“Ben and Flo would still own the business, of course. Everything would be in their names. I’m willing to do the day-to-day grunt work. The stuff that bores Ben to tears, but I like it. I like Orchard. I wouldn’t mind settling down here.”
“Have you and Ben been talking about this long?”
“No, today was the first conversation I had with him. I’ve been working out the details myself, working on the proposal so that I had a full picture of what needed to be done and how to do it before I brought Ben in on it. I finally got the guts together to talk to Ben, and texted him this morning. Turns out he needed a ride back to Orchard, so the timing was perfect.”
“Perfect timing,” I said quietly. I wondered where Ben had come back from, but I didn’t want to ask Jason. I’d find out from Ben. “So, did you make it to the concert last night?” Changing the subject seemed in order.
“What?” Jason looked confused and fidgeted with his right foot.
“Last night. Weren’t you going to the concert that got moved to the high school? Did you make it in time?”
“Yeah, yeah, I did,” he said. “Jimmy Murphy saw me on my bike and ended up giving me a ride back to my apartment. Good thing, since I had to go home first and get changed into my black and whites for ushering.”
“Black and whites?”
“Black pants, white collared shirt. Plain white, no pattern.”
“Do you even own a plain white shirt?” I asked. Jason always wore collared shirts, perfectly ironed. They always had a pattern.
“I own two for this very purpose. Anyway, I made it right before they opened the house, thanks to the ride home.”
“Jimmy’s a good egg. That was nice of him. Where’s home again?”
“Marytown. I have a great studio over there. The price is right.”
“You ride your bike from Marytown? That’s a haul.”
“I don’t always ride it the whole way. Sometimes I’ll park my car where I need to be that night, then I’ll ride my bike. But it isn’t that bad a ride. Especially if you take the back roads. You should try it.”
“Maybe I will, though usually if I am heading over to Marytown I need something specific, and hauling it back on a bike would be tricky.”
“You’d be surprised how much you can carry with the right gear. Happy to show you sometime,” he said, and took a gulp from his ever-present water bottle. “Plus, it helps to stay hydrated. I make a homemade sports drink to make sure my electrolytes are balanced. I’ll give you the recipe if you’d like.”
“Thanks, Jason. I may take you up on that once the clock tower is ticking. Say, have you seen Nancy Reed today?”
“No, why?”
“Just wondering.” Silence. “I should get back to the shop.”
“I thought you were going to get some cookies?”
“Yeah, well, I changed my mind.”
“Woman’s prerogative,” he said. “See you later, Ruth.”
• • •
I walked by the barbershop and looked in the window. Ben was there, mopping the floor. I knocked on the window, and he came over to open the door.
“When did you get back?” I said, wincing at the slight reproach in my voice. I didn’t want to be a nag.
“A little while ago. I had to go and get Blue, then we went out for a run, and I came back here to get some of the supplies Flo requested.”
As if on cue, the Australian shepherd bounded over, stopping short of knocking me completely over. “Hello, my darling,” I said, wrapping my arms around his neck and nuzzling my face in it. The perpetual smile on his face was my favorite tonic. Blue was also a good role model for Bezel on how properly to love your person. Ever since they’d spent more time together she’d become much more affectionate. Lately, it even seemed like she was enjoying it.
“How come my dog gets more kisses than I do?”
I stood and put my hands on my hips. I was tired, and hungry, and sick of pretending everything was all right. “Well, let’s start with you going out last night—”
“You said it was okay to go—”
“And then not coming back—”
“I didn’t count on Betty breaking down. I hate to admit it, but I think I need a new car.”
“Did something happen to Betty?” I asked. Betty was Ben’s old VW bug, circa 1976. She’d been garaged for the winter and had been back on the road for only a couple of weeks.
“Got down to Hartford all right. But then she wouldn’t start. I had her towed to a garage. Had to take a bus to get back this morning.”
“You should have called me,” I said. “I would have come to get you.”
“With all that’s going on, you don’t need that,” he said, smiling his dazzling smile. “Besides, I got a ride most of the way, then took the bus into Marytown. Jason gave me a ride to town.”
“Did you have a good time, wherever you were?” I asked. Yeesh. Not what I was going for. I took another breath.
“I had dinner with my ex-wife,” Ben said. He raked his fingers through his hair and looked away for a moment. When he looked back, I tried not to show any emotion. “It wasn’t a good time, trust me. It’s hard to describe how screwed up Martha makes me,” he said. A shadow washed over his face. He tried to shake it off, but I could see that it was still there. He sat on one of the barber chairs and put his elbows on his knees, burying his face in his hands. I wanted to go over and put my arms around him, but instead I sat on the chair by the hair washing station.
“Sorry, Ben. I didn’t mean to sound like that. You don’t have to—”
“Yeah, I do. Here’s the short version. I was crazy about Martha. Being with her was like a drug, and I was addicted. I trusted her, and took the ‘for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer’ to heart. She didn’t. Worse came, and she bailed.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know how much it hurts.”
“I know you do, Ruth. We’ve only known each other a few months, but I don’t ever see you crumbled by regret. Nancy says that you’ve . . .”
“Blossomed since my divorce? It’s okay, I have. Back when I was married, I was who Eric expected me to be. I was a great faculty wife and deeply entrenched in my academic life. My folks loved that, and loved him. Then Eric had an affair. He broke my heart, for sure. But now? I feel like I’ve rediscovered the real Ruth since I came to Orchard.”
Ben didn’t speak right away. I didn’t try to fill the silence while he gathered his thoughts. “I’m a lousy barber,” he finally said. “I wish I could care about the new store, but I don’t. Not the way I need to if I want it to be a success. Not the way you care about the Cog & Sprocket and your clocks.”
I sighed. It was true, I really loved what I did. I knew how lucky that made me. I also knew better than to try and pretend that running a drugstore should be his passion.
“Martha had some paperwork she wanted me to sign. Seems like part of the old business may have some life in it after all. Apparently someone is interested in getting their hands on some of the technology we developed. The part I kept in the divorce. She offered to buy it from me. Had the paperwork and a nice check all set for me.”
“Did you? Sign the paperwork?”
“Hell no. I called my friend Paul—that’s who I met last night. We haven’t talked in a couple of years, and I’ve pretty much fallen off the grid. Turns out that the work we did is useful as part of a newer technology.”
“That’s great, right?”
Ben smiled a sadder smile than I’d ever seen before. “That’s what I’ve been wondering the last couple of days. When I heard about the app they were developing, I felt more fired up than I had in a long time. I could get my old life back. Last night, when I was waiting for the tow truck to come and get Betty, I realized I haven’t felt that spark about work since I moved to Orchard.”
�
��Maybe not about work, but you’ve cared about other things. You care about the Town Hall and the clock tower. You cared about G.T. and Caroline, and helped her after he died. You cared about the clock tower for months before I got here,” I said.
“I care about you,” he said. “A lot.”
“So instead of staying with me last night you had dinner with a friend. And instead of calling me, you sent me a text.” I hated how hurt and defensive I sounded. And felt.
“My buddy let me sleep in the other bed in his hotel room. I needed privacy to call you.”
“To say you wouldn’t be coming back? How long does that take? Especially after everything that happened yesterday.”
“Paul could only meet last night, and we needed to talk in person. I felt terrible about leaving you alone. I’m really sorry.”
I sighed and then got up to walk over to Ben. He met me halfway. I threw my arms around his waist and rested my head against his shoulder. He returned the hug, and hung on. After a minute, I leaned back, but didn’t let go.
“Listen, big guy, I’m sorry to sound like a nag. I was just getting used to flying solo, and then you came into my life. I’m trying to figure this out.”
“I don’t want you to feel like—” Ben started to say.
I put three fingers on his lips. “Don’t. Let me say this. I still feel like I’m able to fly solo a lot. That suits me. But last night I did some thinking, and Flo helped me put some things into focus. I’ve been hesitant to talk to you about your ex-wife”—I felt his spine stiffen a bit—“or about my ex-husband. It’s like coming to Orchard let me cut that part of my life out completely. Except for my friends Rick and Steve—they’ll never be out of my life—but even they don’t remind me of my years as Professor Evan’s wife. My plan was to not deal with it, but then Eric sent me a letter, and you had dinner with your ex-wife. Flo’s the one who told me about the dinner, by the way.”
“She told me that when she dropped Blue off. I was going to tell you myself, I just didn’t know how. It’s all pretty complicated.”
“Well, I’m a good listener when you’re ready.”
“I know you are. It’s one of the things I love most about you. One of the many, many things . . .” This was the first declaration of love Ben had made aloud, though he’d shown me he cared every day. I hadn’t said the word either. Ben leaned down and kissed me. I melted into his arms and returned the kisses. Then I remembered that we were standing in front of a plate glass window in downtown Orchard, and I pulled back.
“Maybe we should go somewhere more private?” I said.
Ben looked at the sun streaming through the window. He leaned down and put his forehead against mine. “I’ve got to get blinds for the shop.”
“You really do.” I sighed. I didn’t move.
“What did the letter say?” Ben asked.
“Letter?”
“From your ex?”
“I haven’t read it yet.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’ve been so happy, and I didn’t want Eric to ruin that.”
“Wow, it sounds like there are a few unresolved issues there.”
“You have no idea. I’ll read the letter later. For now, how about if you come over to the Cog—”
“And have dinner with the people setting up tables in the showroom. Aunt Flo texted me the plan.”
I sighed. Ben kissed the top of my head and let me go. I reluctantly followed suit.
“I’d forgotten about that,” I said. “I guess I should head over—”
“We should head over. I’m not letting you face the inquisition alone.”
Another reason I was crazy about the guy—he helped me run interference with the real power base behind Orchard.
• • •
Card tables are a wonderful thing, and a staple at the Cog & Sprocket. Not the modern, cardboard versions. No, our card tables were wooden, with felt tops. A throwback to the days when Harry Clagan hosted Sunday afternoon bridge parties at the shop. They were perfect when more flat space was needed on a temporary basis—when a clock yielded more parts than could be accommodated on one workbench, or a repair had to be halted midway and moved aside. Or when it was dinnertime at the Cog & Sprocket.
After my New Year’s celebrations, I hosted meals a couple of times a month at the Cog. My past as a faculty wife helped make me comfortable in the role of host, a role that caused Caroline no end of stress. Though the Cog was a store, the point of the open floor plan out front was to make it comfortable for visitors and make it possible to host different events. It was crowded, but it worked. My favorite thing about the dinners is that they were potluck. I never had to cook and was able to eat leftovers for the rest of the week.
As we walked in, I saw Flo setting up a card table. Ben put down his knapsack, walked over, and took over setting the first table upright then setting up the second one. Blue bounded up the stairs to the apartment to say hello to Bezel. I followed him up to let him into the apartment, but when I was halfway up the stairs I saw that the door was already open. I could hear someone singing in the kitchen. I turned and jogged back down the stairs to where Ben had begun helping his aunt.
“Just these two?” he asked, motioning to the three other tables leaning up against Caroline’s workstation.
“Set up one more so we can put the food on it. Close quarters, but it will be fine. It’s only family—no need to impress. Help me put these plastic mats down so we don’t have to worry if Zane gets overexuberant with his wine.”
Family was defined by choice rather than bloodlines for these dinners. The Reeds, Flo and Ben, they were related. We included Jeff in the mix, especially since he was dating Moira. Caroline and I were related by marriage—hers to G.T.—but the bond was by choice. Zane had cemented his place as family when he’d risked his life for Caroline. Sometimes the family dinners expanded to include others, like the Clarks and Nadia. I watched Flo set eight places.
“Where’s Nadia?” I asked. “Is she upstairs? I heard someone up there just now.”
“Nadia went home to work on the pictures,” Flo said. “Nancy came in a few minutes ago. She’s upstairs.”
“I promised I’d send a plate over for Jeff,” I said.
“Of course. There’ll be plenty. Nancy brought a ham and a turkey breast.”
“Both? Is that where she was all day—cooking?”
“Don’t get too excited. She got them from that spiral-baked ham store over in Marytown. You know the one, where they cook it for you, but you can pretend you made it yourself if you slide it into your own pan and heat it up? Anyway, she got them yesterday. No sense in them going to waste, is there?”
“Where’s Nancy been all day, anyway?”
“She isn’t telling me, that’s for certain,” Flo said. “She’s barely said ten words since she walked in.”
“Why don’t I go up and see if she needs some help?” I said.
“Good idea. Aunt Flo and I will get down here set up,” Ben said.
“We can’t do much more until the store officially closes at five. A few minutes to go,” Flo said. “It’s been pretty quiet today, but best not to turn anyone away.”
“Perfect. I want to go over some ideas for the store Jason told me about. I have his proposal here, and I want to see what you think,” Ben said.
“Do we have to?” Flo asked. “I trust your business sense.”
“This has to be a family decision. That’s you and me,” Ben said. “Come sit down.”
chapter 15
Living above your shop meant that privacy was a moving target. My bedroom area was off-limits, and the living room area was open only if I was in the house. The kitchen area was a free-for-all for anyone who worked at the Cog. Since the apartment was technically one large open space, the boundaries were soft, but established early. The only two being
s who ignored the house rules each had four legs, and were chowing down in the kitchen. Given the vigor with which they were eating, I doubted it was regular pet food. I saw Nancy bend down and scoop some more food onto each plate, and knew I was right.
“You’re going to spoil them,” I said.
“Ruthie, you scared me. I had a chicken breast that needed warming up, so I figured who would enjoy it more than these two?”
“Sorry about scaring you. I’m jumpy today too. Thanks for thinking of the fur babies. I know Bezel and Blue would thank you if they could get their heads out of their bowls.”
“Blue almost knocked me over in thanks, so I’m good. I’m going to put some more in the fridge for later. It’s right here, beside the bowl of potato salad.”
“What bowl of potato salad?”
“The one I put aside for you. There are never leftovers of my potato salad, and I know you like your leftovers.”
“If it weren’t for leftovers I wouldn’t eat most meals,” I said. This was partly because I didn’t love to cook. It was also because lately my budget didn’t allow for a huge range of meals, and I suspected my friends knew that. I followed Nancy to the refrigerator and took out the bowl, cracking open the lid and dipping my fingers in. “Holy moley, this is incredible,” I said. I went in for another taste, but Nancy rapped my knuckles with the wooden spoon she was holding.
“Dinner is in less than an hour,” she said in a scolding, motherly tone. “Can’t you wait until then?”
“I really can’t,” I said, pathetically. “I think I missed lunch. Not sure if I ate breakfast, come to think of it. If it weren’t for you, I’d be starving to death right here.”
“How can you forget to eat? Answer me that,” she said, handing me a small bowl and a spoon.
“Easy. I’ve got a lot on my mind, and food wasn’t included,” I said, dishing out a healthy scoop.
“A lot on your mind. You’ve been trying to figure out what happened to Kim Gray, haven’t you?”
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