by Aya Ling
Snow is falling outside—the flakes come down with the speed of heavy rain, coating the ground in a thick white layer. This is one of the few instances that I’m thankful for bad weather. Edward had gone to High Court the first thing after breakfast, to request that my court trial be re-scheduled due to a terrible cold. I sure don’t want myself returning to the trial and fainting again.
I smooth a piece of blank paper on the desk and take up my pen. But the words won’t come. It feels like once I’ve written this farewell letter, my departure will be irrevocable.
While dallying, I notice the morning papers lying on the upper left-hand corner of the desk. Since I decided to move in Edward’s office, I asked Amelie to deliver an extra copy of the papers for me in the mornings. If I were to assist him, I’d better be informed of current events. There are three different papers from three agencies, each with its own political preference.
Unjust Slanders On The Princess’s Identity—from a paper that favors the royal family.
Princess Katriona and Lady Pembroke Appear in Court is the title of a paper aimed at those apathetic to royals and aristocracy. There’s a lengthy article that describes the entirety of my trial, including the details of what occurred after I fainted. Edward had leaped from his bench and carried me out of the room, while Bertram warded off a swarm of reporters who wanted to know the prince’s opinion on this messy affair.
Princess Katriona: A Royal Fraud? reads the one that enjoys long popularity for satirizing and lampooning the royals, or simply anyone who’s a celebrity. There’s even a cartoon showing Bianca in an unflattering caricature, towering over me like a monster. Maybe the person who did the illustrations was at court that day. He (in Athelia it’s most likely to be male) captured Bianca’s twisted fury in perfect strokes of genius. I wonder if Bianca would dare to claim defamation of her movie-star looks—it’s one of the very rare instances that she appears unattractive.
What will the papers say when I leave the palace? I suppose the question mark in the last headline would be replaced by a period. I was never Katriona Bradshaw in the beginning. Perhaps this is my punishment for meddling with Story World.
If only Krev’s appearance yesterday was a hallucination. Maybe I was so stressed out from the appearance of Katriona Bradshaw that my imagination has taken a wild, dramatic turn.
“It’s a lie,” I say aloud. “It must be a nightmare.”
As though my words were meant to be refuted, a violent spasm seizes my chest and I start coughing so hard that I have to grab the edge of the desk. Letters tumble onto the ground, but I can barely stand up, not to mention pick them up.
“Princess!” Mabel hurries into the study, her round face filled with alarm. “Oh dear, when did you catch such a bad cold? I’ll get the doctor for you right away.”
I grab her arm and shake my head, while trying to contain my coughing. A moment later, which seems like a century, the itchiness in my throat gradually subsides and I am able to drink some water.
“It must be that horrible trial,” Mabel says with a vehemence that isn’t like her normal cheery self. “You’ve been worrying too much about that nasty woman who’s pretending to be you, and the weather turned bad when you were most vulnerable.”
“That’s… most likely.”
“Put this on.” Mabel brings me a heavy cloak lined with ermine. “You’ve got to stay warm and get well soon. How dare Lady Pembroke accuse you of fraud! I was completely flabbergasted when I heard the story. Honestly, how did she find someone who looks so similar to you? Do you think it’s possible that you could be twins?” She presses a hand on her chest. “Maybe that other girl was a sickly baby, but later survived when everyone presumed she was dead?”
I pull the cloak around my shoulders and am rewarded with instant warmth. “Thanks, Mabel. And no, I don’t think she is a long-lost twin sister.”
“Oh well.” Mabel shrugs. “Guess what—I found out the name of the guard outside! His name is Percival. Doesn’t it sound romantic?” She ducks her head, suddenly shy. “Do you, uh, do you think you can teach me a few tricks?”
“Teach you?”
“Well, you know, you attracted His Highness, and he’s so hard to please. So I wondered if you had, uh, some tips. Men never take me seriously.” She sounds so doleful that I have to smile, even when my own situation is down in the dumps.
“Be yourself.” I don’t dare to speak too loud, in case of another fit of coughing. “No tricks, honestly. It happens that Edward likes me the way I am. He likes that I’m different from most of the women of his acquaintance.”
She tilts her head, then her eyes widen. “Your… Your Highness!”
Edward has entered the study. He looks older than his age, and there’s a depressing aura surrounding him like a dark cloud.
“The magistrate has agreed to a re-schedule of the trial.” He looks straight at me, as though Mabel isn’t in the room.
“Great,” I say, managing a fake smile.
“And… I hate to disturb you, but my parents have requested an attendance.”
Finally. Ever since the trial, I’m surprised that my in-laws did not summon me for a private conversation. Or maybe Edward had already told them all they wanted to know. But now the inevitable has arrived.
I smooth my hair and straighten my skirts before I leave, but it turns out that the king and queen are already in the sitting room. I don’t know if it’s because of my ‘cold,’ or they can’t wait to see me.
The queen gives me a small smile, but the king sits with his arms folded. Clearly, they are here to talk to me about the problem of Katriona Bradshaw.
“Leave us.” The king snaps his fingers. Mabel drops a curtsy and scuttles out of the room. If there is anyone more intimidating than Edward, it has to be the king. His Majesty is said to be liberal-minded and conscientious, but I could tell he still has an authoritarian side. Edward prefers to argue in a roundabout manner whenever he gets into a disagreement with his father.
“Kat, dear,” the queen says, looking at me intently. “How are you feeling now?”
“The events that concern you recently have been enough to pen a sensational novel.” King Leon fixes a hard gaze on me. His gaze can be just as intense as Edward’s, but completely lacking in warmth. “First, we have a girl who looks exactly like you and claims to be the real daughter of Lady Bradshaw. And now Edward tells us that you have contracted an illness that cannot be cured, and you plan to leave the palace in three days.”
I open my mouth, but no sound comes out. All I can do is nod.
“Why didn’t you send for the palace physician?”
“Kat knows she cannot recover.” Edward holds my hand tightly. “It is quite certain.”
“Why didn’t you tell us until now?”
Edward gives an explanation about the disease being of a dormant kind that didn’t manifest its deadliness until recently. He also cites Dr. Jensen, and that it’s possible my barrenness is related to this disease. His calm, rational attitude makes my incredible situation sound convincing, and while the king and queen still look skeptical, they no longer stare at me like I’m a witch.
“This is dire.” The king looks grim. “We cannot afford a scandal. The whole country is abuzz with the news of you and your doppelgänger. And how are we to explain to the people when they learn that you’re leaving the palace and my son will be left a widower?”
I don’t know what to say. And honestly, even if I tell them about the goblins, what can the king and queen do? I have to leave Athelia.
“Kat, is it absolutely necessary that you must go?”
“Yes.” I repress the urge to burst out crying. “I’m sorry.”
“In that case,” the king says slowly, “when you leave, Katriona Bradshaw should move into the palace. She will take your place.”
The queen and I gasp. Katriona Bradshaw—as Edward’s wife and princess of Athelia? I do want Edward to find happiness after I’m gone, but is it necessary to find so
meone who looks like me?
Edward stands up, his expression livid. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard of.”
The king remains unperturbed. “Frankly speaking, it is too much trouble explaining to the press. If your illness is fatal, then the best thing to do is pretend that you’re alive. Let Katriona Bradshaw pose as you, and you can pretend to be the girl Bianca Bradshaw brought. We can inform the public that after the court trial, you realized the errors of the accusation and decided to disappear.”
I had thought that King Leon was a good father-in-law, and to be fair he has treated me with respect and courtesy, but when it comes to a situation like this, he chooses reputation over family. Anxious to preserve the royal image, the king is willing to manipulate matters and disregard his son’s feelings. He had warned me that I shouldn’t quarrel with Edward in public. No wonder he could make this callous suggestion.
“I will not accept that woman.” Edward’s tone is hard and flinty. “Kat cannot be carelessly replaced as though she were a cut of beef.”
“Sit down.”
He remains on his feet.
“Edward, sit down.”
I tug on his sleeve, and Edward reluctantly seats himself next to me.
“Remember that your privilege as the crown prince comes with a price. It is our duty to uphold moral values and set a model for our nation.”
Edward looks up, and I feel like my heart is shattering into a million pieces. He looks like a kid whose only toy is taken away. “I’ve done my best to adhere to your inculcations since I was a child. I promised that I would conduct myself with utmost propriety and never become a profligate like my grandfather. I never asked you for anything, except for the occasional leisure to tend to my garden, and the freedom to choose a wife I love. And now you deprive me of that freedom when Kat is gone.”
“Leon,” the queen says in a warning tone. “Enough of this. Can’t you see that he’s devastated by Kat’s illness?”
The king still looks stern, but when he speaks, his tone has softened considerably. “I understand that you are attached to Kat and unwilling to take another. As a matter of fact, I am not displeased of your refusal. I would not have you lack heart and emotion, like an automaton. However, I would ask that you pull yourself together after Kat leaves. Currently our nation is in an uproar of Katriona Bradshaw’s appearance. Reporters at our gates have been demanding for interviews. And Katriona’s name on the register alone is enough reason to bind her to you.”
Mr. Davenport had said the same thing. Legally, Katriona Bradshaw should be princess. Even if I could stay, Edward has to divorce her first before marrying me.
“And do not forget that Kat fainted in the trial. Some already perceive it as an admission of guilt. If she disappears now, people will be even more inclined to believe she stole the rightful identity of Katriona Bradshaw. Surely you don’t want Kat’s name in the mud when she’s gone?”
Edward doesn’t answer. I don’t care about what propriety dictates; I take his arm and stare at the king and queen, silently begging them to leave. The queen takes the cue and tugs on the king’s sleeve. He looks at me for a long moment, and then stands up.
“Are you absolutely certain that nothing can be done for you?”
This time I can’t hold it in any longer. I nod, and a tear slides down my cheek.
When the door closes behind them, I bury my face into Edward’s chest and hold him tight. He is uncommonly indifferent, which shows how much affected he is by the king’s orders. Normally he’d caress my hair, stroke my back, or simply carry me to bed.
“Please don’t feel guilty about what your father said,” I whisper. “I understand how difficult your position is.”
“I wish I weren’t a prince,” he says bitterly. “I wish that you were an Athelian, or I lived in your world. After everything we have been through, I can’t bear losing you, much less forcing myself to pretend Katriona Bradshaw is you.”
What I feel like doing at the moment is to break down and sob into his chest. But seeing him so broken-hearted, I resolve to be strong. I have to think of something to make us feel better.
“Look at it this way,” I say softly. “I wasn’t supposed to come back a second time. But I did, and we had eight months together. Well, maybe there were only a few months that we truly lived as a married couple, but if the goblins didn’t send me back, we’d only have my seventeen-year-old memories.”
I take his face in my hands. He stares into my eyes, drinking me in, like I am the only person who can make him feel alive.
“This second time, we’ve grown even closer.” I smile, though another tear trickles down my cheek. “Compared to the first time I was transported to Athelia, we have had more chances being together. We got to live together as husband and wife.”
He nods, but the pain remains in his eyes.
“Take me to bed.” I take his hand and kiss his fingertips. “No matter whether I die or go back to my own world, I want to remember you. I am definitely not going to get my memories erased this time.”
46
Amelie and Mabel are surprised when they find me sitting at my desk, engaged in letter-writing.
“But it’s the weekend!” Mabel says, as if I should do nothing but laze around. “You don’t have to work through the letters until tomorrow.”
I move my arm to block the paper on the desk, because I don’t want them to see what I’m actually writing. “It’s all right. Since I don’t have anything to do, I might as well get some work done. That way, I’ll have less to work on tomorrow.”
When they are gone, I let out a sigh of relief. Only Edward knows what I am actually doing. I am writing letters to my friends, to be read after I leave Athelia. Actually, I had written similar letters last year before the wedding, but they were never posted since I returned to Athelia. This time, I will be gone for good. Unless some miracle happens . . .
I try very hard not to break down and cry as I write to Poppy how much I value her friendship and how I wish that I could see my godchildren grow up. “Give them my love, and let them know that on the other side of the universe, there is someone always thinking about them.”
For Elle, I send her the best wishes for her marriage with Henry. Finally, they have reached the happy ending that is long overdue. Still, I’m sad that I won’t get to see her in a veil and wedding dress. She was absolutely stunning in that fairy-made gown in the ball.
I thank Henry for his help with my social reforms and also for bringing Edward and me together. I hope that he and Elle will be very happy. I wish him a safe trip, and also warn him that he had better not cheat on Elle with some Moryn girl, or I will get the duchess to summon him back to Somerset.
When I seal up the last letter, which is for Mr. Wellesley, I find a ribbon, bundle the letters together and lock them in a drawer. I will leave the key for Edward so that he can give those letters to my friends after I’m gone.
A fit of coughing seizes me and I try my best to keep it under control. The last thing I want is the maids insisting on bringing a doctor for me, and risk exposing the mark on my shoulder. Then I would really be guilty of witchcraft.
After managing to stop the coughing with a mug of warm water, I rise and approach the windows, taking in the winter wonderland outside. Icicles glisten on the trees, the ground looks like a giant piece of marshmallow, and the wind stirs a flurry of flakes in the air, glittering under the sunlight. If only my body wasn’t getting weaker, I would have ventured into the gardens. While Edward still holds hope that Krev was kidding, deep down inside I can feel my life ebbing out of my body bit by bit.
At least I’ve been forewarned. It would be a real tragedy if Krev didn’t show up and I ran out of oxygen in the middle of the court trial.
“Princess?” Mabel knocks on the door. “Your visitor has arrived.”
“Very well. I will be out in a moment.”
I tuck the key of the drawer in my pocket before going into the sitting r
oom. There, sitting on the sofa, is Katriona Bradshaw, while Bianca stands beside her, arms crossed and eyes flashing.
I frown. I had only asked for Katriona Bradshaw. “Thank you for accepting my invitation,” I say, addressing Katriona. “If you don’t mind, can I have a private conversation with you? I have another room inside.”
“What are you planning to say to her?” Bianca says, eying me as if I have a knife under my sleeve. “I can’t allow her to speak to you if I don’t know what you are planning to do.”
“You may stay here while we talk in the other room. I promise you that I have no intention of doing anything.” I hand her an envelope. “In fact, if you read this, you will know that I mean no harm.”
Bianca snatches the envelope from my hands and reads the paper it contains. Her eyes get bigger and bigger, and she looks up at me, incredulous. “You are withdrawing from the case? You are willing to admit that you are not my sister?”
“Yes.”
Bianca looks as if she has swallowed a whole apple. “If you were going to admit the truth, then why didn’t you do it in the beginning? Why waste the time going to court? What are you playing at?”
Because of the goblins. My head goes dizzy for a second, and I try not to let it show. I must keep a clear mind when talking to Katriona Bradshaw.
“If you don’t believe me, go ask my husband.” I savor the words ‘my husband’ as I say them. No matter how Bianca strives, she will never be able to refer to Edward as her spouse. “He is already conveying my decision to the king and queen. Now, if you will excuse us.” I gesture to my study. “Miss Katriona, if you please.”
Katriona darts an anxious look at Bianca, who shrugs and tells her she’ll be waiting in the sitting room. Slowly, Katriona rises and follows me into the study. In a way, I could see why Bianca didn’t suspect me when I was first transported to Athelia. Katriona looks like someone who is used to being bullied and ignored. However, unlike Elle, who remains sweet and kind-hearted, something in Katriona’s aura lacks benevolence.