by Nina Croft
At least this gave him an excuse to go see her. Talk to her. He locked the door to the showroom and went back to the workshop, grabbed his helmet. Two minutes later and he was revving down the road on the way to the ranch.
There was no answer at the door to the house, and he headed toward the barn where he could hear voices. They were all crowded around a stall. The one containing Keira’s filly. Mimi, Josh, Reese, and Keira. But no Emily.
Mimi glanced up as he stood in the doorway, then came toward him. “Tanner, I thought I heard the bike. What is it?”
“I came to see Emily.”
“She’s not here.”
“She’s not? Is everything okay?”
“Fine. She just said she needed to get out. She headed into town, meeting with Susanne I think.”
“What time?”
Mimi raised an eyebrow, probably at his brusque tone. “She left around seven.”
Just after he’d called. So much for being tired. She must have known she was going out when she spoke to him, and she’d chosen to lie. Was she worried he might suggest he go along?
Hadn’t he known it was all a fantasy? She was probably ashamed to be seen with him. Was regretting asking him to marry her. Was probably right now asking her girlfriend for advice on how to get out of it. He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to ease the tension.
“What did you want to talk to her about?” Mimi asked.
He shook his head, trying to clear it. Emily had lied to him. Told him she was too tired to see him and then she’d gone out.
Maybe she wasn’t meeting Susanne at all. Maybe she was meeting Ryan. Had she decided he was a better choice after all? Tanner knew, even as the thought crossed his mind, that he was thinking bullshit. Emily wouldn’t do that. But that didn’t change the fact that she’d lied. And they’d agreed that if nothing else, at least they would always be truthful to one another.
Christ, he needed a drink.
“Tanner?” Mimi urged, and he realized she was waiting for an answer. There was no reason not to tell her. Josh had come up beside her, but maybe he needed to hear this as well.
“I just had a visit from Jed Forrester. He told me that if I fired Josh and ensured he left town, then he’d let Emily keep her job. If not, she’ll lose it because marrying me makes her likely to corrupt the innocent minds of the children of Saddler Cove.”
She stared at him for a moment, her eyes narrowed, nostrils flared. “Jed Forrester wants you to fire Josh? And did he say why?”
“You were mentioned. Forrester reckons Josh is taking advantage of a vulnerable widow. That’s you.”
“He actually called me a vulnerable widow?” Her voice was rising. Josh edged closer to her, put his hand on her arm in a calming gesture. It said a lot about their relationship.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Don’t call me ma’am,” she growled. “And what did you tell him?”
“Nothing. I asked him to leave.”
“I’m going to kill the fucker.”
Tanner raised an eyebrow. Obviously, he’d hit a nerve, and she was taking this personally. It made him wonder what history Mimi had with Forrester.
“Well, I’ll not stand in your way. I’m heading back to town.” He needed that drink. More than one, probably.
“I’ll tell Emily you were here.”
“Do that.”
And she’d know that he’d caught her out in the lie. What would she do then?
…
Mimi watched him go. Things weren’t going well for Emily and Tanner, but she couldn’t think of that now because she was so furious her vision was tinged with crimson. Her jaw locked tight.
How dare he?
“I don’t often hear you swear,” Josh said. “I guess that means you’re mad.” His hand still rested on her arm. It was the first time he’d voluntarily touched her. She touched him often, at first under the pretext of a riding lesson, but now it just came naturally, the need to touch him, to feel connected. And he didn’t jump quite so high these days. “I’m sorry,” he continued. “I’ve caused trouble for you.”
“What?” For a moment, his words didn’t quite make sense. Then she realized he was blaming himself for this. She was going to eviscerate Jed. “Don’t you dare think this is your fault. This isn’t about you. It’s about me.” She glanced back over her shoulder. Reese and Keira were still by the stall—it was hard to drag Keira away—they were going to have to set some rules.
“Walk with me?” she asked Josh. Without waiting for him to answer, she took his arm and headed out the back of the barn and along the creek path. They were silent for a while, and she allowed her surroundings to sooth her.
“Maybe I should leave,” Josh said, breaking the silence. “Help everybody out.”
She halted, resting a hand on his arm to stop him, then turned, so she could stare into his face. “And maybe you should stay. You don’t deserve this. Whatever you did, you’ve paid for. More than paid for.”
He ran a hand around the back of his neck. “How can you know that?”
Reaching up, she touched his cheek. “Then tell me.”
He looked away. For a moment, she thought he was going to clam up on her again. But he took a deep breath and started talking, fast, as though he wanted the words out. “When I got back from Nam I was a mess. Couldn’t hold down a job. I was drinking…and other stuff. Hardly sleeping. If I did, I’d have nightmares…flashbacks to… It doesn’t matter—you can probably guess. And I remember being angry all the time.”
“Classic symptoms.” It was what she’d expected, but all the same, her fury rose. “You should have had help.”
He chuckled. “You sound so fierce. But there weren’t a lot of folks around back then wanting to help a broken down ex-soldier with anger issues. Anyway, I lived in this shitty apartment block with an even shittier landlord. He was a white guy—thought that made him better than us. Some of the women, if they were late with the rent—he’d…you know. Probably thought he was doing them a favor.”
He paused, and she silently urged him to go on. She guessed he’d never spoken about this.
“My next-door neighbor had a fourteen-year-old daughter. Nice kid. One day, I got home—I’d been at some bar or other, was drunk. I usually was. I heard a scream. I pushed open the door, and she was lying in a pool of blood. I thought she was dead—turned out she wasn’t. Prosecution said I’d totally overreacted. Bastard had raped her, and I’d overreacted.” He shook his head. “It was the smell that did it. The blood. Took me right back to Nam, and I lost it.”
“You killed him?”
“Yeah, I killed him. Though I hardly remember doing it.” He was silent for a moment, his gaze flickering over her face, searching for something. “So, that’s it. You still want me to stick around?”
She stepped closer, wrapped her arms around him, and held him close, feeling the shudders running through him. Then she stepped back. “Yes, I want you to stick around. I was right—you’ve more than paid. It’s time to let it go.”
She hooked her hand in his arm and tugged him onward, walking slowly, giving him time to do just that. Let it go.
Josh leaving wasn’t an option. Jed must be out of his mind to even suggest it.
She shouldn’t be surprised by this. He was a man blinded by bitterness. A man who’d never gotten over the death of his son, and she could understand that. Losing a child was the hardest thing a person could suffer. She’d lost two. One she’d given away, and the other was taken from her. Both had brought her to her knees, but she’d struggled back up. Made an effort to go on for her family’s sake. Gone through the motions of living until it had become natural, and she’d finally found joy in life again.
Jed had never made that effort. He’d wallowed in his bitterness. When he still had a daughter who needed him.
She’d turned Jed down numerous times over the last few years. She was aware that he saw her as some sort of way back to a better past. But that wouldn’t wo
rk. Hell, it would never have worked back when they were sixteen. It certainly wouldn’t work now. She didn’t even like the man. But once she’d thought she loved him.
They reached an old wooden bench her husband had built for her because she loved this spot looking out over the creek to the mountains beyond. They sat, and she turned to face Josh, studied the strong lines of his face, his eyes that held so much pain and loss. But they also held peace now. She blew out her breath. He’d bared his soul to her. Now it was her turn.
“I went out with Jed back in high school,” she said. “It’s hard to believe it was over fifty years ago. We thought we were in love. Maybe we were in love.”
“He was the father of your baby?”
“Yes.”
Josh rubbed a hand over his chin as he thought it through. “You wanted to marry him? Keep the baby?”
“I begged him to, but we were only sixteen, and both our families were against it. We were banned from seeing each other, but I snuck out one night, went to see him. I told him we should run away together, have the baby. I was such a romantic.”
“What did he say?”
“He said we were too young, that we’d lose everything—Jed always did like being someone in the town—he couldn’t bear the idea of being a nobody. He told me that he loved me, that we could get married after college, have another baby.” She could still remember the sensation of her teenage heart breaking.
Now she could only be thankful. She didn’t think they would have suited in the long run. But it might have been worth it to keep her child. “The next day, I left Saddler Cove and didn’t come back for five years. He tried to see me then, and I wouldn’t. I told him I’d tell everyone what happened if he didn’t leave me alone. I married Liam. I wanted a baby more than I wanted a man. I thought it would wipe out the memory of the loss. It never did. Jed married late, he was over forty. We went to the wedding. He cornered me and told me he’d always loved me, and he’d waited, but he couldn’t wait any longer. A month later, Liam was killed in a car accident.”
“I’m sorry.”
“He was a good man. But I never loved him. I wouldn’t let myself love him.”
“So, this Jed wants you back. What happened to his wife?”
“Divorced. Still lives in town.” She sighed. “Jed’s a stupid old man. Who should open his eyes and see what he’s already got instead of chasing after something he’s never going to have.”
Josh looked troubled, a frown between his eyes. “Can he do what he said? Have Emily fired if Tanner doesn’t get rid of me?”
“He could. But he won’t. Because I’ll rip him limb from limb. Then I’ll tell the town what happened all those years ago. He can shove his morality clause up his—” She broke off. “It just makes me so mad.”
“I noticed.”
“That he has the nerve to question my granddaughter’s morals when he was in the same situation, and he refused to marry the girl he got pregnant.”
“You don’t mind people knowing?”
“I don’t care who knows. In fact, I’m hoping…” She hadn’t mentioned this to anyone, but then, apart from Jed, Josh was the only person who knew about that long-ago baby. She would sit down and tell Emily soon, but the poor girl had so much on her mind. “I contacted the agency that arranged the adoption. They couldn’t give me details, but they said if I wrote, they would forward the letter to…my son. I sent it off a week ago. Maybe he won’t want anything to do with me. But maybe he will.”
He slipped his hand into hers, the gesture tentative. Likely it was a first, and the touch warmed her. “I hope so,” he said. “You deserve it.”
“Do I? I gave my child away.” She toyed with his fingers, laying his palm in her lap. “I should have fought harder.”
“You were a child yourself.”
“Hmph. Anyway, in the meantime, don’t worry about Jed Forrester. And tell Tanner not to worry. I will go pay him a visit tomorrow, and I promise you, he won’t bother you again.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Her head hurt, and she wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed, preferably with Tanner to hold her tight, and forget everything just for a little while.
But that wasn’t going to happen any time soon.
She’d gotten the call that afternoon. There was a meeting of the school board that evening, and she was expected to show herself. She hadn’t told Mimi—she would only get herself worked up. Time to get worked up if everything went wrong.
Were they going to fire her? They couldn’t. Could they?
This time she didn’t even think about asking Tanner. She still hadn’t forgiven him for the fight with Sawyer. And he’d made it perfectly clear that he wasn’t going to change his ways for her. She could take him as he was or not at all.
And she would.
Actually, she loved him as he was, every grease-stained, unshaven, long-haired, tattooed inch of him. But he would hardly be an asset at this meeting, and just the thought of losing the job she loved made her eyes prick and her hands shake. It was so unfair.
When he’d called earlier, she’d almost given in and asked him if they could meet up after the school board meeting. But she had a funny idea that she wouldn’t be feeling particularly sociable if everything went bad. So she’d put him off. But tomorrow, she would go see him, see if they couldn’t move forward.
Just get through tonight first.
Maybe it would be okay, and they’d give her a slap on the wrist and it would all be over.
She was getting married.
She wasn’t going to be an unmarried mother.
She parked in the school parking lot and made her way through the empty building. The meeting was in the principal’s office. Daniel Dawson, the school principal, was leaning against the wall outside the door. He straightened as he caught sight of her. A frown drew his brows together, and she had a feeling of foreboding.
“Look, Emily. I’m sorry about this, but for some reason the board is pushing to make an example of you. I’d like to help, but my hands are tied.”
“How? How are they tied?”
She’d thought Daniel was her friend. Hell, his little boy had been in her class last year. He’d praised her for the good job she’d done. Told her how pleased the school board was with her work.
He gave an uncomfortable shrug. “You know Jed Forrester runs this board, along with the rest of the town. If he wants you out—you’re out.”
“It’s unfair, Daniel.”
He shook his head. “Why the hell did you have to go off the rails with Tanner O’Connor? You know him and Forrester’s history. Anyone else…” He ran a hand through his hair. “Look, just don’t antagonize him. Right now, nothing has been formally decided.”
She wanted to scream that she hadn’t gone off the rails. Then she had a sudden flashback to lying naked on the table in Tanner’s workshop. Most people would consider that—if not completely off the rails, then sliding fast in that direction. It still wasn’t fair, and the anger churned inside her.
Breathe deeply.
Both Mimi and Tanner had suggested they get a lawyer in to look at the case, but she didn’t want to go that route. How tenable would her working life be if she took the school board to court?
She blew out her breath. “Okay, let’s get it done.”
He nodded, then pushed open the door and ushered her in. She came to a halt just inside the door. The room was big, but it seemed crowded with people. All nine members of the board were there, four men and five women. People she had known all her life, now looking at her as though she was some sort of creature of Satan. They had to be kidding. This didn’t happen in this day and age. She was not immoral. She gritted her teeth and forced a smile. No one smiled back, and her stomach churned.
Not fair.
Is this how Tanner felt all the time? Facing the town’s condemnation.
Jed Forrester sat in the center of the group. The superintendent, next to him. The rest fanning out on ei
ther side. All prominent members of the town. Daniel walked past her and stood behind the group, obviously making it clear whose side he was on. Could she blame him? If it came down to her job or his, of course he would let her go. He had a family to support. But so would she, soon.
“Please sit, Ms. Towson.”
She took the solitary seat on her side of the table and put her trembling hands in her lap, holding her fingers tight.
“I think we all know why we are here,” Mr. Dawson said. “To discuss whether Emily is in breach of the morality clause in her contract. Would you like to say anything first, Emily?”
She swallowed. “Just that I don’t believe I am—in breach of the clause, I mean. I’m going to have a baby, but I’m also getting married. It won’t affect my work.”
“You’re marrying the father of your child?”
“Yes.”
“That would be Tanner O’Connor.”
“Yes, sir.”
They were all silent. Jed Forrester tapped his fingers on the table. Then cast a look at the woman on his left. She cleared her throat. “I’m afraid, Emily, that the board does not believe that Mr. O’Connor is a suitable person to be connected to a teacher in this school.”
And there it was. She swallowed down the bitterness and the anger that was threatening to escape. She had to stay in control.
Jed Forrester spoke for the first time. “Tanner O’Connor is a violent ex-convict who only last week got into a fight in a public place. And he’s brought other violent convicts to this town.”
Did he mean Josh?
She wanted to say it wasn’t Tanner’s fault. And anyway, he wasn’t going to teach the children. She was. What did they expect? That just spending time with Tanner would turn her into some violent sociopath? She had the urge to jab Jed in the eye with a sharp stick, but she supposed that would only prove their point. Tanner was wearing off on her. She was turning violent.
“Tanner has paid for his crimes. He’ a good man, runs a successful business, he’s—”
“His father had a drinking problem and was an embarrassment to this town, and it’s a serious concern that O’Connor will follow the same route.”