Immediately Joey bolted up and raced toward her as fast as his short legs could carry him. “I ready,” he said and started shedding clothes as he moved past her and down the hall.
“Wow, and I mean wow!” Rae Anne watched her son strip down and head into the bathroom. “You knew the magic words.”
“I try, ma’am,” Dalton drawled as he tipped his hat and his lips hitched into a lopsided grin that cut straight to her heart.
Rae Anne smiled at him, then sobered. “Please don’t run off. Let me bathe him and put him in bed.”
“I’ll be here,” he said after a hesitation. “I’ll just go turn my lights out.”
Rae Anne decided as she went into the bathroom to put Joey into the tub that those three words were about the most powerful words there were…other than I love you. I’ll be here. And she knew he would be…and that made her happy.
Thirty minutes later she found him standing beside the window staring into the darkness. Her heart raced and her knees felt weak but she knew what she wanted as she walked to him. She had to stop herself from walking straight up to him, threading her fingers through his hair and kissing him with all of her heart.
It seemed where Dalton was concerned her heart followed.
“I can’t tell you how much you being here for my family, for me, has meant to me,” she said the words softly, and could barely hear them over the pounding of her blood rushing in her veins. She took a step closer and he watched her, his gaze locked on hers. “Today was one of the best days of my, of our lives.” She took another step closer and there was a mere foot between them. She longed to touch him so badly. To caress his cheek, his jaw, feel his strong arms around her. “I—” she started and wished he’d say something. “I’ve never had that. Never had a man stick around and be there for me like you’ve done. But then I’ve never known a man…” she placed her palm over his heart and found it beating as fast as her own. “…a man with as big a heart as yours.”
His hand came up and covered hers. “Rae…”
She wasn’t sure how it happened but suddenly she found herself in his arms. He groaned, low, almost undetectable but she was so clued in on him that she caught it as he lowered his lips to hers.
With no hesitancy he tugged her close and made her breathless with the power of his kiss. Emotions and feelings she’d never felt before overpowered her as he deepened the kiss she clung to him.
She caught herself wanting to tell him she loved him. Found herself lost in the feel and the emotion of the kiss, the way she felt cherished, safe, loved…but as her arms tightened around him she had to remind herself that they’d only known each other for less than a month. And he’d made no overtures to her about his feelings.
Her knees went weak as he practically lifted her feet from the ground he hugged her so close and kissed her so powerfully. It was definitely like nothing she’d ever, ever felt before.
And never would feel in any man’s arms but his.
In his arms she belonged…she’d made mistakes in her life but this was no mistake.
But, the voice in her head whispered, she had to tell him again, remind him that she didn’t need to get involved…But she wanted to.
Her heart had changed since she’d last told him she didn’t plan to have any more relationships. That was still true-but she now understood that it was a lifelong relationship with him that she wanted. He was good for her babies–if he hadn’t been then none of this mattered but he was and that was the beauty of it.
And she never, ever wanted to give up what she felt here in his arms…
Chapter Fifteen
Dalton had fought his feelings but he was falling in love with Rae Anne and he wanted her. Holding her, kissing her, spending time with her gave him peace and passion, both things he’d thought he’d never have.
Her holding on to him, welcoming his kiss made him want to hang on to her for forever.
He deepened his kiss…but suddenly flashes of the wreck ambushed him, filled his mind followed instantly by the guilt. He tore his mouth from Rae Anne but instead of turning away he found himself saying, “I need to tell you something.”
And he knew it was right, it was time. He had to be open with her.
He forced himself to pull away and look fully at her. “I can’t deny it any longer, I have feelings for you, Rae Anne.”
“And I have feelings for you too,” she said, gently.
His heart ached with the possibilities in those words. “I was involved in a wreck three years ago that I walked away from but in which a mother and son lost their lives.”
Rae Anne gasped. “Oh, Dalton, how horrible. What happened?”
He saw the compassion in her eyes and the horror too. “It was a stormy night much like the one that you went off the road in. The rain was coming down and the lightening was fierce. The mother was coming in the oncoming lane and as we would have passed beside each other she lost control. It was a split second in time…their vehicle came across the center line and plowed into the side of my truck then bounced off and careened off road and hit a tree. They were both killed on impact.” His hands were shaking as he saw it happening all over again. “I watched it happen and there had been nothing I could do to stop it.”
Tears glistened in Rae Anne’s eyes. “That’s horrible.”
He nodded, unable to say anything as memories brought on the panic attacks. He’d learned to handle them, to breathe steady and to not be overwhelmed as his heart rate went frantic and the room tried to cave in around him.
“But it wasn’t your fault.” She reached for his hand and gripped it tightly, as if she knew how hard this was for him.
He forced words out. “Not technically, but in my mind I replay it over and over trying to figure out if there was anything I could have done to avoid the collision. What if I’d yanked my wheels…” He inhaled and wrapped his free hand over hers that were clinging tightly to his.
“That must be hard on you. I can’t imagine. I’m so sorry.”
“I didn’t tell you this for your sympathy. I’ve never told anyone about the accident. I can’t bring myself to talk about it. But, you need to know, deserve to know because I’ve been drawn to you from the moment I first saw you in a deeper way than anything I’ve ever felt. And now I’m having to face my emotions in a way I had thought I could handle.”
Her eyes softened at his words and he longed to touch her cheek but he didn’t.
“I believe your feelings for me are as strong as mine are for you…I know what I just felt wasn’t one sided.”
“You’re right.” Her eyes misted and he had to harden his heart to the tenderness he saw there.
“The truth is, Rae Anne, I’m not sure I can ever feel right having a family of my own.”
Her head tilted. “I don’t understand. Why do you feel that way?”
“I just keep reliving the accident and there is a good man who lost his family that night. And it haunts me.”
She let go of his hand and placed her palm against his cheek. “You are a good man, Dalton Borne, and I…it’s too late to try and warn me. I’ve already fallen in love with you. And now I love you even more.” He shook his head, ecstatic and torn at the same instant. She shook her head. “You can’t stop what I feel any more than I can stop what I feel. And believe me I tried not to care for you. I’ve made some terrible mistakes in my life and I don’t feel like I deserve a man as good as you. But I can’t help loving you. And now, knowing your heart and how deeply you feel things…there is no way I would want not to love you.”
Dalton couldn’t move. He could only take in the look in her eyes, the hope he saw there and the love. Now what? He wanted to pull her back into his arms and tell her he loved her too. But he didn’t. He looked toward the door. “I need to go.”
“Dalton?”
He cupped her face with his palms and gently kissed her lips. “I’m sorry. I need to think. I…I’ll talk to you later.”
And then he left. And he�
�d never felt more like a heel in his life.
The woman he loved had told him she loved him in the most tender way and he hadn’t been able to say the words back to her.
Rae Anne didn’t know exactly how to take Dalton’s leaving the night after he’d told her about the accident. Her heart ached for everyone involved but from what he’d told her there had been nothing he could have done to prevent that wreck. And yet he was suffering from what she would classify as survivor's guilt and grief. Still, he couldn’t go on denying himself happiness because of the tragedy. And for him to walk out on her after she’d told him she loved him…it scared her. Scared her more than admitting to herself that she’d fallen in love with him. She had her own baggage and her own fears and yet she was facing them and praying that there was a future for her and Dalton. He had to face the truth that no amount of depriving himself of happiness would bring back that poor mother and child.
Dalton had left that night looking like he’d just seen the ghost of Christmas past or something. He’d been pale and his hands had been shaking as he’d grabbed for the doorknob. It had been several days–okay it had been three days, twelve hours and thirty minutes since he’d walked out the door and she hadn’t seen him since. Today, while the kids were napping she was working in her small tomato patch–because she needed to work off some frustrations she was feeling. And she was extremely frustrated.
Later she was supposed to take the kids to an event at the church that Amber had told her about during dinner the other day. The ladies in town were having an outdoor play day for all the kids in the area and especially for the kids from the shelter. Rae Anne was having trouble being motivated to do anything because she was worried about Dalton and she wasn’t sure if she was going to go.
Her mood perked up when she saw several cowboys working cattle across the pasture. She paused her hoeing and stared hopefully at the group in the distance. But Dalton wasn’t among them.
As she studied them one of the cowboys separated himself from the group and loped his black horse toward her. He sat straight in the saddle and moved easily with the horse. He was handsome with penetrating eyes that drilled into her as he slowed the horse to a walk. He moved close to the fence and gave her an easy smile.
“Morning, I’m Treb Carson, I helped Dalton fix your car the other week. How are you doing?”
“Hello. And thank you for helping. He told me someone had helped. We’re doing good and just so thankful to be here.”
“Glad to hear it. I wanted to let you know we’re working the cattle on the land the ranch leases on this property. We’ll try not to disturb you too much.”
“That’s fine. Do whatever you need to do,” she said, feeling more bewilderment hitting her about Dalton’s not coming around.
“I should have come over earlier and let you know what we were going to be doing. Is there anything you need?”
She stared up at him. Need?
She needed Dalton.
That was the immediate thing that came to mind. She missed him.
And she wanted him to be here. Joey asked about him every day and she didn’t blame him. Dalton had become important to their lives in the short few weeks that they’d known him. Maybe she shouldn’t have admitted that she loved him. But for him to suddenly just go silent and disappear…well it hurt. And she didn’t like that feeling. She’d never wanted another man to have the power to hurt her.
“No, there’s nothing. But thank you for asking.”
He tipped his hat and looking up into those amazing eyes of his that sparkled like sapphires in the glaring sunlight she knew many a woman whose heart would be going crazy with erratic thumping over such a man. Not her, she felt nothing but an irrational irritation that he wasn’t Dalton. And that wasn’t Treb’s fault.
“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, looking at her in concern and making her realized her emotions must be written on her face.
“Sorry, I’m fine. Just distracted today. Thanks.”
Accepting her explanation Treb turned his horse and was about to ride back to the herd when she couldn’t help herself.
“Treb, wait,” she called out.
He halted the horse and looked back at her over his shoulder.
“Why did you ride over here to see if I needed something?”
“Dalton asked me to check on you.” He gave that easy smile again. “Wanted to make sure we weren’t kicking up too much dust or anything.”
“I see. Where is Dalton?”
“He’s working a different section of cattle today. But he made it a point that I checked on you.”
She could have kicked herself for asking after him. Especially now that she knew he wasn’t dead or ran off somewhere but was indeed working somewhere other than in the pasture near her.
Rae Anne hadn’t been born yesterday. She knew he was sorting through their situation but she’d told him she loved him.
Maybe she should have kept her feelings to herself.
She sighed and wished she had someone to talk to. She thought about calling Desi but she would ask too many questions and then there was always that possibility that Reese might show up and ask questions. It was just better that Desi knew nothing because from the sound of it he’d made some really bad enemies and Rae Anne needed to separate herself from everyone he might connect her too.
Feeling alone and isolated, her mind reeling, she said goodbye to Treb and went back to her garden, attacking a clump of grass with a vengeance. Chopping a tomato plant in half in the process. Staring at her poor tomato plant she halted her hoeing and set the tool to the side so she couldn’t do more damage.
“What is wrong with me?”
She was doing exactly what she’d said she’d never do again and that was focus on a man. Yes, she knew he was different than the other men that had been in her life and he’d gone through something terrible. However, her staying home worrying over what he was going to do was not helping matters and certainly not helping her.
It was time for her to get herself back on track and stop worrying about a man.
And helping with the children’s festival was just the thing she needed…not attacking her poor pathetic tomato plants.
Chapter Sixteen
The blazing sun glared down on them as Dalton stood beside the squeeze chute holding the electric brand waiting for Ty to let the next calf into the metal chute. They’d run a herd of calves through already and had about fifteen to go. He was ready to be finished.
Most of the time they did their branding out on the range like it had been done for a hundred years. But when they had a fresh load come in on a cattle trailer it was easier to unload them into a holding pen and let them enter one by one into the squeeze chute and get their vaccinations, ear tags and brand all in one moment. Doing it this way was monotonous and the reason Dalton preferred being out on the range.
Ty opened the gate, the calf entered the chute and he closed the gate behind it. Immediately, Rafe pulled the lever and the sides squeezed in easily around the animal holding it safely in place. The instant it was held securely Dalton stuck the branding iron through the rail and seared the New Horizon Ranch brand onto its hip. Rafe administered the vaccinations and put the ear tag on then let the calf out the front gate to join the herd.
It was quick and again, monotonous and gave Dalton plenty of time to think-not that he’d been thinking of anything but Rae Anne since he’d walked away from her three days ago. I love you Dalton. Her words clung to him…She loved him. Even standing here in the scalding sun with a hot iron in his hand and business to tend to he couldn’t shake the sweet sound of her voice.
Of those words.
He’d sent Treb to work the cattle around her house today when he could have been the one to lead that crew working on the range like he enjoyed the most. But he’d sent Treb instead, with instructions to check on her.
Treb. He was honorable, a great guy and single…and Dalton wanted to kick himself in the backside for sending h
im over there. Despite his best intentions for her he knew he didn’t want Rae Anne with any man but himself.
For the past seventy-two hours he’d felt the weight of his past heavy on his shoulders but he’d also felt himself at a crossroads and he had to make a choice. Needed to make a choice.
“Hey Dalton,” Ty called, jolting Dalton out of his thoughts. “It’s your turn buddy.”
Dalton glanced at Ty then to Rafe. Both were studying him.
“You okay?” Rafe asked.
“Yeah,” Ty said. “You’ve been behind the ball all morning.”
Dalton concentrated on his job and pressed the branding iron to the calf’s hip, the scent of searing hair filled the air as the New Horizon Ranch brand appeared on the calf…an undeniable mark.
Rae Anne’s love had marked his heart and staring at that brand Dalton knew he couldn’t deny it. Couldn’t ignore it or walk away from it.
“No, I’m not.” He let the brand drop to the ground. “I have to go. I have to see Rae Anne. I have to tell her I love her.”
Both Ty and Rafe grinned.
“Well, it’s about time you realized it,” Ty said.
“Yeah, buddy. If you could just see your face when she’s around…you’d probably know what all of us have already figured out.”
Dalton should have told them that he’d known it all along, it was the not deserving her that had slowed him down. But he didn’t. Nope, he was already jogging toward his truck.
“We need to figure out a way to get Dalton and Rae Anne together,”
Rae Anne froze as Esther Mae’s unmistakable voice drifted over the hedge where she was standing.
Norma Sue grunted. “The boy has been over there on his own a bunch and then we sent him with the baby crib. It’s like he’s unfazed. I’m about ready to tie them in a room together till they realize they’re perfect together.”
“Now, girls.” That was Adela. Rae Anne knew that sweet voice. “You can’t rush love.”
Dalton: Contemporary Western Romance (New Horizon Ranch: Mule Hollow Book 5) Page 11