Well … not really.
Not the cuddling part. Not so much. It was more like Sawyer was trying to cuddle. And I let him, sort of. But I couldn’t exactly settle down and be comfortable with it. Probably because Jeremy was there. Well, not really. Definitely because Jeremy was there.
We did totally smoke them all in Trivia Pursuit, though. That part was real—not just show. And I liked Sawyer’s band. They were tight, close. I wanted to fit in with them. But I didn’t think I could. Because, of course, there was the Kenzie issue. And the Jeremy issue. And even if there wasn’t all that, I wasn’t really able to make friends anymore. I had a wall built around me. I couldn’t let people in. Well, except Sawyer. He seemed to be getting in, sort of. But that was only because he kept barging in, doggedly breaking down my walls, smashing them faster than I could build them.
“Okay, new game,” Eve said hopping to her feet. She led us into the kitchen and got out a couple of beers. She handed one to each guy in the room, except Sawyer. Instead, she gave him a can of soda. “Okay, now we’re going to have a contest to see who can drink the fastest,” she explained. “But you have to puncture a hole in the can and drink out of that. Girls, lick up the dribble that runs down their faces—that’s part of the game. No beer on the floor.”
The game sounded pretty lame to me, but everyone went along with it. It was Eve’s house. If she wanted puddles of beer on the floor, well okay.
Eve told the guys when to go and they all started chugging. I laughed the whole time Sawyer was drinking. He was making way more of a mess than I could possibly keep up with, but I tried. In the end we didn’t win, but we didn’t lose either. Jeremy did. He was busy drinking long after everyone else had finished.
“Loser! Loser!” Zack and Micah chanted as Jeremy chugged down the last of his beer. “Looooser!”
“What do you expect?” Chloe sounded bitter.
Puzzled, we all turned to look at her. What was that about?
Chloe clenched her teeth. “He was busy watching Miss Goodie Two-shoes over there lick her boyfriend’s face the whole time.”
My stomach looped and knotted and my heart went spastic. Jeremy was watching me?
“What?” Jeremy laughed nervously, acting completely innocent of the charge.
“Whatever,” Chloe snapped. “You weren’t even trying to hide it. You want to be with her? Fine. I’m gone.” She got up and stormed out of the room. Jeremy watched her go, making no move to stop her.
“Go get her,” Zack ordered sounding irritated by the fight.
Still leaning against the wall, unmoved, Jeremy silently shook his head.
Moments later we heard the front door open, then slam shut as Chloe left the house. We could hear her cursing as she stormed away, but Jeremy didn’t move. Instead, he leaned his head back against the wall, looking resigned.
“Another one bites the dust,” Micah muttered.
“Jeremy, go get her,” Trista coaxed. “At least give her a ride home.”
“She drove.” He slid to the floor, then picked up his guitar. He strummed a soft melody, seeming more interested in that than the fact his girlfriend had just stormed out.
“So, that’s really it, huh Jeremy?” Eve said. “Just keep ‘em coming though, right?”
“Yeah, just keep ‘em coming,” Jeremy muttered.
“You have been staring at Jodi all night,” Eve admonished. She glanced up at Sawyer as she grabbed another bottle of beer. “What do you think of this little crush he has on your girlfriend?”
“I don’t mind,” Sawyer said, a smile toying around the corners of his mouth.
It was weird. But he really didn’t seem to mind. Of course, that was probably because he knew it was insane. Jeremy didn’t have a crush on me. What a joke.
“Oh, come on,” Eve coaxed. “It must bother you.” She raised her eyebrows, confidential-like. “You know, the best way to get him over this obsession with your girlfriend is to let him have her.” At Sawyer’s raised eyebrows, Eve laughed. “Oh come on, you all know it’s true. We’ve all seen him act this way before—lots of times.” Eve turned to me. “Don’t be alarmed! There’s a cure. Jeremy’s intense, overpowering desire for a girl—any girl—mysteriously disappears once he has her.”
“You should know,” Trista piped in, sending Eve a teasing grin.
“Oh, and you’re completely unscathed by his desperate-need-and-obsession-and-then-the-next-day-complete-indifference act, right Trista?”
“Hey, I dumped him.” Trista looked at Jeremy for confirmation, but he was busy with his guitar, seeming oblivious to the absurd conversation around him.
“Yeah, she dumped him.” Micah came to Trista’s rescue instead, putting his arms around her. “So she could start dating me.”
Eve rolled her eyes. “Yeah. Right.”
Everyone was silent for a moment, listening as Jeremy quietly played. I felt kind of uncomfortable. It seemed weird Jeremy didn’t stop Chloe from leaving. Obviously, that had been what she wanted—him to stop her.
It seemed the fight was completely Jeremy’s fault—totally. What girl wouldn’t be mad if her boyfriend stared at some other girl all night? Okay, so I was kind of thrilled. Extremely thrilled, actually, to learn he’d been looking at me. But it was twisted. I was twisted. It was all kinds of wrong. No wonder Jeremy never had a girlfriend for long if this was how he treated them. It was weird though, because he’d always treated me with the utmost respect. At least until I was sent away.
Jeremy glanced up from his guitar, noticing that everyone was looking at him.
“What?” he asked with a guilty grin.
His gaze fell on me. A small, wry smile flashed on his face and he raised his eyebrows. “You think I’m messed up, too?” He peered into my eyes, searching, no longer smiling. “It was you. You did this to me.”
My stomach dropped.
How could he even say that? I hadn’t even been around for the past three years. He made sure of that, coming to the house that Christmas and shoving his “little girlfriend” in my face. He’d messed me up, not the other way around.
I opened my mouth, wanting to confront him, demand he explain. But then I clamped it shut again, not able to utter a word. We were in front of all of his friends. Everyone’s eyes were glued on me. Except Jeremy’s. He went back to playing his guitar, refusing to meet my gaze.
I wasn’t up to confronting him. Especially not in front of his friends. Scenes weren’t my thing. Not even slightly.
Finally, Eve broke the silence. “Now we have an odd number of people,” she grumbled, ending any more thoughts of a confrontation. Or Chloe. “What can we play that doesn’t need partners?”
“You guys can play something with partners,” Micah said, rising to his feet. “Trista can be Jeremy’s partner. I have to get going—the folks worry.” He glanced at Sawyer. “You’re giving Trista a ride home, right?”
Sawyer nodded, and Micah headed out the door. It seemed kind of weird that Trista would want to stay behind while Micah had to leave, but what did I know? They’d been together a long time. It seemed to work for them. Whatever “it” was.
“Hey partner.” Jeremy brightened as Trista snuggled up beside him on the floor. “You won’t get mad at me because I have a crush on Sawyer’s girlfriend, will you?”
“Of course not. I totally understand,” she said affectionately, and then she kissed him. Not a full-on, open-mouthed, passionate thing, but not a little peck either.
Jeremy pushed her away, eyeing her sharply. “I think you’ve had too much to drink, Trista.”
She reddened, rubbing her lips with her fingertips. “Maybe.” She glanced up at me. “Don’t look so shocked, Jodi.” She giggled, but it was kind of strangled. “We’re a very close group.”
“Yeah, Jodi.” Jeremy gave me a lazy smile. “Welcome to the group.”
CHAPTER 11
The wall is dripping in blood. Dad’s using his heart like a sponge.
“Jodi Go Ho
spital.”
***
It was almost afternoon, but I was still trying to get to sleep. I woke last night from another grisly nightmare starring Dad. In the morning, I was still shaking, still freaked. I couldn’t get the nightmare out of my head. Or that Internet article either, what it said Dad did. Was it possible he was set up? I had to believe that it was, even knowing what I did—that he had come home all bloody that night. And he was acting crazy, sending me away, making me promise not to tell him where.
Is that what he did to protect me? He protected me from himself?
But if so, then he really killed that lady. And I knew he didn’t. The worry had me shaking, even as I curled up on the couch with a blanket over me, trying to forget my nightmares.
There was a knock at the front door, making me jump. When I was over the shock, I ran to the door, flung it open, and threw my arms around Sawyer, trying to get warm. He pulled me in close, having no idea what was going on. But he was there for me. He was always there for me.
So, I took a deep breath. “I have something to tell you.” Finally, I was going to come clean—get everything out in the open. He already knew I had the crazies. It was time to tell him about Dad.
I tugged him inside and up to my room. Sawyer listened with fascination, his eyes growing wider and wider. Then I showed him the article on the Internet—the one about Sophie. He read it a lot more thoroughly than I had. The story had made me too sick, made me puke. I was only able to skim it.
But Sawyer scrutinized it, honing in on Sophie’s younger sister—the one Dad was supposedly looking for. “Kiki Jones. What kind of name is that?” Sawyer looked at me intently. “Who is she?”
“I don’t know,” I shrugged. “Dad never mentioned her, ever. I don’t think he even knew her. I really don’t.” Dad didn’t date a lot, hardly ever, and this Sophie—the lady he supposedly murdered—was only twenty-six. The neighbor made it sound like Sophie’s younger sister, Kiki, was a lot younger. Dad wasn’t a creep; he didn’t date young girls. And he didn’t murder them either. He didn’t. He was a doctor, a surgeon, he saved people’s lives—he didn’t end them.
And he didn’t use an axe.
Hesitantly, I turned back to the computer. “I was thinking of going to this place.” I clicked on the Psychic Center. “I know it sounds crazy, and I don’t really, truly believe in this stuff. But … I was thinking I might go there—well, not there. But a place like that, one nearby.”
Sawyer quirked his eyebrows. His lips twitched. “Why?”
I reddened, feeling dumb. My ears were suddenly burning. “Look, I know it sounds crazy—and yeah, okay, I am crazy. But when I saw that advertisement, I just felt like it could help.”
Sawyer rubbed at his mouth, hiding a smirk. “How?”
I wished I hadn’t told him—not this part. The Psychic Center part. He made me feel like an idiot. And like the idea was stupid. And okay, maybe it was—probably. But it had felt right. I bit my lip. “I’m not sure. The site says they can link to loved ones killed violently, by their effects. I have Dad’s ring.” I showed him my necklace. “It’s his effect.”
He sat back, looking like he felt sorry for me. His eyes flitted from the rubber bands around my wrists, to dad’s ring, then finally to my eyes. He let out a breath. “And what do you want to accomplish?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not sure.” I bit my lip, then said aloud what I feared most. “Whatever happened to him—it seems to be happening to me.” My voice hitched. “I guess I want to know if he went crazy and killed that woman or if he was framed. And … I don’t know, maybe whoever framed him killed him too.”
“And then wrote ‘Jodi Go Hospital?’” Sawyer sat on my bed, talking soothingly, as though he didn’t want to talk condescending, but. “Jodi, save your money. Those places are rip-offs—they’ll scam you blind.” He took my hand, linking his fingers through mine. “What you should do is find out about this Kiki. Find out how or if she knew your dad.”
“She didn’t.” I knew that. Sophie’s neighbor had described the girl as a “trouble maker” and said she was dating a “scary creep.” That was so not Dad. He avoided people like that. Avoided people, period. Except me. He liked me.
“Maybe she worked with your dad?”
I shook my head doubtfully. The girl didn’t sound like a nurse—or old enough to be a nurse. But. “Maybe she was a patient … and trying to blackmail him—for malpractice or something.” I bit my lip, thinking. Someone at the hospital might know if Dad was having trouble with an unhappy patient. But I didn’t really know anyone that worked with Dad … except Darcy. And I didn’t really know her. She was one of Grey’s girlfriends.
Finally, I decided to send Grey an email, just to see if Darcy might know something, anything. I was going to do it later, alone, but Sawyer talked me into doing it now.
Hey Grey,
Do you know anything about the murdered lady’s younger sister—the one Dad was supposedly asking for? Do you think you could ask Darcy if Kiki Jones was his patient or something?
That was all I wrote. Because, really, that was all I had to say. Even if Sawyer wasn’t here, watching over my shoulder, I was pretty sure that was all I would say. ‘Cause what else was there?—By the way Grey, Dad wasn’t the only Logan lunatic running around loose, there’s now me too. I’m completely bonkers!
Call me crazy, but I’d just as soon not have him know. Not have anyone know. There was no way anyone could possibly understand. Only … well, I guess that wasn’t totally true. Sawyer knew everything now. And he seemed to understand.
I squeezed Sawyer’s hand, sitting closer beside him. “Thanks,” I whispered.
He tilted his head, gazing at me curiously, but smiling. “For what?”
“For being you.” That’s what I said aloud, but in my head, I added, “And not being Jeremy.”
Last night had been so disturbing, seeing Jeremy in action. Just thinking about it now made me want to cry. One minute he was toying with a girl, the next he was staring at me, saying he had a crush on me. Was everything a game to him? Everything? Was he really like Eve said? Like Mom said? Was I just another girl to him now? Another girl to toy with?
It hurt too much to think about. It killed. But really, what else was there to think about? What? Kenzie? Shadows? Axes?
I couldn’t even think about Dad anymore. I couldn’t. Whenever I tried, all I could dwell on was his “blood message” and the fact he might have murdered someone. It was all too crazy. And Dad wasn’t crazy. He wasn’t.… At least not until right before he died.
CHAPTER 12
“It’s going to be fine,” Sawyer said, glancing over at me as he drove us to school. “Maybe we’ll have classes together—we can pass notes and stuff.”
“Yeah,” I sat up a little. That would be fun. It was our first day of school. I sat slumped in the passenger seat, biting my nails the whole way to Roosevelt High. The thing was, I had more than nervous jitters. I was actually sick. Kenzie and shadows were now a normal part of my life. I didn’t want to be Freak Girl at school. I wanted to be normal. Blend in totally unobserved.
But really, it wasn’t just the scary stuff that had me shaking. There was still the Jeremy thing, too. I didn’t feel ready to see him every day—see him with other people. When I lived here before—back when we were together—Jeremy and I were inseparable. It was just him and me, always. What we had—it was special.
I wished Jeremy and Sawyer weren’t friends so I could just avoid Jeremy. Life would be so much easier if I just didn’t have to see him, face him. But now that Sawyer introduced me to his band, I knew how important they were to him. Like he said, they were his family.
“Oh, hey,” Sawyer said, changing the subject as we pulled into the school parking lot. “I can pick you up myself from now on—even when your mom’s around. You can just tell her you met me at school.”
I looked at him skeptically. “You said she hates you.”
“Yeah
. I said that. But she doesn’t.” He grinned. “She loves me. You can invite me in for milk and cookies if you want.” His blue eyes twinkled as he pulled into a parking spot. “Corrine will be glad to see you dating a fine, upstanding young man such as myself.”
Um, huh?
I tilted my head. “Then why’d we go through the hassle of having Parker pick me up all the time?”
He gave a small laugh, tucking his keys in his pocket. “Because if I picked you up she would’ve been suspicious that I was only doing it for Jeremy—so he could see you.” He glanced at me quickly, then darted his gaze away to focus on the crowd of students passing by, as though they were fascinating. But his feigned interest was just distraction. Because he went on talking in that way he does when he’s making a confession—all solemn and frowning. He tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel. “But more than that, I didn’t want you to know I knew Jeremy.”
Suddenly I felt kind of strange. It was just so weird. Creepy. The way he had gone to such elaborate measures—elaborate schemes—to hide such simple truths. It was unnerving. Still, I had to admit things worked out probably for the best. If I had known Sawyer was Jeremy’s friend from the beginning I probably wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with him—wanting to avoid Jeremy as much as possible. Also, Mom really would have thought Sawyer was only picking me up so Jeremy and I could see each other. Even I had to admit it was a strange coincidence that I met Jeremy’s best friend that day at the mall. I doubted Mom would have believed it, her being so suspicious of Jeremy and me. But meeting Sawyer at school—a whole month later—I didn’t see how even Mom could be skeptical about that.
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