by G. Bailey
“Honour-bound are the ones you seek. Honour them and they will honour you back.”
Alpha Reine’s warning comes back to me as the leader of the Naiads walks closer, water spitting on the ground like heavy rain around it. The water sprays on me as it gets closer. Its arm stretches out, and a sort of human hand with some tentacles instead of fingers curls upwards.
Asking for something.
Wanting something.
Honour.
A deep-rooted instinct tells me to slide the apple ring off my finger and place it in the hand of the Naiad, even if I don’t want to part with a gift from Ragnar. He would want me alive, and it’s just a ring. As I drop the ring, I do what you do with anyone you respect.
I bow my head low and rest my fingers together. All I hear is water splashing around me, dropping onto the floor with every second that passes.
The Naiad lets out a harrowed cry that I feel right down to my bones, and suddenly the room is filled with small spheres of water in every colour, floating like stars in a dark, endless sky. Tears prick my eyes at the beauty of it, and I smile at the Naiad.
Beauty in death. That’s the true gift Hades gave these demi-gods. Maybe death has always been beautiful, in the way the calm after a storm is.
I see the dagger flying through the air towards the Naiad, and without thought, I jump and grab it, blade first, cutting my hand deeply as I roll to a stop. The water disappears, the light with it, and in its place is nothing but darkness. The Naiad I just saved screams, so loud it burns my ears, and I look up to see the other female, pale and motionless as Naiads appear around her and rip her apart in a spray of blood, their fingers turned into claws, their teeth sharper than any knife. I look away in horror and disgust, unable to stomach what they are doing. Unable to stand that she doesn’t make a sound other than gagging on her own blood. As they keep ripping, a cold, lifeless finger touches my cut, pulling it apart. The Naiad—the leader, I suspect—pushes the dagger away where it sinks into water, and carefully draws in my blood a mark on my hand. The mark glows blue like the deepest oceans, and my blood disappears, leaving the mark behind. It looks like a wave curled in on itself, and I feel a pinch of raw power coming from it as I look up at the Naiad.
I don’t know what she is thinking or saying as we meet, our gaze connected, but I know this mark is her way of honouring me for saving her life. The Naiad leaves down the third archway as I crawl to my feet, never letting myself look back at the other female as I follow the Naiad down the corridor and out into a small cavern with a fast-flowing river through the middle of it. And down at the bottom of the river are three tokens: glowing black rocks, gleaming and sharp, and glowing black like a pit of darkness in a clear glass river.
I bow my head once more to the Naiad, and this time, she bows back at me before disappearing before my eyes. I breathe out and suck in a deep breath before diving into the river. The water is ice cold, and it takes my breath away, freezing me down to my core, and I almost forget why I jumped in. My arms and legs don’t want to work as I struggle to make them swim deeper, my eyes stinging as I force them open. My hand grabs the rock as the fast current sucks me downstream into complete darkness. Suddenly I drop in the water, sucked out into thin air with a scent of thick magic, and I crash onto hard stone, knocking my chin and tasting my blood in my mouth. I hold back the cry as I stare up in the darkness and do what Alpha Reine said and press the rock to my wrist. It burns, and I can’t hold in the cry right before the room is flooded with light and a stone door slams open beside me. Alpha Reine walks in, her frown turning into a small smile, and she offers me her hand.
“I hoped it would be you I’d see in here, Mairin,” she offers. She saved my life in there.
I take her hand and let her help me up, looking at our joint hands. On her wrist is a black line of leaves, and on mine, freshly burnt, is the same.
I nod to her and she nods back, something akin to respect between us as she lets go, and I walk out of my second rite test.
One left to go.
Unknown
That’s it, you’re mine now.
You are an alpha no more.
The creature is right, I think. I can see a woman when I close my eyes, when there are no more screams from the others in here, when the creature isn’t looking my way. It feeds on me, on my power, but I don’t remember why I’m powerful…why I’m even here, and what my name is anymore.
I’m no one, nothing and not important because no one came for me.
Not even the girl with hair of gold.
Silas clicks his tongue, and his gigantic pure-bred stallion, Dulcis, turns between the logs hammered into the ground. Grey-haired and white-maned, Dulcis is a magnificent beast, and one look in his dark eyes told me he knew it. Silas uses only clicks to instruct Dulcis until they have gone through all the logs, and he slides off his back, patting the side of his neck.
“Good boy,” Silas praises and takes off his reins and saddle before walking with me to the stables, leaving Dulcis out in the enclosure. My tight jeans and blue T-shirt are covered in hay as I brush it off me, my boots clicking on the floor.
“He is beautiful,” I comment.
Silas watches me with his grey eyes, the very shade of his horse. “Careful, I could get jealous of a horse at this point.”
Only his smirk lets me know he is joking. I whack his arm, and he catches my hand, pulling me against his chest and kissing me deeply. My body feels like it’d been sleeping until his lips found mine, and I move closer, pressing our bodies against each other. He picks me up by my ass, pushing me against the stable doors, pushing his hard body into every soft place of mine. Gods, I want—
“You are wanted,” Ragnar’s voice cuts through the haze of desire, and Silas slowly, casually kisses me one more time before breaking away. But he doesn’t put me down or take his hands off my ass as Ragnar steps into the stables.
The sharpness, the anger and jealousy in his eyes hurts something in my chest. A low growl comes from Silas, vibrating against my own chest. “By whom?”
“Reine,” Ragnar replies, looking away from us.
Silas watches him with a sharp gaze, which softens slightly as he looks down at me. He lets me slide down his body and makes no attempt to hide how turned on he is as I walk to Ragnar. “I’ll be back. I want to see more of Dulcis.”
“Lucky horse,” Silas grumbles, and I chuckle, heading out of the stables with Ragnar, his pace fast and angry, never pausing.
I catch his arm halfway across the field, the courtyard of the castle in sight. He stops and turns on me. “We never spoke about this...sharing. Falling for you all. It was unexpected for me, and I never wanted to hurt any of you. Ragnar, talk to me.”
“I don’t share,” he states, each word cutting through my chest like daggers. He steps closer. “I can’t want anyone but you, my wolf, my queen, my darling and my mate, no matter how the rite ends. I’ve wanted you since we met, even that young, and no one could love you as I do.”
“That’s not true,” I whisper. “Love...it can’t be contained and controlled. And you know—”
“You think they love you, Mai darling?” he questions. The new nickname, I don’t like it for some reason I can’t put my finger on. “Silas loves himself and the thrill of murder, of pain and the fight. Valentine, despite his recent soberness, loves the bottle more than anyone in this world. His family taught him that, it’s in his blood, and Henderson is too noble to love anything but the title of kin—”
My hand smacks into his face, knocking his head to the side and causing a drop of blood to pool from his lip. He spits it on the ground and looks at me in sheer shock. “Don’t you ever speak of them like that and judge what you do not understand. I may love each of them and even you, but my relationship is private. Valentine is not a drunk, Henderson is noble, but that is not a bad thing, and Silas has been forced to fight; he hasn’t been given a chance to choose his own fate.”
I pause, my heart hurting deeply.
“Ragnar, I don’t know what has changed since we got here, but you have never been cruel.”
“The truth is, you couldn’t remember even if I was,” he slowly replies, almost threatening as he walks to me. Low, that was a low blow. I know he won’t hurt me, and I regret hitting him. This isn’t who we are, we always were. I feel nothing but confusion settling in my chest as I look at Ragnar, tracing my eyes over his handsome features, the stern lines that weren’t there before and now are. Like he has frowned one too many times. His eyes meet mine, shining like dark lapis lazuli crystals. “You can’t remember that your first kiss was with me, so many years ago. I loved you and you loved my darkness, this side to me...only you did. But only for a fleeting moment, then you changed. You told me the gods above didn’t want this, us, and you ran into the arms of them. That’s why I—”
He pauses as a carriage neither one of us heard pulls up next to us. We don’t stop staring at each other, and the conflicting stories he is telling me are confusing me. I kissed him first? As a child? Why would I say the gods didn’t want us?
“This city has changed you,” I say as the driver of the carriage jumps down and pulls the door open. “But I love you, Ragnar. Come back to me, the kind and brave wolf I know.”
Something changes in Ragnar’s expression. “I love you too.”
I softly smile, even if deep down something still doesn’t feel right, and I don’t know why, but I don’t trust him. I can’t trust a wolf I’m in love with.
“There you are, Mairin. Come,” Alpha Reine says, leaning out of the carriage and looking at Ragnar. “I asked you to find Mairin and bring her to me, not keep her for yourself, son.”
“I keep what is mine,” he replies with a grin. That almost reminds me of Ragnar when we met...it’s just darker. Different. I’m not sure what to make of it. I turn to Alpha Reine, and Ragnar is already walking away.
“Where are we going?”
“Get in and you will see,” she replies before sitting back down in the carriage. I climb in, and the driver closes the door. Her scent, winter river and frost and snow, fills the space as she watches me. I wait, leaning back. It’s been a week since the second test of the rite, and I haven’t seen Alpha Reine at all. My alphas told me she is in meetings all week with Alpha Soren when I asked, and they themselves have been gone in a lot of these meetings too, along with Callahan, who is offering useful information. Phim is still watching Adira, after she made off out of the second test, along with Tualla. I knew without having to be told by anyone that the other female didn’t make it. The sound of her being ripped apart will be something I won’t be able to forget in a hurry.
“Congratulations on your success in the tests,” Alpha Reine comments, her eyes watching out of a small window. “Have you been preparing for the final test?”
“As much as is possible,” I reply, remembering the haunting words of the oath I took to take the rite and walk into The Rite Forest. Hallowed lands where unnamed gods died, and their blood made the trees. Made the forest from nothing but sand. It’s a damned place. Mortals and wolves be damned. I’ve read two books in the library about the forest, and there isn’t much about it other than stories of wolves and, eons ago, humans who wandered into the forest and never came out again. It’s a massive forest, thousands of miles long, and even the king of the angels would never step foot in it. It’s about two miles out of the city, the entrance hidden in a crystal cave full of black diamonds.
“Soren once told me Dot was said to be from the forest,” Alpha Reine says, capturing my full attention. “He said his great-great-grandfather made friends with Dot, and on his deathbed, she told him a small secret, one she could part with for him, her dear friend. That she was from The Rite Forest and may never return, for all our sakes.”
“Sounds like a threat.”
“To us? Our world? To her, whatever it is she may be,” she replies, turning to look at me this time, her eyes clear. “What is your opinion of Dot?”
“That she is powerful and dangerous, but not to us,” I reply as sure as I can be. “I’m not a good judge of character—it’s a bad flaw of mine—but I never got the sense she would hurt me.”
Alpha Reine nods, watching me so closely like she has since we met once more. “I caught your maid, Erin, talking with a low-born female wolf in the city. Are you planning on going to The Wolves of Mnemosyne?”
Her question surprises me into a stunned silence, and she carries on, my answer written across my face. “It seems you are not a good keeper of secrets either. Both traits you will need to work on in order to be a good alpha female.”
“I need my past back,” I state.
“I never once said I am going to stop you or suggest you do not go. You know the price you are going to pay,” she replies. “You are a grown female with a broken and scarred past. The Ravensword Pack, they turned you into this. The past will not alter who you are, Mairin. Nothing and no one but you can do that.”
“Thank you for not stopping me,” I reply.
Her eyes watch me. “Alphas are protective and domineering mates, who will never place their alpha female in danger in any sense, even if it’s the right thing to do. Their instincts override their minds, their wolf controlling so much of them. We, as alpha females, do what is best no matter the dear cost.”
“Have you paid a lot of costs over the years?”
“Yes,” she replies without pause. “Millions of wolves look up to me and my mate for guidance, for protection and to keep the laws we have in place. Sometimes I’ve had to judge quick and regretted it, sometimes I’ve lost dear friends to save others’ lives. We live in a dying world, Mairin, and I believe this pack is the last hope. If we fall, then no one will rise in our ashes other than a cruel king who will burn everything.”
“I am going to kill him,” I firmly state. “The alphas, they can’t. I know they can’t do it, and maybe if I have my memories back, I will struggle too. But I’ve been the female in a broken world, stepped on, treated like a slave, raped and beaten and rejected. That’s what the world is for mortals and what it will become like here if he lives and when, not if, he finds us. There are many I plan to destroy as I get revenge, and I will not stop. I will fight.”
It feels good to admit what happened to me, to say it out loud and demand my revenge. To promise it to myself and to the gods above and below.
I look out at the city as we pass it. “I vow to every god above that if I have the chance, he will die.”
“And the Ravensword alpha?” she asks softly. Softer than I’ve heard her speak.
I smile, feeling my power locked in my chest, my wolf at my back. “He is going to regret ever touching me. His pack is mine.”
For the first time since we met, her eyes glow bright, and she smiles. “Good.”
The carriage comes to a stop outside a row of orange brick townhouses with yellow trimmed windows and a garden of yellow roses, poppies, and daisies in front. The driver opens the door, letting Alpha Reine climb out first, and I follow. The front door, white with a gold knocker, swings open. A woman, older than I am, rushes out and bows her head low for Alpha Reine before looking up and locking eyes with me.
“By all the wolf gods, it’s like looking at Baia once more,” the female whispers, brushing her curly autumn orange hair behind her ear. She is pale with a bunch of light freckles, and her black cloak covering her shoulders hides that her right arm is missing. Little scars litter her neck and right cheek up to her forehead as she stares at me.
“You knew my mother?”
“Y-yes.” She pauses, looking at Alpha Reine. “Young Mai doesn’t truly remember?”
Alpha Reine shakes her head, stepping aside and looking at me. “This is Chastity Fall, and she was one of the few wolves who escaped the attack.”
Chastity walks to me, her eyes so wide. “I grew up with Baia. Our huts were right next door to each other. She was my maid on my mating day. She drew the ancient marks on my skin and braided my hair, whic
h is a high honour. I loved her a monumental amount, and I’m so sorry, Mairin. I really am. My daughter was born two days after you...but she didn’t—”
She stops, the words not needed to be said. “It’s nice to meet you, and I wish I could remember, but I cannot. I’m sorry for your daughter.”
Her eyes flash red for a moment. “Revenge will be here soon. We have all trained for the day the alpha heirs declare war.”
The word war does nothing but strike fear into my chest, the knowledge that a fight like that could take my alphas’ lives, the lives of so many in this pack, and risk everything. We need a war to begin again, to save everything good left, but it’s never something I will pray for.
Death marks the word war.
The two are the same.
“Come in, come in,” she says, waving to the door. “I was so excited to hear you were both coming, and I’ve made a dozen small foods for us to enjoy.”
I nod and follow her inside, Alpha Reine trailing after us. The house is sweet, decorated with soft pinks and creams, flowers and paintings dotted around soft furnishings. We head into the living area where there is a small, cosy table with four chairs scattered around. That isn’t what makes me pause in my tracks.
On the mantel is a photo in a frame. The photo is faded, old, and cracked in places, but even if I can’t remember who the female is in the middle, in my soul, I know her. Reine and Chastity are on either side of a female with long, almost pale blonde hair, sharp features, and soft, kind eyes the same colour as mine, but brighter, not an inch of darkness to them that I often see in mine. She is wearing a white summer dress, tied at the waist, and sandals, and a beach is behind them, the waves frozen in the photo.
My mother. Baia Fall.
Tears fall down my cheeks as I realise why Alpha Reine brought me here. This is a gift for winning the tests.
Chastity comes to my side, picking the photo frame up and handing it to me. “You should keep it. When we were attacked, I grabbed my bag, and this was in there, the only photo I think ever left our old pack with us, by pure luck.”