No Shame

by Nora Phoenix

  “Would you? I don’t even know where you live, or what you do for a living,” Miles said.

  Brad exhaled. He’d have him for a little while longer, thank fuck. Still, he was so not answering that last question. The guy would be bored to death in seconds. Besides, he wanted to pleasure Miles, not become BFFs. This could never be about more than sex, about Miles’ need to come and Brad’s own sick need to please.

  “I live pretty close to their house, ten minutes maybe? But I’m staying in one of their guest rooms right now with Charlie, my best friend. He was assaulted, and needed a place to recover. So it wouldn’t really be a bother.”

  Miles looked him straight in his eyes, those misty blue eyes demanding truth. “And you are absolutely certain you don’t mind doing this? I respect your privacy, but consent is a big deal for me.”

  Brad nodded vehemently. “I love it, I swear.”

  “And your friend Charlie, he won’t mind either? I don’t know if you two are…”

  “We’re just friends,” Brad assured him, though he had to force himself to keep his eyes level when he said it. Of course, he and Charlie weren’t mere friends. Charlie had wanted more from the beginning, but Brad had always kept him at a distance—at least in that sense. Charlie deserved more and better. But all that was kinda unnecessary to explain to the Fed, wasn’t it? Need to know, and all that. “And he knows, and he’s fine with it.” That part, at least, was true.

  Miles’s face softened. “In that case, yes, please. Your mouth or your hands, it doesn’t matter, as long as I come. If you can play with my ass at the same time, even better. A dildo is perfect, or your fingers, whichever you prefer. The more often you make me come and the more intense my orgasm, the longer I’ll last, but I will never put pressure on you to do more than you want to, or feel comfortable with.”

  The sheet around his groin was tenting, evidence of his massive hard on. Brad felt himself stir, a rare occasion, though it died down quickly. “I’ll bring lube next time,” he said. “Didn’t want to do that without your consent.”

  Miles hand reached out to touch Brad’s hand, sending a spark through his body. “Brad, you can do anything to make me come. Anything. Unless I explicitly say no, anything is fine. My need to come trumps any shame or embarrassment I have.”

  Brad’s mouth dropped slightly agape. Was the guy serious? Hmm, they would have to see if he meant it. Maybe “anything” meant something else entirely to the agent than it did to Brad.

  His skin burned where Miles was touching him. “I’d love to suck you right now, if that’s okay.”

  Miles’ eyes burned into his. “Lock the damn door.”

  Brad jumped up, locked the door. When he turned around, Miles had kicked down the sheets and was shimmying out of his pajama bottoms, his forehead frowning with effort and probably a bit of pain.

  “How many do you need right now?” Brad asked.

  “As many as you can spare. I’m on the edge, so the first one should be easy.”

  Brad licked his lips. “Okay.”

  He reached out for that perfect cock, all ready and glistening against Miles’ stomach. It was weeping already, so eager for his touch. He circled it with his hands, admired the fierce head, almost purple in its desire to come. A thick drop of precum pearled on the top, and he swiped it with his thumb, used it to wet the crown.

  How much pressure did Miles like? He’d have to find out. He circled the base with one hand. Grabbed the top of his cock with his other hand and started rubbing. Up, down, increasing in pressure.

  “Ohhh,” Miles let out. “Fuck. Little harder. Yeah, like that. Oh, dammit.”

  He groaned low and deep, and his cock exploded in Brad’s hand. The guy hadn’t been kidding that he was on the edge. Thick ropes of cum flew onto Miles’ belly. Brad didn’t miss a beat, swiped some of it with his fingers while he kept jacking Miles off with his other hand.

  “Raise your legs,” he said, smiled when Miles obeyed without delay, though with careful moves. His index finger found Miles’ hole, eased inside, aided by the man’s own cum. His left hand jacked off, his right hand finger fucked his ass. Being ambidextrous really had advantages.

  He swiped more cum off the man’s belly to wet his cock, which made jerking off so much more pleasant. You could use lube, sure, but there was something inherently dirty about using cum. Miles didn’t seem to mind. He had his eyes closed and let out a stream of soft moans and groans. Brad’s insides sighed with content. He was doing this. He was bringing this gorgeous man pleasure.

  Miles’ tight channel eased around his finger, signaling he was ready for more. Brad added his middle finger, turned his hand to find that spot. He fucked, felt, fingering him until he found that slightly spongy spot that was just a little different to the touch than the surrounding area. He hit it straight on, jacked him off hard with his other hand.

  Miles let out a loud curse. “Fuckohfuckohfuckohfuck.”

  Yup, he’d found it, alright. He repeated his move, and the man’s cock went off like a rocket, squirting fluids all over Brad’s face. Brad licked a drop of cum off his lips, smacked.

  “Oh, shit, sorry,” Miles panted, his face falling. Did he think Brad would be upset over cum in his face? He got off on shit like that. The dirtier it got, the better.

  Brad responded by burying his face in Miles’ crotch, nuzzling his balls. Miles’ hands came up to touch his hair, as he’d done before. Brad loved it when those big hands caressed his curls. The slight pressure of Miles’ hands added to the sensation of being used.

  He proceeded to lick Miles clean, his fingers still knuckle deep into the man’s ass. Miles was definitely not a top only, because he’d taken Brad’s fingers with ease and had obviously loved having something in his hole. Brad filed that information away. He held his fingers still for now, wanted Miles to concentrate on something else.

  Those big balls were a perfect fit for his mouth. He took the right nut in, sucked gently. Miles gasped, increased the pressure on Brad’s head. Hmm, he liked that, huh? Brad smiled with his mouth full of testicle, let it slip out. He licked around it a few times for good measure, because, damn, the man tasted so good. Sweaty, musky, all male. He doted on the other nut with the same attention, licked it even more, because he couldn’t get enough of it.

  Miles was thrashing on the bed by now, his head rolling left and right, his hips bucking every now and then. Those strong hands were digging into Brad’s skull, begging him to finish it.

  He took mercy on him, took him into his mouth, sucking him all the way in until his balls hit his chin. He never gagged, courtesy of a lot of practice. Then again, he’d never had much of a gag reflex to begin with. Miles’ hips came off the mattress as he thrust into Brad’s mouth, probably without realizing it. Brad echoed the move, thrusting into Miles’ ass with his fingers.

  Miles moaned obscenely loud, fucked his mouth again. Brad did the same in his ass. Fingers dug hard into his skull, as Miles fired off hard thrusts, Brad doing his best to keep up. It wouldn’t take long anyway, not when…Miles’s body tensed up completely, his legs and arms stiff as a board.

  “Fuuuuuuuuck…” he moaned, as his cock spurted out his third load. Brad swallowed happily. Hmm, next time he wanted to swallow the first load. This was way more translucent, less tasty.

  Miles fell back on the mattress, his hands sliding off Brad’s head. The man was done. Good.

  Brad cleaned him up as best as he could with his mouth, slowly pulled his fingers from that tight heat. He’d brought baby wipes, as he had before, because they were the easiest way to clean Miles, since he couldn’t very well shower yet. Brad didn’t want to leave any traces for the nurses washing him. He took them from his jacket, cleaned Miles nice and fresh, including swiping his hole to remove the last traces of cum.

  The dirty baby wipes still clutched in one hand, Brad pulled Miles’ bottoms over his bare ass and flaccid cock. He’d rarely seen it so peaceful. Three orgasms must have done the trick. When he l
ooked up, Miles was staring at him. Brad jolted, as if stung. Somehow, he’d expected Miles to be asleep again.

  “Thank you,” Miles said.

  Brad licked his lips, couldn’t help it. “You’re very welcome.”

  He threw the wipes in the waste basket, washed his hands in Miles’ bathroom. He threw some water on his face, washing off the remnants of cum, patted it dry with a paper towel. There, all presentable again. No one who’d see him would have any idea of what he’d done.

  Miles was as good as asleep when he stepped out. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  * * *

  Two more days before Josh got home. Indy couldn’t fucking wait. The reunion with Noah had been truly special, and they still had a hard time not touching each other when they were together, but there was a Josh-shaped hole in Indy’s heart and his life.

  He’d come back, expecting to find Josh home with Noah, but instead Noah had told him about Josh's stay in the clinic. Apparently, he’d had a brutal breakdown there during his stay, causing him to extend his treatment. He’d been gone for over five weeks now, and Indy couldn’t even imagine what Josh had been through. Indy himself hadn’t seen Josh in almost three months, and it was killing him.

  Indy had thought Connor’s disappearance had been a ruse when Miles told him about it back in Kansas, but Noah had assured him it was real. The cop had actually broken up with Josh on the day Indy had gone into protective custody. It went against everything Indy had believed about Connor, and even now, he had a hard time understanding what had moved Connor to do it. Had he felt threatened by Noah’s friendship with Josh after all? He had to have known Josh would’ve never done anything without Connor’s approval.

  No wonder Josh had experienced a rapid deterioration in his mental health. Losing Connor must have been a devastating blow for him. Josh had loved the cop with all his heart, of that Indy had no doubt.

  For a second, when he heard the news about the sniper shooting, Indy had thought Josh was behind it. It was too much of a coincidence, what with Josh being a sharpshooter who could pull it off and all. But when Noah had told him about Josh's stay in the clinic and about his psychotic breakdown, Indy had chalked it up to coincidence after all. He would have been too hopped up on meds to make sense, let alone to plan an attack like that. It had to have been someone with a gripe against the Fitzpatricks. Fuck knew the list of people who hated them was miles long.

  What would Josh be like when he got back? Vulnerable, probably. Indy vowed to take care of him the best he could. Maybe they could…

  The doorbell interrupted his thoughts, and his heart rate jumped. Noah had gone to physical therapy a few minutes before, Brad was at work, and Charlie was in his room doing fuck knew what. It was okay. He could open the door. The danger was gone, but it took some getting used to. It was fine, he told himself.

  He walked over to the front door and opened it. His heart dropped, then jumped right back up when he saw him. He didn’t even think, launched himself right at him.

  “Josh!”

  Josh opened his arms wide, caught Indy with ease. Indy wrapped his legs around his waist, held on to him for dear life, as Josh’s hands circled him to hold him close. He breathed in his smell, put his cheek against Josh’s. It was like a missing piece of his heart slipped back into place.

  “God, I missed you so much,” he whispered in Josh’s ear.

  Josh hugged him as if he never planned to let him go. “I missed you like crazy.”

  They held each other for maybe a minute before Indy leaned back to look at him. “How are you?”

  He narrowed his eyes when he took in Josh’s clear eyes, the slight flush on his cheeks, his swollen lips.

  Josh lowered him carefully to the ground, shot him a look of love. “I’m good,” he said. “I’m doing really good.”

  “You just got fucked,” Indy said slowly. “And it wasn’t Noah, because he’s off to therapy. Plus, he wouldn’t have done it without telling me. But there’s no way you would sleep with anyone else, which means…Connor is back?”

  Josh smiled. “I told you he would figure it out!” he called over his shoulder.

  Connor stepped into view from beside the house, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Hi Indy,” he said. “It’s good to see you back home.”

  Indy’s head dazzled. Josh looked way too healthy for someone who just had a major breakdown, even if he had stayed in the clinic for a few weeks afterward. And Connor didn’t look guilty at all, which he should have if he really had broken up with Josh. Which meant that he hadn’t, that he’d only pretended, because…why? What reason could Connor have to pretend to break up with Josh and go back to Boston?

  Indy looked from Josh to Connor, and it clicked.

  “Oh, damn… It was you.”

  Tears filled his eyes, and he lifted his hands to cup Josh's cheeks. “You did this for me, for us.”

  Connor stepped in, and Indy dragged his eyes away from Josh to look at Connor. “And you helped him. I don’t know how you did this, how you set it up, but it was you. Both of you.”

  Josh placed his own hands on top of Indy’s, looked him straight into his eyes. “We’ll never talk about this ever again, you hear me? Ever.”

  Indy blinked. “But Noah, he’ll…”

  “Noah won’t know. He won’t figure it out like you did, because he doesn’t see me like you do. In his eyes, I’ll always be the weaker one, the one who needs protection. It’s you and Connor who see me differently.”

  Indy realized at once how accurate Josh's statement was. Noah loved Josh with all he had, but Josh was right. Noah would never be able to fully let go of his protectiveness toward him, developed over years of having his back. He would’ve never thought Josh was strong enough for this—but he was. He had been. Josh had done the only thing that set Indy free.

  “God, Josh, you saved me. What you did—“

  “Was nothing more than what you did for me by going after my attackers. And we both did it for ourselves as much as we did it for the other. You belong here with us, Indy. We belong together, as a family, and I would have done anything to make that happen.”

  Indy nodded, tears still streaming down his face. Josh kissed his forehead, then let go of his hands. Indy dropped his hands from Josh’s cheeks, turned to Connor. He hesitated for a second, then opened his arms and hugged the big man. Connor’s arms came around him, and soft lips pressed a kiss on his head. “It’s wicked good to see you back home, kid,” Connor said, his voice a little hoarse.

  Indy released him, stepped back. “What explanation are you gonna give Noah for your return?”

  Connor and Josh shared a quick look. “Undercover work for the Boston PD, which is sort of true. Don’t ask me for details, Indy, because I’ll never tell, but I was in Boston the whole time, working on the Fitzpatricks’ case. If Noah asks, we can tell him I helped collect the evidence against them used in the raids.”

  Indy nodded. “That’ll work. I don’t think Noah will get suspicious.” He looked from Connor to Josh. “Does Connor know…” Hid voice trailed off. Maybe he should’ve asked Josh this in private. Damn. That fucking filter of his was still not functioning.

  “Yeah. I knew Connor wasn’t really breaking up with me, and he gave me permission to let Noah fuck me, when necessary. It was, both for Noah and for me. God, Indy, I’ve never seen him in such a dark place. It scared me. Losing you, he took it hard.”

  “I know. I wish it had been differently, but I don’t know what else I could have done. And thank you, for taking care of him.” Indy suddenly remembered, slapped his forehead. “Oh, shit. Miles is coming to stay. And we have Brad and Charlie here as well, with Brad’s dog, Max.”

  Josh's eyes widened. “They’re still here? And who the fuck is Miles?”

  Indy quickly caught them up on what had gone down in Kansas and what the deal was with Miles, including his condition. He figured it would be wise, especially with Connor around. Josh wouldn’t care, but Connor’s reac
tions weren’t always predictable yet to Indy.

  “Miles is a great guy, honestly. Be careful, though. He’s smart. Really smart. The guy’s got a degree in psychology, and he’s fucking sharp. Don’t even drop a hint, because he’ll catch on.”

  Josh sighed. “Well, great.”

  Indy’s shoulders hunched. “If I’d known Connor would be coming back, I would’ve never invited him.”

  Josh bent over, kissed his head. “It’s fine. We’ll make it work.”

  “It’s a lot of people, though,” Connor said.

  Josh smiled. “Then that twelve-seat massive dining table I ordered for the kitchen will come in handy, won’t it?”

  “I had a different purpose in mind for that table,” Connor growled.

  Indy laughed. “We christened it for you. Noah and I are happy to report it’s sturdy and at the perfect height.”

  Josh spontaneously hugged him again. “God, it’s so good to see you, hear your voice.”

  “Why are we still standing outside? Let’s go in,” Connor said.

  4

  This could either be the biggest mistake of his life, or the best decision he’d ever made. Only time would tell which one it was, but Miles had to admit he was a little apprehensive as he sat in the back of Noah’s car.

  “Let’s go home,” Indy had said. Miles envied him that, a sense of truly being home somewhere. He’d lost that feeling when he’d lost his parents and sister, had never regained it. His apartment in DC was not even close to being a home. It could have been a hotel—it sure felt like it to him at times.

  Noah and Indy’s house would be different, he was sure. Indy had made another reference to them being very open about sex. Miles wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but at least he didn’t have to fear a negative reaction about Brad helping him.

  Which he would around five, according to plan. Apparently, he had to work late—he’d said something about a meeting—but after that, he’d promised to help Miles. Help. Now, there was a nice euphemism.