ridiculous scene. My cheeks turned red. I owed him such an apology.
“I was looking for you.”
I shook my head. “I was going to come find you this afternoon. I have to tell you that…”
Ari never let me finish. Instead, he strung his fingers into mine and tugged me against him. “Well, then let’s go talk, okay?”
I let him lead me away from the group. That was going to be the last time I ate with them. Tina I could go see on my own. I didn’t need this stress to eat my turkey soup.
Dark Demise: Wings of Artemis, Book Seven Page 10