by Tonya Clark
She nods but says nothing else. She just gives me that smile and I swear it is doing things to me.
“Let me order Jacob a pizza and then let him know we are leaving.”
Chapter 8
Jayden
I watched as Cameron walks away into the other room, the phone up to his ear ordering pizza for Jacob. This is a surprising twist of the day. If someone would have told me I would be going on a dinner date with Cameron Tovaren tonight, I would have laughed in their face.
My phone goes off in my bag. Pulling it out, I see Charliee’s name on the screen. Crap, I’m supposed to go over to her house tonight. She was released from the hospital last Friday. Her parents, brothers, and myself tried to convince her to stay at her parent’s house for a few weeks, but she wasn’t having any of it, she wanted to be home. I love the woman, but she is so determined to be independent and so against asking or accepting any help, she drives me crazy sometimes.
Charliee: Are you still coming over tonight?
Great, what am I supposed to do now? My best friend needs me, but I saw the look in Cameron’s eyes when he was telling me about Jacob’s distance right now, he needs someone to talk to.
Jayden: Is there anyone there with you right now?
Charliee: My mom will be here in about ten minutes. She is bringing dinner.
I feel a little better knowing she won’t be alone.
Jayden: Do you mind if I skip tonight?
I am feeling like the worst friend in the world right now. Charliee needs me, but she isn’t going to be alone. Cameron, right now, has no one.
Charliee: Is everything all right?
Her next text comes through. I hate that she worries about me, she has enough on her own plate right now.
Jayden: Yes, everything is fine. I just forgot about something I had to do.
I’m not used to all this side stepping with Charliee. We usually tell each other everything, but right now, there isn’t really a lot to tell.
Charliee: Okay, I’ll see you later, have a good evening
I will make this up to her tomorrow. She will understand, because I know my friend so well. I know if I were to tell her what is going on, she would tell me to go with Cameron. Charliee never thinks of herself, she always puts other people first.
“Is everything all right?”
Cameron’s voice comes from the stairs. I look up and smile.
“Yep, everything is fine. I just had to rearrange some plans.”
“If you already had plans for tonight, I understand, Jayden. We can do this some other time.”
Shaking my head, I reassure him. “No, everything is fine.”
“All right, if you’re sure then we can get going. I already told Jacob I was leaving and that the pizza would be here in about thirty minutes.”
****
“I’m not sure if I’ve said this yet but thank you for coming over and helping Jacob.”
I watch as Cameron plays with the bottle of beer he is holding.
“I’m a teacher, this is what we do.”
“House calls aren’t in the job description.”
“Cameron, my job description is to teach children. There is no certain location, it doesn’t say only in school or a classroom.”
“Why can’t you just let me say thank you?”
“You’re welcome. Are you and Jacob close?”
I watch as he finishes his beer.
“We were, yes. We texted every day when I moved down to Texas. He tried to convince my parents to let him move with me, of course my mom wasn’t having that. Things have been a lot different since losing Mom and Dad, though. He won’t look at me most of the time.”
The sadness in his eyes has me fighting my own tears. I don’t know how far I should go with questions into his and Jacob’s relationship. Or what questions won’t be crossing the line to ask since I really don’t know Cameron too well.
“I can’t imagine any of this is very easy for either one of you. Do you guys have any other family?”
He nods, but still keeps his eyes downcast. “We have our grandparents on my mom’s side. Some aunts and uncles, a couple cousins.”
“Do they live close?”
Again, he nods. “We have an aunt and uncle here in Washington, but mostly everyone else is spread out over the states. My grandparents tried getting me to send Jacob to them down in California, but I’m not uprooting my brother. His school and friends are here. Plus, neither one of them really sign a whole lot.”
“That would make things for Jacob and them very difficult. Jacob can read lips well, but his speech isn’t the greatest.”
“I wouldn’t send him off to family anyway. Don’t get me wrong, there have been quite a few times in the last few weeks I wonder if he would be better with someone else since I’m obviously doing something wrong. But, I couldn’t let him go to family. He is the only family I have left. We only have each other.”
Seeing Cameron like this is a little shocking. The guy hasn’t shown an ounce of emotion since knowing him. Now, here he sits looking like a lost little boy. I want to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything will be alright.
“Today, seeing him laugh with you was great. He hasn’t cracked a smile since everything happened. On the other side of it, I feel like I must be doing something wrong.”
“Cameron, you aren’t doing anything wrong.”
He only looks at his empty beer bottle, a look of defeat in his eyes.
“Have you tried sitting down and talking to him about all of this?”
I jump when he slams his beer bottle down on the table, his hands flying up in the air.
“Of course.”
“Sorry.”
“For what?”
“For upsetting you, that wasn’t what I was trying to do,” I defend myself.
“You didn’t upset me, Jayden, I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated right now. I don’t know what to do anymore.”
Is he asking me for advice or is he just needing someone to talk to, I wonder to myself. We sit in silence for a few moments. He still looks everywhere other than at me. Finally, Cameron breaks the silence.
“So, how did you decide to become a teacher in a deaf school? Is someone deaf in your family?”
A change of topic, that is fine with me.
“Actually, I met my best friend, Charliee, in college and she is deaf. When I saw her signing in class one day with her interpreter, I was fascinated. It was beautiful to watch. We became friends and I asked her to teach me sign language. I picked it up pretty quickly. I’ve wanted to be a teacher since my sophomore year of high school. My teacher for math of all things helped me with that decision. Charliee and I graduated, and the deaf school was hiring, somehow we both got jobs, it was meant to be.”
“That’s quite a story. So, you and Charliee are pretty close?”
I nod. A minute ago, I was thankful for the change of subject, now I’m thinking not so thankful. I’m pretty sure he has heard about a teacher from the school being involved within the bombing. He just probably doesn’t recognize her by the name.
“Does she teach math as well?”
I shake my head no. I know he is going to figure this out in a minute. I’m not hiding it, but his mood was beginning to improve. I know the moment this topic goes back around to that night; his mood will disappear again.
“She teaches English.”
I wait and watch as the realization hits him. I know the moment he figures it out, you can see it written all over his face and body.
“There was an English teacher from the school that was there the night of the bombing.”
“Yes, there was. She actually just got released from the hospital a few days ago.”
He doesn’t ask, he doesn’t need to. I see the question on his face and I’m pretty positive he reads the answer on mine.
“How is she?” He finally breaks the silence.
His tone is sharp, almost resentful. That causes very mixed emotions in me. One side of me wants to ask why he asked if he doesn’t seem to really care about the answer. The other side doesn’t blame him, when he lost both parents that night.
“She’s healing slowly but doing well. She has major burns across her lower half of her back, stitches along one whole shoulder, and a broken arm. Some bruised ribs, but all in all she is good. She is strong, she’s a fighter and hates having people take care of her, so I believe she will be back on her feet and back to school teaching in no time.”
Cameron looks lost in thought.
“Cameron, maybe it would help if you talked about what’s on your mind.”
“There isn’t enough hours in a day to tell you everything on my mind these days.”
I can only imagine. His life was turned upside down.
“I have nowhere to be if you need to get some stuff out.”
Nothing, again he just sits there staring at an empty bottle.
“Maybe talking to someone who understands a little from that night will help.”
Cameron’s eyes shoot up to mine, then they narrow on me. “Are you trying to tell me you understand what I’m going through, Ms. Edwards?”
Oh good, we are back to last names, that only means one thing and it’s not nice. Cameron is pissed.
“We didn’t lose Charliee but yes, I can honestly say I can imagine some of what you are feeling…”
I am cut off when Cameron shoots up from his chair, looking down at me.
“You didn’t lose both of your parents. Your friend is alive and home. Don’t even attempt to tell me you have even the smallest idea of what we are going through.”
His voice booms through the restaurant. I’m pretty sure we’ve caught the attention of everyone here. I try to understand his anger. Make an excuse for him yelling at me in front of everyone here, but no matter what I try to think about, I can’t come up with enough of an excuse for him to make this big of a scene. He is right, I don’t understand the loss the way he does. I do, however, understand the way the whole thing changed our lives.
I stand up and look right up at him. I’ll be damned if I let people who are watching think he can yell at me and I’ll just sit here and take it. We just stand, toe-to-toe, glaring at each other. Finally, I can’t take it anymore.
“You know what, Mr. Tovaren? A lot of people’s lives changed that day. Some more extreme than others. Some definitely lost more than others, but all of our lives changed if we had loved ones involved. I just wanted you to know if you needed someone who had some effect from the crazed man’s action then I was here to listen.”
I’m not going to stand here and have him embarrass me in front of everyone any longer. Walking past him, he stops me before I get too far.
“Where are you going?”
Really, he has to ask that question? Does he really think I would stay and be yelled at?
“Let go of my arm please, Mr. Tovaren.”
“Ms. Edwards, you drove here with me.”
Does he honestly think that is going to stop me from leaving? I would rather walk all the way home than be with him another minute.
“And I will be leaving on my own. Let me say this, though. If you get this mad with Jacob when he tries to talk to you, it’s no wonder he is ignoring you.”
Hurt fills his eyes and he quickly let’s go of my arm. I feel bad for my words that I just threw at him. I know I’m hitting him where it hurts, but I can’t take them back now. When he looks away from me, I take that as my chance to walk away. Once outside, I pull my phone out and call Bryce. I’m not sure if this is a great idea since Bryce and his twin brother are cops. These two are Charliee’s brothers, which means I am like their little sister as well.
“Jayden, is Charliee all right?”
No hello first? I don’t blame him. Both of the boys were there when they found Charliee and Levi, her hearing dog, buried under the building.
“Charliee is fine.”
“Oh! Sorry, she told us you were going over tonight. We still kind of freak.”
“Don’t apologize, I understand. I’m actually not with Charliee right now. I had to change the plans, your mom is with her.”
“What’s up then?”
“Are you working right now?”
“We just pulled into the station and are heading home shortly.”
“Would you mind taking a detour and picking me up and taking me home?”
“Not at all, are you alright? Where are you?”
I can hear the worry in his voice. I am getting ready to explain that I am alright, just out with a hot-headed jackass, but I hear Cameron coming up behind me calling out my name.
“Hold on, Bryce.”
I place my phone on mute and then turn around. There is Cameron stalking toward me.
“How are you getting home?”
I hold my phone up. “I’m calling a friend to come and get me.”
“I’ll take you back to my place to get your car, Jayden.”
We are back to first names. “I don’t need you to take me anywhere. Plus, you might not like something I say and push me out of the truck.”
I swear I see a small smile.
“I wouldn’t push you out of a moving car, Jayden.”
I arch my brow at him.
“I would at least stop the car first.”
I try not to smile, but I can’t help it.
“Look, I’m sorry. I overreacted in there. If you would prefer someone to come pick you up and take you home, I understand.”
After thinking about it for a moment, I take my phone off mute.
“Never mind, Bryce, I found a ride.”
“Are you sure? I don’t mind coming and picking you up.”
My eyes never leave Cameron’s. “I appreciate it, but I’m sure. The guy I’m with just apologized for being an ass, I’ve decided to give him another shot.”
Cameron’s eyes slant at me, but he is smiling.
“Jayden, if he is an ass, that won’t change. I’ll come pick you up.”
I hear the concern in Bryce’s voice, one of the reasons I love the boys. They would arrest anyone I asked them to without giving them a reason as to why.
“It was more of a misunderstanding.”
“Alright but call me if things change. I’ll come and get you and arrest him.”
Like I said, they would arrest without question. Bryce confirming that makes me smile.
“Keep your phone close. I may take you up on that offer.”
“Call or text when you get home, please.”
“I will and thank you, Bryce. Bye.”
Bryce says goodbye and then hangs up.
“Take him up on his offer?” Cameron’s eyebrow shoots up in question.
Is Cameron jealous? I think about giving him something to think about, but tonight has already been a whirlwind of emotions, so it is better not to.
“Charliee has twin brothers who are cops. That was one of them, Bryce. He offered to come and pick me up and then arrest you.”
I can’t read his expression, but I am pretty sure he is trying to figure out if I am joking or not.
“Protective brothers?” Cameron asks.
“You have no idea.”
“I’m starting to get the idea.” He takes a step closer.
I have to look up to look at him. I can feel the heat from his body, he is standing that close to me. My body craves to move closer to eliminate the remaining space between us.
“I will have to remember from now on that you have a lot of power in your hands.”
I like this version of Cameron. It is fun and sexy. Although the other version is still in my mind. I know he is going through a lot right now, he has a very full plate, but there is no excuse for his little scene he created earlier. That is the one thing keeping me from reaching out to him right now.
“Don’t you forget it
!” I tease back.
He closes the space between us, his arm going around my waist and pulling me into his body. I feel electricity shoot through all of my veins and straight to my core, but earlier is still nagging at me. Why can’t I look at him like I usually look at a guy? Maybe a couple of fun dates and then move on, no strings attached. I don’t know how to handle this other feeling. It is almost a need, a pull toward him. My mind is saying run from him and fast; my body is saying to tackle him and not let go.
He is going to kiss me again, I can read it all over his face. “Cameron, please don’t.”
He searches my eyes for a moment before he responds. “You want me to though. You want it as much as I do.”
He has no idea how badly I want to kiss him right now. I still feel his lips on mine from the first time he kissed me, which is making asking him to back away all that much harder.
“I’m not going to stand here and lie to you, Cameron. Yes, there is a very large part of me screaming at myself to kiss you, but I’m going with the small part that is still pissed about the little scene you caused inside.”
“So, are you saying no to just kissing you tonight, or no to anything in the future?”
He is giving me that knowing, sexy smile he has. It is the same one he gave me that first day in the office when we met.
“It’s a no, Cameron,” I repeat, trying to sound convincing.
I need to step away. It is getting harder to ignore my need to kiss him with his body pressed against mine and that sexy smile looking down at me. My hands are on his chest and I find them gripping the front of his shirt tightly.
“Are you sure?” he asks, as he looks down at my hands.
Absolutely not! That small part in my brain of reasoning is fading and almost gone. I release his shirt and push myself away from him. His arms fall to his sides and it takes everything I have not to throw myself back into his chest and take his lips myself.
Cameron watches me for a moment, like he is waiting for me to change my mind. The heat and need in his eyes has me mentally slapping myself for not giving in.