Silent Forgiveness (Sign of Love Series Book 4)

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Silent Forgiveness (Sign of Love Series Book 4) Page 7

by Tonya Clark


  Both guys just stand there staring at each other, and here I stand right in the middle. A place I’m not comfortable in for more reasons than one.

  “Is this the reason you were so happy that I wanted to go to Tyler’s tonight, so you could do this?” Jacob signs to his brother and then points between Cameron and myself.

  “I’m going to go, I’m sorry,” I sign to Jacob, but speak as well so that Cameron can hear behind me.

  Cameron comes down the couple of stairs and stops me before I can move. “You aren’t leaving until my brother apologizes.”

  Cameron’s eyes never leave his brother’s as he speaks to me.

  “Cameron, it’s alright, really. I’m just going to leave,” I try again.

  I am surprised to see the anger forming in Jacob’s eyes. I may only know him from school, but I would have never thought I’d see that kind of reaction and anger out of him. He is always smiling and happy. The more I stand between the two men and watch them stare each other down, the more I am beginning to think Jacob’s anger isn’t because I am here with Cameron, but something between the two of them. I am just his excuse.

  Cameron comes around so that he is facing me, his back to Jacob. “You don’t need to leave, Jayden.”

  I look over his shoulder at Jacob, he is shooting daggers into his brother’s back. This is definitely between them and they need to work it out. Cameron doesn’t need an excuse to keep distance between them. We don’t need to let this happen again, he needs to fix his relationship with his brother.

  “This should never have happened, Cameron. Jacob’s right in a way. I was here to do a job, not you.”

  Cameron flinches a little, almost like I slapped him. Shock shoots across his face, but only briefly and he recovers quickly. Now some of that anger is pointing at me. I can tell he is trying to read me. Good luck with that, Mr. Tovaren.

  I expect him to try and stop me when I begin to push past him to leave, but he doesn’t. I grab my bag from the floor by the stairs and quickly walk past Jacob. Stopping at the door, I want to turn and apologize. Tell Cameron it is everything opposite of a mistake, but then I think against it. I need to walk away from this now before this becomes more to both of us. Opening the door, I almost run to my car. Slamming the car door, I take a deep breath, my head going back to rest on the headrest. I know Cameron may never speak to me again. Isn’t that what I want? My eyes burn a little. No, that isn’t what I want. What the hell has Cameron done to me? I don’t cry, especially over a guy!

  I need Charliee, but it is midnight. Normally, that wouldn’t stop me but she is still healing and needs her rest. She probably wouldn’t be a whole lot of help right now anyway. She keeps warning me that one day I am going to find a guy who is going to knock all my codes and rules for dating out the door. She would take much pride in telling me, “I told you so.”

  I need to go somewhere but I don’t know where. I don’t want to go home, it suddenly seems lonely. I run my hands over my face, looking around. I can’t sit here in my car, in front of the Tovaren house. Dammit, why didn’t I just stay away? I scold myself as I start my car. I have no idea where I am going but I’m not staying here!

  ****

  It’s been a crazy week. It started with Monday night with Cameron, to finding out Charliee was dating one of the hot firemen that found her that night of the bombing. I am happy for her, Travis seems like a good guy and he is very nice to look at too. Charliee doesn’t date much, I think she gets tired of guys treating her weird because she’s deaf. She can’t make it any easier for them, she talks and is usually pretty easy to understand. To top it off, she reads lips like a champ, all you have to do is remember to look at her when you are talking. She has a great sense of humor when it comes to someone forgetting she’s deaf, which is easily done since she talks so well. She caught me so many times when we first met.

  Then Wednesday afternoon, Charliee stopped by the school and had lunch with me. She’s been going crazy not being able to work. She told me about her date with Travis. I found myself becoming a little jealous. She was glowing and smiling from one ear to the other while she was telling me. Then she told me I needed a boyfriend. I almost told her about Cameron, but what exactly was I supposed to tell her? “Hey, I met Cameron Tovaren while I’ve been tutoring Jacob. One day he was not home so I ended up in Cameron’s bed. We haven’t spoken since.” I could imagine the look she would give me.

  I’m pretty sure she knows I’m holding something back from her. She gave me the questioning look when it all came up.

  Cameron had text me this morning and told me there was no reason to come by for Jacob’s tutoring, he wasn’t going to be home. Nothing else was said. I thought about texting him back but what would I say? I know he was mad about the comment I made about us sleeping together not being a good idea, but honestly, I just wanted out of that house and out from in between him and Jacob. I didn’t tell him that the sex was amazing and waking up with him lying next to me was even better.

  My phone ringing brings me out of my daze. Looking at the screen, my pulse quickens a little. Why is Charliee’s brother, Derrick, calling me? Is something wrong with Charliee?

  “Hello,” I answer, my heart in my throat.

  “Jayden, is Charliee with you?”

  “No, I’m still at work, why? What’s wrong?”

  “There has been another explosion. This one was at the movie theater, no one can get a hold of her.”

  Normally I would put money on the fact that Charliee wouldn’t be at the theater alone, but then again, she has been pretty bored and going stir crazy lately so I wouldn’t be surprised if she was. Plus, Travis could be off today and they could have gone. My veins go cold.

  “I haven’t seen or heard from her all day, but I’ll text her and see if she responds to me.”

  “Alright, please call me if you hear from her,” Derrick’s worried voice pleads with me.

  “I will and please let me know if you find anything as well.”

  We both hang up and I immediately text Charliee.

  Jayden: Where are you?

  I wait what seems like forever for her to respond. I swear with each click of the clock in my classroom my heart beats faster. I am getting ready to text her again when I receive one from her.

  Charliee: Give a person a chance to text back!! What is wrong with all of you??

  I take a deep breath. She is alright. She sounds a little pissed, but she is safe.

  I know she’s feeling a little smothered right now. She has all of us surrounding her making sure she is safe, but she has no choice. She scared the hell out of us, we are keeping her close and she is going to have to get used to it.

  I wait a little bit, I’m sure either her parents or her brothers are filling her in on what happened. After about ten minutes, I text her.

  Jayden: Do you need me to come over tonight? I can stay with you.

  She responds pretty fast.

  Charliee: You have to work in the morning, I’m good. Actually, I’d prefer a little alone time right now. I’ll be alright. Love you.

  Charliee usually doesn’t like to be alone. She has always liked having people around her. She doesn’t go to restaurants alone, or the movies, or even shopping. Lately, though, I’m sure with all of us hovering over her, she may need some time alone. I don’t want to leave her alone tonight, but I need to let her deal with this her own way.

  Jayden: If you need me for any reason please text me, no matter what time it is. Love you too.

  Again, she responds quickly.

  Charliee: I will, I promise.

  My thoughts then go to Cameron and Jacob. This news isn’t going to be easy on them either. This lunatic is still loose and still trying to kill people. I want to call Cameron, but I am pretty sure I am the last person he wants to talk to right now.

  My plan is to go home and soak in my hot tub. A glass of wine sounds amazing, but I don’t want to drink anything th
at would keep me from driving to Charliee’s if she needs me tonight. I’m not sure who is more surprised, myself when I find that I’m parked in Cameron’s driveway, or Cameron when he opens the front door and finds me standing there.

  “Hi.” He doesn’t invite me in, he just stands there in the doorway staring at me.

  I don’t like these feelings he is creating in me. He has me all twisted up and I’m not sure if I like it.

  “I just heard about the bombing at the movie theater and wanted to come by and see how you guys were.”

  I sound pathetic to myself as I speak. Why would I need to come and check on a grown man? Cameron’s eyebrow arches a little, I think I surprised him.

  “I was just watching about it on T.V. Jacob isn’t here, he’s at Tyler’s house.”

  I watch as Cameron’s muscles flex under his t-shirt when he brings his arm up to the door frame above his head. His shirt tightens across his chest. My hands itch to reach out and touch him and my body heats up with want. I need to leave before I do something to embarrass myself.

  “Well, I’ll see you later. I’m sorry if I interrupted anything.”

  I turn to leave, but only make it a couple steps before I decide I need to apologize for the other night. Turning, I find myself plastered against Cameron’s chest. I hadn’t even heard him move, and here he is standing right behind me. He isn’t touching me, but I can feel the heat from his body. My hand comes up and rests on his chest. I can’t stop them any longer, not being this close to him. I don’t look up at him, though. I’m not sure if I want to see what his eyes may be saying.

  “I’m sorry, Cameron,” I speak into his chest.

  He doesn’t say anything back and he isn’t touching me back. I am waiting for him to remove my hand and tell me to leave.

  “What are you doing to me, Jayden?”

  That brings my eyes up to his in surprise. Before I can say anything, his lips claim mine. His arms circle around my waist and pull my body up tight against his. I trail my hands up over his shoulders and to the back of his neck, one hand going into his hair. I hold onto him like he is my lifesaver and he is keeping me from drowning.

  Our lips separate and we just stand there, forehead to forehead. “Cameron, I’m sorry for what happened the other day.”

  He stands to his full height, pushing away from me a little. “Sorry for what part of the other day, Jayden?”

  My mind can’t think straight with our bodies touching. I take a step away from him, a chill running through my body with the heat of his missing. “I’m sorry for what I said the other day before I left. About us sleeping together being a mistake.”

  He takes a step toward me, but I take another one back. We need to have this conversation and I can’t do that with him in touching distance, or I won’t get anything out that I need to say.

  “Wait, please,” I hold my hand out in front of me to stop him from stepping closer to me once again. “I need to say this, Cameron.”

  He only nods and takes a step back, putting more space between us. Now that I have the space and all of his attention, I don’t know what exactly it is that I want to say.

  “Jayden, why don’t we go inside and talk.”

  I’m not sure if being inside is a good idea. At least out here I will be able to control myself a little where he is concerned. Who the hell am I trying to kid? I lose all control with this man and forget where I am, inside or out won’t make a difference I’m sure.

  Nodding, I follow him inside, enjoying the view of his backside. Stop! I yell at myself.

  “Would you like something to drink?”

  A beer, glass of wine, even a shot would be great, I think to myself. “No, thank you.”

  He points over toward the couch. “Have a seat.”

  I sit and silently hope he will sit in the chair but no, he sits right next to me on the couch.

  “So, what do you want to talk about?”

  How in the blue blazes am I supposed to think, let alone talk with him sitting so close to me? All I want to do is grab him and have a repeat of the other night.

  I clear my throat and look down at my hands. “I just wanted to apologize for the way things ended the other night.”

  “That’s what you said outside.”

  I take another deep breath, he isn’t going to make this easy, is he?

  “I should never have said what I did. I was embarrassed that Jacob caught me leaving. I don’t blame him for being mad that night. I’m his teacher.”

  “Jayden, that is no excuse for the things he said to you. I understand he has anger in him right now, but that doesn’t excuse him for being rude.”

  “Cameron, really, I understand…”

  “No, I think part of the problem right now is that I’m creating excuses for his moods and attitude, but I think that may be the problem. I need to stop babying him. What he said was completely wrong.”

  “Cameron, have you tried to talk to Jacob?” I finally look up at Cameron and my heart breaks.

  His eyes are downcast, he is rubbing his thighs, and he looks worried.

  “One day I can’t get him to leave the house or talk to any friends, the next I can’t get him to stay home.”

  That brings another thing to mind that we need to talk about. Jacob missing all of his tutoring. Cameron is finally talking to me and I don’t want to ruin that, but like he just said about Jacob, I can’t keep backing down because I am afraid of how Cameron will react to the conversation. He needs to step up as well.

  “That’s another thing we need to talk about, Cameron. Jacob hasn’t been home for tutoring for a week, this can’t keep happening or he is going to fall behind again. You might want to think about putting him back into school.”

  I watch as Cameron takes a deep breath, leaning back against the back of the couch and running his hands through his hair. “There needs to be a manual on how to raise your teenage brother.”

  He is getting mad, it is written all over his face. “Raising kids in general doesn’t look easy. I can’t imagine taking over a teenage sibling after losing both my parents, Cameron. It’s not going to be easy, but you can’t give up on him either.”

  He sits back up, his elbows on his knees, his face in his hands. I place my hand on his knee. “Cameron, there are plenty of people willing to help if you just ask.”

  Still nothing but silence, he has shut down on me. “All right, well I’ll be going. I’ll be back on Monday for tutoring, please make sure Jacob is here. If you need to talk, Cameron, you know how to reach me.”

  I wait a second longer, hoping he will say something but no, he just sits there. I stand up, but Cameron moves quickly. Before I know it, I am sitting on his lap, his arms tightly wrapped around me, his lips devouring mine. There is a plea behind the kiss. He is holding onto me like I will disappear if he lets go. It is creating all kinds of feelings through me. The feeling of being needed is pulling the strongest.

  “Can I have you, Jayden, please?” he asks against my lips.

  There is no way I can or want to tell him no. He needs me, and if I am going to be honest with myself, I need him too.

  “Not down here, Cameron. I don’t want to risk Jacob and his friends walking in.”

  He doesn’t even hesitate, he quickly stands up with me in his arms and I swear he runs up the stairs. He sits me down as he closes the door to his bedroom and I am pulling his shirt up over his head, trailing my hands down his shoulders and then over his chest, his stomach and then down to the button of his jeans. I unbutton them all the way down then bring my hands around, sinking them into the back of them, pushing his jeans and boxer briefs down over his waist, grabbing his very nice backside. My hands have itched to grab this man’s cheeks since following him toward the house earlier.

  His physical strength is obvious everywhere I touch. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to just stand in front of a man and run my hands over his entire body, feeling the definition
of his muscles.

  “Jayden, I need to be inside of you.”

  His voice is husky in my ear. It sends chills down my very heated body. I step back and quickly remove my clothes, standing in front of him naked, open for him to take me anyway he wants.

  He finishes removing his boots and pants. He closes the space between us, then pushes me back against the bedroom door. His lips travel all over my neck, then finally back to my lips. Every time he kisses me, I feel lightheaded. It feels like a quick shot of the best liquor going straight to my core, heating it up. Feeling his hardness between us just ignites that flame working at my core. Holding onto his shoulders, I begin climbing up his body. I feel like I can’t get close enough to him.

  One of his hands goes under my backside lifting me up, the other one guides himself as he enters me. The feeling of his full-length gliding into me is intoxicating. His other hand comes around to my backside and he lifts me up, pulling himself slowly out as I push my hips down, thrusting him fully and deeply back in.

  Our pace begins to speed up, my head falls back against the door, which thrusts my hips forward and him deeper. His lips explore my breast. I am close, so very close, and then he stops.

  “Jayden, I forgot protection.”

  My heart squeezes a little over the concern in his eyes. That is the moment it happens. Here I am pushed up against Cameron’s bedroom door, my legs wrapped around his waist, him deep inside of me. I am doing something I swore I would never do—I am falling for a guy!

  “I’m on the pill, Cameron. I’m clean, I’ve never had unprotected sex.”

  “I promise you, I’m clean.”

  My hands go from his shoulders to the back of his head, burying my fingers into his hair, bringing his lips back down to mine.

  Chapter 11

  Cameron

  “Cameron, it looks like we will be ready for final inspection on this track in about two weeks.”

 

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