by Tamara Allen
Still--if Phillip intended to tell his parents the sordid details of what he believed was Sutton's latest indiscretion, the unexpected pain in his face said otherwise. "You're taking advantage of a sick boy. He was injured overseas, you know. He isn't himself--"
"You really believe that?" Surprised as he was by Phillip's abrupt defense, Jack knew how much of it was just another kind of denial. He had seen it before. And something in Phillip's manner made Jack think he had, too.
If so, Phillip wasn't going to acknowledge it. His lips thinned, the sullen gleam returning to douse other emotions in his eyes. "You won't get a penny--"
"I don't want your money. Or your dad's." Funny, how it always came around to that. "I guess it never crossed your mind that maybe I just like Sutton?"
"It's getting rather late--" Phillip looked around in sudden alarm. "Where's Mary?"
Jack twisted in his chair to see Sutton returning alone. Mary was still dancing--with Theo, to Jack's amusement.
"You know that fellow?" Phillip asked as Sutton sat and poured a fresh glass. "He's not a jazz musician, is he?"
"He's entirely respectable." Sutton met Jack's glance. "And more importantly, he's good-hearted. Mary's safe." At Phillip's sharp glance, Sutton laughed. "We are forever vexing you, aren't we?"
Phillip looked alarmed over whatever family secret Sutton appeared about to share. "Sutton--"
"Go ahead," Jack said with a grin.
"It's funny, really," Sutton said. "I was seven, as I recall, Mary ten, and Phillip thirteen. Mother and Dad had gone to a summer tea party at a hotel in town and Phillip had the care of us for the afternoon. Mary was enchanted with the idea of dancing at a tea party so she put me in my best suit and we started off to find the hotel." Sutton looked at his brother. "You had your nose in a book--didn't you? And never knew we'd gone until we were well on our way. Of course we couldn't find the correct hotel, but the one we found was just as good. There was dancing in the dining room and a nice fellow gave me ice cream and Mary a dance while they sent a boy to summon our parents. Mother was horrified--" Sutton's brow wrinkled. "Though I have the strangest memory of Father laughing about it."
"And it's been thrown up to me ever since," Phillip said.
"I wasn't," Sutton said gently. "Anyway, it was an innocent mistake. Everyone was amused afterward and Mary and I had a splendid time."
"Of course you did. Mother and Father never admonished you--"
"For heaven's sake. It hardly transformed you into the black sheep of the family."
"If you're the black sheep, it's your own doing."
"It is. But I'm learning to live with my mistakes. I think I can acknowledge them. You still think Mary and I should have known better than to wander off, unchaperoned."
Phillip frowned. "You should," he muttered and sipped at his champagne.
Sutton smiled. "Certainly we should know better now, I suppose," he said as Mary returned to the table, flushed and laughing, Theo at her side. Sutton introduced him to Phillip and invited him to sit.
"Can't, my dears. I'm singing in a minute." Theo snagged Jack's sleeve. "A word with you, Mr. Bailey?"
Excusing himself, Jack left the table, with Theo still plucking at his coat. "What's all this?" Theo said, nearly drowned out by the band. "Shall I behave myself? Such a sweet bunch of baby chicks. Whatever possessed you to bring them here?"
"Jazz. Mary was curious."
"Ah." Theo nodded. "Graham said the band wanted to ask Sutton in again. How's his shoulder?"
"Still on the bum. He's not ready to play yet." Jack looked around. Sutton and Mary were laughing, at the tale of the tea party, he guessed. A petulant Phillip seemed ready to scold them until Mary leaned over and kissed his cheek. To Jack's surprise, Phillip gave in to the rueful semblance of a smile.
"Lovely family," Theo said. "They know about--"
"Phillip and Mary know. I don't think it'll be long before their folks know, too."
"Think you're cooked?"
"Pounded, diced, and broiled. You're performing?"
Theo's gaze was sympathetic. "I'll keep it polite just for this performance. I don't want to shock the dear little girl too much. That stiff-necked brother, however--"
"He's probably not so bad, somewhere deep down." Maybe even not so deep. The three of them were laughing now and he suspected they were digging up other childhood misadventures as the champagne level dropped. Phillip looked decidedly more like his siblings with a smile on his face. Lovely family, Jack mused. He supposed they weren't any worse or better than any other family.
"Jack?" Theo's voice broke into his thoughts. "There are ways--"
"I've thought of them all. It's not going to work." Jack turned to him. "Sing something cheery, will you?"
"Jack," Theo said softly.
"For God's sake, don't hug me. Just go sing."
Theo went, but Jack stayed for a few minutes and watched the Albright kids regale each other--watched Sutton, mostly. The band started up again and Theo took the stage, a trio of young men joining him. As requested, he began with an upbeat number, his beautiful tenor rising above the others. Afterward, Jack stole a dance with Mary and out on the dance floor, she whispered to him, "I'm glad you're better."
"Thanks. Your beau's name is John?"
Heartache clouded her eyes and it took her a long minute to answer. "John Campbell."
Jack impetuously kissed her cheek. "I know it's tough, but--can you give him a little more time? Talk to him and don't give up till he starts talking, too. Some of it will be awful to hear, but if you can bear it--well, I've heard it helps." Jack smiled. "Just don't forget to talk about the future. He's got to hope."
"You hope for things," she said, and when he just nodded, she smiled. "You're a good fellow, Jack."
He was glad she thought so. He wasn't feeling like one. They had hardly returned to the hotel and said their good-nights to Mary and Phillip when Sutton closed the door, locked it, and took Jack into his arms without a word. Jack hid burning eyes in Sutton's coat collar and wished he could stand there, holding on forever.
Sutton pressed warm lips to his jaw. "Stay."
God, how he wanted to. "I'll get you into trouble."
Sutton moved toward the bed, taking him along. They landed in a heap on the mattress and still Jack wanted nothing more than to just hold on.
Sutton looked at him in the darkness. "I like the way you get me into trouble," he said and kissed him.
Jack stayed until five-thirty. In the pale light that glowed from behind lush drapes, he dressed and left Sutton curled asleep and no doubt dreaming of the big night ahead. Though he had cab fare, Jack took the subway home, wanting the noise and warmth, needing the distraction. He knew Sutton would stay at the hotel to practice for the concert and it was just as well.
With time to kill, he took a brush to his evening clothes, readying them for later. He went down for breakfast and though it was still too early to open, he did. Customers came in immediately, asking about the program, and Jack invited them to the Plaza concert. He wanted Sutton to have the thunder of applause he couldn't have with the radio show. He wanted to fill the ballroom until guests overflowed into the street and the park beyond.
Working straight through lunch, he cajoled and charmed customers with everything in him. Harry would only comment on the substantial receipts as they closed up.
"We did all right," Jack said. "You going home to dress?"
"Yeah." Harry eyed him. "You okay?"
"Are you kidding? Our boy's first big concert. I've never been better."
"Uh huh." Harry put the receipts away and gathered his things. "Gert singing tonight?"
"Yeah. I'll go over for Esther and we'll meet you there."
Harry nodded. At the door, he looked back. "You know, Jackie--even if he gets more invitations, he'll play for us."
"I know." Jack returned that reassurance with a blithe smile and went up to dress. Coming back down, he bumped into Ox, who was headed acros
s the street for Esther. They'd no sooner stepped foot in the restaurant than they knew Ida had thrown their plans for a loop. Esther, still in her apron, scurried to keep up with orders for the supper crowd.
Jack followed on her heels. "It's six-fifteen, Es. We have to go."
"I can't." She tugged a loose curl behind her ear and raised stricken eyes from her notepad to look at Jack. "I'm sorry. Honestly, tell Sutton I'm sorry--"
"Why can't you? What's wrong?"
Jack knew what her tears meant. He turned for the kitchen, but Esther caught his arm. "Jack, don't. It's not her fault. We're just busier than we've ever been. Anyway, you don't need me there. Gert can carry it fine on her own."
"You were looking forward to it," Ox said quietly.
Ida came out of the kitchen, seeming as weary as Esther. "Well, no surprise what's been holding you up. I've suppers ready for serving."
"You knew Esther wanted to go early tonight," Jack said. "I'll stay and wait tables--"
"Jack, no," Esther said. "You can't miss Sutton's concert."
"I'll set up the radio here and we'll have it just as good." He turned to Ida. "What do you say?"
Her mouth took an irritated downturn but, to his amazement, she gave in. "Suit yourself. But if you're bringing that radio contraption over here, she'll stay until you're done with it and ready to work. Esther, take these suppers before they're cold."
She went into the kitchen and Jack swung to Esther. "Let Ox bring the suppers. You go up and dress and I'll get the radio."
At six-thirty sharp, Jack bundled Esther and Ox into a cab, paid their fare, and stood at the curb until they were out of sight. He felt lonesome and tried to comfort himself with the possibility that he could be on time for the party after the concert. For now, he would at least hear Sutton play. At the far end of the lunch counter the radio receiver sat, with an improvised aerial--and music piping out from the horn just loud enough to grab the attention of everyone who came in.
I
When the supper crowd at last dwindled to a couple at a corner table, Jack sat at the counter and dropped his head in his arms. He was nearly asleep when the first soft notes crept in. The restaurant melted away and he was on the piano bench, leaning against Sutton while he conjured something sweet and aching.
From the first lullaby, Sutton had played for him. He was none too sure what he'd given Sutton in return. A safe place from which to test his newfound freedom. A square meal every day and a laugh now and then. It didn't feel like an even trade.
"Ida, you going to have music with supper every night?" the young woman asked.
Ida's attention fixed on the radio. "I could, if I had a mind to. That's decent music, there."
Jack would have laughed if he hadn't felt so worn. At least he was returning Sutton in as nearly a respectable state as he'd taken him. And just in time. Sutton would go back to Kansas in a cloud of rumors, but rumors were one thing--newspaper stories, arrest, and public disgrace were another. All that was left was to stand on the station platform with a wave and a smile as Sutton's train pulled out. It wouldn't be the first time he'd put a cheerful face on things and he didn't suppose it would be the last.
He helped Ida sweep up and close, though the concert had ended and everyone might yet expect him at the party. His evening clothes were mostly clean, but as ready for the Plaza as he looked, he was too heartsick to go. Nor could he face the thought of going home to bed. He had to settle for a different sort of comfort. He shrugged into his coat as Ida came to the door with her keys. "You want some pie and coffee?" she asked.
The offer surprised him. "I don't even want to look at food again tonight." He found his old grin. "A little gin and jazz, on the other hand--"
She looked disgusted and they were back on usual terms. "What about that box, then? You're taking it home with you."
"I'll come for the radio in the morning. Or send Ox. 'Night, Ida. You can keep my tips."
"Out with you," she said and locked the door behind him.
Jack stood on the sidewalk and watched as people in coats and scarves hurried home to hot meals and welcoming arms. It was a time of day he had come to look forward to. And all the other moments in the day hadn't been so bad lately, either. Maybe he'd hit another dead end, but he didn't have to sit and bawl about it. He would just retrace his steps, keep moving, and try not to think too much until he could do it without his heart crushing to dust in his chest.
Distractions would keep him in one piece. If it was still only a semblance of a normal life, it was something to hang on to. And the only thing that might keep him from letting go altogether.
- Forty-Nine -
Sutton stayed in the crowded ballroom for the better part of an hour, greeting well-wishers and switching the plate of cake from his right hand to his left only when it was necessary to shake hands. Dead on his feet, he hung on doggedly, buoyed by the hope Jack would appear and steal away with him to marvel over the concert's success. By eleven, the throb of his shoulder had grown fierce enough that he had to wonder why his arm didn't simply fall off--and that it might be a relief if it would.
Esther came to his rescue, taking him to a quiet room away from the crowd and sending Ox for an ice pack. "Ida's only just closing up, you know--otherwise, Jack would be here." She tucked a pillow behind his shoulder. "He heard every minute, despite Ida, I'm sure. He knows we were just swell."
Her face brightened and Sutton swallowed against the ache in his throat. "We were that." He said it lightly, but Esther seemed to see right through him.
"He'll be along. Ida probably has him sweeping the floor and I'm sure he's complaining through every bit of it--"
"Esther." He caught the hands that were busy fluffing another pillow.
She looked at him, her heart in her eyes. "You know, when Frank Hollister used to come by the restaurant and flirt, I--" Her face crumpled a little. "I never told him off, not once. I thought Ox was just never going to let me know if he liked me." She sat on the ottoman and smoothed the skirts of the green dress Gert had insisted she keep. "I thought maybe if another fellow was sweet on me, Ox would just have to say something--if he was ever going to. So when Frank went on about a party he wanted to take me to, I made him think I was interested in going."
"You did?"
Her face crumpled a little more, but she nodded. "I didn't know how mean I was till I saw Ox looking over at me like he'd been kicked." She folded her hands over her breast as if the memory caused her physical pain. "I knew he cared. And what I was feeling for him, it was the honest-to-God real thing. When he just got up and walked out, so quiet, I knew. I never felt so awful in my life."
"I know how you must've felt, Es. But it came out all right."
"It did." Her smile stretched, even as tears slipped. "More than I ever hoped. So you see."
"That I should flirt with someone else?" Sutton said gravely.
Esther rolled her eyes and laughed. "Silly. No--just that Jack's a little like Ox. He's sweet as pie, but talking about the things deep down in his heart don't come easily to him. And he's lost so much lately, he won't let himself believe that anything coming his way will last."
"He knows how I feel--" Sutton stopped as Esther dropped her gaze. "I'm sorry, Esther. I don't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"Oh, I'm all right." She gave a little shrug and hesitantly looked at him. "I'm sure Jack does know. How you feel always shines right out. That day you first came into Ida's, I could tell you were mighty anxious. Even when you tried to look cheerful, something in your eyes--" She gave up on expressing it and just shook her head.
He was touched she had noticed so much. "Ox is a lucky fellow."
Esther shook her head again. "I'm the lucky one. Jack is, too, and he knows it. Oh, Sutton, he knows."
"Perhaps he's more sure of my feelings than his own," Sutton said as Ox reappeared, carrying one of the hotel's napkins, bulky with dripping ice. "I think I'm going to go upstairs. Esther, would you tell everyone--"
/> "Of course." She helped him up and he took the ice, thanking Ox. Esther held on to his sleeve. "If Jack comes in--"
"I'd like to talk to him."
She looked relieved. "We'll send him up."
He knew they would, but he was less confident Jack would come--at least not until it was late and everyone had left. If Jack never showed up at all...
Sutton was too tired to think about what that might mean. He reached his room and, not bothering to switch on the light, sat on the bed and pressed the ice to his shoulder. He waited a while, aching and sleepy, absorbing the distant chatter, footfalls, and music from somewhere--all the constant coming and going particular to hotel life. City lights slipped through the drapes to make soothing shadows. It lulled, but still he didn't want to sleep, didn't want to end the night without a word from Jack.
Midnight crept in and Sutton, snapping back to wakefulness, staggered up and got his coat. A light rain fell by the time he reached the shop. Both it and Ida's stood dark and shut. He went upstairs to discover an empty apartment and it occurred to him that he might have passed Jack on the way from the hotel.
Before going back, he decided to try one last place, one place he knew Jack would go at such a late and rainy hour. Wishing he hadn't dismissed the cab, he walked the few blocks to the club, to arrive damp and chilled but unmindful of it in hopes of finding Jack. It didn't take long. Perched on a table midway between the bar and the dance floor, Jack, Theo, and three other fellows swayed back and forth and sang with gin-fueled enthusiasm, much to the entertainment of several nearby patrons.
"You might've sent word we were celebrating down here."
The singing trailed off into awkward silence. Jack stared at Sutton for a startled instant before grinning as if nothing were wrong. "Well, look who's here. Didn't think we'd see you tonight. The concert was a whiz-bang--wasn't it, Theo?"
Theo was sober enough to look troubled. "The whizziest," he said, reaching for the bottle of gin and offering it meekly. "Have a drink?"