by Jillian Neal
“That feels good doesn’t it? You like it rough don’t you, sweet girl?”
“Oh, God, yes!”
“You’re mine, every inch of you. All mine.”
He pressed harder with his hand and his cock. Never had he been with a woman before that made him want to rip off the condom so he could feel her tightened walls draw against his skin, fuck the consequences. He’d never do that to her. He’d never to that to anyone, but the idea of unloading his cock deep inside of her with nothing between them made him lose it long before he was ready.
With his fingers coaxing her g-spot from the other side, he felt his cock give one last fierce throb from inside of her. A thunderous growl accompanied the cum that shot from his head. He managed to stay with her until he forced another orgasm from deep within her. She fell forward to the bed and brought his body down on top of her.
They tried to recapture their ragged breaths. She reached for the make-shift blindfold, but he managed to catch her hand. “Don’t take it off yet, sweetheart. Just give me a minute to turn off the lights. I don’t want your eyes to hurt.” Forcing himself to get up and walk seemed damned near impossible after all of that, but he managed. After washing his hands quickly, he turned off both of the lamps near her bed and pulled the curtains back so only the hesitant light of the moon lit the room, then he eased the scarf off of her face.
She blinked several times and then gave him a smile of supreme satisfaction.
“I like that look.” He chuckled. He brushed a tender kiss along her forehead and guided her body up onto his chest. “Can I please stay with you tonight, Arley?”
She clung to him forcefully. “You thought you had to leave?”
“I don’t want to leave, sweetheart, but I don’t want to overstay my welcome, so to speak.”
“Please don’t leave.” She closed her eyes and forced her jaw to shut before she continued her appeals. Please don’t ever leave.
“I’m right here, baby doll. Just go to sleep. I’ve got you.”
Nine
John smiled before he allowed his eyes to open. He rather enjoyed the sound he heard, though it had to be nearing three in the morning. The rapid fire taps of her fingers on her keyboard delighted his soul.
He rolled in the bed, opened his eyes, and smiled. She was so thoroughly enwrapped she didn’t notice him staring at her. Her fingers couldn’t seem to keep up with her muse. With a deep yawn, John rolled back over and continued one of the best nights of sleep he’d ever gotten.
But the next time he awoke, panic shot through his body. Arley wasn’t beside him, and she wasn’t seated at the desk. Sunlight poured its warmth into the room, but a cold chill set in his gut. There were two places their session the evening before could’ve landed her. He’d hoped her sexy confidence, belief in herself—and if he were being completely honest, a belief in him—would emerge, but she’d given into the shame. He stood quickly, redressed, and rushed through the Inn to find Arley.
He almost collided with Ryan as he paced in the kitchen. “She’s on the back deck. She’s crying, man.” Ryan’s deep concern was chiseled on his features. Sienna was gnawing her bottom lip.
“I’ve got her. I half expected this. She have coffee?” He halted just before he reached the back door.
Sienna shook her head. “No, but here.” She quickly fixed two cups, adding cream and sugar to Arley’s.
John had to slow to carry the coffee, but he managed. She was curled up in the corner of the bench that ran the length of the back deck. She appeared to be trying to make her body so small she might just disappear from existence itself. Pain speared John’s chest. Clearly she hadn’t been ready for all of that.
“Hey,” he soothed as he set the coffee beside her and wrapped his arms around her. “Listen to me, please. I would never, ever share what happened between us last night with anyone, ever. It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life, sweetheart. Please don’t be ashamed of what we did. I’m sorry. I never would have done any of that if I’d known you were going to end up in tears in the morning.”
Her chest drew in a shuddered breath. Hot tears blazed trails over his shoulder. They felt like they might’ve been spiked with jagged shards the way they wounded him.
“That was for you and for me and no one else. What you entrust to me when I get you like that,” he shook his head, “I don’t share. And if you still want to know why I didn’t sleep with you after our date the other night, it’s because I was terrified this is where it would leave you. I would never tell anyone any of that. Do you hear me, Arley?”
She nodded against him, but the weight of all that had been pressed upon her as of late had taken its toll.
“Hey,” he gently lifted her head and wiped away the deluge of tears. Reaching behind her he held the coffee mug in front of her face. She smiled through her tears. He brought the cup to her mouth and tipped it as she helped him guide it back. “See, I do know how to make you smile.”
“I’m … sorry.” She shivered again. “I just kind of freaked out.”
“If anyone had a right to freak out, it was you, baby doll. I just don’t want to ever make you cry.” He kept that thought planted firmly in his mind. He couldn’t let this go too far. It would run its course, and they needed to both walk away happy once it was over.
“I dated this guy for a few months and …” she broke down in another round of tears. He took the mug from her again and wrapped her back up in his arms.
“I know, sweetheart. I saw the article. You don’t have to tell me, but you do have to know that your ex is a douche nozzle of epic proportion and that I would never hurt you, Arley. I’m not him. We’re not all complete assholes.”
“You saw the article?” She used what little energy she had left to panic.
“Hey, shh, yes, I saw it, but no, that is not at all why I shared what I shared with you. That was all me and all you. I didn’t change one thing about myself. I gave you all of me, and I was hoping you did the same.”
“I did.” Her whispered admittance shattered his heart. “That’s why I got so scared, I think.”
“Look at me, sweetheart.” He waited patiently for her to raise her head and scrub her hands over her face, streaked with heat from her emotions. Her sage green eyes were fractured with the glass of her tears. She tried to blink them away. “Have you ever done anything we did last night with anyone else?”
“I’ve had sex before … just not a few of those other things.”
“But you understand that I did not do any of that because of what you write?”
She nodded and held his eyes with her own.
“Do you wish I hadn’t done any of that?”
This time she shook her head, still incapable of words.
“Did it feel good? Was it satisfying? Did you feel that we were sharing something very special between us?”
“Yes,” her voice took on the shaky tune of a dirge.
“Then that is all that matters, Arley. If you found it fulfilling and I found it fulfilling and it brought us closer together, that’s precisely what sex is supposed to do, honey. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about it. No one else will even know about it because like I said, I sure as hell don’t share. It’s okay to cry, baby. I’m right here. Just listen to what I’m saying. There are people in this world that are so miserable in their own lives they can’t stand for anyone else to accomplish their own dreams or to create a life that makes them happy. When they realize that they can’t crush your dreams so you’re as miserable as they are, they decide to assassinate your character instead. And I don’t think your ex is the first person that’s done that to you. I think your family has been playing that shit-game for a long time. I’d venture to say that you’ve had friends that have done the same. They were a lot less friendly when you had books sitting on the shelves of local bookstores. You don’t have to stand up to them alone, Arley. Please, let me help you.”
“Thank you.” She barely managed th
e words before she broke down in heaving, convulsive sobs. It had simply been too much for far too long. The night before he’d tapped into something she’d always kept hidden away, and the terrorizing fear of what the morning light would bring had robbed her of the fight she’d used to go on as long as she had. She’d placed her fragile heart in his hands and was terrified he was going to let it shatter.
He finally managed to convince her that he would never tell anyone about what they’d shared. “Come back to bed with me, sweetheart.” She nodded and followed him into the kitchen. He fixed them each a second cup of coffee and guided her back to her suite. They laid in bed, cuddling and sipping coffee. When the feeling of complete contentment started to frighten him, John kept her head tucked to his chest and began reading her latest novel. He’d always been able to distract himself with her father’s books, and somehow he knew hers would be even better. Still tired from her late night writing binge and her slight emotional breakdown, she dozed in his arms as he read.
Damn, the girl can write. The characters drew him into their world from the first page. She was astounding. His body responded heatedly to the first love scene and he commanded himself not to wake her up and beg her to tend his painfully erect cock by the second. He’d made it half way through the lengthy book by the time she awoke again a few hours later.
She wrinkled her nose and sighed when she saw how he’d spent his time. “It sucks, right?”
“Arley, no! This is amazing! Honestly, honey, I think you’re better than your dad. This is incredible.”
“You’re such a liar.” She huffed and crawled out of the bed, much to his chagrin.
“I’m not lying to you, and I would never lie to you.”
She couldn’t hide her delighted grin. “Thank you.” She leaned and brushed her lips across his. He tossed the book aside and extended the kiss.
While she was in the shower, he phoned Thomas, the friend of his that was partnered with a law firm in Tuscaloosa. He explained the issues surrounding Dylan Copeland’s will and Arley’s inheritance. Thomas agreed to make the arrangements to move the hearing to Birmingham immediately.
He called back as John and Arley were spreading a beach towel under an umbrella and preparing to spend the afternoon basking in each other to the sound of the softly crashing waves and the cries of gulls on Gypsy Beach. John listened intently. He grimaced. Thomas had taken the urgency of the situation to heart. “No, that’s fine. We’ll make it work. I appreciate your help.” He ended the call and tossed his cell back in her beach bag.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, baby doll. The probate court in Birmingham had an opening in their docket. They’re setting your hearing for next Wednesday. I should be getting a calendar call in a few days, but that’s gonna cut your vacation short.”
“Oh,” Arley felt the terrorizing fear she’d barely managed to keep at bay return with a vengeance. She didn’t give a damn about her father’s will or the hearing. She just didn’t want to lose any time with John. Did that mean that she was supposed to go back to Birmingham and back to a life that she didn’t even want anymore and just wait on him to show up for her hearing? Did he want this to end that quickly?
“Hey.” John’s concerned frown made her double down her efforts to look unaffected by that bit of information. He appeared to be searching for something to help her. He was always looking for ways to make her smile. It was the sweetest thing she’d ever experienced.
She never wanted to be without him. He just made everything so much better. He understood her. He’d even read patiently on the bed, after lunch, when she’d had another flood of ideas for her new manuscript. He hadn’t asked her to read it to him or even to explain it. He understood that she wasn’t ready to share it yet. All he’d done was raved about the book he was reading. He seemed to be able to locate her very soul in the words she’d written. He pointed out things about the characters that she hadn’t even realized. It was astounding.
“Your family will be notified about the trial either this evening or tomorrow morning, sweetheart. I don’t want you going home and dealing with that all alone. Why don’t we leave here this weekend? You can stay in Atlanta with me until we head back to Birmingham, and if you want, I’ll stay with you until next weekend. That sound okay? We can work a little on how to get your rights back after I secure your inheritance.”
It sounded far better than okay. It sounded heavenly. If only she could somehow come up with enough legal trouble to keep him from ever leaving her again. “Yeah, that would be great. If you’re sure you don’t mind me hanging out in your condo.”
Reaching, he lifted her chin with his fingertips. “I sure as hell don’t mind. I want you there, okay, baby doll?”
His assurances washed over her like a healing balm. She’d never felt so weak. She’d had to be strong her entire life. She’d been there for her sisters when her mother was in hysterics over one ridiculous thing after the next, often taking to the bed for weeks to punish whomever had offended her. Arley had stepped up and helped so her father could work. She’d been there for her dad throughout his illness that both of them knew he wouldn’t recover from. She’d fought tooth and nail to climb the impossible ranks of Amazon, Goodreads, and booksellers all over the US. She hadn’t made it to the big lists yet, but she was determined. Nothing frightened her, and nothing stood in her way. Nothing but the thought that at some point John was going to walk away, leaving her in irreparable remains from which she may never recover.
She tried to shake off the impending doom. If she became a clingy sap, he’d run away screaming. She had to snap out of this. This wasn’t her, anyway. Besides, he did ask her to stay with him in Atlanta, and he was taking her to Birmingham. They still hadn’t come up with a plan to get her rights back. The ending didn’t have to be anytime soon.
Settling on the towel beside him, she propped up on her elbows and brushed a kiss on his jawline. He arched his eyebrow at her and gave her another hungry gaze. “Every time you kiss me, I just want so much more.”
With a mischievous smirk, she let that information soothe her as well. “Be patient, Mr. Rowan,” she teased as she settled her head on top of her folded arms.
He reached and squeezed a handful of her ample ass right in front of the small crowd of tourists surrounding them. “I don’t do patient, sweet cheeks. You know that.”
John glanced up from the novel of Arley’s he was still enthralled by. The soft sea breeze carried her scent to his nostrils. The warmth of the sun pinked her pale skin. The rhythmic roll of the waves provided the perfect tranquility he’d been looking for, hoping to let her really relax.
A half hour later, John could see a few tiny freckles appearing on her shoulders and cheeks, but it was her sweet grin that had beckoned him. “I’m hoping you’re grinning like that because you’re thinking about me, or maybe us in bed last night, but in case that’s not it, tell me.”
She turned and her smile broadened. “I can’t tell you that.”
“Why?”
“Because you’ll think I’m insane.”
“I already think that since you’ve agreed to hang out with me for the next few weeks, so just tell me.” He winked at her.
She gifted him with one of her sweet giggles. “Okay, but promise you won’t think I’m crazy.”
“What if I like your crazy, baby?”
For the first time in her entire life, Arley felt that moment of absolute joy, that sensation that her soul was flying … when she wasn’t writing. She hadn’t believed until that moment that anything else could make her feel so complete. Her heart leapt into a cadence of happy delirium. “Okay, well, I’m always making up back stories for people that I see, especially if I’ve been writing. See those people over there with the little baby?” She discreetly gestured her head towards a couple down the beach sitting on a blanket. Their little girl was just managing to hold herself up in a seated position. Her parents appeared ecstatic. John had noted them earlier.
“Well, before the celebrations over the kid sitting up, the husband was staring at the wife. He misses her. I’m sure she’s probably exhausted with the baby, but he really wants her. So, I was imagining that tonight the little girl actually lets them have a little alone time together. The way it happens in my head is that he pulls her into his arms and tells her how much he’s missed her. Then they go to bed and he shows her how much he’s missed her.”
“Does everyone always have a happy ending in your stories, sweetheart?” He tried for just a moment to see life through her eyes. It was incredibly refreshing. Truthfully, he’d noticed the husband’s longing eyes a few minutes before. All his mind had offered him was the inevitable conclusion that instead of manning up and helping out with the kid he obviously helped create, he got impatient, cheated on his wife, she filed for divorce, and everyone ended up miserable. It seemed inescapable. That was the way the whole fucked up world worked.
“I think that’s why I love to write romance. I love the happy endings.” She sighed.
John nodded and offered her a sympathetic smile. Yeah, baby, but this is life not one of your books.
By Wednesday, three other couples had booked the Inn for a last minute getaway. John had happily given up his room and moved into Arley’s suite. He loved spending every moment with her, though he’d ordered himself to give her space to write.
He loved that she seemed to understand and even share his need for quiet. The world was too damn loud. Arley rarely spoke unless what she said was somehow more beautiful than the silence. When she spoke, they had in-depth conversations. Deep and meaningful—never the drone of those that needed to create their own background noise because they found silence deafening.