by E A Price
Valentine’s Mates
Supernatural Enforcers Agency
Short Stories
E A Price
Copyright ©2018 by Elizabeth Ann Price
All rights reserved. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author.
Disclaimer
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of my imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to humans, witches, vampires, and shifters living or dead is coincidental.
Note – the stories presented here may make the use of magic seem cool or fun and while it totally is, you should definitely show caution when using magic - it’s dangerous and has a boatload of side effects. Blue skin is fine for Mystique or The Smurfs, but try walking down the street without people bursting into laughter – not going to happen. So to recap, it’s cool but you have to be careful.
Contents
One: Blueberry Muffin Heartache
Two: Double Date
Three: Growing Pains
Four: Soul Mates
Five: Fun at the Zoo
Six: Free Vacation
Seven: King Kong and Cottontail
One: Blueberry Muffin Heartache
Crystal sighed. Thump. Thump. Thump.
“Ed, two steps to the right.”
He let out a noise that sounded somewhere between a cat getting sucked into a lawnmower and a cat trying to get to grips with a bouncy castle – a cat was involved somewhere – and then he managed to make it through the door.
He’d been walking into the wall for five minutes. When she first started working in records, she’d been quick to help out her life-challenged colleagues – the zombies – whenever they were experiencing difficulty. But on realizing it was a full-time occupation, she generally just let them get on with it knowing that within a good ten to fifty minutes they would work out where the door is for themselves. Like when Ed went into the female toilets rather than the male, it only took him fourteen minutes to realize why so many women were screaming at him and throwing toilet paper at his head.
But, she had a headache, and today the thumping was getting on her nerves. She didn’t mind working with zombies – not really. They were never mean or intentionally rude. They weren’t arrogant or obnoxious. Nope, just dead. They were just slow and never very aware of their surroundings. But they could certainly file things. There weren’t many job opportunities open to the undead – unless you were a vampire. But working in records in the Supernatural Enforcers Agency was one of them.
The zombies were actually her more pleasant co-workers. People who were attracted to this job weren’t the most social animals. Mostly, they were nocturnal shifters who gravitated towards grumpy at the best of times. While the vampires were resentful of the fact that they hadn’t invested their money well over their hundred plus lifespans, and now had to resort to a job filing records in a basement.
But, Crystal liked it. She was a small, quiet penguin shifter and had thoroughly enjoyed working at the city library until cutbacks meant she had to look elsewhere for work. She had always enjoyed being able to read at work – that and getting to shush people. She had an immensely impressive shush. But working in records was much like the library – she filed things, checked out files and got to read and laugh at some of the more colorful case reports that came her way. Like the case of the rogue witch who was exacting her revenge on everyone who wronged her by turning their skin blue and their hair white. She managed to turn five SEA agents before they took her down. Crystal almost couldn’t breathe for laughing when she saw the photo of the agents – they looked like Smurfs on steroids.
She pulled the pile HR had sent towards her. Files for new members of staff. Usually, she’d take a look inside all of them – getting to know her new colleagues without ever having to move her butt. However, her monster of a headache was irritating her, and she just wanted to do her work and take a lie down. Preferable somewhere that the zombies weren’t – waking up to find one of them prodding you was not enjoyable.
Her penguin flapped her wings huffily. Yes, yes, it was worth it. Her head was bad because she’d spent half the night alternately yelling at her boyfriend and moving her stuff out of his apartment. Ex-boyfriend she amended when her penguin huffed. Yep, they’d been together for four months and had even moved in together, and she just found out that he was already married to another penguin who lived in Playa Lunar and they had a baby on the way. Crystal had believed he spent half his time there and half his time in Los Lobos for work. Nope! Just keeping his two families secret from each other. Dickish wolf shifter had even wanted Crystal to have kids with him. Apparently, he had a thing for penguins…
But now she was kind of a little homeless and sleeping on her best friend, Bea’s couch while her collection of penguin figurines balanced precariously on Bea’s overstuffed bookcase. The dick had called wanting her back, but there was no way she was getting involved with a married man – too many hearts to get broken there. It was definitely over, and she… ah…
One of the files fell open and the photo of the guy… blarh… Yep, that was drool. He was gorgeous. He was knitting pattern gorgeous! She’d gone all girly and silly over her dickish wolf shifter, but oh… Her penguin squawked like a demented loon, and Crystal’s sex absolutely quivered at just the picture. Ed was going to come back from the bathroom – probably the ladies bathroom knowing Ed – and find just a puddle of hormones and yearning on the floor. He’d probably prod it.
Crystal snapped up the file, her headache completely forgotten.
“Arik Howell,” she murmured.
Such a good, manly name she thought approvingly. But then she’d probably think that if he was called Betty. Oh! He was the new director. Or at least, the deputy director to Gerry Sanders. Since Director Sanders’ mate was now expecting her own baby snake or possibly squirrel, someone new was being brought in to lessen his workload. Apparently, Arik Howell was a bit of a legend at the Pruin branch of the SEA.
He was a bit of a legend with her already…
Her eyes memorized every inch of his face, from the high cheekbones to the piercing blue eyes and the short blonde almost white hair. Not to mention those wide shoulders.
“Polar bear,” she murmured as she read his species. “Seven feet tall.”
No wonder he was big. Bears were usually huge. Her penguin fluttered, and Crystal imagined all the long, cold nights they could spend curled up in front of a fire. Who needs a bear skin rug when she could just curl up on him…
But her fantasies stopped dead in their tracks when she read the next line. Relationship status – married.
Her inner bird whined but Crystal just snorted and slammed the file shut. Of course, he was married. Who wouldn’t want to marry him? Probably to a perfect polar bear shifter like him. Not a strange little homeless penguin shifter who liked to write Disney Princess fan fiction in her spare time. What if the princesses were in a modern day high school…
Her headache roared back to life. Ah well, she supposed she could still dream about him.
*
Okay, this was definitely out of dream territory and veering into stalking. Oh, who was she kidding – she was definitely in stalker country and might even be in the running for Queen.
“Stupid, stupid, penguin,” she muttered to herself
as she crouched behind his trash cans.
Crystal chewed on her lip. Was it her fault that she happened to glance at his address in his file and committed it to memory, and then decided to visit it to see what it was like? Well, yeah, probably. But she couldn’t help herself. He wasn’t due to start work for another week, and she was jonesing for a look at him in the flesh. Perhaps a real look at him would dismiss all her silly fantasies. Like the one where he kissed his way up her legs to her sex in front of the roaring fire. Or the one where he took her from behind in front of the roaring fire. Huh. Maybe she just had a thing for roaring fires. Anyway, she needed to see him – maybe he wasn’t as breathtaking in person… Her bird let out a honking noise – she doubted it too.
She’d walked up and down in front of his house a few times, hoping to see him in person, but when she started getting attention from the curtain twitchers across the street, she decided on a stealthier course of action. Which apparently meant ducking down and crouching next to the trash cans. Yep, she was one classy penguin.
She closed her eyes and breathed in and out a few times. Okay, she was going to open her eyes, get up and walk away. Yep, that’s exactly what she was going to do. Her penguin sulked, but she definitely should not be there.
One, two, three.
She opened her eyes and squawked at the raccoon an inch from her face. She tumbled backward knocking over all the cans and making the raccoon chitter – damn thing sounded like he was laughing. Yep, she was on her ass and covered in garbage.
“Gross,” she muttered as she peeled a banana skin off her shoulder.
“What’s going on out there?” called a female voice from his house.
Crap. That had to be his wife. There were noises from the house, and lights were being turned on.
“This is all your fault!” she scolded the raccoon.
Crystal scrambled to her feet, scowled at the remorseless raccoon and took off running as fast as her diminutive, curvy frame would allow – which wasn’t very. Thankfully, she had actually driven her car there – she wasn’t built for long walks. But that was close - too close, and she didn’t even get a look at him! No, but she did almost get arrested. Her penguin tried to pout – not easy for a penguin.
She needed to stop her obsession and quickly, because this sure as hell was not healthy.
*
Crystal fanned herself with the file. She could do this. All she had to do was walk into his office, hand him the file and then she could scarper back down to the basement and hide in the ladies bathroom until she cooled down. Ed might come and bother her in there – she was starting to think Ed had been a bit of a pervert when he was alive – but she could easily spend an hour in there without too much interruption.
Of course, Director Howell wanted a file on his first day. Of course, he had to ring down, purr at her with his deep, sexy voice and ask her to bring it up for him. Of course! It wasn’t like she could get away with avoiding him!
But maybe if she met him, she could see that he wouldn’t meet all her wild, romantic expectations. Crystal rolled her eyes and forced herself to knock on his door. Her inner penguin squawked, and her insides quivered at the booming, “Come in.”
Clutching the file and eyes dipped downward, she pushed her way into his office. Of course, that wasn’t conducive to being able to navigate furniture. Yep, she careened straight into a chair and toppled over it head first. She landed on the floor like a graceless, drunken gymnast.
“Oof!”
A second later, a large, warm body was pulling her into his arms, and she focused on the handsome, concerned face above her.
“Are you okay?” he rumbled.
Oh, she was now. That was a face to could cure all pain. Or perhaps she was still a bit too dazed to register it yet really.
Her lips automatically curled into a smile as her penguin simpered. “I’m Crystal. I brought you your file.”
A small chuckled escaped his sensual lips. “Thank you, Crystal.”
Oh, she was in trouble.
*
One month later
Meli snuffled as she browsed through the ads on Witchbay. How could Martin do this to her? He was just dumping her to move to Africa to be a teacher. Didn’t she mean anything to him? She thought they were going to be together forever. Thought they were going to get married. But no, Martin only cared about what he wanted. He wanted a future without Meli.
She bit her lip as a fresh wave of tears threatened to fall. She’d been crying over him for a week. Everyone kept telling her she’d get over it, but she couldn’t. Her heart would never forget him, and she had to do something about it.
Her stomach churned as she found the item she was looking for. She flicked through the item descriptions, ignoring the disclaimer, and clicked ‘buy it now.’
Valentine’s was coming up, and she couldn’t bear to be alone and miserable. If Martin could forget about her, then she could forget him too.
*
“You stupid bird, what are you doing?”
Crystal was back spying on Arik’s house again and talking to herself. She was running the gamut on crazy these days. She shouldn’t be so surprised that she was there – after all, she practically went there every night…
The last month had been torture. Not only did she see him every day at work, but she ran into him all over town – at the dry cleaners, at the grocery store, at the coffee shop, at the bank… He was freaking everywhere! Any chance of her crush dwindling was absolutely out of the question. Never mind getting him out of her head – she couldn’t even get him out of her eye line. He was always there, always gorgeous and always completely oblivious to the quivering mess he turned her into.
“No, don’t do that,” she chided Pongo.
The dog gave her a sneer as he tried to dig a hole in Arik’s lawn. Once again she wondered at the sense in calling a Doberman Pongo – looked more like a Beast or a Beowulf to her. But, to make it seem like she was actually there for a reason – rather than the actual creepy stalker reason – she had borrowed her neighbor’s dog. Or perhaps, mini horse, because he was huge and had a look that suggested he saw Crystal as little more than a chew toy. It was… disconcerting to say the least.
She had found a new apartment and luckily – or unluckily – they allowed pets, so she had a good supply of dogs on hand to walk. Of course, she generally preferred to walk the poodle, Lucky, but in a pinch, Pongo had to do.
“Come on,” she hissed at him.
He sneered again but then snapped to attention as he spied a cat slinking past Arik’s car.
“Oh no!”
The beast took off after the cat at full speed. Crystal dropped the leash – lest she wanted a trip along Arik’s lawn, and watched in horror as the beast careened straight into Arik’s car.
“Shit!”
The alarm sounded, and as Crystal rushed to retrieve the now-dazed Pongo, she noticed there was a large dent in the side of the vehicle.
The lights on the house flared to life, and she dragged the monstrosity with her, diving behind a hedge, and unfortunately landing on some flowerbeds. Great. Not only had she destroyed the flowers, but she was now covered in fertilizer.
She peeked out to see him striding towards his car. Her penguin sighed in happiness while Crystal merely winced. She hoped he wouldn’t scent her, but then she had doused herself in perfume and now had a distinct fertilizer-like smell to cover it up.
Crystal bit her lip and when the dog started making a noise, she glared at him with enough fury to actually keep him quiet.
She watched as Arik stroked the dent in his car, then he stood up and peered around him. He seemed to be zeroing in on her location when a feminine voice called his name. A tall female – his wife she thought - strode out of the house, hands on hips.
“Come inside,” she called in an exasperated voice.
Arik grunted and stared in Crystal’s direction for a couple more beats before joining the female and walking into the hou
se.
Phew, that was a close one. She scowled at Pongo, who was looking mighty smug. Never again – nope, she would get her own dog before she would take out this hell beast again. But, at least she got to see him… and got covered in fertilizer. Yep, it had been a terrific night.
*
Sydney sighed at the wedding paraphernalia cluttering her parents’ kitchen table.
“I think…” began Christine before launching into another of her extravagant ideas.
Kurt squeezed Sydney’s hand under the table. Yep, their wedding preparations were full throttle thanks to Kurt’s mom, Christine. They had started organizing it themselves, but when Christine got involved, it was soon a hostile takeover.
Not that Sydney minded very much. She was glad that Christine wanted to be in charge. Sydney was much more comfortable tinkering with her inventions that arguing with a bakery about blue frosting. Apparently, they didn’t want to make a blue cake – but it was Kurt’s favorite color.
Kurt and his mom were both witches, while Sydney was human, her mom was human and her dad a scary rhino shifter.
Christine tapped a manicured nail on an inch of empty table. “Now, what should we use as a ring bearer? Dogs are quite popular, but I’m not fond of dogs. How about a swan?”
Sydney’s mom, Charlotte - always the calm, easygoing one - smiled politely. Her dad, Bill, leaned against the counter, sucking on a beer and grunting in disapproval at everything.
Sydney frowned. “Wouldn’t a swan eat the wedding rings?”
Kurt smirked. “Maybe we could get Cecile from work to do it.”
They both worked for the Supernatural Enforcers Agency. Sydney as a technician and Kurt as a magical investigator. Cecile was one of the directors of the SEA and was indeed a swan shifter.
“Good idea,” said Christine, oblivious to Kurt’s teasing. “Get Cecile to do it. All she has to do is wear a bow around her neck, a bonnet on her head and strap a pillow to her stomach.”
“I couldn’t possibly ask her,” said Sydney, blooming in embarrassment.