"Not every woman is Ryan, Gareth," he answered in a serious tone. "You know that right? Do you want to be alone for the rest of your life?"
"Yes, damn it," I snarled back as I threw a baleful look at him, daring him to keep going with this subject and piss me off some more.
He shook his head, but thankfully didn't say another word on the subject for the rest of the morning. He knew I was full of shit. Deep down, I didn't want to be alone, but I wasn't willing to pay the cost it required. Nothing good could come of it, but heartache and emptiness. I'd never do that to myself again.
6
MALORY
"Hello, Alice," I murmured to the sleeping infant in my arms. "I'm Aunt Malory, and I'm going to spoil you rotten," I promised her quietly so I wouldn't wake up her mother.
I stared down at her in awe. My niece was beautiful, from her head of downy red hair to her teeny-tiny toes. She had a cute little button nose and heart-shaped lips. She was absolutely perfect.
"I think I'm in love," I said softly as I smiled down at her.
"I know I am," Andy said in a low voice from the chair beside me. He was grinning broadly at his little girl with a tender look in his eyes like I'd never seen before.
We were sitting in their room in the hospital as I held little Alice for the first time. Lydia was sound asleep in the bed next to us. I looked back down at this beautiful little person who shared a name with my mother. Now Mom would live on in this perfect baby girl. A few tears managed to leak out and slide down my cheeks.
"Thank you," I forced out in a voice hoarse with emotion.
"You're welcome," Andy replied in a similar tone as he put an arm around my shoulders. I glanced up to see his eyes were a little watery too. He knew exactly what I was thanking him for. Lydia told me that naming the baby Alice was his idea, and I loved him for it. I was so happy to have Andy as my brother-in-law.
He reached out and ran his fingertips gently across the baby's chubby little cheek. "I'm going to teach her all about cars, and that all boys are assholes who can't be fucking trusted," he said in baby talk as he grinned at his daughter. It was so sweet and so Andy, and I teared up a little again. "Isn't that right, Alice?"
He looked exhausted, and I think he needed to sleep too, but he was too enamored with his daughter. I don't think he'd stopped looking at her or touching her in some way for more than a few minutes since I'd gotten back here this afternoon. He was going to be a great father. I just knew it.
Wordlessly, I gave Alice to Andy. He cuddled her swaddled little body against his chest and let out a contented sigh as he stared adoringly at her. It was one of the sweetest things I'd ever seen.
It took all night long until little Alice decided to come out early this morning. I spent a sleepless stressful night here waiting for my niece to be born, but went home shortly after Alice's birth to get a few hours of sleep before coming back. I was so happy it was Sunday, and I didn't need to be anywhere but here with my family today. Who was I kidding? The real family here were Lydia, Andy, and Alice. Petty jealousy seeped up unwanted inside me.
I wanted a good man. I wanted a baby, which surprised me since I was here all through Lydia's horrifying labor. Now I sat enviously staring at my sister's little family, feeling like an ungrateful bitch. I closed my eyes and sighed in disgust with myself.
A soft snoring sound caught my attention, and I looked over at Andy again. He'd fallen asleep holding his baby girl. Good, he needed it. I stood and quietly left the room. I was in much need of some coffee and a breather.
I walked to the nearby waiting room, and poured myself some coffee before taking a seat in one of the uncomfortable chairs. I was tired, but not just from worrying about my sister and niece all night long. It was also because of a certain nameless man who had infected my brain since last night. I tried to will myself to get a grip as I sipped on the watered-down coffee that was better than nothing.
I spent half the nap I attempted to take when I went home this morning horny and frustrated, lying there wide awake thinking about the feel of his soft lips on mine, and that spectacular orgasm he'd given me. I kept thinking about how good it felt when he held me close, the scent of his sandalwood cologne, and the feel of his finger deep inside me.
I brought myself to an orgasm just to try to get back to sleep, but that only led to dreaming about him. I ended up awakening frustrated all over again. It had to be because we didn't get to finish what we started. It couldn't possibly be the man himself. He was definitely not the kind of man you had a relationship with. If we'd actually managed to have sex, I probably wouldn't be obsessing over him at all.
"Hi, kiddo," I heard a familiar male voice call out. I turned to see my father walking toward me.
My dad, Conor Burke was a tall broad-shouldered man with thick red hair and beard that were shot through with mostly gray now. I got my round face and freckles from him. He looked Irish through and through. His parents immigrated here just before he was born.
"Hi, Dad," I greeted him with a tired smile.
He sat next to me and threw an arm around my shoulders. "How are you holding up?" His blue eyes were filled with concern. "You look tired, Mal."
"I'm okay, Dad." I leaned into him. "It's been a stressful weekend."
"I'm glad Lydia's pregnancy is over." He sighed tiredly. "I've been worrying about her a lot."
"Me too." I wasn't surprised. He already lost Mom, and I know he feared losing anymore of his family. He wasn't the only one.
"Of course, now we have another person to worry about don't we?" he smiled warmly, but then it slipped away suddenly. "I wish your mother was here to see her." His eyes turned sad and lost. I nodded, feeling much the same. I grabbed his hand and squeezed it comfortingly.
Even though it had been five years, Dad still grieved deeply for Mom. They'd been a couple since high school, and they did practically everything together. To be honest, he'd never been the same since she passed. He used to smile and laugh a lot. Now it was few and far between. To be honest, the same could be said for me too.
"How are they doing?" Dad finally asked in a subdued tone.
"They were all asleep when I left a few minutes ago," I answered, grateful for the subject change. "I think Andy was running on fumes." I shook my head. "He pretty much passed out holding Alice."
"He better get used to going without sleep," he said wryly. "Burke girls are notoriously fussy babies." He eyed me sharply. "Especially you. My memories of your first year are a blur of sleepless nights and constant crying."
"I couldn't possibly have cried all the time, Dad," I denied vehemently.
"I wasn't talking about you." He actually smirked.
"You're hilarious, Dad." I rolled my eyes at him, even as I grinned.
He patted my knee as he stood. "I'm going to go visit our new munchkin again."
"I'm going to sit here for a little longer."
"Okay, kiddo." He nodded in understanding and walked away.
Dad understood that I often needed some solitude. It was just the way I was wired, and I'd never been the social butterfly that Lydia was. Fortunately, our parents had never expected either of us to be anything but ourselves.
No sooner had Dad walked away, then my brain went immediately back to thoughts of that hot sexy man in black. I closed my eyes and I could see his gorgeous face again, could hear his husky sexy voice as he told me to look at him when I came. I never experienced anything like that before. It was so intimate and erotic. The way his eyes turned almost black and blazed with desire had just done it for me, making my orgasm that much better. What would it have been like if we'd gotten further? What did he look like under that sexy as sin designer suit? I sighed. I'd never know.
Suddenly, my solitude felt intruded upon by someone who wasn't even here. I growled under my breath at the ridiculousness of it. I needed to get a grip, and I'd better do it before bed tonight. I was starting my new job tomorrow, and I was already tired from a long sleepless night and a crappy n
ap. I would not obsess over this guy for one more minute. I stood and marched resolutely back toward my sister's room. I was going to spend the rest of the day focused on my family and my future, not on some guy I would never see again. It was time to let it go.
**********
I stood in my closet Monday morning frowning as I surveyed my options. It was my first day at my new job, so I wanted to look nice, but it was so cold out that I needed to dress warmly. That nixed wearing a skirt. Today definitely called for layers, so I grabbed leggings, a long button-up blouse, and my favorite tweed blazer all in warm earth tones. I pulled it all on, then decided it needed my plaid infinity scarf. I wrapped it around my neck before slipping on my tall brown boots.
I went into the bathroom and pulled my red hair up into a soft messy bun. Then I put a little makeup on before slipping on my glasses. I stared into the mirror. It worked. I had a whole librarian chic thing going on. I nodded and headed to the kitchen for my coffee and breakfast.
I made myself a bowl of cereal and poured myself a mug of coffee. I took a seat at my kitchen island, since my dining table was covered with papers, books, and my laptop. It served as my work area for the last few years. Maybe it was time I actually used it for its intended purpose. I'd clean it off tonight.
I grabbed my latest book and began reading as I mindlessly shoveled my breakfast into my mouth. I'd gotten up early enough that I could spend a little time relaxing before I ventured out into the real world of work for the first time in years.
My quiet time was suddenly interrupted by a knocking on my door. I frowned, afraid I knew who that was. I was not in the mood to discuss that disastrous wedding, or my lack of sleep due to my obsessive and unending thoughts about the hot guy I almost slept with, but didn't. It was embarrassingly pathetic.
I sighed and went to my door, looked out the peep hole, and groaned. I opened the door to find Dean holding up a coffee for me and Willa with a bag of pastries. They were both grinning like morons.
"You look cute today," Dean announced as I took the coffee from him. He pushed past me into my apartment.
"Thanks," I replied.
"We wanted to make sure you were properly fueled for your first day," Willa said. She shoved the bag of pastries into my hands as she breezed in behind him.
"No," I said irritably. "You just wanted to see who won the bet."
Dean shrugged unapologetically, while Willa managed to look a little sheepish. I shook my head and wordlessly carried my new breakfast over to the kitchen island. I sat on my stool and pulled a delicious looking apple turnover out of the bag. I started eating it enthusiastically. It was really good after all. I could feel them watching me expectantly, and I fought a smile.
"Well?" Dean prompted.
"Well, what?" I asked sweetly with a slight smirk as I continued indulging in apple cinnamon perfection.
"Are you going to tell us or not?" Dean asked in exasperation as he threw his hands up.
"Come on, Mal," Willa cajoled. "We're dying here."
"Yeah," Dean chimed in irritably. "Quit dicking around and spill it already."
"Oh my god," Willa blurted out as her eyes suddenly widened. "You actually did it. You lost the bet, didn't you?"
Dean's eyes danced with triumph. "Our Mal bumped uglies with some hot stranger didn't she?" He clapped his hands together with glee. "I'm so proud of you," he gushed. "Our innocent little girl has finally turned into the slut we'd always hoped she'd be." He put an arm around a grinning Willa and pulled her close. They looked like proud parents at a PTA meeting.
I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "No uglies of any kind were bumped together in any way," I grumbled out. "Not for lack of trying anyway," I added under my breath.
"Trying?" Dean asked with a frown as they both looked at me in confusion.
"I let some gorgeous man finger me in a storage closet and then got pussy blocked by my unborn niece." I huffed out a frustrated breath. "So I won the goddamn bet."
They both stared at me in speechless wide-eyed shock for several moments.
"And my sex life is still a train wreck," I added pathetically as I shoved my apple turnover back into its bag and pushed it away, my appetite now gone.
"Oh honey," Willa said as she came over and rubbed my back gently.
"Just the little bit we did was amazing, and now I can't stop thinking about the guy." I sighed. "I'm a frustrated mess."
"Can't you call the guy?" Dean asked helpfully. "Maybe he'll even call you?"
"We didn't exchange numbers," I said disgustedly.
"If you got a hold of the guest list, you could probably find his number," Willa suggested.
"I don't even know his name," I murmured quietly, feeling embarrassed as I stared down at the Formica counter top in front of me.
"What?" Dean asked incredulously.
"We...we decided not to exchange names, have sex, then never see each other again," I admitted reluctantly. "But now I can't get him out of my head. The one time I try to have a one-night-stand, it gets ruined, and then I keep dreaming about the guy. It's so pathetic." I sighed. "It's not like we even had sex. It was just one orgasm for heaven's sake. Why do I even care?"
"You really liked him didn't you," Dean said as he came up beside me.
"No," I blurted out in denial. "He was rich, arrogant, and cocky. I have no interest in a man like that. It's been a long time and he was unbelievably hot. I got a taste of what I've been missing for so long, and this is just simple sexual frustration. It'll pass." At least, I hoped so anyway.
They both gave me dubious expressions that I chose to ignore since I was pretty sure my subconscious agreed with him.
"It doesn't matter," I said in tired resignation. "I'll never see the guy again anyway. It's probably for the best. I'm not wired for meaningless casual sex, and at least this way I won't be tempted to chase after some guy who's not interested in a relationship with me."
Dean put a gentle hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry." He sighed softly.
"Me too," Willa said in a subdued tone as she put an arm around me.
I looked back and forth between them in confusion. "Why are you guys sorry?"
"I feel like we kind of pushed you into it by planting the idea in your head," Willa said sheepishly. "The bet was a stupid idea. We never meant for it to push you into doing something you weren't comfortable with."
"It's not your fault," I said dejectedly. "I'm just desperate for sex. Thankfully, my niece's birth saved me from a big mistake." I looked at the wall clock. Shit, I needed to leave. "I have to go. I don't want to be late for my first day." I stood to leave.
"We love you," Dean said as he pulled me into a hug.
"We sure do." Willa joined in from the other side, and I felt smothered, but in a good way.
"I love you guys too," I said with a tired smile. If all else, I had the two best friends in the world. I needed to be grateful for the good things in my life, and not focus so much on what I lacked. "Alright, break it up you morons," I said facetiously as I wriggled free from their arms. "I have to go now."
I grabbed my things, and they both walked me down to my car in the parking garage. They wished me luck before I drove off, and I spent the drive to work feeling a little better about my disastrous sex life.
I made it to the office building and pulled into the parking garage a good fifteen minutes early, which gave me plenty of time to get to the eighth floor where Cooper Media's offices were housed. I felt nervous and excited as I joined a large group of people entering the elevator going up. I was fidgeting nervously from foot to foot as my phone beeped in my bag. I pulled it out and smile to myself. It was from my sister.
Good luck on your first day. We love you.
The text was accompanied with a selfie of Lydia and Andy, smiling happily with little Alice in my sister's arms. My sister remembered me, even though she just got home from the hospital last night, and she had to be tired. I grinned broadly. This was what was important, family, not some
guy who was too good looking for his own good. I was still smiling when I exited the elevator on my floor.
That was when I heard a familiar smooth yet husky male voice that stopped me in my tracks and wiped my smile away with a jolt. Standing just a few yards from the elevator with his back toward me was the man from the wedding, this time dressed in a navy suit that hugged his lean body to perfection. I'd know that voice anywhere since it'd been in my dreams constantly for the last two nights. I stared at his back in open-mouthed shock as I just stood there unmoving.
"I don't care," he said authoritatively. It was sexy as hell, and I had to suppress a shiver. "It doesn't change the fact that I won't be representing Leonard, now or ever. You'll have to find someone else, your honor. It won't be me."
Suddenly, as if he could feel my eyes on him, he turned and stared right at me. I watched shocked recognition flash across his eyes as his strong expressive brows practically shot up into his hairline. His surprised expression shifted instantly into something dark and predatory. He lowered the phone from his ear without another word, ending the call as his intense dark eyes pinned me where I stood. I suddenly felt ensnared in his penetrating gaze.
My breathing and heart rate unexpectedly spiked, and immediate desire pooled low in my pelvis in a warm rush. He raked me up and down with eyes that now burned black with lust as he unerringly noted my physical reaction to him. My face heated as I flushed in equal parts embarrassment and arousal. His face instantly split into a triumphant roguish grin that lit up his gorgeous face and sucked me in all over again, just like Saturday night. Holy crap, I was so screwed, and definitely not in a good way.
7
GARETH
"You're here awfully early."
I glanced up from my desk to see Elaine, my legal assistant, standing in the doorway of my office.
"I couldn't sleep," I grumbled out. "I gave up and came to work. I figured I might as well get something done if I'm awake anyway."
Dark Dominion: Dangerous Desire Book 1 Page 6