The author on the road to Zagora
Seren is the book imprint of
Poetry Wales Press Ltd, Nolton Street, Bridgend, Wales
www.serenbooks.com
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Twitter: @SerenBooks
© Richard Collins, 2015
The right of Richard Collins to be identified as the Author of this Work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.
ISBN 978-1-78172-259-6
Mobi: 978-178172-296-1
Epub: 978-178172-297-8
A CIP record for this title is available from the British Library
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted at any time or by any means electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise without the prior permission of the copyright holders.
The publisher works with the financial assistance of the Welsh Books Council
Cover Artwork by Flic Eden
Printed by The CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon
CONTENTS
Author’s note
Maps
1)
The Most Weird Place
A is for Aqaba
2)
An Elephant, Passing By…
B is for Bethlehem
3)
The Limp, the Alien and the Aurora
C is for Copacabana
4)
Around Annapurna
D is for Damp 2000
5)
The Sex Bus
E is for Entebbe
6)
Ballsy
F is for Fort William
7)
The Road to Zagora Starts Here
G is for Grindlewald
8)
Not Lapland
H is for Harlem
9)
The View from the Bridge
I is for Istanbul
10)
The Right Side of Scary
J is for Jericho
11)
Landscape and Memory-card
K is for Kathmandu
12)
Travel, India, a Short Guide
L is for Lucca
13)
Difficult Times
M is for Madrid
14)
Distant Relatives
N is for Nuweiba
15)
Africa
O is for Omorushaka
16)
I felt it touch my face with its whiskers
P is for Paris
17)
Meetings with Remarkable People
Q is for Quito
18)
Me and my Monkey
R is for Rotterdam
19)
A Short Intermission
S is for Skopje
20)
A Very Short Story
T is for Tel Aviv
21)
At the End of the Road to Nowhere
U is for Urubamba
22)
The Sky Was Working Overtime
V is for Varanasi
23)
The Sacred Valley
W is for Westport
24)
The Earth Moved
X is for Xania
25)
The World Turned Upside Down
Y is for York
26)
The Road to Zagora
Afterword
making that journey through wonderful consciousness, toward the end of consciousness
EDWARD ALBEE
no hay camino, se hace camino al andar
(there is no road, you make the road as you go)
ANTONIO MACHADO
Author’s note
My partner, Flic, and I have travelled a great deal in recent years. I was diagnosed with a progressive, incurable disease in 2006 and it seemed like a good idea to see some of the world while it was still possible. We went to India and Nepal three times, travelled in Peru and Ecuador, visited the Middle-East and also spent some time in Turkey and Morocco.
This book tells the story of our travels and of the great misfortune and great good fortune that sent us on our way. It also includes some backstory – tales of times and events that have shaped my life and the life we have lived together.
Flic carried sketchbooks on our travels and wrote, drew and painted along the way. Her immediate response to our surroundings and experiences created a vivid record. Looking though the books has been a great pleasure and I have drawn on her account unreservedly.
The Road to Zagora is dedicated to Flic, my favourite and best travelling companion, with a very big thank you for all that you have given and all that we have shared.
Photographs and some of Flic’s watercolours can be found in the blogs:
http://richflicjordan.blogspot.co.uk/
http://flicrichperu.blogspot.co.uk/
http://richardandflic.blogspot.co.uk/
1
The Most Weird Place
The wind has come round to the north-west and we have changed our plans. We will now take the train to Morfa Mawddach, a little station on the salt marshes at the head of an estuary, and cycle home from there. We will wait for an hour here, at Dyfi Junction, a station at the head of a different estuary, and look up at the surrounding hills, and out across the marshes towards the sea, and talk about long gone times and faraway places. It is the right thing to do.
I am with Bill, who I have known for nearly thirty years; he’s a dear friend and has come to help me while my partner, Flic, is away. Nowadays I am ill enough to sometimes need help with the simplest of tasks, buttering a slice of toast, let’s say. And well enough to be looking forward to a day of cycling up and down the steep Welsh hills; at least if the wind is behind me. I see this might need some explanation; more on this later. Right now it’s eight o’clock on a late August morning; summer seems to be coming to an end and a new season has begun. The air is cooler and clearer, the sun less bright, and the very first hint of autumn colour, very early this year, shows on the leaves of some trees and bushes and on the bracken and long grass.
Dyfi Junction station has been revamped with shiny new shelters and seats, new tarmac and paving slabs, and a row of unnecessarily tall lamp-posts on an unfeasibly long platform. A public address system beeps from time to time and an automated voice speaks its name: Systemtech Public Announcements. It doesn’t say anything more than that as there are no trains due for a while. And as there is no car access to the station, just a mile long rough track, there are only two passengers for it to address, Bill and myself. The whole thing is incongruous set here in the vast space of the marshes. It could be the railway station at the end of the universe.
We walk to the end of the platform where the railway crosses a body of water a little larger than a ditch. It is the Llyfnant, a small stream that comes down out of the hills and runs across the marshes to join the Dyfi Estuary. We are maybe eight miles from the sea but the tide has come right up here in the night and now flows out quietly between the reeds. Two cormorants fly past. There are some gulls out over the water. And we can hear a stone-chat somewhere nearby but we can’t see it. Perhaps it is the unpeopled quiet of this place that makes me think of its opposite, the station at Varanasi in India, where I spent part of a night waiting for a train a few years ago. I tell Bill about it and his opportunity to commune with nature, light, space, and silence is interrupted for a while. I hope he doesn’t mind too much.
Flic and I were in Varanasi some years ago. It’s a huge, dirty city beside the foul, polluted, pure and sacred River Ganges. A place of pilgrimage that every Hindu should visit once in a lifetime, a place to be cremated and have your ashes cas
t upon the water, and a particularly good place to die, as you may escape the cycle of death and rebirth and instead reach Nirvana, the Hindu equivalent of heaven. It is also, and people forget to tell you this, a very beautiful place, with the temples and ghats strung out along the bank of the wide river. But after a few days the intensity of experience, the heat, holiness and hassle of the place, were enough for us and we decided to move on. The travel agent who sold us our railway tickets told us that he had special connections that would allow him to find seats for us even though the train was officially full. These seats came, as you can guess, at a special price. The travel agency doubled as an internet café and the proprietor also told us that he was a Brahmin and that his people were the first intermediaries between God and man. We had, he was pleased to tell us, connectivity.
The Indian railway system handles twenty million passengers per day. Unbelievable but true. There were several hundred of them (500 or so I wrote in my diary) in the foyers and on the platforms when we arrived at Varanasi station at ten in the evening. Hundreds of people were stretched out asleep on the ground. They looked poor, perhaps destitute. But no, I noticed that one man was propped up in such a way that he could watch a film on his iPhone. The trains in India travel vast distances over periods of several days and can be very much delayed. It is not unusual to hear an announcement in Hindi and English something like: India Railways regret to inform passengers that the Punjab Express to New Delhi is running approximately eight hours late. And so people have to wait and while they wait they stretch out on the ground and sleep.
We found our platform and waited a mere four or five hours for our train. It was a memorable experience. It seemed a good idea to sit comfortably with our backs against the wall and watch our fellow travellers. But nobody did this, they all sat or lay in the middle of the platform. When we saw rats making their way along the bottom of the wall we knew why. And we weren’t that surprised to discover later that the railway carriages each had their own population of mice that travelled the length and breadth of the country.
The station was busy with people coming and going and with others trying to make a living by selling chai, or fruit, or cheap plastic toys (why toys?) to those passing through. We saw a whole tribe of village folk come in from the countryside carrying sacks of vegetables to sell at the market. They wore similar red and yellow turbans on their heads and nothing at all on their feet, they were that poor.
Flic took out her sketchbook and started drawing as she does at such times. A very poorly dressed young woman came and sat close by to watch. She smiled and her face lit up like that of a child. Then she moved away and we saw that she was crying. I bought chai for us and a cup for the young woman and we decided that we would give her some money before we left. She was certainly destitute and possibly mentally disabled. Then our train arrived and in the rush we forgot all about her. But I thought about her later. So many people with places to come from and places to go. And maybe a few like this woman, poor enough to spend her days and nights on the station platform, checking out the litter bins in the hope of finding something to eat. Stuck on Varanasi station platform because there was nowhere else for her to be.
Bill and I don’t have that long to wait for our train; we are soon riding in comfort and watching the hills pass by on one side and the sea on the other. Then we have a good day of cycling through wild and beautiful landscapes with the help of a following wind, tea and cake in Dolgellau and Machynlleth, and the way-marks along the Lon Las Cymru. And I get some extra help and encouragement from Bill when I struggle to get my arms and legs to do as they’re told.
Back at home in the evening I find myself thinking again about some of the places Flic and I have visited in recent years and the way that this country looks so different when you return from abroad. Perhaps this is something I could write about. I find one of Flic’s India journals and read the words on the last page. We had been away in India and Nepal for three and a half months finally returning from tropical Kerala on the last day of January to a home that just wasn’t the same. She wrote:
Now back in Wales these things strike me. It is cold and colourless. There are no leaves, no noises accept the wind blowing, nor anything like the warm bustle of India or the heat of the tropics. It is the most weird place we’ve been.
A is for Aqaba (Jordan)
Travelling enriches your life and changes your understanding of quite a few things. Home is a different place on your return. You are a different person, having travelled. I have had some preconceptions of other people and places quietly overturned. I spend a lot of my time at home now because of my poor health and have the opportunity to reflect on these things. Or I do something daft like make an A to Z of place names, each from a different country, and write a little anecdote about each one. I once spent a couple of rainy days doing this, starting with Aqaba in Jordan:
Forget Lawrence of Arabia arriving in Aqaba on camelback at the head of a Bedouin army: we crossed the desert by bus, in comfort, with wi-fi and air-con and reclining seats.
Aqaba is a port but also a seaside resort, a holiday destination for Jordanians. We were at the beach on a Friday, the Muslim holy day, and found that it wasn’t wall-to-wall joylessness as Sunday is in some parts of Christendom (we once saw a children’s playground in the west of Scotland with a sign Closed on Sundays). People may have been to the mosque in the morning but now they were having fun. Women were dressed conservatively, some in long black robes, but it didn’t stop them from going into the sea, snorkelling or messing about on inflatable plastic ducks.
We had already had our preconceptions of Islamic society challenged in the first Jordanian town we visited. The shoe shop proudly displayed in their window a number of pairs of hi-heeled thigh-high leather boots in a choice of colours, red or black. Did the women we passed on the street wear these under their long robes? In what other context, we wondered, would they be worn? I really can’t imagine.
The people of Jordan are renowned for their hospitality, friendliness and sense of humour.
2
An Elephant, Passing By...
The best part of a year passes by and Bill comes to visit again. My health has deteriorated now but we try a more adventurous day out. We are at Dyfi Junction station earlier, this time for a seven o’clock train. And it is a little earlier in the year too; no hints of autumn this time. We walk to the end of the platform and look towards the local osprey’s nest. One of the birds is flying towards us but veers away when it recognises our human shapes. It climbs and circles, then folds up its wings and dives, stoops I should say, to attack a random crow that may be a threat to its young. Then the train comes in and we are off to Penrhyndeudraeth, from where we cycle to the foot of Snowdon, climb one of its sibling peaks, Y Lliwedd, and return home by bike and train. Quite a day out.
A couple of weeks later my partner, Flic, and I are on the bus home from Aberystwyth. I am feeling rough and we have a conversation something like this:
‘Is it that thing where you feel like you’re lying naked on a cobblestone street in the rain and an elephant, passing by, stops to rest and lies on top of you?’ she asks.
‘No, of course not.’ I reply. ‘That’s how it feels at night. Or not exactly how it feels but a measure of the discomfort. That’s how uncomfortable it feels in the middle of the night.’
‘So what is it now?’ she asks. ‘Is it like you’re just recovering from flu and have recently been run over by a bus?’
‘No, that’s what it’s like in the evenings, or not exactly like that but comparable, you know what I mean.’
‘What is it then? You don’t look too bad.’
‘It’s indescribable. You know how I am with words but this is indescribable. Only it’s a bit like... you know those science fiction films where the guy’s body is being taken over by an alien? Or when an insect has a parasite eating it live from the inside? It’s not like that but it’s... you know, my body feels unbearably weird and my speech and m
y movement and my facial expression are all fading away. And... and I never get used to it. It still makes me feel panicky.’
With the lack of a mountain to climb my body has packed up and we are abandoning a trip to our local seaside town. We talk about the hidden symptoms of my illness, the indescribable half of it, by means of ludicrous analogies. They are, of course, exaggerations, but not so much as you’d think. And today I’ve been unable to walk far at all and when we get home I have to do some thinking.
I have Parkinson’s disease, a neurological condition, in which the brain’s messages to the body are somewhat interrupted. The symptoms vary from hour to hour, day to day, and over longer periods. So two weeks ago I cycled 30 miles and climbed a mountain with Bill but today I can’t walk a few hundred yards along the prom. Why is that? I have to think this through.
There are, I know now, psychological triggers. The excitement of a new challenge or the stimulation of a friend coming to stay will have a beneficial effect; suddenly I can do more. And exercise, hard exercise like that of climbing what we in Wales call a mountain (anywhere else in the world it would be a hill), always makes my body work better. At the end of such a day I am much more functional than at the end of a day at home. More than that, I realise, is the determination to go on.
Y Lliwedd was tough. Cycling there I was hunched forward and to one side, as if about to tumble sideways off the bike at any minute. It took all my concentration to make my feet stay on the pedals. And when on the mountain we tried a steep short cut to the summit and my legs refused to work. I collapsed onto the slope and Bill had to help me to my feet. This happened a few times. Cycling home he fed me sesame seed snacks and encouragement when it seemed like I couldn’t go any further. Aberystwyth prom, on the other hand, is not a challenge and to carry on when you can hardly walk seems daft not to mention embarrassing.
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