But I can’t help but to wonder why she’s living in a crappy apartment building when she used money from the café to pay off her mother’s mortgage.
“Why don’t you live in your mother’s house?” I ask before I can stop myself.
Brooke let’s out a small breath and turns away from me as if she doesn’t want me to see her get emotional. “Before my mother died, she was in the middle of remodeling the living room and dining room floors. The house was left a total mess and I just couldn’t find it in me to stay there after she died, knowing she never got to finish. Looking at the mess would’ve reminded me too much. I meant to hire someone to finish the work later, but not a lot of money was left after I paid off all the expenses.”
My breathing picks up as Brooke stands to her feet and walks over to stand next to me. Her blue eyes meet mine and as hard as I try to look away, I can’t.
A strong urge to pull her against me and kiss her pain away takes over and I find myself fighting with everything in me not to act on it.
We still somehow get within just a few inches of each other, until I find myself breathing above her lips.
Just as I think of something to say, Cole appears in the doorway, tapping the wall to get our attention. “You guys good in here?” He runs a hand down his face and watches as I back away from Brooke and cuss under my breath. It’s hard to mistake the worry in his eyes from seeing us so close just now. “I woke up and you were gone. It’s late. Let’s let Jameson sleep. You can talk to me if you can’t sleep.”
Brooke takes a few quick breaths and backs away herself as if she’s just woken up from a trance. “Goodnight, Jameson” she whispers.
“Goodnight. Thanks for the talk.”
Cole’s eyes meet mine after Brooke leaves the room. It looks as if he has something to say, but brushes it off. “Goodnight, man.”
I nod my head and hold the bottle of Jack up. “Night.”
Once I’m alone again, I spend the next hour, staring at the fire, while replaying Brooke’s story over and over in my head.
It seems to be bothering me that the only reason she’s not staying in her home is because her mother’s work was left unfinished.
I can’t get that shit out of my head. It’s eating at me.
All I can think of is how I want to help her . . .
Brooke
IT’S BEEN ALMOST A WEEK since my extremely hot night with Cole and Jameson and I still haven’t been able to stop replaying it in my head, repeatedly.
It was the single most intense moment of my life, having both of their hands and mouths all over me, touching and tasting me.
The feeling is still teasing and taunting me, making it impossible to forget the sensory overload I experienced that night.
Seriously, you try going to work with those images consuming you and see how well you can function. It’s close to impossible, making it extremely difficult to do my job.
Hell, I’m surprised Ben hasn’t given me the boot yet.
I can’t even count the times Karson has had to snap my ass back to reality and remind me that I have a damn job to do.
I seriously owe her big time for being here for me, because I have no idea how I’d be able to think straight for longer than ten minutes, without her distracting me and pulling me from my torturous mind.
It’s not even just the threesome that’s been screwing with me and causing me to get lost in my head. There’s something much bigger that’s been taking over and consuming me.
Jameson . . .
I’ve been thinking a lot about how being with Jameson made me feel that night.
The way he kissed me and moved inside of me with so much meaning, felt like so much more than just a fun experience he was just a part of. He made me feel as if we were the only two in the room.
Cole failed to make me feel that way. I was aware of Jameson’s presence when Cole was inside of me, the entire time.
I don’t think I’m meant to be missing Jameson the way I am, but I can’t push him out of my mind or stop wondering when I’ll see him again.
I’ve seen Cole almost every day now and every single time, I hope that maybe Jameson will be close behind, but he never is.
I’m not sure what I expected to happen after our little threesome, but I guess I hoped he’d still be around. It’s as if I’ve gotten used to the possibility of him just showing up or texting me out of nowhere as if it’s become the normal for us.
And now . . . nothing.
The way is absence is affecting me is confusing the hell out of me.
“You’re doing it again . . .”
“Doing what?” I shove my phone aside and try to convince myself I haven’t been waiting to hear from Jameson. Fooling myself is harder than I thought. “I was checking the time. That’s all.”
Karson flashes me a sympathy smile and reaches for my phone, shoving it into her pocket. “It’s staying in my pants for safe keeping. You just have to make it through thirty more minutes. Give your phone a rest and take care of your thirsty customers. I have a song to sing that might cheer you up.”
I smile and roll my eyes as Karson rushes up to the stage to take over the mic.
It’s her day off, yet she chose to spend my entire shift here, hanging out and singing me random songs every time the bar becomes quiet.
It’s a Thursday evening so that’s often. Too often. Trust me. At this point, I’d pay Ben to shut down the bar for the night, just so I wouldn’t have to listen to Karson sing one more damn song.
Too bad that’s not an option.
I about die when she speaks into the mic and points to me, right as I’m in the middle of making a drink for a customer. “This song is for my freaky deaky little friend over there. I so envy you.”
My face turns red as 3 by Britney Spears begins playing over the speakers and eyes around the room seem to gravitate toward me as random people cheer and congratulate me as if I’ve just won the lottery or some shit.
“That little bitch.” I run my hands over my face and repeatedly tell myself to let Karson keep breathing once this song ends.
“What are best friends for?” My boss appears next to me, watching Karson with a huge smile. It’s as if he’s amused by this. Not that I expect any different from him. He’s a little crazy his damn self. I wouldn’t be surprised if he joined her on stage just to embarrass me more.
“Embarrassment, apparently. At least mine is, anyway. Can you make her stop?”
“Can anyone make her do anything?” He lifts a brow. “Besides, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he says, while grabbing for a water. “You seem to be the luckiest person in the room tonight.”
With that, he walks away, while mouthing the lyrics.
I shake my head and shoot Karson an evil glare, before quickly sliding the two cocktails to the lady in front of me and grabbing the money from her hand.
I’m pretty sure she’s about to question Karson’s song choice, so I take off before she can even move her curious lips.
Even though Karson is a pain in my ass, I can’t help but to smile as I stand back and watch her sing. This song is fucking ridiculous and she looks even more ridiculous singing it.
If she was looking to make me smile . . . it worked.
After Karson’s song, I begin cleaning up, getting the bar prepared for Ariel’s shift.
Lucky for me, she shows up fifteen minutes early, eager to start her shift and kick me out for the night.
So I meet Karson outside in the parking lot and jump into her car expecting her to head toward my apartment, but am surprised when I realize where’s she actually headed.
My heart beats faster, the closer we get to the building.
“What do you think you’re doing?” I question, while looking out the window with wide eyes. “Please tell me we’re not going to Club Reckless. I’ll see Cole when he gets off work.”
“And what about Jameson? Isn’t he the one you really want to see?”
I shake my head, denying t
he truth. Why does she keep bringing Jameson up? This will be the third time this week and it’s driving me crazy. “There’s no reason for me to see Jameson. What was supposed to happen, happened, and now it’s over. I’m talking to Cole and Jameson is probably talking to someone else. That’s how it’s meant to be. So, can you stop bringing him up, please?”
“What if that’s not how it’s meant to be? Who told you that bullshit anyway?”
I shoot my head in her direction and release a disappointed breath, remembering Jameson’s words. “Jameson warned me not to fall for him before we even had sex. He made it clear that if I fall for anyone it needed to be Cole, not him.”
Karson quickly parks and shifts the car into park. “Well, shit changes. Let’s go inside, order a drink and have a little fun.”
Even though my head is screaming at me to tell her no and take a damn Uber home if needed, I follow her past Rowdy and into the club anyway.
I’m a little surprised she didn’t stop to flirt or tell me to go in by myself so she could hang with Rowdy. She just eye fucked him a little and kept moving. It’s as if she’s desperate to get me inside. I don’t get her sometimes.
We’re here just long enough to order drinks and hit the dancefloor, when I look over and spot Jameson, standing with his arms crossed.
My heart instantly skips a beat, making me choke on my drink and fight to catch my breath through my coughing fit.
Why does he have to be so damn beautiful?
My heart almost can’t handle him.
Literally . . .
“You okay?” Karson slaps my back as if I’m a child. “I can’t have you dying on me before we even get a chance to dance. Breathe . . .”
I nod my head and cough up the last bit, hoping like hell Karson doesn’t notice my reason for choking and about dying. “I’m good. You can stop slapping me now.”
She laughs. “You sure?”
“Positive,” I say, while still eyeing Jameson from across the room, completely distracted by his presence. “No, I don’t need a new one . . .”
“What are you talking about?”
My vison of Jameson gets blocked when Karson steps in front of me, most likely testing me.
If she is, I totally failed, because I instantly move my body to the left, standing on my tippy toes just to get another glimpse of him.
“I knew it.” She steps out of the way and turns behind her to look at Jameson. “I spotted him a few seconds ago. Was wondering when you would.”
I keep staring hard, as if Jameson is supposed to magically know I’m here and look in my direction.
“Doesn’t matter.” I take a sip of my drink, being extra careful this time. “I’m not here for him.”
Just then, Jameson looks my direction, his eyes landing on me.
His whole body stiffens, his jaw flexing as he looks me over, taking me in. I can almost see a softness in his eyes as if he’s happy to see me, but then, just like that, he quickly pulls his eyes away, as if he didn’t just see me standing here.
It hurts.
I feel it in my chest as disappointment washes over me, reminding me I’m meant to fall for Cole.
Not Jameson.
Maybe this is his way of reminding me just that and it sucks . . . royally.
“He’s probably just distracted,” Karson says from beside me. She nudges my arm and smiles. “Let’s just dance and have some fun, okay. He’s in a difficult position. Don’t hold it against him.”
I nod my head and whisper, “Yeah, okay.”
As hard as I try to have fun with Karson and forget about Jameson ignoring me as if I don’t even exist to him anymore, I can’t.
It’s eating at me, making it hard to have any fun. My fucking heart hurts right now.
And it’s all my fault. Jameson warned me not to fall for him and I did anyway . . .
Jameson
BROOKE WALKED IN TEN MINUTES ago, and I’ve been fighting like hell to keep my eyes off her, but it’s impossible.
I feel like a complete dick for turning away from her when our eyes met, but I knew if I allowed myself to keep looking, that I’d end up with her in my damn arms.
That’s the last place she’s meant to be.
Since then, I’ve been stealing glances of her from across the room, every chance I get, in hopes she won’t notice me watching her.
Hell, I shouldn’t even be looking in her direction, knowing Cole is just downstairs and could come up at any second.
But the truth is, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her since she left my bedroom last week.
Visions of me sinking between her legs have been haunting me, reminding me of how good it felt to be inside her, both mentally and physically.
I was right, fucking Cole’s girl was exactly what it took for me to get over him fucking me over with Katie, except now . . . now I can’t get over his girl.
Cole knows it too. I’m positive of that shit.
That’s exactly why I need to make Brooke believe I don’t want her.
Things with Cole are back to normal and I need to keep them that way before I destroy our friendship for good.
If I went after what I really wanted, Cole would hate me forever and we’d probably never speak again.
“Lil’ cousin. Damn, you’re getting ripped. Chasing down assholes has really paid off.”
Releasing a slow breath, I pull my eyes away from Brooke and turn around to the vision of Stefan’s cocky face. He’s dressed in his fancy, expensive suit, looking me over as if he’s better than me.
I haven’t seen his ass in over six months, so I guess you can say I’m a little fucking surprised to see him.
The asshole isn’t really my cousin, but since my sister practically grew up at his house with his sister, we became a forced family sort of.
“Stefan,” I say stiffly. “You always have the shittiest timing.”
He points to himself. “Who me? Nah.” Grinning, he slaps my chest and then pulls me in for a tight hug, wrapping his arm around my neck so he can talk in my ear. “Got a minute? I have a favor to ask you.”
Pushing away from his grip, I head toward the back room, knowing he’ll follow if he needs me badly enough.
His favors are never good for me and he’s lucky I’m even giving him a chance after the last one he asked of me.
Walking into the back room, I close the door behind us and lean against the front of the desk, crossing my arms over my chest.
“I’m probably not going to like whatever words come out of your mouth, but ask, since I know you will anyway. I’m a little busy. So, make it quick.”
He runs a hand through his blonde, perfectly styled hair, before pulling out his wallet and flipping through the bills. “I need you to keep an eye on my girl for me. She wants to have a little fun tonight, but I can’t stay. Got some other shit to take care of.”
“Put your fucking money away. I have my own cash, asshole. I just choose not to flaunt it around like you.” I push the ear piece further into my ear, when I hear Cole’s voice come through, asking me to come watch the poker room for him so he can take a quick break. “And hurry this shit up. Like I said . . . I have work to do.”
“Alright, cousin, shit. I’m only asking you this because I need to keep all the assholes away from Abby since I can’t be here to watch her and well . . . security is sort of your thing.” He looks me over, taking in my size. “She likes to dance, so I know dickheads will be lining up to grind their little dicks all over her. You have Katie so I know you’ll keep yours in your pants.”
He’s a clueless asshole. But I’m not getting into Katie or Brooke with him right now. All I want is to get this conversation over with.
“Since when the fuck have you given a shit about anyone other than yourself, for you to have a girl for longer than a week?”
Standing tall, he fixes his tie with a smug smile. “Since some crazy as hell woman rode my dick so hard that the headboard busted my wall. I want to make su
re I’m still getting that treatment after tonight. I can’t have some prince fucking charming swooping in while I’m not here, stealing her away. We’ve only been messing around for a month, but hell, I might just keep this one around for a while. After I’m done taking care of some other business.”
“You’re an asshole. You know that, right?” I uncross my arms and stand up straight, surprised at what he’s asking of me.
The guy’s a total douche that can’t keep a girl to save his life. And before tonight, he hasn’t wanted to.
“I’m pretty sure you can handle my girl for me, right?” He slaps my chest and begins backing up toward the door. “I’ll bring her inside. Let me go get her.”
“Never fucking said . . .”
Before I can respond to the cocky bastard, he rushes out of the room, getting lost in the crowd.
The last thing I want right now is to take care of anyone else’s fucking girl. I’ve already gotten myself into a mess with Cole’s.
But apparently, this idiot plans to leave her in my hands anyway. He’s just lucky I can’t say no to making sure she’s safe. On top of me caring about a woman’s safety; it’s my job.
I won’t be doing it for his wellbeing. That’s for damn sure.
“Fuck, I’m going to lose my shit tonight.”
Not even two minutes later, I spot Stefan walking back toward me, guiding some beautiful blonde chick through the club.
He practically pushes her into my arms.
“Abby, meet my cousin Jameson. If you need anything at all, find him. Don’t trust any other asshole and don’t forget his pretty face.”
Abby smiles up at me, giving me eyes that could only mean trouble. I can’t deal with this kind of shit right now. “I definitely won’t forget that face.”
Frustration takes over as I begin looking around, wondering where Brooke is. The last thing I want is for her to think some other girl is here for me.
I want to make it clear I’m staying away from her and letting Cole have what he wants, but I’m not a heartless bastard that plans to use another girl to get that point across.
“I’ll be downstairs for fifteen minutes,” I say, while backing away from his girl. “Have her stay in this area and I’ll be back when I can. You might want to at least stay until I get back.”
Hard & Reckless (Club Reckless Book 1) Page 10