by Every, Donna
“Shari, no one says ‘jerk’ anymore.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yes. I guess I may still have my moments, but at least they’re less now. Sometimes it can be pretty damaging to have everything you want. It can lead to arrogance, which is why it’s so humbling to have you around. This is one time that I can’t have what I want. Yet.”
Shari looked at him briefly as she pulled into her driveway. “Delayed gratification is a good thing,” she assured him.
“That gives me hope,” he smiled, “because it means that gratification will come eventually. But how long is eventually?”
Shari didn’t answer; she would let him work that out. After all, the ball was definitely in his court.
“What have you got in your fridge?” Nick didn’t wait for a reply as he went digging through her vegetable drawer. “Lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber. Great! Have you got any Kalamata olives by any chance? What about Feta cheese?”
He located the Feta cheese, but couldn’t find any olives in the jumble of jars in her fridge. She nudged him out of the way and located the olives near the back of the top shelf and triumphantly handed it to him.
“You didn’t look properly.”
“I’m surprised you actually have Kalamata olives. They’re my favorite.” He rewarded her for having some with a brief platonic kiss on the lips.
“Mine too.”
“I’m discovering that we have a lot in common. This is good.” He approved his findings. Shari didn’t comment.
“Out of the way so that I can find some stuff to make the sandwiches.”
“You’re a bossy wench!” he complained.
“Wench? You were talking about me saying ‘jerk’? Where did you even dig up that word from?” She pretended to be offended. “Isn’t it an old English word for a promiscuous woman?”
“Oh, sorry; then you’re definitely not a wench. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He turned back to peck her on the cheek. Did I really just say that? Nick questioned his sanity. He wasn’t helping his case. Or was he?
“We’re making progress, then.”
Nick smiled at Shari’s comment. It sounded as if Shari wanted to make progress, which was a good sign.
“Do you have Greek dressing?”
“No. I’ll make some balsamic vinaigrette in a minute.”
“You’re a woman of many talents,” he praised, stopping to kiss the side of her neck.
Did Nick know that he was driving her to distraction with these little kisses? Or was this part of his strategy to weaken her and then move in for the kill? Maybe I’m being too suspicious and he’s just the demonstrative type, Shari thought. After all, she really didn’t know him that well, at least not that way.
“So much for not mixing business and pleasure,” she murmured under her breath.
Nick heard her and smiled to himself. He was enjoying cooking with Shari in her tiny kitchen and he couldn’t seem to help himself from touching her in some way. Surely she couldn’t be complaining about these chaste kisses. What would she say if she knew what he really wanted to do?
In the end, they ate their sandwiches and salad hurriedly as the time was fast approaching for Shari to take Nick back to his hotel.
“Lily will have my head if I make them wait again.”
“Don’t remind me! I can’t believe that we spent an hour waiting for you because you were in bed with someone called Cinnamon Brown. You truly are disgusting, Nick!”
“I was, Shari. I’m not anymore.”
“It’s only been five days. Talk to me again in New York.”
“I’m serious, Shari. I’m breaking the habit. I want you to trust me.”
“Why? We’re not together or anything. You don’t need my trust.”
“I want to be with you, so I do need your trust.”
“I don’t know, Nick. I’ve got myself back together. I don’t need another heartbreak and you have ‘heartbreaker’ written all over you.” So much for her saying it was worth it just a few hours ago. Things tended to change in the light of day.
“Give me a chance to prove myself, Shari. You can get to know me better at my parents’ and in Barbados. I really hope you can come.”
Could she trust him with her heart? And what did he mean that he wanted to be with her? Was he talking physically still or was he more serious? Surely he knew that it was marriage or nothing with her. Did they even know each other long enough?
She enjoyed being with him last night and today, but she almost felt that Nick was in a sort of cocoon, shut away from the real world. What would happen when he left and was caught up in life on the road again? What would he do when the next Cinnamon Brown offered herself to him?
She pulled up at his hotel and parked. She felt confused with all the questions going around in her head. She wished Nick would leave and give her space to think, but, at the same time, she didn’t want him to go.
“See you in New York?” Nick asked.
“Definitely.”
“I’ll be thinking about you and what you said about giving back in some way. Thank you for letting me into your life. It meant a lot to me.”
Nick leaned over and kissed her gently on her lips before getting out of the car.
For the first time, Shari felt that there was hope for them.
Chapter 24
December 14
I can’t believe that it’s only been a few days that Nick has been gone. My life feels so empty. When did he begin to have a leading role in my life? He called me a couple of nights ago from Washington, but I haven’t spoken to him since and I can’t help wondering what he’s doing and with whom. I have got to stop looking online to see if there are any pictures of him with other women. Either I’m going to trust him or I’m not. But it’s so hard with his track record. I need to learn to trust again, but Nick also needs to prove that he’s worthy of my trust.
I’m very happy with the documentary. The New York finale and the piece with his parents will just cement it. I’m not sure how I feel about going to his parents’ house now. Before, I was going as the journalist doing a documentary about him; now, I’m not sure what I’m going as. I wonder if I’ll meet his ex-wife since she still lives in the town. That might be weird.
I’m not even sure if I’m looking forward to going to New York or not. I miss him, but in New York I’ll have to share him with his public. When did I become so pathetic??? I’m going to spend some quiet time alone with God. I need to get back to my North or else I may end up making Nick into an idol. That’s the last thing either of us needs.
New York
Nick’s eyes scanned the crowded room. He wished to be anywhere but at the party. He would much rather be sitting on Shari’s couch talking with her, or cooking together in her small kitchen. Lord, he had it bad. Someone had put a drink in his hand, but he hardly drank any; he wanted to keep a clear head.
He stopped a passing waiter to deposit the barely tasted drink on his tray. As he was asking him to bring a glass of water with lemon, a beautiful brunette drew up beside him. She looked vaguely familiar.
“Hi Nick! Great to see you again!” Nick searched his mind and came up blank. While her face was familiar, he couldn’t place her and coming up with a name was out of the question. Had he slept with her when he was last in New York? No, he’d been with Cinnamon. Who was she?
“I’m Honey Farrell. I used to dance with Cinnie Brown. She introduced us at a party last year. You were with her then, but I see that you’re alone tonight,” she added coyly. Nick would have to be blind and deaf not to notice the blatant invitation.
“Hi, Honey. Cinnamon and Honey? You’re joking, right?” He laughed.
“You could have had honey and spice last year, but Cinnamon wasn’t keen on sharing. Thankfully she’s in Miami so I hope you’re not watching your sugar intake,” she smiled invitingly.
Nick took a close look at her for the first time. There was only one word he could use to describe her: h
ot. The dress she was wearing didn’t challenge his imagination and the crowded room gave her an excuse to press against him, so that he didn’t have to wonder how she felt either. The perfume that tickled his nose smelled like one of his favorites. A flicker of desire stirred in him.
A picture of Shari in her old jeans and white sweater flashed into his mind making him smile and he mentally shifted his thoughts away from the temptation of Honey. He followed that by putting some breathing space between them.
“Does that smile mean that you’re in the mood for something sweet tonight?”
“Honey, you are the hottest woman in the room. And believe me, even two weeks ago, there wouldn’t have been any question about leaving with you, but there’s someone that I’m committed to, so I have to refuse your very tempting offer.”
“Oh, Nick, I’m sorry to hear that. But I also respect your decision. She’s a very lucky woman.”
“Thanks, Honey.” Nick kissed her on the cheek, put his empty glass on a nearby table and left the party.
Madison Square Garden
New York City
The excitement inside Shari was multiplied a thousand times in Madison Square Garden. For Nick’s last concert of the tour she had braved the crowd to be in the front row again so that she could appreciate fully what the fans would be receiving when Nick came on the stage. She wondered what dramatic entrance was planned for him tonight. Would he rise from the stage like in Vegas or be lowered from the ceiling on a platform as in Denver? She didn’t care; she was just longing to see him again.
The last five days had seemed interminable and she was relieved when she hopped on the plane for JFK earlier that day. She hadn’t seen Nick yet, since they were doing last minute rehearsals for the finale, but she’d spoken to him the night before or early in the morning, really. He had left the after party early and went back to his hotel to call her. As he talked to her, he had described the view of Central Park and Manhattan from his suite and told her that he wished she was there to share it with him. He said he missed her and couldn’t wait for her to get to New York. She had disconnected the call with a big, silly smile on her face.
Her reminiscing was interrupted as laser beams suddenly crisscrossed the stage as if a high-level security system had been breached. New beams were added and began to move around in time to music which started out low and intensified until it filled the Garden. The crowd began to scream in anticipation of what was to come. The light display built in intensity and in sync with the music until an explosion of lights and smoke signaled the climax. All around her cell phones were raised to capture the moment. The lasers were killed and Nick’s name was announced and blazed across the stage in lights. From the back of the stage Nick emerged to the greetings of his screaming fans.
What followed for the next two hours was truly worthy of the climax of any world tour. The set and lighting designers had gone all out to create a show that would not soon be forgotten and Nick performed with everything that was in him. She would forever remember the screaming, hysterical fans, the cell phones raised to capture each stunning performance, the magnetism of Nick’s performance and the energy with which he owned the stage.
By the time he performed the penultimate song called “I’m Not the Same”, which he announced that he’d just written, she was like the rest of the crowd – clay in the hands of a master sculptor. She was transfixed as he sang the ballad, sitting on a bar stool as he had in Miami when he paid tribute to the fans who had died. As Shari listened to the words, hope rose in her and she wondered if it was a message for her. She couldn’t help the tears that rolled down her cheeks.
The lights dimmed for moments and, before the tears could even dry on her cheeks, Nick was ready for the final song which had the audience rocking again. When he asked if the fans wanted one last song, it was really a rhetorical question as the band was already moving into a faster paced version of “Moving On”. Shari wondered which song she should believe: “I’m Not the Same” or “Moving On”.
The bodyguards formed a barricade around Nick and the band and hurried them past screaming fans and paparazzi all doing their best to take photos or to touch them. As Shari was hustled along with the group, it reminded her of Vegas and the first time that she had experienced anything like that. Would she ever get used to this? She had told Nick that it was worth it to be with him.
The door to the limo closed behind her and Nick, shutting out the noise of the crowd and creating a sense of intimacy even in the large car.
“How come we have the limo to ourselves?”
“I arranged it before so that I could have you to myself,” Nick confessed, putting an arm around her shoulders to pull her closer. “I missed you.”
Shari barely managed to echo his words before Nick cut them off with his kiss. Her response was immediate. Winding her hands around his neck and into his hair, she kissed him back with all of the pent-up longing that was in her. This time, Nick was the one who broke the kiss.
“Whew!” He sounded strained. “That’s not good for a man who has been celibate for nearly two weeks.”
“Nick, I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you! I’m proud of me too,” he joked. “So, how do you do this?”
“I try to refocus my thoughts on God, work, other activities. I find I’ve been asking God to help me a lot recently. Since I met you, in fact,” she teased. “I know that I’m making it into a joke, but I’m very serious. You’re a temptation, but I can’t give in to you.”
He nodded, understanding with his head in spite of the protest that his body was making.
“So where is the after party tonight?”
“It’s actually a smallish party in one of the event rooms of the hotel.”
“When can I interview you about the tour and tonight’s concert? Can you slip away for a few minutes?”
“You can come up to my room to chat for a few minutes before I have to show my face.”
Excitement leaped in Shari at Nick’s words before she reined her thoughts in.
“Is that a good idea?”
“I’ll be on my best behavior,” Nick promised.
“OK, I’ll come for a few minutes so that I can wrap up. When are you leaving?”
“I’m going home in the morning. You don’t know how much I want to get home, sleep in my own bed and drive my cars.” He smiled in anticipation. “Why don’t you fly to my place on the twenty-third and I’ll drive you to my parents’.”
Shari thought about it for a few minutes. She’d love to see where Nick lived and she would prefer to arrive at his parents’ with him.
“Sounds like a plan. I’ll see what flights are available and arrange it.”
“Great!” Nick was looking forward to having Shari in his space, seeing her in his house and being with her without the crowds.
The journey that would normally take twenty minutes stretched to forty-five as the limo crawled along in the Manhattan traffic. Many of the cars and taxis were caused by Nick’s concert as well as just the New York life. Shari turned to look out of the window at the shoppers hustling by, the spectacular lights and the elaborate Christmas decorations in the storefronts and hotel lobbies. She had always loved Manhattan and especially at this time of the year with the Holidays approaching. Being with Nick only made it more special.
“I love Christmas!” She turned to Nick with excitement making her face glow. She found him looking at her with amusement. “What?” she asked him.
“I’m remembering when you saw the blue bear in Denver. You have the same look on your face now. Like a child at Christmas.”
She laughed in joy and Nick couldn’t help but pick up her hand to kiss it. Contentment flooded his soul.
The limo pulled up to the curb and the door opened to flashes of light and shouting fans which was as effective in bringing them back to reality as being woken up with a bucket of cold water.
“Nick!”
“Awesome concert, Nick!”
&nbs
p; “We love you, Nick!” a group of girls shouted.
There were more flashes and photos until they were hustled through the doors of the hotel and into the safety of the elevator which would take them to Nick’s suite.
“How do people even find out where you’re staying?” Shari asked in amazement.
“I guess it’s kind of hard to keep our whereabouts a secret. As soon as we’re spotted going into a hotel the word gets out. In any case, the paparazzi are like bloodhounds.”
The doors opened on the 51st floor and Nick’s bodyguard escorted them to the door of the Presidential Suite.
“I’ll be here when you’re ready to go down Nick.” He opened the door, gave Nick the key and stepped back to position himself outside to wait. Nick gestured for Shari to go before him and followed her into the suite, closing the door behind them.
The click of the door closing made Shari's heart leap at the thought that she was alone in Nick's suite. Stop it, Shari, she cautioned herself. Now is one of those times to refocus.
The décor of the suite gave her the perfect opportunity to do so. The foyer opened into an elegant living room decorated in bronze and bone tones with cabinets boasting semi-precious stones. Shari was drawn to the floor-to-ceiling bay windows which framed the brilliantly lit skyline that was the backdrop for Central Park. A few lights managed to penetrate the trees, relieving the total darkness of the park.
“What an awesome view!”
“I agree,” Nick said.
Shari turned away from the window to find him looking at her. The desire in his eyes caused an answering twinge in her. Nick was the one who broke the eye contact, turning away to head towards the kitchen.
“Can I get you a drink?”
“Sure, coffee, if it’s not too much trouble.”
“No prob. I can order some.”
“Can I have a look around?”
“Sure, help yourself. I’d give you a guided tour, but it’s not that big.”