“Wait, Sophie,” Mom said. “Put some sunblock on first.”
“Yeah, you don’t want to get cancer,” Haley said.
“Don’t you start too,” Mom told her. “You’re too young to worry like Grandma.”
I took the bottle of sunblock from Mom and squeezed some onto my hands. I rubbed it into my legs and arms. “Can I go now?” I asked Mom, and she nodded. I ran over to Jackie.
“Don’t run, missy,” someone called. I turned and saw the woman who had pinched Haley’s cheeks on New Year’s Eve. She was sitting under a big umbrella that blocked all the sun. “You may fall,” she told me. Old people worry about everything. But I stopped running and just walked quickly the rest of the way.
“Good, you’re here,” Jackie said. “Now we can start the races.”
“Hold on,” Vicki said. “We have to wait for Haley.” Even though Vicki was closer to my age, she liked Haley best. I think she thought Jackie and I were too babyish, but it didn’t bother her that Haley was even younger. Whenever we played games in teams, Vicki always picked Haley. It wasn’t that I minded being on Jackie’s team. I just wished Vicki would want to be on my team too.
Haley came over after Mom finished rubbing her down with sunblock. She hadn’t rubbed the lotion into her face all the way and there was a little white glob by the side of her nose. Even though I knew it was just sunblock, it looked gross and I didn’t want to touch it. I rubbed the side of my nose to signal to Haley, but she didn’t notice. “What are we playing?” she asked.
“We’re having swimming races,” Vicki told her.
“Can I race too?” Haley asked.
“Of course,” Vicki said.
Vicki said she and Haley could race each other first. They jumped into the pool. Jackie and I were the judges, so we sat on the edge with our legs dangling in the water. “On your marks, get set, go!” Jackie shouted.
Haley kicked off from the back wall and swam as fast as she could to the other side. Vicki was a really fast swimmer. I watched her move underwater and I knew that if I were racing her, she would definitely beat me. She came up for air just before she reached us and turned around to see where Haley was. Then she waited until Haley had nearly touched the wall before she swam the last couple strokes. I knew she did it just to let Haley win. It wasn’t fair, but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want Vicki to think I was a baby.
“I won! I won!” Haley shouted. I noticed that the glob of lotion on Haley’s face had rubbed off in the water, so it no longer looked like there was snot by her nose.
“You were really fast,” Vicki told her.
Since Haley had won, she was in the next race against me. I jumped in and held on to the side of the pool. “On your marks, get set, go!” Jackie shouted. I kicked off the back wall and swam as fast as I could. I didn’t let Haley win. “Wow, Sophie,” Haley said after we had finished, “you’re even faster than me.” She looked so proud of me that I sort of felt bad for not letting her win.
We held a few more races, and then Vicki suggested that we have a diving competition. Dad had taught Haley and me to dive the last time we were in Florida. Haley had a tendency toward belly flops. She would stand at the edge of the pool with her arms up and knees bent, in the perfect diver’s stance. Then she would lean forward and fall straight into the pool so that her body hit the water at the same time that her hands and arms did. I was pretty good at making sure my hands hit the water first. The hardest part for me was remembering to straighten my legs after I jumped.
Jackie called her dad over so he could be the judge. Vicki went first because she was oldest. When it was my turn, I walked to the edge of the pool, letting my toes go a little bit over the edge. Then I swung my arms up, took a deep breath, and dove in. I tried to remember to straighten my legs. I was concentrating so hard on my legs that I accidentally swallowed some water and I tried not to cough too hard when I came up to the surface.
“Impeccable,” Jackie’s dad said. I swallowed to try to make the choking feeling go away. I wasn’t sure what “impeccable” meant, but I didn’t want to ask. I wanted Vicki to think I was smart. Besides, Jackie’s dad was smiling when he said it and I was pretty sure it was something good.
I’ll check what it means with Dad, I thought. That was when I realized that maybe I would see him when we got home. The thought of it made me so scared, and I wasn’t sure I could do it. It was like going back into the water after you fall off a boat. I smiled even though there was still water up my nose, and climbed out of the pool to watch Jackie take her turn diving.
Sixteen
WE GOT HOME late on Sunday night. Mom gave Haley the key to check the mail before we went upstairs. I hoped there would be a letter from Katie. After all, it had been more than a month since her last letter. According to Ms. Brisbin, we were supposed to write each other at least once a month, so Katie really owed me a letter. But maybe she was too busy to write me. Or maybe Katie had decided not to write to me because I wrote her too much. Maybe she didn’t like me at all, just like Jessie.
“Sophie, you got something,” Haley said. She waved an envelope back and forth in front of my face. I recognized my name written in Katie’s handwriting.
“All right. Gimme that,” I said, and I grabbed it from Haley.
“Can I read it too?” she asked.
“No,” I said. “Mail is private.”
“But it’s not fair,” she whined. “I never get anything in the mail. Please?”
“No,” I said. I held the envelope above my head so Haley couldn’t reach it.
“Mom!” Haley called.
“Girls. That’s enough,” Mom said. “Let’s get upstairs and go to bed.”
We rode up in the elevator. Mom told us we were overtired and needed to go to bed right away because we had school the next day. I don’t know why she thought she knew how I felt. Maybe Haley was whiny and overtired, but I wasn’t at all. When Mom wasn’t looking, I got the flashlight from the hall closet. Of course if I’d had my own room I wouldn’t have needed the flashlight. Luckily, Haley really was tired and she fell asleep quickly. As soon as I heard Haley’s breathing deepen in the next bed, I opened Katie’s letter, careful not to spill any of the confetti I knew would be in the envelope.
Dear Sophie,
Thanks for all your letters. I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while. I’ve been really busy finishing up everything for school before vacation. The talent show was awesome, by the way. Everyone laughed at all the right parts and they told Jake and me that we could take our show on the road.
How are you? I hope you’re having a good vacation and that you made up with your friend Jessie. Everything here in California is good. Julie and I are planning a New Year’s party. My parents are going out. Julie thinks she is babysitting me, but really she is only two years older than me, so I think we’re pretty equal. Anyway, Julie and I each get to invite a friend over. We’re going to decorate the house and make a cake so it will seem like a party even if it’s just four people. I think it will be a lot of fun as long as Julie cheers up. She has been in a really bad mood lately because she hates school, but she’s getting happier now because it’s vacation.
So I bet it’s really cold now in New York, right? It’s still pretty warm here. I wish it would be cold enough to snow at least one day out of the winter! I haven’t even seen snow in three years. But that will change because my dad is going to take Julie and me skiing in Lake Tahoe next week. We’ve never gone before, but my dad used to ski when he was in college and he’s going to teach us. Julie’s afraid, but I’m not. Dad said we’ll start out on the easiest trail, but I bet I’ll be able to go down a really hard trail by the end of our trip! That’s my goal, at least.
I hope you have a good vacation and I hope you write me back soon.
Sincerely,
Katie
Katie was lucky—my parents would never let me stay home alone until midnight, even if I did have an older sister there with me. But I though
t I would be too afraid to be home alone anyway. Katie definitely seemed to be a braver kind of person. I folded the letter up and slipped it back into the envelope. Then I got out of bed as quietly as I could and put the letter into my desk drawer. Haley never woke up.
Seventeen
THE NEXT MORNING we had to go back to school. It was as if vacation had never happened. Haley had ballet after school so I walked home by myself. I made up my mind that I was going to finally call Dad, and when I got upstairs, I called him at his office before I could change my mind. My heart was beating fast as the phone rang. I hoped he wasn’t mad at me about New Year’s. After two rings Dad answered the phone in his work voice. “Jack Turner,” he said.
I took a deep breath. “It’s me, Dad,” I said. “It’s Sophie.”
“Oh, Soph,” Dad said, and I knew he wasn’t mad at all. Even though it was a Monday, Dad said he would come to take me to dinner that night if I wanted, just the two of us. Haley wasn’t even invited.
“I have to check with Mom,” I told him. “I’ll call you back.” I went into Mom’s office. She was reading résumés at her desk, and I sat in one of the chairs that her clients sit in.
“I called Dad,” I told her.
Mom put down the papers she was holding. “Do you feel okay about it?” she asked.
I nodded. “He said he wants to take me to dinner tonight,” I said.
“Do you want to go?”
“Am I allowed to go?” I asked. “I know it’s not a Tuesday.”
“Honey,” Mom said, “of course you’re allowed.”
“Are you mad?” I asked.
“Why would I be mad?” I didn’t know what to say so I shrugged my shoulders.
“Sophie,” Mom said, “you don’t have to stay away from Dad for me. You know that, don’t you?” I sort of knew it, but I was still afraid of hurting Mom’s feelings. I just shrugged my shoulders again.
“So that’s what this was about,” Mom said softly.
“Sometimes I hear you crying,” I told her.
“Oh, Sophie,” Mom said. She got up from her desk and came over to hug me. “Why don’t you call Dad and tell him to pick you up after work,” she said.
Later that night the intercom buzzed and I knew that Dad was waiting in the lobby for me. I got my jacket from the hall closet and went to the elevator. Dad was talking to the doorman when I got downstairs. But when he saw me walking toward him, he turned to me and opened his arms. I started running. Dad bent down and lifted me up. I was glad no one was around to see.
Dad said we could go anywhere I wanted to eat. There are a lot of restaurants near where we live, but my favorite place to eat is a pizza place downtown. They fire the pizza in a brick oven and the crust gets really thin and crisp. It’s Dad’s favorite pizza place too, so I knew he wouldn’t be upset that I picked somewhere kind of far away. We walked to the subway together. After all those weeks of not seeing Dad, it was like nothing had changed when I did see him. Dad put his arm around me while we waited on the subway platform. There’s always a rush of air when the train pulls up, and I hate it because my hair flies all over the place and the dust sometimes gets in my eyes. I pressed my face into Dad’s shoulder.
When we got to the restaurant, we ordered a mushroom and extra cheese pizza, just like we always did. Dad told me that he didn’t get to take any time off of work during New Year’s because Ed Simon had gone away and forgotten papers in the office. He called Dad on New Year’s Day and made him go into the office. “There I was,” Dad said. “I was already missing my girls, and then I had to be all alone at the office on a national holiday. I thought I would defenestrate my desk chair.”
“What does ‘defenestrate’ mean?” I asked.
“It means to throw something out a window,” he said. “Now you use it in a sentence.”
“If the pizza doesn’t come soon, I’m going to defenestrate myself,” I said. And just at that moment the waiter came over with our pizza. It was still so hot from the oven that the cheese was bubbling.
Dad laughed. “Perfect timing,” he told the waiter. “You just saved my daughter’s life.”
I remembered how Marachel had talked about visiting her father, like it was so normal, like nothing was wrong. So this is how it is when your parents are divorced, I thought. It still feels okay to be with them.
Dad walked me home after dinner. The doorman opened the door for me when he saw me. But before I walked in, I wrapped my arms around Dad’s middle. “See you tomorrow for dinner,” I said.
“I can’t wait,” Dad said.
I turned to go inside. I knew Dad was going to stand and watch until I got into the elevator and the doors closed. I turned back around. “Hey, Dad,” I called. “What does ‘impeccable’ mean?”
“It means perfect,” Dad said. “Just like you.” I smiled and headed for the elevator. When I got upstairs, I pulled a piece of stationery out of my desk drawer to write back to Katie. “Dear Katie,” I wrote, “I didn’t tell you this before but my parents are getting divorced. It was really hard at first but it’s getting better.” I told her about going to dinner with Dad after not seeing him for so long. I wondered if she would think I was brave. “I hope you had fun skiing with your dad and Julie. Write me back and tell me all about it.” I signed my letter, “Sincerely, Sophie” just like always, but this letter seemed more important than all my other letters.
Eighteen
A COUPLE OF weeks later Ms. Brisbin announced that she was going to break us up into pairs so we could write reports on the chapters in To Kill a Mockingbird. We had finally finished reading it. “The only fair way to do this,” Ms. Brisbin said, “is for me to assign you randomly.” She had all our names on scraps of paper in a bowl, and she picked two at a time to determine the pairs. I sat with my hands folded in my lap and I could feel my palms starting to sweat. There were a lot of people in my class that I did not want to work with. Ms. Brisbin reached into the bowl. “Alyssa and Samantha,” she said. She made a note in her grade book and then reached back into the bowl. “Lindsay and Jillian.”
I let out a breath. Thank goodness I’m not with Lindsay, I thought.
Ms. Brisbin reached back into the bowl. “Jessie and Sophie,” she said. I squeezed my hands together tighter. They were sticky from my sweat. Jessie let out a low groan, but she was so quiet about it that I didn’t think anyone heard but me. I kept my eyes on Ms. Brisbin because I was afraid to look at Jessie. I knew she was watching me with her eyes narrowed into little slits, even though I hadn’t done anything wrong. Ms. Brisbin finished making up the pairs. “Any questions?” she asked.
Lindsay’s hand shot up and Ms. Brisbin nodded toward her. “Can we trade partners?” Lindsay asked.
“No,” Ms. Brisbin said. “Absolutely no trading. You can work alone on this if you have a good reason, but remember I’m assigning work meant for two people, and it will be a lot to tackle by yourself.” Lindsay sat back and crossed her arms. I was too nervous about being paired with Jessie to be happy that Lindsay was upset about her partner too.
That afternoon I had to walk home with Haley. She was late getting out because she couldn’t find her mittens. By the time we got outside, Jessie was on the corner with Lindsay, Amy, Melissa, and a bunch of the Dorr boys. I took Haley’s hand, lowered my head, and walked past them, hoping they wouldn’t see me. But then someone called out. “Hey, Sophie!”
It was a boy’s voice, of course. I knew Jessie and the other girls would never call me, and I wanted to pretend that I hadn’t heard, but Haley said, “Someone’s calling you.” I shook my head and pulled her hand harder, hoping she would understand.
“Hey,” the voice said again. “Sophie! Sophie the Shrimp!” I turned and looked up, and there was Madden. Jessie was next to him, glaring at me.
Haley saw her too. “Hey, Jessie!” she called.
“Hi, Haley,” Jessie said. She smiled a little bit, but she still didn’t say hello to me.
“Come on, Ha
ley,” I said. “We have to go.”
I got home and went into my room. I decided to work on my article for the school paper. I was supposed to write about the student art exhibit in the lobby at Victor. It was better than doing my homework—especially the To Kill a Mockingbird project. Every time I thought of To Kill a Mockingbird I felt like I was getting sick. I really did like the book, and I hated how everything with Jessie was ruining it for me. Maybe there was a way for Mom to write me a note so I could get out of working with Jessie. Ms. Brisbin had said we needed to have a good reason to work alone. Was the fact that Jessie hated me a good enough reason? I wouldn’t care if I didn’t have a partner at all and I had to do it all by myself. I pulled a piece of paper out of my desk and tried to work on my article. I had to think of a word to describe the colors of the paintings in the lobby besides the word “colorful.” Haley wandered in with a paper heart that she’d made at school and hung it on our bedroom door.
“Do you like it?” Haley asked. I was lying on my bed trying to concentrate and I didn’t really care about Haley’s artwork.
“It’s fine,” I said without looking up.
“Valentine’s Day is next month,” she said. “Do you know what that means?”
Haley didn’t seem to notice that I wasn’t paying attention to her, and she continued. “It means it’s my birthday soon . . . and your birthday soon.” I noticed that Haley listed her birthday before mine, even though mine was actually two weeks before hers. “I haven’t even made my present list yet,” she said. She climbed onto my bed with a pad of paper and a pen. “You can tell me your list too,” she said. “I’ll be the secretary and write everything down.”
But I didn’t think I was going to ask for any birthday presents. I remembered hearing Mom and Dad fighting and Mom saying we wouldn’t have enough money if Dad moved out. Well, now Dad had moved out. They had already just spent money on our Christmas presents. If we made them buy us too much, maybe we would have to leave Victor and go to a school that wasn’t so expensive. I had been at Victor since kindergarten. Even if I wasn’t friends with Jessie anymore, I didn’t want to think about having to go to school anywhere else. I shoved Haley and she tumbled off the bed. “Do that on your own bed,” I told Haley. “I’m working. And I’m not making a list this year.”
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