by Janette Paul
‘I’m two cars behind you. Turn right at the next lights.’
Dee checked the rear-view mirror, saw his car with the indicator flashing. She pulled into the turning lane, took the corner, watching as he followed.
‘I thought you didn’t date,’ Ethan said, his voice thin through the speaker.
‘I would if someone asked me out. Someone nice, though, not just anyone. I’m not that desperate for a kiss.’
There was another pause. ‘I thought it was something to do with the yoga.’
‘It is. I work such long hours I never have the time to meet anyone. Well, I met one guy but he’s only interested in herbal tea, and then there’s you. You’re the first man in ages that I’ve actually been attracted to – got a serious crush, to be honest – but you’ve made it perfectly clear we don’t date. We just do business.’
Another pause – and was that laughing? ‘You said you didn’t date because of your commitment to yoga. I thought there was a religious reason.’
She frowned at the phone. ‘What? Like I’m some kind of yoga nun? I don’t think there is such a thing.’
Dee heard him swear under his breath then laugh some more. ‘Go right here then the next left.’
‘Where are we going?’
‘I have no idea but it’s not where I thought we were going.’
‘I don’t get it. What’s so funny?’
‘What’s funny is that I’ve spent weeks trying to convince myself it would be morally wrong and kind of sick to seduce a nun.’
Dee almost ran into a parked car.
‘I kept telling myself there was nothing sexy about celibate and then I’d see you and all I could think about was breaking your vows. Go right here.’
They were winding around suburban streets lined with long walls hiding luxurious homes and sprawling apartment blocks. Somewhere close to the harbour, Dee guessed, although she didn’t really care. She could drive around like this for hours so long as he kept talking like that.
‘Pull over on your left, just past that street light.’
She stopped beside a waist-high sandstone wall that ended in a driveway. ‘Where are we?’
‘My place,’ Ethan said and hung up.
Oh. My. God. Dee felt like one of those glass snow globes that had been turned upside down and shaken. All her possibilities were swirling around and piling up in unexpected places. She opened the door. Ethan was there, taking her hand, pulling her out.
‘Hey, Dee.’ It was a question not a greeting.
She felt as though the air had been squeezed out of her lungs. ‘Hey.’
He walked her backwards until she was against the car, then looked down at her with dark, amused eyes. ‘You say you have to go but you kiss like there’s a whole lot more on your mind.’
He cupped her face with his hands, pressed his body to hers and covered her mouth with his – filling her head with a whole lot more possibilities. Her palms traced the hard muscles of his chest and the broad expanse of his back. This was so much better when it was a spectacular beginning instead of an embarrassing end.
A single, strident buzz from her phone went ignored as Ethan followed the line of her jaw with his lips. He found her earlobe, kissed a hot trail along her neck. Lifted the strap of her bra and pushed her blouse aside as he followed the shape of her shoulder with his mouth, found the curve of her breast with his hand. His thumb worked its way slowly across her nipple and she let out a soft moan that turned quickly to a gasp as a car revved around the corner, passing too close.
Ethan held her to him as they both watched it disappear down the street. When he looked down at her again, his eyes were dark and intense.
‘I’m pretty sure you’re not thinking about business now,’ Dee said.
‘Only unfinished business.’ He bent to kiss her, was almost there when a light flashed on across the street and the sound of electronic security gates cracked the night. They laughed quietly, their bodies shuddering gently against each other. With his mouth still suspended above hers, he whispered, ‘This is no place to discuss a merger.’
‘Not at all conducive.’
He pushed himself away, threw the car door wide, passed out her keys, her handbag, her trusty basket. ‘Anything else you need?’
She shook her head, laughing inside like a crazy person.
He held her hand and led her to the apartment block behind the sandstone wall. A tiny voice asked her whether this was the path she wanted to turn down but she could barely hear it and she was already around the corner. As they waited for the lift to open, she had the weirdest jittery feeling, like a kid at a party who’s eaten too many lollies – keyed up and vaguely nauseous at the same time. On the way up, her phone buzzed again.
‘Is it an emergency?’ Ethan asked.
‘No, it’s Leon.’
‘Ring him. Tell him you’re going to be late.’ He pulled her against him, his mouth to her ear. ‘About a week late.’
She keyed Leon’s number but wasn’t sure he’d hear her over the hammering of her heart. ‘Hey, it’s me.’
‘Did you get the last message? Can you pick up more booze on the way? Lindall’s drunk the place dry already.’
There was the sound of laughter as Lindall called out, ‘Hi, Dee.’
‘Something unexpected came up and I’m not going to get there,’ Dee told Leon.
It took a second for him to answer. ‘Oh my God. You’re with Ethan.’
She lowered her voice. ‘Yes.’
‘Well, babe, you’re the only one who thinks it’s unexpected. We all saw how he looked at you tonight.’
Dee eyed Ethan across the lift. ‘You did?’
‘Wait till I tell Lindall you’re a Roxburgh Girl.’
The lift doors opened into an apartment. Dee’s mouth dropped open. ‘My God, it’s huge.’
‘Okay, that’s way too much information,’ Leon said. ‘Call me later.’
Dee took three steps into the room and stopped. It was all timber and black leather, clean lines and shiny surfaces, the kind of view that could bring tears to your eyes. Beyond a wall of glass, Sydney Harbour looked like a dark carpet rolled out to the foot of the Opera House, which glowed white beneath the famous span of the Harbour Bridge. Dee smoothed down her skirt, feeling suddenly untidy and rustic in the minimalist apartment.
‘Do you have to invite loads of people around all the time so you don’t get lonely in here?’ Dee asked.
Ethan smiled as he put her basket by the lift door. It looked like something the cleaner forgot to take out. ‘I’m not home a lot and, when I am, I usually have work to do.’
‘You could fit my entire apartment in this room.’ Dee walked towards the window, trailing a hand across the back of a firm leather sofa, wondering if she should remove her shoes. ‘Breakfast on the deck would be amazing.’
‘I’ll see what I can do.’
‘I didn’t mean I wanted … I meant, for you, it must be amazing for you … with the view and all.’
He laughed softly. ‘I’ll show you around later but, first, how about a drink?’ He opened a cabinet and produced two cut-glass tumblers.
Alcohol would be good. Her hands were shaking and, now that the moment of passion by the car had passed, she felt a little panicky. It was a long time since anyone had touched her without a yoga pose in mind. Her stomach tightened at the memory of his hand on her breast. What was he expecting? Another yoga demonstration? Another kind of girl?
‘Dee?’
Her heart was thumping in her chest, her head span in a riot of anxiety. It wasn’t the best time to try to say something sensible but she opened her mouth anyway. ‘The thing is, I’m feeling kind of nervous right now. I didn’t think about all this. Well, I did, and in quite a bit of detail actually, but I didn’t think it would really happen. I mean, if I had, I probably would have worn something more …’ – she waved her hands in front of her body – ‘thrilling, you know, underneath, but it’s just my ordinary old knickers.�
�� The corner of Ethan’s mouth curled up just a fraction. ‘And I’m sort of worried you might have the wrong impression. About the yoga. It’s not what I … how I …’ Oh dear. ‘I just teach it.’ She slapped a hand to her face.
‘Dee.’
‘And it’s been such a long time since I … since anyone … since the last time, that I …’ She shrugged, not daring to say any more.
‘How long?’ he asked.
‘Eighteen months.’
He raised an eyebrow. ‘A year and a half since you …?’
‘Okay, so it’s closer to two years.’
‘You really are a nun.’
‘So it seems.’
‘I think you need a drink.’
He smiled, and the sight of it undid the knot of nerves in her belly. Instead of pouring, though, he took off his jacket, undid the top button of his shirt and pulled the tie from under the collar. It was a simple act, probably something he did every night when he came home, but it was enough to melt Dee right down to her sandals. Without the collar and tie, he was just Ethan: tall, generous, accepting and wanting to coax her out of celibacy – not that she’d need coaxing now.
‘Scotch?’ he asked.
She closed the space between them. ‘To be honest, it’s been a really long and crazy day. I’ve been running on adrenalin since six o’clock this morning and my reserve tank is just about empty. So, if you don’t mind, I’d like to skip the drink and merger negotiations and just sign the deal.’
His expression was all desire. He kissed her hungrily. She wound her hands around his neck, relishing the taste of him. He pulled her against him. It knocked her off balance. She threw out a hand, bumped over a cut-glass tumbler. He steered her away from the cabinet and collided with a leather chair.
‘Wait,’ she said, breathing hard. ‘Perhaps if you gave me the guided tour we could find somewhere with a few less obstacles.’
He hooked his thumb over his shoulder. ‘Kitchen.’ He took her hand as he led her down a hallway. ‘Bathroom, gym, office.’ He cocked his head at doors as they passed, then ushered her through the one at the end. ‘Master bedroom.’ It was big enough to turn cartwheels with a king-size bed in the centre and a replay of the spectacular view. ‘Only one obstacle here and it has a soft landing. What do you think?’
‘Perfect.’
So were his mouth, his hands, his body. They pulled at each other’s clothes in a hurry to get skin on skin. She needn’t have worried about her ordinary old underwear – it wasn’t exposed long enough to be noticed. And taking off his tie was nothing to watching his shirt slip over a broad, toned chest and slide off muscular shoulders. As he pressed the warmth of his flesh to hers, her breath caught and her head spun and she told herself she’d have more fun if she managed to stay conscious. His hands explored the mounds of strong muscle across her back. Oh, wow, he seemed to enjoy it as much as she did. She tipped her head back, needing to kiss his lips again, but this close, without shoes, he was tall. Too tall to reach. She lifted onto tip-toe, reached up to draw him to her. He found another way, cupping his hands under her buttocks, picking her up and holding her effortlessly and without fear of spinal injury as they crushed their mouths together.
The bed was indeed a soft landing. So was Ethan. And neither were any kind of obstacle. Dee hadn’t felt so overwhelmed by sensation since, well, never. And after years of withholding from intimacy, she was surprised at Ethan’s ability to unlock her internal warrior. If she’d stopped to think about it – what it meant, where it might lead – it might have freaked her out a little, but stopping or thinking wasn’t on her mind that night.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Dee’s eyes flew open. She gasped, sat up. Ethan.
‘Dee?’
Her head snapped around. There he was – sleepy eyes, hair mussed, naked body barely covered in a sheet – and the anxiety was gone. She put a hand either side of his lovely broad shoulders and nestled into his neck.
‘You okay?’ he asked, voice gravelly with sleep, his hand taking a trip along the length of her spine.
‘Mmm.’ Fabulous. ‘Go back to sleep.’
The clock beside him read 5.30. Her first Saturday class started in an hour and, not wanting to introduce him to her big circles with the right, big circles with the left, she slid out of bed, collected her clothes from the heap on the floor, and hobbled stiffly to the door on one side of the bed. A walk-in and pace-around robe. The door on the other side was the en suite, where she dressed and splashed water on her face. A brief hunt in the kitchen uncovered a coffee plunger and kettle and, while she waited for water to boil, she lifted one foot at a time onto the marble bench, bent her head to her knee, stretched her hamstrings and released her back.
Didn’t Ethan say something about a gym last night? Coffee in hand, she wandered quietly through the apartment and found it down the hallway. Light streamed in from the harbour, illuminating a large sunny square on the timber floor. Rolled up behind a weights machine was an exercise mat. She unfurled it, stripped off her skirt, lay down and took stock of her body. It felt strange this morning – energised and exhausted at the same time.
She worked through her morning postures, enjoying the heat from the window on her face and back as she bent, stretched, breathed, relaxed. It was easy to stay in the moment. She’d been there all night. It felt very, very good. By the time she finished, her body was loose and she felt more fluid than she had in weeks. With one last deep breath she opened her eyes.
Ethan was leaning on the door frame. ‘I thought you left,’ he said, taking in her knickers and singlet with interest.
Dee’s gaze wandered over his naked torso and boxers. ‘Not yet.’
‘We could do breakfast on the deck.’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘Later.’
Her energy level bumped up a notch. ‘Tempting but I have a student in twenty minutes.’
‘I could keep breakfast warm.’
It was nice to be wanted. ‘Very tempting but I’ve got classes most of the day. I’m filling in for Howard at the school then I want to visit Arianne.’
‘Shame.’
Dee pulled on her skirt and collected her things, aware of Ethan’s eyes still on her. Aware of how much she wanted to stay. He followed her to the lift. ‘Do you mind if we keep last night just between the two of us?’
Dee opened her mouth but wasn’t sure what to say. Was he embarrassed to let anyone know he’d slept with her?
‘Wait. That didn’t come out right.’ He looked down at the floor then back up at her. ‘Last night was great. And this morning. And I’m hoping that’s not going to be the end of it.’ He hooked a finger in the waistband of her skirt, pulling her gently to him. ‘Really hoping. It’s just that I’d like to keep it away from the media. It can bugger things up. So if we don’t say anything to anyone, it won’t get out.’
Dee breathed a sigh of relief. ‘Fine by me. I don’t want to do the Roxburgh Girl thing. I mean, I hardly fit the profile.’
‘Believe me, Dee, you’re no Roxburgh Girl.’
Oh. And yet she was in his apartment, fresh from his bed. What did that mean? The doors opened. She took a long look at his well-toned chest and ran a hand through the soft, curly hair that grew in a T from his breast and disappeared into his low-riding shorts. Roxburgh Girl or not, the view was still great from here. ‘You have very nice … coffee.’
As she stepped into the lift, he said, ‘I’ll call you.’
She kept the smile on her face until the doors closed then let it drop with a thud. ‘You’re not a Roxburgh Girl’ followed by the ‘I’ll call you’ line. That had to be bad news. Some kind of shorthand for, ‘Hey, it was great but let’s leave it at that.’ Maybe that was all there’d be. A few spectacular moments then, ‘See you at the next meeting, babe.’ She’d figured he’d fit neatly within her two-week boundary fence but now he wanted out after one night. Maybe two weeks of ‘future’ was too much. She could still get hurt.
Her phone rang as she stepp
ed out of the lift. She wrestled it from her bag, checked the display. ‘Did I forget something?’
‘No,’ Ethan said. ‘I said I’d call, so I am.’
She did a little skip along the path.
‘Are you busy tonight?’ he asked.
‘No. You?’
‘Not after I’ve cancelled. How about dinner?’
‘Sounds great.’
‘Here?’
‘Sounds even better.’
‘Buzz me after you’ve finished at the hospital?’
Okay. More than one night.
It was after 5 p.m. by the time Dee walked past the front entrance of the hospital for a third time, trying to fill her lungs with enough calming oxygen to go inside. She didn’t want to go in there, wanted to keep her memories contained. She almost settled for calling Arianne, having a lengthy, cheering chat over the phone, then remembered long, lonely days in the ward and decided she needed to be a better friend than that.
She took one last deep breath and stepped inside, feeling woozy in the all-encompassing antiseptic smell. She found the elevators, changed her mind and took the stairs – no point standing around waiting for the memories to leap out and grab her by the throat.
Arianne was reading a magazine when Dee burst in, pressing her back to the door to shut the rest of the hospital out.
‘Dee? Are you okay?’
She closed her eyes, willing her heart to slow. ‘I’m meant to be asking you that.’ Crossing the room, she wrapped Arianne up in a hug, trying to smile like a regular hospital visitor. ‘I’m so glad you’re okay. I was so frightened. For you and the baby and Howard. And me.’
Arianne squeezed back. ‘You saved my baby’s life, Dee. And mine. I didn’t know what to do. Thank you from all three of us.’ She pulled back to look Dee in the eyes. ‘I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you. Are you okay? You look a little pale. Maybe you should sit down. I’ve got an en suite if you think you need to …’
‘I’m not going to be sick – not yet anyway. But I will sit down.’ She pulled a chair to the bed, feeling a little shaky as she sat. ‘What are the doctors saying?’