“You tell them all your husband’s name was John Rasnake, but a set from down in South Carolina, that’s why your name hasn’t changed. And he died in a car accident, that’s good yes, then we won’t get tied up in Army pensions and stuff. So he died in a car accident and left you all alone, now you’ve come back to your Momma. I know a doctor you can go to as well. But you hear me now girl, I ain’t no babysitter; I’m not making it clothes or buying it presents. This ain’t my baby, it’s yours, and it’s going to stay that way. No running off and leaving me here with it, you hear?” Sophia ended with a pointed finger and glaring eyes, poking Anne in the middle of her chest.
“Yes, Momma.” The only words she’s spoken to her mother since her mother opened the door. As if she’d ever leave her helpless child with this short, grey-haired, abusive, hate-filled old biddy, Anne thought to herself. I’ll never leave my child with her; I don’t care what I have to do to take care of the poor helpless child I’ll never expose it to my mother’s venom.
Chapter Two
A few days later Anne walked into the doctor’s office her mother had sent her to with her mother’s reprimands still ringing in her ears.
“Don’t tell them you aren’t married. Imagine acting like some slut just because you ran off to the city. And don’t be eyeing up any man on your way either, I don’t want no lay about good for nothing man dirtying up my house.” Sophia had said as Anne left the house quietly, her head bowed in shame.
Anne wiggled the slim gold band her mother had insisted she wear from now on as she looked at the two other women sitting in the waiting area. The one sitting on the sofa was a pretty, brown-haired young woman. She looked up bashfully at Anne, her long straight curtain of light-brown hair acting as a shield for the woman and her shy smile. The other woman had blonde hair and looked to be older than both Anne and the older woman, and she gave Anne a polite but distant smile. Worry seemed to haunt both women, their eyes unable to hide a tightness the women probably weren’t even aware of.
Anne returned their smiles and walked to the receptionist, writing her name on the paper as directed before taking one of the chairs left available. Anne looked around the office, wondering how long she was going to have to wait. Anne glanced surreptitiously at the women in the waiting area with her. Both were obviously pregnant, the brown-haired one kept rubbing at her barely showing bump while the other one seemed relaxed and kept pulling her coat closed, as if to protect the baby from the gazes of outsiders.
Anne felt like she should say something to the women, they were all sitting there nervously awaiting their turns with the doctor, being polite and quiet. She’d only had her mother to talk to over the last few days and she wanted to hear some cheerful news. There was only one thing she could think of to say in the situation.
“When are you due?” She said with a bright smile, including both women in her gaze.
Anne saw that her words made the ladies uncomfortable for a moment but then, as if twins, the two ladies relaxed and smiled back at Anne.
“In six months, this is my third pregnancy. I’m Joan by the way.” The brown-haired woman said with another shy smile.
Anne thought she must have been much further along than that but she didn’t know much about pregnant women. Anne noted, also, that the woman had specifically said pregnancy, not child or time or baby, but pregnancy. Anne’s gaze saddened for a moment and she was going to speak but the other woman spoke first.
“I’m Meg, I’m also due in six months and this is my tenth child.” The pretty but tired looking woman said with pride mixing with something that Anne interpreted as embarrassment.
“Tenth? Oh my, this is my first! Oh, right, my name is Anne and I guess we’re all due around the same time then, how wonderful.” Anne felt a connection to the ladies, their babies all due around the same time, and smiled with pleasure. It was nice to speak to other women who weren’t condemning her.
“How did you hear about Doctor Nelson?” Joan asked. Joan had grown up in Louisa Falls but couldn’t remember Anne so she assumed Anne was new to the town.
“My mother told me about him. I grew up here but moved away a couple of years ago. Then my husband passed away and well, here I am.” Anne said, feeling a moment of guilt over the lie but knowing it needed to be told.
“I’m so sorry to hear that, and in your condition. You poor thing!” Meg responded first, her hand coming out to pat Anne’s comfortingly.
Anne smiled back weakly, hoping her guilt didn’t show through. “It was quick, a car accident. But I have my baby to look forward to and John was such a good man, I have a lifetime of memories to keep me going.”
“Oh, tell us about him.” Joan implored, leaning towards Anne with excitement.
Anne had soon woven a tale of a man who was a knight in shining armor, perfect in every way, and handsome to boot. This was the first time she told the tale and she hadn’t worked out all of the details yet but she tried to remember the lies she told for telling later. By the time Meg’s name was called the women were sighing over just how wonderful the fictitious dead father of Anne’s child was.
The task was surprisingly easy, Anne thought as Meg walked into the back of the office, sending a reassuring look to Joan before she left. Anne had simply taken Jim and reversed everything he’d done or said to Anne. She wiped at her eyes and put on a brave smile as Joan moved closer to her and the pair sat talking about their husbands.
“My husband took on odd jobs to pay for this doctor. He’s supposed to be very good, you know?” Joan paused for a moment before continuing. “I’ve lost two already, both stillborn, and Doctor Nelson has a very good reputation so we decided to come to him this time. Scott, my husband, is a very good man and I appreciate him so much. From the sounds of it your John was much the same.”
“Indeed he was. He was my rock and I miss him sorely.” Anne said to Joan the lie almost feeling like the truth as she wished she’d met a man such as John rather than Jim.
“And what’s Meg’s story then, do you know her?” Anne shifted as she spoke, her curiosity piqued.
“I guess you won’t have met the preacher and his wife then, they’ve only been here a year now but Meg is my best friend in the whole world. Meg is Reverend Robert Skagg’s wife, Bobby replaced the old pastor when he went into that nursing home in Asheville. He’s obviously living the Word.” Joan said with a note of awe for the reverend.
“Ten children are quite a few, I must say. I don’t know if I could handle two, much less ten.” Anne threw out, not thinking of who she was talking to.
“I’d just be happy with one healthy, living one. It’s been so hard on us, but we hope and pray that this one will be our little miracle.” Joan said, patting her belly again.
Anne felt horrible for Joan and smiled over at her in sympathy. “I hope so too, and I’ll pray for you.”
“Thank you, that’s mighty kind of you.” Joan responded with charm, her smile brightening as Meg came out and the nurse called Joan’s name.
“I hope everything goes well, Joan, it was nice to meet you.” Anne said, wondering how she’d never met the sweet, gentle woman before. Apparently there was two years difference in their ages but still, it was a small town.
Meg stopped as she came to Anne, finished with the receptionist, and gave Anne a card. The church’s name was printed on it with the address and phone number.
“I know this is your first so if you need any help or advice feel free to call me. And of course, you can always stop by the church any time. I hope to see you Sunday.”
Anne appreciated Meg’s offer and took the card with a thank you. “I’m sure I’ll be there Sunday, if I’m not mistaken my mother attends your church. Well, she used to anyway. I’ll see you then.”
“Good, I hope everything goes well for you, Anne. See you soon.” Meg pushed through the door and left Anne alone in the waiting area.
Now, with nobody to distract her, the coming visit with the doctor weighed on her mind
. She didn’t have long to wait, though, and she said her goodbyes to Joan as the nurse called her name. The efficient woman dressed in all whites took Anne’s weight, height, and blood pressure before leading her to a room with an exam table and two chairs.
The nurse seemed brusque and somehow unkind to Anne. The woman hadn’t cared a whit that the blood pressure cuff had been on so tight the contraption had left marks on Anne’s skin. Anne rubbed at the marks as she walked into the exam room. She settled on the chair and didn’t have to wait long before the doctor came in.
“Hello Mrs. Rasnake, I’m Doctor James Nelson, and I understand you’re expecting?” The man said, walking into the room after knocking, the nurse close behind him.
“Yes, the doctor I saw last thought I must be about three months along.” She informed the man while he looked at the notes the nurse had written.
Anne did as she was told throughout the exam, nervous about the doctor seeing her naked lady parts but knew that was his job. Visiting a baby doctor was something new for her generation, most women still just visited general practitioners in rural areas like she lived in, but her mother had all but insisted she come here so she had to appease her.
The thoughts distracted her as the doctor looked her over and then wrote some notes. Then he started to ask questions such as the father’s age, occupation, and health history. Anne made up what she had to, hoping she remembered the lies later, and started to grow uncomfortable as the doctor started asking questions about the father’s mental health and how Anne planned to care for the baby.
“What do you mean how do I plan to care for the baby?” Anne asked, looking at the doctor more closely than she had before.
Doctor Nelson was probably in his late 40s, a little paunchy but charming in a way that reminded her a little of Jim. Anne wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.
“Oh, it’s just a normal question we ask new mothers now. In your case you’ll obviously be alone and that can be quite difficult. We like to know if there’s going to be any problems later, both medically and financially so we can prepare for those circumstances. We consider the mother and child’s overall wellbeing here and discuss alternatives if need be.” The doctor said with a smile that was meant to put Anne at ease but somehow didn’t.
“I’ll be fine doctor, never fear. My baby will have everything it needs, one way or another.” Anne said with some force, wanting the man to understand.
Anne could be very timid but her child was sparking a backbone in her, something she had never felt before. The feeling was fierce protectiveness and it stunned Anne to feel it so deeply. She put her hand over her stomach, already a habit now, and told herself to calm down.
“Good, I’m happy to hear that Mrs. Rasnake. Now, I’ll need to see you again in a few weeks, you’re progressing just fine, no worries at all. And if you have any questions or concerns please don’t hesitate to call on us. Maintain your diet and get regular exercise if you can and all should go fine. It’s been lovely to care for you, Mrs. Rasnake, do you have any questions now?” Doctor Nelson asked, standing over Anne, as the nurse came at her with a tray.
The woman wrapped a tight band around Anne’s arm and shoved a needle into her arm, missing her mark the first time. Stabbing at Anne’s arm again the nurse clearly grew frustrated as the vein was missed once more. Anne was trying not to cry out at the pain and was about to tell the woman to stop when the nurse finally stabbed her once more, the needle sliding smoothly into Anne’s vein. The woman looked up in triumph as she drew Anne’s blood and Anne saw a flash of something more there, a taunting that dared Anne to protest.
Anne did not like this place and did not like the people but her mother had insisted and she liked the other ladies she had met. She didn’t want to come back but knew she was going to have to if she wanted to keep her mother quiet. She looked up at the smiling doctor and realized she still hadn’t answered his question.
“No, I don’t have any questions doctor, thank you.” Anne said as the nurse grabbed her arm, putting more pressure than necessary on her wound to stop the flow of blood before jabbing another needle into the top of her arm without explanation.
“What was that?” Anne yelped, surprised.
“Just a vitamin.” The nurse said, slapping some gauze and tape over the area. “Go home now.”
Anne winced and walked out of the exam room, feeling a tingle of fear and anger at her treatment. Anne paid at the reception desk, hoping her savings from her pay and the extra money Jim had occasionally insisted she take along with the money he had thrown at her would tide her over for a long time. She’d have to be frugal but she thought it could be done. Anne then drove home quickly hoping it would keep her mother from making inane accusations, only stopping to pick up some food for dinner on her way. Anne hoped her mother was in a good mood today. She didn’t think she could take much more today.
“Oh, that’s how nurses and doctors treat all of their patients girl, stop whining. Obviously you aren’t too good in the decision making department or you’d be where he is now instead of where you are. Stop judging him and do as he tells you to. He’s the doctor; he knows what’s best for you.”
“But, Momma, he acted like he wanted to take my baby!” Anne protested as she prepared the meal she’d brought home with her. “He kept asking me about how I planned to care for it, like I wasn’t going to be able to provide for my child.”
“Any why shouldn’t he? Girl, that man is a good doctor and he is doing well by you. If he knew the truth he’d probably throw you out on your ear. So do as I tell you, keep your mouth shut and do as he says.” Sophie pointed at her threateningly with a wooden spoon as she mixed cornbread up, that mean look back in her eyes.
Anne quickly ducked her head and went back to frying pork chops. Obviously her mother was still more concerned with bending Anne to her will than being a mother to her. Anne shut her mouth and said nothing more about her concerns.
As she sat down to her meal, however, a thought occurred to her. She could ask the reverend’s wife about the doctor on Sunday and see what she thought of him. Anne knew most of her friends had moved away and she didn’t have any left around here really any more so her options were limited.
“Girl, stop worrying over that doctor and eat your food, your baby needs it.” Sophia said, slapping at the table.
Anne finished her dinner and went to bed, wondering why she was so paranoid. Maybe it was pregnancy hormones or something? Hadn’t she read that in a women’s magazine, that women sometimes went crazy during pregnancy? And what was that shot about? Paranoid or not Anne cradled her tummy throughout the night, keeping the world away from it.
Chapter Three
Anne regularly returned to the doctor over the next five months, always seeing Meg and Joan there. The women had become friends and Anne often saw them outside of the church and the doctor’s office. Anne was doing some volunteering at the church’s office, as she could, which pleased her mother, and pleased Anne because it got her out of the house while keeping her secretarial skills sharp.
The shots continued, one every week, and Anne’s suspicions were steadily growing. Something was off about that doctor, she just wasn’t sure what. Her mother insisted, like the magazine, that she was just being paranoid but Anne knew something wasn’t right.
Anne had learned that both of her friends were also getting the shots and they both couldn’t stand the nurse but didn’t think there was anything suspicious about the doctor. Apparently Joan and Meg both had felt the sting of Nurse Pracket’s needles. That didn’t please Anne but she at least knew she wasn’t alone.
“Where are you Anne?” Sophia called through the screen door.
“I’m out here on the porch, Momma, do you need me?” Anne asked, putting down the mail order catalogue she’d been looking through.
“Best to put that catalogue in the fire, girl. We can’t afford nothing out of it no how.” Sophia said, handing Anne a bowl of potatoes and a knife. “
Here peel these so we can make some mashed potato cakes with them. Might be all we have to eat this week.”
Anne knew she still had a good wedge of money left in the bank but she wasn’t spending it all on her mother and fripperies. She was trying to save it to get her start in Charlotte once her baby was born. She’d go out and get some groceries though, just to keep her mother quiet.
“I’ll get some groceries later. What do you know about Doctor Nelson, Momma? How did you know about him anyway?” Anne asked Sophia once more.
“My friend Mary-Lou’s daughter went to him. He was very good with her, even though Mary-Lou’s baby was stillborn. He took real good care of her.” Sophia said, dismissing the subject from her mind and walking back into the house.
Anne thought there sure were a lot of stillborn babies in this town but knew that poverty was endemic in the area. Poverty bred unhealthy adults which led to unhealthy mothers who couldn’t birth live babies. Still, it didn’t seem right.
“I’m going to head into town, Momma, and get some groceries; I’ll peel these potatoes when I get back." Anne picked up her purse and keys and headed out of the door.
Once she got into town she went over to the library but couldn’t find any information about the doctor there, no newspaper reports or anything. She didn’t know where he’d come from, nobody seemed to know anything about him when she asked, and all anybody could tell her was he lived in a really nice house up in one of the quieter parts of the area.
Anne soon gave up and packed the groceries away in her car before heading home. Driving was getting far too difficult as her belly expanded and the baby seemed to be playing kickball with all of her organs today. At least she knew her baby was alive and healthy in there, Anne thought as she drove home.
Thriller: Emily Page 11