“And they’ll be auntie to ours?” Bob asked.
Mary frowned. “That too, I guess.” How was she going to be able to convince him that she wasn’t ready for babies, and she wouldn’t be for a while yet.
He took her hand and pulled her toward the dancing. “Let’s show them how it’s done.”
As much as Mary loved dancing with Bob, it wasn’t what she wanted at that moment. It didn’t take her long to start loving what they were doing, though, and soon she was laughing with pure glee as Bob spun her around the prairie. No one else danced quite like Bob did, and she loved it more than she could express.
When it was time for supper, everyone went their own way, but Ma fixed supper for Mary and Bob. “You’ll be back to helping me tomorrow,” Ma told her when she offered to help fix the meal. “Today is all about being married.”
“Yes, Ma.” Mary and Bob took their food to a small section of land and sat down to eat. There was no wedding cake, but Mary didn’t mind. She’d never planned to marry, so the lack of a cake meant nothing to her. Why should it?
As they finished eating, Bob said, “I’ll take the bowls to your mother to wash. Why don’t you get a blanket and we’ll go for a nice walk?”
Mary bit her lip. “Already? It’s just now supper time.”
Bob groaned. “We’re having a late supper. Most of the tents are up and people are sleeping. We’ll sleep together under the tent I brought with me tomorrow night. Tonight, we’re going to go make love. No more procrastinating, Mary.”
Mary nodded. It was time for her to do as she’d been told. She stopped at her family’s wagon and wrote in her journal, dragging out what she had to say to take a bit more time with it, and then she grabbed the blanket she usually slept under and her musket.
She couldn’t put Bob off for another moment, no matter how much she wanted to. She walked in the direction he’d gone, off to the south of the camp. She was glad he’d chosen to go where they’d already been, because she felt like she knew the dangers that way better than she knew the dangers any other.
She found Bob just outside of camp, and they continued walking until they were about half a mile away. “Why did we have to come so far from the others?” she asked. It didn’t make sense to her to go all that way.
“So, they don’t hear what we’re doing. I thought you’d like it better that way.”
Mary looked at him curiously. “Do you plan to be loud?” Why would anyone hear them? It simply didn’t make sense to her.
“I can’t promise either way,” he said.
“All right. How do we do this?” she asked, feeling stupid.
“Didn’t your mother talk to you about making love?” he asked.
“Yes, but she said to just close my eyes and let you do what you wanted, and then Hannah told me that her mother said the same thing, but that’s not what Jed wanted her to do. I’ve seen what cows do, but the heifers never look like they’re enjoying themselves, and I really don’t want to have babies right away.”
“All of that is going through your head right now?” he asked.
She nodded. “I’ve never been one to think simple thoughts. My mind starts running away from me, and I just can’t get it to calm itself down.”
He stroked her cheek. “Maybe we shouldn’t try to force anything,” he said. “How about we just kiss? We both like that.” As much as he wanted to just grab her in his arms and have his way with her, he knew she’d never be able to get over her fears if he tried. No, he needed to go slowly with her.
“We do like that. Are you sure that’s what we should do? Does kissing lead to the marital act? I’ve never seen the cows kiss.” Why couldn’t she get the stupid cows out of her mind? He was going to think she was crazy as a loon.
Bob chuckled. “Mary, I think it’s time for you to forget everything you’ve seen cows do, and everything your mother has told you. Just come over here and kiss me.”
Mary shrugged. “That I can do.” She walked the two feet between them and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him with everything inside her. When he responded, taking over the kiss and deepening it, she moaned softly against his lips. Why did it feel so good when he kissed her that way?
Soon they were plastered against one another, still kissing, and he stroked down her back, cupping her buttocks in his hands. “That’s something else the cows don’t do…” Mary said.
“I thought you were forgetting about the cows?”
“I just can’t stop thinking about how the bull mounts the cow. I only saw it a couple of times, but it just doesn’t seem pleasant.”
He shook his head. “Mary, my wife? You need to get over your obsession with cows so we can enjoy our wedding night.”
“Fine. I’ve stopped thinking about cows again.”
He sighed. “But you’ve ruined the mood. Why don’t we just lie down and go to sleep. There are other nights when we can consummate.” If he could get her mind off consummating, then he was certain they could make it work. She just had to stop thinking about cows.
“I think that’s a great idea!”
The woman was going to drive him batty with her talk of how cows reproduced. That was all right though. He had a couple of other tricks up his sleeve.
Five
April 19th, 1852
We’re camped on the Republican River tonight, and tomorrow we will try to make it to the Big Blue. The worry is that we won’t be able to make it the whole way and will have to camp without the benefit of water, which means there will be little wood as well.
The hope is that we can make the drive between rivers in one day, and we won’t have to start burning buffalo chips, though we know that will be part of our journey before the end. I don’t want to think of what it would be like to have to collect them, but I think that will be the children’s job when it’s time. They need to have chores on the trail, just like we do. They gather wood now, so they would be the ones to gather buffalo chips later.
It is strange being a married woman. I look at Bob and wonder how I ended up as his wife, and then I remember it was my father’s doing. He is a good man, and he’s not tried to order me around at all, but I’m sure that is coming. It seems to be what marriage is all about after all.
I look at this man and I know that he is a good one. I do. I just don’t know if I want to have babies as often as it looks like I will have to. I want my freedom to hunt and to work with the animals. I do not want to have to do so with a child attached to my breast, but I will if necessary. I’m not going to give up.
Mary settled herself on the ground, ready for sleep. She was thankful that Bob had agreed to not consummate the marriage, because she couldn’t stop thinking of the look on a cow’s face when she was mounted and bred. It wasn’t something she had ever intended to see, but it was definitely part of farm life.
No, it would be much easier now that Bob was ready to just settle down and sleep. The man seemed to have marital relations too much on his mind anyway. The act couldn’t be as wonderful as he seemed to think it would be.
She was surprised when Bob removed his clothes before getting under the covers with her, but she had never really noticed how he slept before. When he joined her, he pulled her close to him, and her head rested on his bare shoulder, which was very nice. She liked the feel of his skin against her cheek.
His hands smoothed over her back, and that was lovely as well. She was surprised at how very much she enjoyed it when Bob touched her. It simply felt good.
After a moment of his hands roaming over her back, he tilted her chin up, and he kissed her, more passionately than ever before. His tongue touched hers, and she gasped before wrapping her arms around him and kissing him back. It was different kissing with him naked, because she enjoyed the feel of his skin so much.
When Bob’s hand came around to cup her breast, she moaned softly. That felt very good. All at once, she wanted his hand right against her breast, and not through the fabric of her dress.
&nb
sp; She reached behind her and unbuttoned her dress so that he would have better access to her skin. His hand immediately slipped inside, and he rolled her nipple between her fingertips. “That feels so good,” she whispered to him.
“I’m glad.”
“I want to touch you as well. May I?”
He smiled and nodded. Mary was a passionate girl, as long as she wasn’t worried about cows, and he could feel her passions rising more by the moment. “Please touch me wherever you want.”
He was surprised, though he wasn’t certain why he would be, when her hand immediately went to his erection. She took it in her hand and stroked it, and then her finger was running over the head of it. He groaned loudly. Mary obviously took that as an invitation to stroke it more.
Mary was surprised at how very hard and thick his penis was. The bull penises she’d seen had been very different. She wanted her body to be closer to it, but she was still wearing her dress and petticoats. It was dark, so she stood up quickly and removed the dress before lying down beside him again. She pressed herself against him, loving the feel of his penis against her.
She initiated the next kiss, and it was her tongue that was the aggressor. Bob smiled against her lips, knowing that his plan was working just as he’d hoped. He’d wanted her to lie down and lose her inhibitions, and she had.
He moved his hand down to the junction of her thighs, and he stroked her right there, where his body wanted to join with hers. When she gasped and rolled to her back, spreading her legs to give him better access, he wanted to laugh aloud. The girl who minutes before was too afraid for this to happen was practically begging him to make love to her now.
He carefully slid one finger inside her and tried to bring her to the same level of passion he himself was feeling. It didn’t take long. When his mouth went to her breast and caught her nipple between his lips, she cried out. “I need something.”
He added a second finger, stroking both of them in and out of her tight depths. “How’s that?” he asked softly, his voice muffled by her breast.
“That’s not it…I don’t know what I need!”
He rolled atop her and carefully poised himself at the edge of her canal. He reached one hand down to guide himself to her, and gently started breaching her body.
Mary gasped as she stared up at him, just then realizing what was happening. He was making love with her, and he had tricked her into not thinking about cows. At the moment, she just couldn’t care though, because what he was doing was making her feel so good. Why had Hannah not told her it was this wonderful?
And then she felt a short flash of pain, and she wanted to yell, but he held still for a while, kissing her and stroking her. When he started moving again, she realized she really liked this thing he was doing with her. She only wished it didn’t have the consequence of babies.
When they were finished, he rolled to her side, and she rolled with him, her head pillowed on his shoulder. “I won’t worry about whether the heifer liked it anymore,” she said softly.
“I’m glad you’re not worried about the cows. I was afraid we’d spend the rest of our lives with you arguing with me and telling me the heifer didn’t like it.” Bob couldn’t help but grin. There was something very special about Mary that made him always smile.
“Now do we sleep? Or do we run back into camp naked as jaybirds and show them what we did?”
“I think sleep is the best option. I don’t want any of the other men to see what they’re missing by letting me be the one to marry you.” Bob couldn’t help but grin at her question. His Mary was something else, and so much more than anyone else realized.
She giggled a little as her eyes started to drift closed. “It was a good wedding day, Bob.”
“It was. Now we just have to make sure every day of our marriage is good.”
Mary nodded, not really caring what he’d said. It was time for her to sleep.
The next day, the camp moved along the Republican River some more, a place where they’d camped for a few days. It was hard for her to remember just how many, because she’d been busy being courted by Bob. And planning a wedding with her mother. And worrying about cows.
When she first joined Hannah for the walk, she was a bit embarrassed that her friend knew what she’d been doing, but it was pretty obvious that her friend wasn’t wanting to talk about it either. “I hope there’s nothing keeping us from moving today,” Hannah said. “It seems like we’ve started to have accidents and wagon trouble. We even started an hour late today because the livestock wandered away during the night. I just wish everything would run smoothly for a few days.”
Mary shrugged. “I think most of us feel that a journey like this will have those things.”
“Everyone but Captain Bedwell,” Hannah replied. The entire camp had been starting to get annoyed with Captain Bedwell and his adherence to scheduling. Two more people had fallen ill during the trip, and he’d refused to wait even a few hours to leave camp. No one in his family had been sick yet, so perhaps that was why.
As they walked, the three Henderson children, both of the Bolling children, and five of Mary’s younger siblings walked with them. The Henderson children were quite subdued, having just lost their mother a week before. The Bolling children had lost their father more than six months before, and they had mostly returned to being normal boisterous children. The Mitchell children were a different matter entirely. All of them would leave the trail to explore and they didn’t care if they were within sight of Hannah and Mary. They were treating this as an adventure.
The captain let them stop for the noon meal, which was good, because they had to bury another of their own. This was an unmarried man who few had much contact with, and the tears were less this time.
Hannah, once again, cried more than anyone else in camp. Mary was surprised. She seemed so strong, and yet she was the most emotional when there was a death. Mary knew the man, and had even interviewed him for a possible husband, but he’d grown sick shortly afterward and died quickly. That was the problem with cholera. You could be perfectly healthy one minute and in your grave four hours later.
Dwight Warner was from New Jersey, and he’d sold a farm and everything he owned, kissing his parents and sisters goodbye to go west and get some real land for himself. Mary wondered if the pastor or the captain would be writing a letter back to his parents to let them know of his demise, but then her mind again flitted to the next thing. Calming Hannah.
“We’ve lost two people from our train, both of them healthy people. Now we’re down two healthy people. How do we think we’re going to survive months and months on this trail when healthy people are dying?” Hannah asked, as tears streamed down her face.
Mary smiled at her friend. “We’re going to survive. I can just feel it in my bones.”
“Well, I hope your bones will speak to my heart, and there will be no more worry about death along this trail. I don’t know why it’s called the Oregon Trail. Wouldn’t the ‘Trail of Death’ be more apt?” Hannah shook her head. “I’m healthy. Jed is healthy. My friends on the trail are healthy. I need to look at the good and not the bad.”
Mary nodded. “You certainly don’t need to get as upset as we all know you’re capable of getting.” She was worried with every death, because of how upset Hannah got. This time did seem to be a bit easier though.
They traveled two hours longer than anyone had expected that night, because they’d taken an extra hour to dig a grave and they’d started an hour early. And everyone knew the captain was not going to let them slow down. Not one little bit.
For supper, families worked together that evening. Mary made enough biscuits to feed an army, while her mother cooked up some buffalo pieces. She made a pot of stew big enough for five families, and many shared their food rather than making something fresh. Margaret was one who ate with them, being too tired to make something to feed herself and her children. Mary worried about her having to do double work the whole way, but her friend never c
omplained.
As they all gathered around, Mr. Scott prayed over the meal. “Heavenly Father, we come before You to thank you for this food You have provided. We lost another of our own today, and we mourn his loss. Please wrap Your arms around him when You receive him, and make sure that he knows we have not forgotten him here on earth. In Christ’s name we pray. Amen.”
There was a chorus of ‘amens’ throughout the group, and they all ate, but most ate with somber looks on their faces. Losing two on the trail in less than a month seemed like too many to most of them.
Mary noticed Hannah and her husband walking off away from the group, and she knew that the pastor was helping Hannah work through the intense sorrow she felt with every death on the Trail. She watched them until they disappeared from view, thinking that she wished she had the answers for her friends, but no one really did. The sadness that came with death was one that no one could explain or alleviate. She didn’t know if it would always be that way, but it was a sadness then.
Mary walked to Bob, wondering if she should try to help others, but she decided she could let herself mourn that evening. “I’m going to help Ma with the dishes, and then you and I can go off and find a private place to talk.”
“Talk? I hope that’s a special name for something I’d rather do with you.” Bob smiled at her, caressing her cheek. He was thrilled that she’d enjoyed lovemaking as much as she had, and he couldn’t wait for darkness to fall, so they could enjoy each other again.
“I suppose it is!” She smiled at him over her shoulder as she walked away and went to help her mother with the dishes. She knew Bob only wanted marital relations from her, and now that she’d experienced them, she certainly couldn’t blame him. First, though, she needed to help her mother.
Together, she and her mother did the dishes, and she was silent as her mother ranted about the dangers of the trail. “Two of your siblings injured in accidents. Two outside of our family dead and another ill. How we’ll ever survive this trip from hell, I will never know.”
Mary's Musket (Clover Creek Caravan Book 2) Page 6