It’s been almost two years since I’ve been back to my mother’s place.
I think it’s time I suck it up and go back.
I need to figure out what work’s left to be done and get it taken care of.
For her.
The truth is—I’m lonely here—I hate this apartment. It makes me feel so far away from my mother. I miss the comfort of her house.
Before I can give myself enough time to change my mind, I rush out the door and jump into my car.
When I get to the big, brick house, I park out front and take a few minutes to prepare myself for the emotions of being here again.
I know it’s going to overwhelm me. But maybe feeling anything other than what I’ve been feeling for the last week will be a good thing.
Taking a deep breath, I make my way up the porch steps and dig into my purse for the key.
My jaw drops when I push the door open to see the living room floor is no longer a mess of hardwood flooring, waiting to be finished.
It’s done. The whole thing. Not one plank is out of place and it looks amazing.
Stunned, I walk inside and close the door behind me, allowing the tears to flow as I look around the empty room.
“What is going on?” I whisper to myself, overwhelmed with emotions. “Who did this?”
I freeze and my head shoots up, when I hear a noise come from the kitchen.
A part of me is a little creeped out someone is lurking around my mother’s abandoned house in the middle of the night, but the bigger part of me is thankful and extremely curious as to who the hell would do this.
With caution, I walk through the living room, noticing a small light on the kitchen floor, once I get close enough to look inside the door.
That’s when I notice a dirty Jameson, on his knees, working on the tile.
“What . . . how . . .” I’m completely speechless as he looks up at me, his eyes softening once he sees my emotional expression.
“I asked Karson for a key last week.”
“But she didn’t even tell me . . .”
“I asked her not to,” he says, while wiping his hands off and standing up. “Wanted it to be a surprise so you could move back, if you chose to.”
He watches me carefully, slowly moving closer to me as if he’s fighting hard to stay away, but is losing the battle.
Is it bad I want him to give in and lose it?
“Wow . . .” I toss my purse down and move further into the kitchen, taking a look around. “I can’t believe you’ve done all this so quickly. Thank you, Jameson.”
I can see his muscles flex, his body becoming rigid, the closer I get to him. “I didn’t want you to have to wait too long, when you’ve already waited long enough. I’ve been coming here on all of my spare time.”
My eyes land on his, my heartbeat quickening from his words. “You didn’t have to do that for me. I know you must have other stuff going on.”
“I don’t,” he says quickly. Almost too quickly as if he wants to make that part extra clear. “This is my top priority right now.”
“I . . . I don’t know what to say, but thank you. This means a lot to me.”
“I know,” he whispers. “That’s why I’m doing it.”
As much as I know I should keep a safe distance from Jameson, I find myself jumping into his arms, meaning to give him a quick hug, but his grip on me tightens, pulling me back against him, when I go to pull away.
I can feel our hearts hammering together as Jameson roughly cups my face and moves in even closer, as if our bodies already touching isn’t enough for him.
His hard body against mine has me melting into him, wanting more, as his eyes search mine.
“Fuck . . . I can’t stop thinking about you, Brooke.” His grip on my face tightens as he leans down, until his lips are hovering above mine, not even an inch away. “I’ve been trying to be good. I’ve been trying so fucking hard to do the right thing, but seeing you today, made it close to impossible and seeing you now . . . I’m completely screwed.”
My breath gets knocked out by his lips crushing mine and before I know it, my legs are wrapped around his waist and he’s slamming me against the sink as if he’s completely lost any control he has left.
With his lips still capturing mine, he lifts my ass up and above the sink, before setting me down and removing my jacket so he can yank my shirt over my head and throw it across the room.
He’s so rough right now, making me want to go crazy and just get lost in him.
My hands move along his tight body with a desperation I haven’t felt in a long time, pulling at his shirt and jeans as if I’m some kind of fucking wild animal.
It’s a struggle, but I finally manage to get his shirt over his chest and pull it over his head, before moving back down to his pants.
Loud moans escape me as his lips move with perfection against mine, consuming every bit of me.
All that exists in this moment is his mouth on mine and his hands leaving trails of fire along my skin from his heated touch.
I want this. I need this . . . desperately.
Growling into my mouth, he tangles both hands into the back of my hair and pulls as he pushes his hips into me, making me aware of his erection as he grinds it against me. “Shit,” he growls against my lips. “I want to take you home with me so fucking bad.”
Moving my arms up to wrap around his neck, I pull him down to me so I can bite his bottom lip, wanting nothing more than to taste him. “Then do it, Jameson,” I say breathlessly. “I want you to just as bad. You have no idea how crazy I’ve been over you.”
His breathing picks up against my lips as if he’s thinking about the possibility.
“Fuuuuck!” His grip on my hair releases, before he backs away from me and grips onto his own hair in frustration. “This should not be happening right now. You’re my best friend’s girl. He might’ve pulled this shit on me, but I can’t . . . I can’t fuck him over. No matter how badly I want you.”
I sit on the sink, breathing heavily as I watch him pace around the kitchen looking a hot, sweaty mess. My heart aches to still feel him touching me. I hate this. “What do you mean? Cole slept with your girlfriend?”
He stops pacing and reaches to button his jeans back up and throw his shirt back on. “It’s complicated, but yes. And in the beginning, making you want me was supposed to be about getting back at him. But now . . .”
I jump off the sink and watch his back muscles flex through his dirty white shirt as he grips the doorframe. “What, Jameson? What about now? Tell me!”
“Now it’s about me not hurting my friend when all I really want is to keep you as mine. But . . .” he releases the frame and slowly turns around to face me, his eyes filled with pain. “My want for you is too strong to ignore. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to fall for you, but I did. That’s why I need to stay away from you.”
My heart stops from his confession.
Everything inside of me is screaming to jump into his arms and never let go, but I can’t let him get hurt by all this.
Being together the way we want to be, will do nothing but destroy what he has with Cole. I can feel it and it sucks.
“I can’t be with Cole,” I say softly, while reaching for my shirt and jacket to get dressed. “I may not be able to be with you, but I can’t be with him either, when you’re the only thing I can think about.”
He says nothing as I grab my purse and walk away on shaky legs.
It’s not until I reach the front door, that I hear him stalking up behind me.
I wait for him to say something. Anything . . . but he doesn’t. He just angrily grips the doorframe and closes his eyes as I walk away and jump into my car.
Giving them both up is the only thing I can do at this point.
I’ll never be able to be with Cole, knowing that in my heart, I truly want Jameson and can’t have him.
Tomorrow, I’m letting Cole go. I just hope he doesn’t hate Jameson
for it . . .
Brooke
WHEN I TEXTED COLE LAST night to let him know we needed to speak in person, the last thing I expected was for him to show up here, at my work.
My heart about stops the moment I lay eyes on him, walking through the door. The look on his face makes it clear he’s worried about what I have to say.
This is not the place I wanted to have this conversation, but I know I need to let him go before things get in too deep with us.
The last thing I want to do is lead him on and make him believe I want more from him, when I don’t.
I was confused at first. I admit it.
Thought maybe if I went a few days without seeing or talking to Jameson that I’d stop thinking about him and focus back on Cole, but I was wrong.
Seeing Jameson doing work at my mother’s house last night, instead of him being with another girl like I expected, only made me want him more and bring to the surface all the feelings I was trying to push away for him.
No one has ever done anything like this for me before and Jameson did it all on his own. He did it because he knew it’d make me happy.
We could barely stay away from each other once our eyes met and the intensity of our heated kiss, made me well aware of the fact that I’m completely falling for Jameson and not even time or space is going to be enough to stop that right now.
I need to do this. I can do this.
Karson grabs the towel out of my hand and whispers in my ear that she’s got it. “Go out back and talk to Cole. I’ll be fine.”
When I look back up, Cole nervously runs his hand through his messy hair and nods for me to follow him, so I do.
Placing his hand on my lower back, he opens the door for me, guiding me outside and to the side of the building.
My heart feels as if it’s about to jump through my ribcage at any moment.
How the hell am I supposed to say this?
I stayed awake all night, tossing and turning, trying to think of the best way to tell Cole that we need to stop seeing each other.
Nothing and I mean nothing sounded good enough in my head.
Oh, by the way . . . I can’t sleep with you anymore, the sex was great and all, but I’ve fallen for your best friend who doesn’t even want to touch me, because he knows you care about me and will be hurt.
No. Just no.
“Talk to me,” Cole whispers, while backing me up against the building and pinning me in with his arms. “I want you to be able to tell me what’s on your mind, Brooke. Even if you think it’s going to upset me. I’m not blind. I know something’s been bothering you all week. I hate you’ve waited this long to want to talk about it.”
I nervously pull my eyes away from his, unable to hold his intense stare. Hurt already lingers there, making this moment even harder to go forward with. “I can’t do whatever it is we’re doing, anymore. Everything has become . . .”
“Complicated?” he questions.
“Yes,” I say softly. “I’m feeling really confused about my feelings right now and what I should do with them. I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”
I look up into Cole’s eyes when his finger gently lifts my chin toward him. “And those feelings aren’t for me, right. That’s what you’re getting at?”
“I’m sorry,” escapes me, before I can think of a better response. “I’ve never messed around with two guys at the same time before, Cole. I didn’t expect any real feelings to form from anyone’s part. I’ve spent the last week, trying to figure mine out and now I have.”
“I see.” He lets out a frustrated breath and moves his hand along the back of my neck, before gripping it as he moves in closer. “Are you sure you feel nothing for me?”
“I . . . I don’t know. I mean I do, but . . .”
Before I can finish what I’m about to say, Cole closes the distance between us, kissing me with so much passion that it almost takes my breath away.
But it’s not because I feel something deeply for him like I do for Jameson, it’s because I wasn’t expecting it and it has my head going crazy, thinking I’m doing something wrong.
It’s making it hard to breathe.
After a few seconds, I place my hands to Cole’s chest and gently push him away, making Cole pull on my bottom lip, before he releases it. “Nothing?” His question is breathy against my lips as he searches my eyes for the answer.
“I’m sorry, Cole. I do feel something, but it’s not strong enough for me to stop feeling what I feel for Jameson. Doesn’t matter though . . .”
“Why? Why the fuck doesn’t it matter? Of course it does.”
I release a breath and push away from the building, feeling guilty. “Jameson cares about you and hurting your guy’s friendship is the last thing I want to do. I’ll stay away from him. So, it doesn’t matter. He plans to do the same too.”
I force a smile and kiss him on the cheek so I can end this conversation, before I get too emotional. “I should really get back inside. The rush will be coming soon and Karson is too crazy to handle it on her own. She gets distracted easily.”
He closes his eyes, but doesn’t bother looking my direction as I begin backing away.
It’s not until I almost turn the corner that he speaks again. “Did Jameson tell you he’s staying away from you?”
I stop and nod my head. “He made it very clear. Yes.”
“Okay,” he says gently. “That’s all I need to hear.”
My heart hurts at the reminder of Jameson pushing me away last night, but I need to focus on work.
My job is the most important thing right now. It’s important because I need to save up the extra cash to finish what my mom and Jameson started.
There’s no reason Jameson should want to stick around to finish it. There’s nothing left to happen between us and he made that clear last night.
So, I’m going to pull my big girl panties on, go back in that door and make this happen.
I’m going to be strong and do my best to forget both these boys all together.
I was a fool to believe this would be easy . . .
Jameson
NOT EVEN FIVE MINUTES AFTER I walk in the damn door and pour a drink, I hear Cole’s Charger pull into the driveway.
My guess is he’s here to chew my ass out for seeing Brooke last night, when seeing her wasn’t even my intention. It happened by accident.
I was just hoping to get by with finishing up her mother’s house without her finding me. All I want is for her to be happy. Even if it’s not with me, I’ll get a little peace in knowing some of her happiness is because of me.
“Well . . . fuck. This should be good.”
The last thing I feel like dealing with right now is Cole. My head is still fucked up from last night and I’m on edge.
With my arm resting against the brick, I stare down into the flames, listening as Cole walks in and pours himself a drink.
It’s otherwise quiet in this big house.
“Got a message from Brooke late last night telling me we needed to talk in person.” His voice is tight as he speaks. “Just left her work after a nice little conversation.”
With my arm still resting against the fireplace, I tilt my head up to look at him as he stands beside me with his eyes focused on his glass.
“Say what you have to say, Cole. Go ahead. Fucking get it all out. Let’s not drag this out.”
My words cause him to clench his jaw and slam his drink back. “I need another. You good?”
I nod, just wanting him to hurry the fuck up and get this over with.
“Why the hell are you so sweaty and dirty right now?” he questions, while looking me over.
“Just got home from working on a little project,” I say stiffly. “Let’s get to what you really came here to talk about, Cole. All I want is to finish this drink and go to sleep. Your ass is slowing me down.”
His arm flexes as he squeezes his glass and takes a quick swig of Jack, before speaking. “I knew something was off with
Brooke this whole week. I fucking felt her distancing herself from me. Come to find out, there’s a damn good reason for that.”
I stiffly take a drink, waiting for him to continue.
“She fell for my best fucking friend,” he growls. “And as much as I want to kill your ass for it, she made it clear you plan to leave her alone. Is that true?”
I pull my eyes away from the flames, to turn around and face him. “Yeah. I’m not a complete asshole. We’ve been friends for almost our entire damn lives.” I release a frustrated breath and tilt back my glass. “You have my word that I’ll stay away from Brooke.”
“Good.” He slams his empty glass down and locks eyes with me. “I’d hate to lose our friendship over a woman. And like you said before, it’s always over a girl. Especially when that girl is mine.” He points at me. “So, stay away from her. What she needs is a little time to remember what we had before you came into the picture. Maybe some time away from you will allow her to clear her head and think straight.”
“You have my word,” I say through clenched teeth. I’m so close to losing my shit on him. I hope like hell he’s about done with this conversation.
Brooke doesn’t want him.
Maybe a little time will clear his fucking head to that.
“Thanks, man.” He slaps my shoulder and then squeezes it. “I know you didn’t plan for shit to happen this way. So, I respect you backing off even though it’s clear you have feelings for her too. After all, she was mine first.”
Just like Katie was mine.
But hell, I’m not bringing that up. To tell the truth, I’m glad he got rid of her for me. He was right, she did have me blinded to her disloyalty to me.
He did me a favor and now, I’m doing him one by backing off and respecting his feelings for Brooke.
I’m already hating myself for it. Guess that makes me a shitty friend.
“Yeah . . .”
Cole’s grip on my shoulder releases. “You’re a good friend, man.”
With that, he walks away.
I wait until I hear the door close behind him, before I growl out and chuck my glass at the fireplace, watching as the glass shatters against the brick.
Hard & Reckless (Club Reckless Book 1) Page 12