by G. Bailey
“Fuck, Mai,” I breathlessly groan against her lips. I kiss her one more time. “I can’t wait to take you as my mate, to be inside you.”
“Me too,” she tells me. I don’t deserve her. I never have, but she is mine, and I will protect and love her with everything I have. I kiss her softly now, and she melts into my arms. Love is complicated but worth every single moment it can give.
“I loved baked cherry pies that Aunt Reine made every full moon for the big party,” I say, watching as Erin tugs on the corset strings around my waist, spread across my ribs. She pulls it until it’s so tight I feel like I can’t breathe, but it holds three hidden pins, sharp and easy to pull out. Erin made this herself, and she really has a knack for making a useful and beautiful outfit for fighting and impressing. It’s what a queen going to war would wear.
Queen. Alpha female. Their mate.
I turn to look over my shoulder, my hair braided into one long plait that hits my back, and find Henderson’s eyes. He is sitting on the end of my bed, his legs spread wide, his large hands resting on his knees.
His eyes find mine, like they did so often when we were children. It was his eyes I loved first, that haunted my dreams first, that drew me to him like a moth to a flame. It’s been a few days since I got my memories back and lost Breelyn for a year, and I woke up this morning with another few flashbacks. I wish it was any other cost than Breelyn, and I wish she was here today. It was my decision to go there, a mistake I made. Callahan hasn’t looked at me once, not when I tried to speak to him yesterday. He looked at me like I was a stranger.
Henderson’s lips quirk up. “You used to climb on my shoulders to pick the best cherries from the top of the tallest tree in the forest. It was an hour walk to that tree.”
I laugh. “If I remember right, Hens, you always dropped me. On purpose, I bet, as revenge for dragging you through the forest to that tree.”
Maybe, his eyes seem to say, a light laugh escaping his lips. I know they are mad at me, have been since I woke up and told them everything that happened, including how I planned it all. Silas punched a wall, Ragnar said I was insane, and Henderson gave me a look of pure disappointment. Valentine...well, he walked out and came back later on. That was a different kind of evening. My cheeks blush thinking about it.
That look Henderson gave me hasn’t left his eyes yet, not all the way, and I still feel it. I made a reckless decision, and it cost me Breelyn. I barely slept this week thinking about her, what she is doing and if she is okay. I haven’t even told them about the other deal, the one the trickster said I would return to make. Nothing would make me give up a baby.
Nothing would make me that desperate...and it scares me deep down in my bones to think there is something that is going to happen that could make me even consider it. The only people I would do something like that for are my alphas.
For them, I’d burn the world. Trade anything. Make any deal, because a world without them wouldn’t be worth living for me. I don’t know when I became certain of it, when I decided to fight for them, but it was when I was very young. My world was ripped apart when I had to leave them and my memories in the past to protect myself, to hide myself from the angel king. Now I have it back, and as the Wolven gods are my witnesses, I won’t let anything pull us apart.
The Wolven gods...I’d forgotten about them, too. My mama, in secret, would make us leave the house in the dead of the night once a month and go to an altar, hidden in bushes and thick trees. The altar was made of solid black onyx, and we would kneel before it. My mama would speak in the old language of the gods, like the words on the altar, and I would repeat everything, word after word until I understood the prayer. The Wolven gods, who are forgotten by most of the world, are shifters with god blood. They created the shifter race, or so my mama told me, and everyone else would never understand why we pray to them.
They weren’t pure or light or true to their word. They were dark gods.
I remember her words as clear as day, like I’m back in that clearing in front of that altar. “But you are a dark goddess, and you already love a dark god. Sometimes, there is good to be found in the darkest of souls.”
She was right. Of course she was.
I clear my throat, and Erin claps her hands, stepping back. “You’re all done.”
“Thank you,” I tell her.
“Adira came to see us last night,” Henderson states. I pause mid step towards the door and look to Erin.
“Can you give me a bit of time with Henderson, please?”
“Oh,” she says, bowing her head with red cheeks. “Of course. I will wait outside with the guards.”
Erin walks out and closes the door behind her, tipping the world into silence.
“She isn’t walking out of the rite alive, Henderson,” I say firmly. “I’m sorry, I know part of you loves her like a sister, but she made her choice. I know she can live, if I find the centre of the forest first and the gods allow her life, but I won’t have her in the pack afterwards if she comes out alive. I hope you don’t, and won’t, hate me for that.”
He looks me dead in the eye. “I haven’t trusted her since the train, Mai. We have been watching her like the betrayer to our pack that she is.”
“Really? I didn’t think you believed me,” I say, my lips parting.
“We did,” he replies, shocking me deeply. “We will always trust you, Mai, but we didn’t want her to know that. It had to seem like you truly thought we had dismissed what you said happened. Phim has been reporting to us, as well as to you, as we asked her to shadow Adira as well. I hate keeping secrets from you, but this one was important. We had to be careful.”
“Great minds think alike,” I say with a big smile.
“Whatever she is doing, it isn’t for our pack, and she is not loyal to us. I won’t have anyone close to us that would stab you in the back, Mai,” he firmly states. “None of us would. So she dies and you walk out of there. I won’t accept anything else. The gods won’t spare her, because we wouldn’t.”
Despite his certainty on it, I hear the trace of sorrow in his voice. I even feel it in my chest. Now I remember her as a child. We were close, friends for a time, but we never had any kind of bond that would last the years. It wasn’t the same, and I knew she wanted them for herself. I knew she would take them the second she could, without a care for me, her friend.
I walk up to Henderson and lean down, pressing my lips to his in a passionate kiss, telling him how I feel. Any part of me that doubted us, my relationship with him and his brothers, just disappeared in a cloud of smoke. He never pauses, sliding his hand to cup the back of my neck and kissing me deeper, marking my soul with his.
He breaks away. “Come out as our alpha female and become our mate, Mai. Fight for us, and we will never stop fighting for you. We will battle even the gods above to protect you.”
“Mating...,” I say, running my fingers over his neck, and he gulps. “I cannot wait to be bonded with you. I love you.”
“Even when the stars light up the entire night sky, they aren’t as beautiful as you. I love you more than the purest starlight on a dark night.” His voice is like velvet against my lips.
The door is knocked twice, but I don’t look away from him, this moment feeling precious and unforgettable to me.
The door is knocked again, and Henderson sighs. “I have to go to the chapel. Hours of praying for you ahead of me. I hate that I can’t stop you from doing this or be there.”
“Respect is earnt, and this pack won’t see me as their leader unless I do this,” I say. “I don’t want to be an alpha female they are forced to have and don’t want. That’s not how we are going to inspire an army to take back this world and save it from him. I’m not alone, Hens. You are always with me, like I’m always with you. Plus...there is someone else to help me...”
I walk to my side of the bed and pull out Morganis, the legendary dagger with unknown powers. Much like the sword my mama had, which glowed and had powers. Th
e sword must have been one of the legendary weapons, and it’s incredible I’ve been so close to two of them. Niall must have it wherever he is. Maybe he’s still looking for my father, a man I don’t remember. He left us alone, and Niall never came back for me like he promised. The chances of either of them being alive is low.
I know who my family is, who is there for me, and after the rite is over, the pack will know too. I clip Morganis into my thigh clasp, next to the three other smaller daggers. It glows green against my leg, casting a shadow of magic around me.
“You look like a goddess, Mai,” Henderson breathes, standing slowly. He lowers his head.
“Gods don’t bow,” I tell him, offering him my hand.
He clasps it, looking dead into my eyes. “No, but you are the only female in the world I will bow for. No questions asked. You’re mine, Mai.”
“I’m sorry I disappointed you...,” I say, looking down. “I—”
Warm hands cup my cheeks, tilting my head up. “The only person I felt disappointed in was myself. My brothers. We let you down by being so overprotective that you felt you had to go to him alone. We shouldn’t have shut you down, and I’m sorry, Mai.” He pauses slightly before continuing, “I’m sorry you felt you had to hide that from me. We are going to be mates, and I never want to make you feel that way again.”
A weight feels like it is lifted from my chest. “I thought you were disappointed in me for going when you said no. I had no idea you felt this way.”
“We are all mad at ourselves. You trusted Breelyn and Phim more than us,” he sighs. “We are the ones who failed, not you. It won’t happen again. We will trust each other, Mai. That’s what mates do.”
“I do trust you,” I say, kissing him softly. This time, the door is slightly pushed open, and a guard sticks his head through the gap, looking down.
“Alpha Heir Henderson, I’m sorry to interrupt, but—”
“We are coming,” I say softly as Henderson growls low. The guard jumps backwards, and the door softly shuts.
“You are a brute,” I say, shoving his shoulder. He grins as he rises up and looks me over from head to toe.
“I’m going to enjoy peeling those clothes off you and making you my mate when we see each other next,” he whispers into my ear. “I’m going to mark you as mine.”
I meet his darkening eyes, desire changing my scent, and I see him breathe it in. “Mine. You’re going to be mine, Henderson Fall.”
His replying growl sends shivers through me before he walks to the door and pulls it open. A line of guards in red cloaks wait outside the door, and Henderson looks back at me once.
“Win.”
“Yes, my alpha,” I reply, my words husky. His eyes flare before he forces himself to leave, and I suck in the cold breeze of air coming from the door, hoping it hides some of my desire-filled scent as I walk to the guards, who surround me and guide me through the castle. We go past the ballroom and down two large staircases to a stone corridor with three archways, decorated with three-headed wolves, each head hanging over an archway, looking like the wolf is going to snap its jaws closed on anyone who walks through.
The sharp stone teeth nearly touch my shoulder as I follow two guards through the middle archway and down a small, dimly lit passageway to a large domed room. The dome is made of sandstone, smooth all the way up to the top, where a chandelier of blue fire hangs on its own, held by magic. A buzz of something flickers through me, giving me goose bumps as I walk across the gold, silver and faded white mosaic tiles to where Alpha Reine, Adira and Tualla are waiting in the centre of the room. By Alpha Reine’s feet is a gap, with descending wood stairs that go into pitch darkness below.
I incline my head, and Alpha Reine does the same, as does Tualla and a reluctant Adira. I take a quick note of their weapons: swords and a bow with arrows for Tualla, and Adira is similar to me, just daggers, but she has a leather whip wrapped around her arm.
Morganis isn’t glowing, thankfully, but I see Alpha Reine look at the dagger for a second too long before looking up at me, something unspoken crossing her eyes.
“Welcome to the Forest Rite, the final part of this test,” Alpha Reine states. “There is one entrance to the forest below and one exit.”
She looks at each of us. “I am aware you have heard the laws of the Forest Rite before, but I want to repeat them. The six instructions for the Forest Rite are as follows:
Once you enter, you can’t shift.
You can’t leave unless you win, not even in death.
Don’t look into the shadows.
If a path appears, take it at your own risk.
This is the forest of the gods. Pray to them for help.
Only one wolf leaves.”
The last sentence echoes in my mind as I look at Tualla, finding her looking at me as well. I don’t want to kill her, but I will if I have to. “The Forest Rite will go on as long as needed—days or even a month is not unheard of. When the test is over, if the gods allow, your life might be spared. One of you will be given the markings of alpha female and bonded to the pack, within this forest as I was, as every alpha female before me. The alphas will know and accept the bond the second it is made.”
“Then we can mate in the traditional sense to complete the bond?” Adira asks, her voice like a purr, filled with desire.
A growl vibrates through me, and Adira smirks at me.
“Yes,” Alpha Reine replies, somewhat awkwardly, and clears her throat. “I wish you each nothing but luck. I will be praying to the gods for your returns.”
“We endure the fall and rise in the ashes of our pack,” I say. All of them turn to me, and Alpha Reine smiles before bowing her head, repeating my words. Adira and Tualla repeat them too, and I’m glad they do.
Those are the words of our pack, and they should be said in honour at this moment that will change things. Tualla bows to Alpha Reine before climbing down the steps, followed by Adira. I wrap my hand around my dagger as I walk to the top of the steps, feeling the ancient and dark magic in the forest below.
Alpha Reine wraps a hand around my upper arm, and I pause. “Where did you get that?”
“The castle gave it to me,” I say for a shortened version.
“It’s like the sword your mother had,” she quietly whispers back. “They are alive, tainted and dangerous.”
Her warning rings in my mind. “I will be careful with it.”
“You don’t understand,” she whispers. “Even with your memories back, Mai, you didn’t see the effect that weapon had on your mother. Baia told me your father gave her the sword and told her to keep it safe, and she showed me it. Over time, she told me it spoke to her, told her stories of gods never heard of in this world. She became obsessed with it, and I asked her to leave it alone, but she would not. I don’t know who your father is, or why he left, and why he gave her it, but I do know those legendary weapons are extremely dangerous.”
I look down at Morganis. “It doesn’t talk to me. Maybe because of who I am, it doesn’t affect me. My mama’s sword never did.”
She looks into my eyes. “Maybe it’s just waiting for you to be weaker. We will talk more soon, that I am sure, but please be cautious of that.”
“I will,” I softly say. “Aunt Reine, maybe you can make me a cherry pie when this is over?”
Her eyes fill with tears, and she gives me a tiny nod. “I’d like that very much, Mai.”
It’s the first time she has called me Mai—since I came here, that is. We have changed a lot, but some things haven’t.
I refuse to ask her to tell them I love them or give them a message from me in case I don’t make it out of this. I can only think that I will make it out of this and win this test. Win the rite. I steady myself, gripping my dagger tightly as I walk down the stairs that twist and turn in pitch darkness, threatening to trip me with every step. A soft yellow light fills the bottom of the staircase as I turn around the corner, and I walk to it, surprised to see a clearing in the middle
of a forest of different trees. Some are white oak, others pine and dragon trees. Between them are fruit bushes and the soft noise of a creek, the damp scent drifting through the pine scent. Grass brushes my feet, and I look up to see the light is coming from hundreds of thousands of fireflies that line the ceiling of the cavern, looking like a moving ceiling of lights. It’s really beautiful, but the heavy feeling that settles in my gut shakes me to my core.
There is something here, something dark and ancient and powerful. I can feel it in my bones. I slip my dagger out, keeping my eyes around for Adira and Tualla, and anything else that might sneak around in this forest. I scent that Adira and Tualla went to the left on the marked path, and footprints confirm this after one look. I decide to go in the opposite direction, away from the marked path, remembering the warning in the rules about paths appearing in this forest. On this path, there is no sound, no falling leaves or brush of the wind in this place as the trees surround me in their cold shade. I walk quietly through the forest that scents like no other forest, listening for anything unusual to be found in the creeping darkness. Sometimes fireflies flicker in the shadows that I know I shouldn’t look into because of the rules, like glittering stars, and I watch them like I can see the stars above me as I go deeper in the forest. The shadows are different here, and they almost pull me to them like a safety net, even when my mind knows there is nothing safe there. A cry trickles to my ears from my left, and I twirl, hearing the cry one more time.
Tualla.
I shouldn’t go after her, I know it, but I run through the bushes towards her cries and try to keep my footsteps silent like Silas taught me. Tualla screams this time, a scream of desperation and pain.