So this big “mean” doberman walked side by side with April up to the main desk to see Sandra, the dog wasn't even on a lead, he didn't have to be he was besotted with her just like I was. Instantly I knew he would never leave her side, just like i would never leave her side.
Sandra’s face was a picture once she saw who we had chosen , before even saying a word she bent down to him and said “ oh Dodger, waiting all these years was tough on you boy. But I knew there was someone special coming for you.” she placed a light kiss on the top of his head and then made us sign some paperwork to officiate things and so on. Whilst I filled out the paperwork i overheard Sandra telling April his background story, turns out they had a lot more in common than I originally thought. “ He was only a year old when we found him, he had lost a lot of hair. It was clear he had been beaten by the marks all across his body, they were not dog fighting wounds these were man inflicted and well he hasn't trusted anyone since. You two obviously need each other , he sees it, i see it and Orion sees it.”
The car journey home was like no other, the sheer happiness which was beaming from April was worth everything, i just couldn't get over how much this dog instantly fell in love with her, just like i think i am beginning too.. i really don't know who i'm turning into, this girl has changed me from someone i was so set on being, to the complete and utter opposite. Never in my life did i think i would of been so thoughtful to get someone a dog, and not just as a gift but for something much more. Now when i wake up in the morning my thoughts are instantly with her, her innocent smile comforts me when worry creeps in. I put her first, my life before April seems so dull. unfulfilled. The scary thing is i thought i was having the best time of my life, top of my game, money pouring from my ears, sweet ass cars and girls dropping at my feet. When in fact i was missing the only thing i needed, yet i didn't even know i needed her until she came into my life. Dare i say we will live happily ever after? Like some sweet disney film, the young kids with troubled pasts, finding true love and live a life full of honey and roses.
April
I’ve had one of the most emotional days ever, before we left the house i was so anxious, Orion had been so distant and cold. But he had asked me to trust him so i did. Funny i trust this guy i've known just over a week with my life, crazy isn't it. But within that time, he’s given me nothing but honesty and trust and well that's all you need in a person. That's all i want and when i began to doubt that today, my heart was sinking i felt like someone had their hands around my heart and they were just squeezing it to the point where it was about to explode but it never did. Give it 5 more minutes and it could've been a possibility but before we got to that situation, I saw a sign. A sign which restored all hope and faith i just so quickly lost. He had brought me to a dog rescue. Of all the years i had moved around to new houses, new hell holes, all the times i had been alone, frightened in my room waiting for whatever mood Ty would be in. i would wish for one thing, a dog. A companion. Something to be there no matter the situation, to guide me through the darkness. However with my mom being absent for pretty much my whole life, Ty being Ty , there really is no other way to describe him and me being unable to provide or even want to put a dog into the same situation as i was in, there was no possibility of me getting that companion i’d always dreamt of. After plenty of tears I think all the anxiety that had built up from the trip here finally released and some that was then followed by major reassurance from Orion we finally made it inside, little did I know he had been here as a teenager. We were both shocked to discover the lady who use to look after Orion whilst his foster parents were too busy to care for him, was sitting behind the desk, as frail as anything but her heart of gold shined through like she was 22 again. Once she recognised Orion under his beautiful tattooed body the warmth in her face was unforgettable, how i wish my mom would get that excited to see me. She gave us free reign of the shelter, reminding us that a dog will choose us we don't choose it. I didn't fully understand what she meant, that was until i had lost all hope, i was tired, deflated and gutted. We had been to two out of the three barns which where full off kennels. Not one dog in there grabbed me, yes they were all adorable, puppys galore. But there wasn’t one which i wanted to sit next to me on a bad day and give me that unconditional love. That was until we walked into the third barn, the most run down barn, it was quiet in here, not every kennel was occupied but four Kennels in and there he was curled up in the corner looking ever so sorry for himself. There in the corner of the kennel with his back to the door, was a doberman. I'm not sure what it was but as soon as I laid my eyes on him I knew he was special. After some sweet talking and much needed patience. He finally turned to me, unsure but intrigued he edged closer, the slight twitching of his stubby tail was a good sign. i wanted him to trust me, like i instantly trusted him, i turned to Orion asking him to unlock the door with his golden key. Before he even fully opened the door I was being smothered in kisses, like i was seeing an old friend for the first time in years. I was flooded with emotion and i simply can't explain the feeling. It was instant and it was forever. I spent a little while letting him get used to me, which in fact was just allowing him to lick me as much as he wanted to. He was interested in Orion but just not as excited as he was with me, he gave Orion an approving lick and just like that he was mine. There was no way in hell I was going to be leaving without him , to think of it he must of had the same idea as he didn't leave the side of my leg all the way up to the main desk where we greeted Sandra for the second time today. She was over the moon with the choice we had made, or should i say Dodger made. My eyes kept wandering to Orion who was just watching me in utter fascination. For the first time in a long time, I had no worries. I was happy, I was content. if everyday was like this I wouldn't complain. I’d never get sick of feeling this way, I'd never tire of the sight of his face and i would never leave his side.
The journey home i sat on the back seat of Orion’s huge Jeep, with Dodger curled up right by my side, . I was so overwhelmed it had caused me to feel absolutely shattered my body was finally relaxing from the rollercoaster of a day or should i say week? I swiftly fell asleep. I remained asleep for the whole journey because it was only when Orion was trying to move Dodger off my lap to carry me inside i woke up, he had been trying to be so quiet and gentle but there was no moving me with this big doberman guarding over my body. I burst into laughter which surprised Orion because he jumped and slammed his head into the door frame, springing to life i bolted up to see if he was okay, laughter sprang from the both of us, we laughed and we laughed some more. What was even funnier was the fact that the situation well and truly wasn't that funny in the first place but we both just couldn't stop laughing, Dodger was just sat aimlessly watching our hysterical breakdown probably thinking ‘stupid humans’.
I climbed out the car, swiftly followed by my Dodger, he really did follow my every move. Orion shook his head in disbelief. “ I've taken the shopping in babe, i’ll be in , in a minute”. I proceeded into Orion’s beautiful beach house, to find he had been in the pet store whilst I slept and chosen all of Dodgers necessities. Nice big green bed, few toys and bowls etc. There sat on the dining table was 12 yellow roses. I couldn't stop this smile growing on my face. How had I gone from living everyday in fear not knowing what the day would bring to having someone worship the ground I walked upon, love me for me, not pry into my house of horrors , not ask questions i didn't want to answer, not judge me and finally and most importantly not leave me. He had been there ever since I met him nearly two week ago and now i couldn't imagine my life without him now.
I settled Dodger in his comfy new bed in front of the fireplace, he must have never had one of these because the moment he laid down i was certain he wasn't going to ever want to move again as he wiggled his body all around it as if it was the first time he had ever laid down before and when I moved away from him he just stayed there all snuggled up, appreciating the bed and the warmth something so simple but compared to a cold dark kenne
l this must feel like heaven. When i moved away Dodger stayed asleep so i knew he was happy. Orion soon came back through the door carrying more bags off dog toys, I just looked at him in amazement. “ look i wasn’t sure which one’s you would've chosen and i didnt have it in me to wake you so i just got one of each” a small chuckle left my mouth. Many would take a look at Orion and think hes a big muscled tattooed troublemaker, but to me he’s everything i could of ever wished for and more. I caught him studying my face, trying to work out what i was thinking. Before he had a chance to ask me i stepped closer to him, His gaze slowly rising to meet mine, his deep green eyes pulling strings in my heart. Causing my breath to hitch so intensely, i couldn't cope much longer. That was it, as i slowly leaned in closer till his lips met mine with more intensity than ever before, as our lips where colliding i felt the world around me fall away, time had stopped and i never wanted it to start again, i wanted to be consumed by this moment for the rest of my life, it was slow and soft but filled with passion, lust and dare i say it love. His hand slowly tracing down my spine, pulling me closer to his chest until there was no space left between our bodies all that was there was heat , passion and the beating of two hearts becoming one. I was desperate, our soft slow kiss had turned into something more ravenous as i scrambled to undo the buttons on his shirt, however i wasn't quick enough as he got impatient, erratically lifting it over his head. If i was strong enough i would of ripped the damn thing off of his body. His lips moving down my neck as he gently ran his hands through my hair, giving it a gentle tug every now and then. His fingers gliding against my skin, sending bolts of electricity throughout my body, he backed me up against the wall as he removed his shirt from my body, yes i was still wearing his clothes. I stood with my back against the wall the words “Don't stop” slipped out. There i was standing in my bra and panties my body quivering under his slightest touch, screaming for what was coming next, as his hands searched my back looking to undo my bra, the faint sound of his phone vibrating on the kitchen counter stopped him in his tracks. The moment he realised his work phone was ringing the mood was broken, like a disappointing firework the moment had well and truly fizzled out within seconds. He knew it , i knew it. As i reached for my top, i reassured him, “Its fine, go get it” as his work phone continued to vibrate, but deep down part of me had wished he had chosen to put me first.
Disappointed I quickly retreated to the ensuite bathroom in my room, before he had even reached his phone to answer it. I needed a cold shower to calm me down as my body was far from calm right now. As the cold droplets hit my skin I went into shock , unsure whether this was the brightest idea as I felt like I was well and truly losing all control over my body. Before things got even more intense a breath of relief escaped me as the cold water overrode my sexual tension and my mood had officially been dampened. Literally.
Orion
The moment had been so natural, intense and dam right sexy. The tension had slowly been building from the second I laid eyes on her then all of a sudden within moments it had become too much, my body was begging to feel hers against mine.
The passion had became erratic and inpatient within seconds and we were practically ripping the clothes off each other, hungry to finally be able to taste what I've been craving. But the sound of my phone vibrating had ruined everything, the moment , the evening and the sex just before it was about to get down and dirty.
I have two phones, my phone and my work phone. If it was my phone i wouldn't of given two shits. But if its my work phone, i need to give two shits and more. My work phone is for emergencies only and well lets just say over the past 4 years I've had it ,it's only ever rang 3 times. As much as i didnt wanna leave April in the hot mess I had put her in, I had no choice. I had to answer this call. Although i wish i never had now, the news that was received from this call was nothing more than a bloody fucking nightmare.
One of the girls who does the drug drop for our A-list clients had overdosed on the drugs we had given her, she was found in our clients bathroom with the drugs, what was worse was the fact she had heroin on her. Now yes technically we are drug dealers but we only deal in two types, Cocaine and Cannabis. Its natural and untampered with, yes it’s a drug but its not mixed with all that dangerous stuff. We know what's in it and so do our clients. so why the fuck was she carrying that nasty stuff around. Something was going on and this just confirmed it loud and clear. This was messy, not only were we in hot water , our client was now dealing with the cops, investigators and also the media. The reason we earn the money we do is because our clients don't necessarily pay for our product, they pay for our service. We are discreet as can be and because of this our clients don't care about how much money they spend, they just wanna let loose and not worry. This is our service. This is my business, for years I have worked my ass off to get where I am today and I can tell you one thing that's clear, this, this wasn’t what it looked like, this had Ty written all over it, i know he dabbled in dealing heroin in the past, his life, his choice but if he thinks for one minute i'm going to let this fly in my business he has another thing coming.
I’d held back my feelings with Ty, I didn't know the full situation between him and his sister, i didn't like what I saw but I didn't want to be getting involved in something I knew little about. When he never showed when she was in hospital, that showed a lot, pissed me off a lot too, but I let it go. Not my place, When he struck fear into his sister, fear I'd never seen on ones face before, it horrified me, I felt ashamed to witness her treading on eggshells around him, I had thrown a few punches and the situation had not been spoken of since. He worked for me, he knew his place and if he thought for one minute i was to apologise for his actions then he needed a reality check, because I wouldn’t do that even on my deathbed. My blood was boiling thinking about it, it all made sense now. I had finally seen him come to his true light and boy was I pissed.
I had no chance to think, no chance to strategize or think things over. I was angry, i had been holding off from doing this for a while now, far too long really. I just didn't want to believe the guy I had worked with for so long, even began to call my friend at one point was in fact a dangerously manipulative psychopath putting it lightly.
Quickly grabbing a comfy shirt and slipping some boots on , I peered into check on April the shower was running so I just left a note on the side of the bed,
I’ve had to go out Red, Don't wait up for me.
X
As I slammed the door of my Mustang, a brief wave of regret ran over me about the note I had left April, knowing it was so blunt she would most likely be worried but i had to put that aside right now. I sped through the deep glow of night , reaching unimaginable speeds, Which was fueling my rage just that little bit more. My adrenaline was pumping and there was only one way this night was going to go and I tell you this, it was not going to be pretty.
That was the plan anyway because when I rocked up to Aprils old house or also known as Ty’s current shit hole in the making,
I swear, Every Time I turn up to this place, which isn't often, 3 times exact. It had just deteriorated into something like a wilting flower which was rapidly decaying.
I parked a block down the road just because I didn't want Ty to know i was here before I knocked on the door because that motherfucker then has time to strategize and I wanted the full element of surprise. But, Who would've thought that tonight , i would be the one getting the biggest surprise of them all.
As I walked up the sidewalk, on the opposite side of the road I stopped, trying to steady myself, thinking of the best way to handle this rather than go in all hot headed like I wanted to , I needed to be smart about this, But by the time i was ready to cross over to his side of the street. A Rusty black car was screeching its way down the road stopping me in my tracks, little did I know this car was going to pull onto the drive, I also didn't expect Ty to walk out to greet whoever was in the mystery hunk of junk. Lastly i did not expect for one minute the person who was going to g
et out of that vehicle to be my fucking dad.
Time felt like it had stopped, my jaw had hit the flaw with such horror. I felt like i was in some sick joke and this was the punchline. I froze, watching in pure shock, unaware my presence would be highly noticeable if they bothered to look my way but they didn't they were to busy exchanging words. For a slight moment i saw Ty looking vulnerable. His leg was twitching nervously as he awaited what I assume was for approval. Now we all know Ty is unpredictable, many would say he’s the worst type of trouble out there. But no , no he is not, Ty is trouble and he knows it, do you want to know what the worst type of trouble there is? The kind you don't expect. The one who plots behind your back, plays the victim, the one you would never expect to stoop so low. The worst kind of trouble comes from those closest to you, the ones who act as if they will always be there for you but those are the ones who throw you under the bus for any self gain. Those are the ones who will leave you on christmas morning outside a children's home with nothing more than a coat. No clothes no money , no reason and lastly no goodbye.
I was 4 when he left me sitting outside a run down children's home on christmas morning, I'd been so excited for Father Christmas i hadn't slept the night before, I remember running downstairs christmas morning expecting presents under the tree and the smell of a christmas dinner to greet my nose. Instead I found empty bottles scattered around the house, the christmas tree which had been up only the night before vanished out of sight. The view of a naked woman sprawled across our couch, heavily gurgling under her breath. I was so young I didn't understand, I didn't understand why christmas had been erased from my house like it had never existed. I never got the chance to ask questions because the thud of my fathers feet slowly making their way down the stairs soon followed by him scooping me into his arms and carrying me to his heap of a car which permanently smelled like smoke.
Seeing nothing but Red Page 11