“Good morning, Kenzie. Why didn’t you wake me up before you left?”
MacKenzie raised her eyebrow mockingly. “I bet you never ask that question the morning after. You have no reason to treat me any differently than your other…whatever they are.”
She started skating again, moving fast, and making dizzying circles.
Diesel stood and skated out to her, catching her as she passed and pulling her to him. “Did I take you without a condom, Kenzie?”
The abruptness of her stop and the question had her blushing hot. “Yes, but its fine. I’m on the pill if that’s what you’re worried about. I’m sure you’re normally careful but if I need to get tested or something, let me know. I think you can feel pretty confident that I’m not carrying anything.”
She yanked her arm and he released her. She skated backwards away from him and he felt the insane urge to chase her, take her, and possess her.
As she moved, so did Diesel. He mirrored her until she grew frustrated. “What do you want, Diesel? You got what you wanted even if it wasn’t under conditions you would have liked. I’m not going all clingy and desperate, not asking you for anything, so what is it?”
“I have no idea,” he said honestly. She skated to a stop and came toward him. Going on tiptoe, she pulled his head down for a kiss and everything about her mowed him down from the inside out. What was it about this woman?
She broke the kiss and said against his lips, “Diesel, you have a great future in front of you. Go enjoy it and don’t worry about me. I expect nothing from you. I knew what I was doing when I told you to take me home with you. I have no regrets. Not a single one.”
The feel of her fingers in his hair made him want to beg but he didn’t know for what and he didn’t want her to think he was weak.
“I knew you’d make my first time memorable and you did. You expected to use me, Diesel. You figured we’d play until you left and when I didn’t give in easily, it made you want me more…but your reasons didn’t change. You wanted my body…not my heart or my mind…and my body is exactly what you got.”
Her smile was sincere though a little sad. “I hope one day you see the fairness in the fact that I used you a little, too.” She kissed him again and went to remove her skates.
He followed and stopped a few feet away, his hands on his hips. “Will I see you again before I leave tomorrow, MacKenzie?”
She looked up and smiled. It didn’t reach her eyes. “Sure, you can dance with me tonight if you want. Then I’ll wish you luck and tell you goodbye.” Kenzie stood in her boots and smoothed her hand over the flannel shirt that covered his chest. Then she leaned in and kissed him over his heart.
“Thank you again. I appreciate how you treated me more than you can understand as a man. I wouldn’t have trusted anyone else.” She stroked his cheek then walked quickly to her truck.
He felt confused and twisted up inside as he watched her drive away.
Later, he watched Kenzie in the bar, waiting for the right moment to dance with her. He was crossing to her when Stupid Boy started to play and he thought that for some reason, in this situation, it was a fitting song.
She put down her tray and let Diesel lead her to the dance floor. He gathered her close as they moved together, his arms holding her tighter than necessary but he couldn’t make himself loosen them.
At one point, she sighed and he lifted her chin to see her face. Not understanding what he saw there, he kissed her gently.
When the song ended, they stopped in the middle of the dance floor.
She put her hands on either side of his face and whispered, “You’re a good man, Diesel. Make sure you remember that when you’re a famous hockey player. Be happy. Be safe.” She lifted and gave him one more kiss. “Goodbye, Diesel.”
She stepped away and he let her go, fighting instincts he didn’t know how to interpret…and didn’t know if he wanted to. Kenzie was gorgeous and smart – sex with her had been the best of his life – but they were young and he had too many plans to let himself be derailed by a girl from his hometown.
He watched her wave to Bob as she ducked down the hall to the employee parking lot out back.
Diesel wanted to go after her.
He didn’t.
Chapter Five
Present day…
MacKenzie watched, riveted, when Diesel’s team took the NCAA Conference Championship his senior year of college, screaming and cheering for him with Thad by her side. She’d bought the DVD of Wisconsin’s season and watched it sometimes when she felt like touring memory lane.
She’d worn Badger colors proudly even after they moved to Boston. He’d been drafted by the Devils and she’d followed his career; happy his dreams were coming true.
Thadias scored so high on his SATs he’d gotten into Harvard and she moved with him to Cambridge. He made it clear it was the only way he was going. There was no way he was leaving her alone in their hometown. He told Kenzie that if she really wanted him to get the best education possible, she’d better pack.
She was incredibly proud of him.
She worked at a local sports bar three nights a week and went to night school the other four to earn her degree in education. Kenzie pulled in enough tips to pay for their living expenses while Thadias attended classes.
She didn’t want him to work – not with his class load. The fact that he was home at night while she worked and went to school was more than she had any right to ask of a young man who should have been having the time of his life, not worrying about his older sister.
Thad disagreed with her need to do everything alone. It was the only thing they fought over.
When she came down with pneumonia, he insisted she call Diesel but she wouldn’t, she couldn’t. She fought her way through it and afterward, she knew it had been the right decision.
Two months after the night they’d spent together, Kenzie could no longer pretend she wasn’t pregnant. She hid it for another two months until the baby moved the first time. There was no denying the situation then.
She talked to Thadias first and had to beg him not to call the LeBlancs. There was no doubt he’d been worried. She was pregnant and scared, though she wouldn’t admit it to anyone, not even herself. He’d already gotten his acceptance to Harvard and they figured out a game plan together.
Next, Kenzie sat with Bob Zeller and swore him to secrecy. He put her to work in his back office and helped her find a place to live in Boston. They moved in the early summer because it was getting harder and harder to hide the fact she was carrying Diesel LeBlanc’s baby.
Over that summer and fall, she continued to handle everything for her parents’ place remotely, taking a small salary until she had the baby and went back to work.
As soon as she was fully on her feet, she hired a manager to take over the running of the place and then severed all connection with them. The sad part was that they likely didn’t even notice.
None of her siblings maintained ties to their parents. In fact, the only person they spoke to from back home was Bob, who called twice a week and had been out to visit several times.
Throughout the years they’d lived in that town, none of the Rhodes had friends outside of one another. Their family was too much on the fringe, too talked about for anyone their age to take a chance at being in the center of the gossip – both real and imagined – that surrounded them.
It wasn’t hard to leave North Dakota. It had been even easier to stay away.
Thadias and Bob thought her continued silence was a mistake but she felt it was the right thing to do. When she saw photo after photo of Diesel with a new bombshell on his arm, she knew she’d made the right choice to let him have his life while she maintained her own.
He’d worked hard for his success and he deserved to enjoy it. She had no intentions of ruining it for him but she didn’t want to be too close to it either. She had limits.
Diesel had never once attempted to contact her after he’d returned to school. That
alone had proven her point. She was nothing more than another woman in a long list who’d been one-night-stands. She’d known that before she broke down on the side of the road that long-ago night.
She accepted the consequences of her decision for Diesel to be her first and didn’t have a single regret.
She knew her family thought she was being a doormat. They didn’t understand her reasons and she’d grown tired of trying to explain them.
MacKenzie knew firsthand what it was like to have your dreams taken from you.
She wasn’t going to do that to anyone – especially not the father of her son. One day, far in the future, she’d contact him for Dalton’s sake. Until then, distance and secrecy was the best option.
Nothing either man said could convince her otherwise.
Dalton was the spitting image of his father. Tall for his age, black hair, and blue eyes. He was gorgeous. He’d turned three a few months ago and she worked with him during the day just as she had with her brother and sisters when they were kids.
He was already able to write his ABCs and was on his way to being able to read without her help. One of his favorite things to do was hug and Kenzie welcomed as many of them as he felt like sharing. He ate constantly and had a huge laugh.
Thadias was his favorite person to hang with and they kept one another company at night while she worked and went to school. Dalton had gotten so sweet about letting her catch a little sleep. He was a very good little boy and no matter the circumstances, she was grateful for him.
Despite occasional struggles, Kenzie’s life was much easier than it was when she’d lived at home. She was in control of her destiny now and she was moving in the right direction.
Her siblings were good to her and visited often. Her brother dated regularly but was glad to step in as a surrogate dad to his nephew.
She worked hard, studied harder, and tried to be the best mom she could be. That would have to be enough because she couldn’t afford daydreams or happily-ever-after. Those things weren’t made for people like her but she’d make sure her son had them.
Every Sunday, she had all day off before she went to work at night. That was their skating day. They’d spend all day on the outdoor rinks and have hot chocolate when they got cold. Her Devil’s sweatshirt usually earned her a few dirty looks and she’d just smile.
MacKenzie and Dalton came back from skating with red cheeks and laughing eyes. She drew up short when Thadias turned to face her. He was standing in front of the television. She knew from the look on his face that something big had happened.
“He’s been traded to the Bruins, Kenzie.”
“I like hockey, Mommy,” Dalton told her firmly.
“I know you do, baby.” She took him to games when she could and he found it fascinating. To her brother, she said quietly, “That’s impossible. He has a four-year contract with the Devils, Thad.”
“They traded their gold mine for two key positions they’ve been shopping for. The deal for him is outrageous. He just did a press conference in his new Bruins jersey.” Thad rewound the footage and replayed the news story.
He looks so good.
MacKenzie sat down hard on the sofa, her mind spinning.
“Who dat, Mommy?” Dalton asked her bluntly.
Oh, god…
“That’s an old friend of Mommy’s. His name is Diesel LeBlanc.”
“He plays hockey?” At her nod he said, “I like hockey. Maybe he’d play wit’ me?”
Just like that, her mind exploded with possibilities. Father and son practicing on an outdoor rink. Diesel being in their lives. There was no doubt he’d be a good father if given the chance but she knew she would never be part of the deal.
What the hell was happening?
MacKenzie got up and busied herself cleaning. The place was practically sterile by the time she had to go shower and get ready for work. She came out to say goodbye to the only two men in her life. Her brother and her son…pathetic.
“Kenzie…you should think about it.” Thadias was staring at her intently.
She shook her head. There was no way she could handle Diesel being so close. No way should she be thinking any of the ridiculous thoughts she had in her head.
She wasn’t a child and this wasn’t a fairytale.
“I left lasagna and salad in the fridge for dinner. Reheat and eat. Dalton, no sweets and no drinks after Uncle Thad tells you bedtime, okay? Be good and I love you.”
She bent to kiss his soft hair and he grabbed her for a big hug. She took it greedily and there were tears in her eyes when she set him back on the couch. She ruffled Thad’s hair and blew him a kiss on her way out the door.
The bar was packed and everyone was talking about the Bruins’ chances for the Stanley Cup this year now that they’d gotten LeBlanc.
MacKenzie was ready to crawl out of her own skin. Diesel’s name was on the lips of every patron, co-worker, and supplier.
On her break, she called Thad and got a report on Dalton. He was already out cold. “He had two huge servings of lasagna, Kenzie. That boy is either going to weigh five-hundred pounds or become one beast of an athlete. Either way, our groceries are going faster and faster.”
She laughed and told him even he had eaten them out of house and home as a growing boy. They talked for a few more minutes and she went back inside.
Tips were excellent because everyone seemed like they were in a great mood. The owner put her behind the bar since she was the fastest at hooking up the floor servers with their table orders. She’d filled three dozen pitchers with beer, made countless hard liquor drinks, and mixed four batches of margaritas for a table in the back having a bachelorette party.
She exhaled roughly as she stepped back out on the floor. After she checked her tables, she turned toward the bar. Suddenly her hand was grabbed and she was spun around.
“MacKenzie? Kenzie? What are you doing here?”
Holy shit…
Diesel stared down at her, shock clearly written all over his face. How he managed to look even better in person than he did on television, she couldn’t imagine.
Her lips parted to murmur some sort of hello when the bar went crazy. Someone recognized him and his Bruins teammates, screaming, “LeBlanc!” He was swarmed for autographs and photos.
She took the chance to slip away.
Chapter Six
Ohmygod…ohmygod…ohmygod. Now what?
MacKenzie worked her ass off as the bar filled beyond capacity. News spread in the neighborhood that three of the Bruins were in the building.
She’d never felt so simultaneously relieved and devastated when the players left. She cashed out and grabbed her Devils jacket, shrugging it on as she headed to her truck.
Busy looking for her keys, she ran right into a brick wall wearing a Bruins jersey.
“Nice jacket, Kenzie.” She glanced up and smiled warily at Diesel.
“Yeah, I knew one of the players once. He’s really good.” She found her keys and stepped past him to the driver’s side door, unlocked it, and threw her backpack inside.
He turned her to him by her shoulders. The movement was gentle but insistent. “Kenzie, what the hell are you doing in Boston? How long have you been here?”
“Almost four years. Thadias got into Harvard.” She was ready to pass out from stress and she knew her heart rate was through the roof. What was she supposed to say? Never had she expected to meet him like this. She didn’t know how to handle it.
“Harvard? Holy shit, good for Thad. You decided to cut and run, huh? I’m glad for you.” He squeezed her shoulders once and let her go. “You look…really great, MacKenzie.”
“Thanks. So do you, Diesel.” Kenzie’s voice was hoarse and she almost dodged past him and tore away in her vehicle. She cleared her throat carefully. “Congratulations on the trade. Your career is going great. I knew it would.” She glanced around the parking lot. “Well, listen, I have to get home. It was really great to see you.”
“
Husband?” She laughed loudly before she could catch herself. “Boyfriend? Significant other?” She shook her head. “Interesting. I find myself faced with a gorgeous, seemingly unattached MacKenzie Rhodes and lots of bad thoughts.”
“I’m sure you do, Diesel but I’m tired, and I have an early day tomorrow. The appearance of three Bruins in the bar pushed me beyond my endurance for people and serving drinks with a smile.”
“Then come grab some food with me. I’m starving.” She laughed, not able to help herself. “I’m always starving, Kenzie. I’m a big guy. Come eat pancakes with me. Catch me up on everything with you.” She meant to say no but nodded her head yes instead. “Excellent, let me drive you.”
“No! I’ll follow you, Diesel.” He quirked a brow at her and she explained. “I can’t be out too late. I won’t be able to function tomorrow. No need for you to backtrack.”
“Alrighty then.” He gave her a wink and ran to his Navigator. A moment later, he was idling in front of her, waiting for her to reverse to follow.
She talked aloud to herself the entire drive. “What are you doing, Kenzie? This is a bad idea. A very bad idea. Tell him something came up. Get out of this.” She didn’t.
When he pulled into a local diner, she parked and got out. He jogged over and tugged her to the entry door with his arm around her shoulders.
The man smells delicious. Even better than she remembered. His hair was shorter but still shaggy. His eyes watched her intently as they waited to be directed to a table.
The older woman who managed the place glanced out of the kitchen with a smile. “Sit anywhere you like and we’ll be right with you. Hey! Aren’t you the new Bruins trade?” Diesel nodded. “You’re bigger in person. I’ll fire up the grill. You look like a double-stack young man.”
His laugh boomed in the empty diner and Kenzie felt her heart flip over in her chest. He glanced down and caught her staring. “Thank you, ma’am.”
Love of the Game - The Complete Collection (Box Set) Page 13