This was probably one of those nights where Alex and Devon hoped their kid slept through the night so they could have some one-on-one time. Dave marveled at how well that seemed to work. Jeff and Devon were partners at work and shared Alex with no apparent jealousy. Odds were they hadn’t known who fathered the baby out of the pair of them until after it was born. He knew he was too possessive, and he could never share Fiona. Not that he’d ever have the opportunity, not even to possess her on his own. He briefly wished he could stop thinking about her, but she permeated his thoughts more frequently of late. It seemed now he was in control of his life, his emotional guard had come down. Maybe it was indeed time to talk with the good doctor in his therapy session tomorrow and find a way to purge Fiona from his thoughts.
Max Brewster came in next and gave him a huge, sunny smile. Dave couldn’t help but smile back and wanted to tousle Max’s hair like he did his kid brothers’ overly long strands. Max belonged to Dr. Massey and had developed into a solid guy. He’d apparently always been one who’d have your back at work, but now he was someone who wouldn’t piss you off by ogling all the women in your life. He had eyes for nobody but his Domme.
“I drew bar duty tonight, Dave. Meredith’s got group, so it all worked out. But I guess you and I get a session together tomorrow night.”
Shit, he’d forgotten about the training session, being so focused on the one alone with Dr. Massey in the late morning in her office. She used Max as her “volunteer” to walk Dave through the variations of his new profession, and then did the same things to him. His ambivalence must have shown on his face because Max gave a little evil laugh that made Dave want to punch him in the face and forget all about how he liked the other man.
“You’re almost done, buddy. And then you get to torture subs.” Max’s smile grew wider as his eyes drifted away on some memory. “I wouldn’t trade places with you for anything, but you have to admit it. My Meredith knows her stuff.”
Dave sighed. Yup, indeed she did, and his asshole wouldn’t be as tender by tomorrow night, although that would change because she’d be sure to plug him again. It indeed served to ensure a Dom treated his sub right. He’d never have appreciated the sub experience unless he’d experienced it himself in training. Power exchange wasn’t for pussies of either sex. “Can’t say I’m looking forward to it, Max, but I’ll get it done.”
“Shit, Dave. I’m gonna miss you. It’s been like having a brother or something.”
“I felt pretty strange being naked with you in that context, Max, I won’t lie. But nothing like being fully immersed in the action. I gotta get to the back. The bar’s prepped. I’ll see you later or tomorrow, depending upon how things go.”
Max smiled widely again and obediently took his place behind the bar as Dave made his way through the green door and into the Club proper.
The room was ready, and ’Stair was set up with a different scene in the next one, also as a monitor. Jackie frowned on her husband touching subs, and Alistair had told Dave just how good his timing had been when he’d turned up on his doorstep. Jackie and Alistair had just connected again, and being in a ménage with Ashley took a lot of his buddy’s attention. Rightfully so. He could step into ’Stair’s role, and his buddy could handle the paperwork, interview people and the like, as well as monitor scenes. He got his control needs met at home, apparently, although Jackie would be back on display here once the baby came, of that Dave was certain. Alistair and Ashley were too proud of their girl not to show her off. Dave had decided to be elsewhere when that happened, just as he’d avoided their play before Jackie became pregnant. They were all a bunch of righteous perverts, but everyone had their boundaries, and his was not seeing his sister dominated and fucked by his best friend and a beautiful redheaded woman with eyes that could slice you into pieces. And who also carried a pistol, incidentally, being a cop.
* * * *
The evening went off without a hitch. Jorge enacted a poignant correction scene with Alysha, who submitted to her man with enviable grace, with Dave as the only witness. He’d even been comfortable with the multitude of welts and marks Jorge had left on Alysha’s back, buttocks, and thighs, seeing how quickly she slipped into subspace and hearing her moans of gratification. He also knew Jorge had taken great care not to leave anything that wouldn’t be gone by morning. Alysha’s job as a model necessitated it. Jorge fucked her from behind once they’d taken her down and stretched her over a perfectly positioned padded bench, and Dave was sucked off in their ritual of sharing. The blow job had been pretty damn good, for Alysha had a sweetly talented mouth and clearly craved the double penetration if her orgasm was anything to go by, but he felt curiously unmoved by the act. The physicality of it was fine. But the woman was wrong. He actually felt a little used, in fact, an altogether novel experience, and thought to share it with Dr. Massey. He’d never be done with therapy at this rate.
Alistair was the last to leave, once he read the countless texts on his phone. Jackie was ever present in his life, not nagging, not bugging, just sharing with him, and after the evening’s arousing events, Alistair visibly calmed and relaxed. Alistair never took his own pleasure at the Club. He absently nodded to Dave and hurried out the door, obviously trusting that Dave would close up and let him get home to his women without further ado. Dave wrote up a list for the cleaning crew and made his rounds before heading back to his lonely bed.
Chapter Three
“So you found yourself in the barn.” Dr. Massey’s calm, neutral comment helped Dave to continue.
“I didn’t even know what town I got drunk in, let alone the bar. I picked a fight with the biggest locals, and it took five of them to beat me down. But not before I fucked, I mean, not before I messed them up good.”
“That was important to you.” Again, no inference, just reflection, but it made Dave think.
“It was important to me at the time. I was looking to punish myself, but I made people work for it. Maybe I secretly didn’t want to die. I don’t know.”
“So you ended up in a barn.” Shit, she’d come back to that. She always came back to the hints that were actually the crux of the matter. Time to man up.
“I guess I walked, or probably stumbled, into the night once I woke up in the alley. I had no idea where I was going, but I just kept walking. I actually walked into the side of the barn and knocked myself on my ass. I crawled around until I found the door and got inside and fell asleep in the straw. It was an empty barn.”
“That’s important?”
“Well, it didn’t smell bad, you know? Like cows or pigs or something.” Dave laughed. “I didn’t want to die in shit.”
Dr. Massey waited, and the silence stretched out until he thought he might snap.
“Next thing I knew this angel was wiping the blood off my face with a wet cloth. I opened my eyes and for sure knew I wasn’t in hell. All I could think of was how beautiful she was and how gentle her hands were.”
Dave abruptly stood. “That’s about it. I guess I’ll see you tonight. You and Max.”
“Your hour isn’t up, Dave. Please sit down.”
Dave felt his backside hit the chair cushion before he made any conscious thought. Damn it, the Domme was in the room with them. He knew he should walk out but somehow understood it was now or never. He had to deal.
“Her name is Fiona, and her folks owned the little farm I’d trespassed on. They took me in, kind Christian folk. And how did I repay them? I lusted after their only daughter, and damn near seduced her. I still don’t know how I didn’t fuck her senseless. And she would have let me do anything I wanted because the silly girl thought she was in love with me.”
“She thought she was in love with you.”
Dave ground his teeth so hard his jaw ached. “What would she know about love? She chose me, for fuck’s sake! A piece of shit, a poor excuse for a man. It was pity, and she confused it for love, and I took advantage of her.”
“And you left.”
�
�Fucking right I left. Before I did her. I packed up in the dead of night like the coward I am and lit out. And came here. That’s it. Are we done?”
“Coward you are?”
“Goddamn it, Meredith! Can you just quit poking? Yes, I’m a coward. I thought I was back to normal Dave, but I’m still a coward. I was never a coward before Afghanistan.” He sucked in air and rubbed his hands over his face, trying to compose himself.
“Just to be clear, you consider yourself a coward…”
He took a deep breath. “I was a good guy before I went over there. And then I wasn’t anymore. I tried to kill myself with excess! And she saw past the shit to who I used to be.
“But I got scared. I thought I’d hurt her in the end. So I chickened out and ran, a coward.”
“So you consider yourself a coward for walking out on someone who loves you?”
“Exactly right.” Dave heard the words and slumped against the truth in them. He was back to himself again, essentially. No one in their right mind would call him a coward. But he owed Fiona and her parents. He needed to make it right. Fiona was misguided, thinking she loved him, and he didn’t want her to waste another minute of her time, hoping for something that would never come to pass.
“I sent a note just so she’d know I was ok, and told her good-bye. But I need to go and see her and her folks and tell them myself. It’ll be hard, but it’s gotta be done because you just don’t walk out on folks who’ve been good to you.”
“And if she still loves you?”
“It isn’t love, but I’ll let her down easy, face-to-face. It’s something I need to do.”
Dr. Massey didn’t respond, just raised one eyebrow ever so slightly. It was unsettling, but Dave made his escape. He just hoped the good doctor didn’t take it out on his ass later.
* * * *
Fiona Lambert stared up at the large brick building and checked the address once again against the return address on the envelope in her hand, although she had it memorized, emblazoned on her brain. This was it. It looked more like a warehouse, but maybe it was like a treatment center or something. Dave had been much better before he snuck out like a thief in the night, but he still had some healing to do. He thought she wasn’t aware of how troubled he was and how that war impacted him, but she knew. Fiona thought he was mending because of what they shared and figured he’d run away because of that very thing. It had scared him. Idiot. She knew he loved her and probably thought to spare her because he was still a mess sometimes. The fool. Fiona believed she knew the man behind the behavior, and she certainly knew her own heart. She’d been devastated to find him gone, and if he hadn’t written when he did, she’d thought she might’ve gone insane with worry and fear. His pathetic note had satisfied her parents but not her. She had finished her secretarial training, so there was nothing stopping her from finding a job in Tulsa. Her first impulse was to track Dave down as soon as she arrived, but with her usual attention to detail, she’d found a small apartment for herself first. She started work at the medical supply company next week, and now that she had a base, she could find him and convince him to come back to her.
Fiona knew that Dave might not be happy that she had moved to Tulsa, nor pleased that she’d found him, if indeed he was still here. He might still be trying to keep her at arm’s length, and he got kind of bossy sometimes. But she couldn’t stay back in Lansdown, not without him, and it was time she left home and made it on her own anyway. At twenty-three she was a veritable spinster in her small town because she didn’t want anyone other than Dave. He thought he knew her, thought she was a sweet, gentle, obedient girl, and indeed she was, for the most part. But Fiona had a will of iron when she believed in something, had a cause, and she didn’t give up easily. She squared her shoulders and walked up the broad steps. She grasped the enormous door knocker, allowing it to crash down on the wooden panels. It sounded like one of those death knells she’d read about. Her superstitious side suggested she flee, but Fiona was made of sterner stuff.
“Yes?” A handsome blond man looked down his nose at her. It would have been effective if he hadn’t seemed to be hiding his lower body behind the door.
“I’m looking for Dave Cutticio. My name is Fiona Lambert.”
Green eyes narrowed and looked her over with intensity and something else. Fiona didn’t want to know what the something else was, but it gave her the shivers. In a good way. She held onto her manners and smiled politely, avoiding his stare.
“Is he here?”
“Not at the moment.” The man hesitated and then smiled, and all of Fiona’s reservations melted away. She was a fair judge of character despite the fact she was small-town, and while his initial appraisal had been a tad, well, a tad something, he’d figured something out. Maybe Dave had talked about her.
“I’m Alistair Frayne. I’m Dave’s brother-in-law and his, uh, boss, you could say. Come in.”
Fiona took his hand, and as he shook it, he used the contact to ease her inside a really nice meeting room. Maybe they did group counseling or something of the like here. But Alistair Frayne seemed dressed for a party. Maybe. His leather pants fit really well, and Fiona dragged her eyes away from his bottom half and looked into his eyes. They were full of that same look again, and she narrowed her own before dropping them. She found she couldn’t challenge him, needed to defer to him, just as she did to Dave more often than not.
“Who is it, ’Stair?” A pregnant young woman emerged through a green door at the back of the room, and Fiona was staggered by the resemblance. The drift of fine blonde hair, the violet eyes, and the smile. It was a lovely, miniature, female Dave. Well, hardly Dave, but this woman was clearly his sister. Fiona felt her lips lift, and she smiled widely without even thinking about it. This would be Jackie. Dave had talked about her a great deal.
“I’m Fiona Lambert. I know your brother Dave. He stayed with us a while ago.”
“Hello, Fiona! I’m Jackie Frayne. You’ve obviously met Alistair.” Jackie’s expressive face clouded for a moment. “You’re a friend of Dave’s?”
“A little more than a friend, I hope, Jackie. Will he soon be back?”
Jackie shuffled in place and looked to her husband who just smiled a little, although he moved to get close to her, his hand stroking her shoulder and down her upper arm. Fiona watched a faint flush climb up from the top of Jackie’s shirt to delicately dust her throat and color her cheeks. “He had a meeting, and then he had some stuff to pick up, but he’ll be back soon. Does he know you’re coming?”
Fiona picked up on the reticence clearly foreign to Jackie, who had positively bubbled with ebullience not a moment earlier. “He doesn’t know. And I take it he’s never mentioned me.”
Alistair came to Jackie’s rescue. “Not in so many words, Fiona, but I think those closest to him knew about you. It’ll be a surprise.”
She started to worry. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Maybe she should just leave her name and number, and he could call her.
“Jackie? You locked Beau out, and he chewed up Alistair’s single tail in his upset!” A tall redhead pushed through the door, and a large white dog rushed ahead of her, only to halt directly in front of Jackie, who reached down to fondle its ears. The animal fixed unusual eyes on her and stalked forward. Fiona leaned over and offered a hand.
“Beau!” Alistair’s voice cracked. The dog gave him what Fiona could only term an eye roll and appeared to shrug. He sniffed her hand and then prostrated himself at her feet. She obligingly rubbed his belly, and he moaned with satisfaction.
“Well, that’s settled. She’s definitely one of us.” The redhead walked over to hold out her hand. “I’m Ashley Bell. The third in that combination.” She gestured to Jackie and Alistair.
Fiona was bewildered, but the rash of protests from both Alistair and Jackie took her attention.
“You’re not our third. And once the name change goes through, you’ll be a Frayne, too.” Jackie was indignant and looked like an angry
little wet hen. Fiona bit her lip against a giggle as she tried to puzzle things out.
“Don’t minimize, Ash. I won’t have it.” The redhead winked at Alistair’s comment and then punched him in the upper arm. It was altogether very strange. Jackie then took pity on her.
“I’m married to both Ashley and Alistair, although it’s ’Stair’s baby, obviously.” Jackie giggled. “And Ashley will have a baby, too, in time.”
“For god’s sake, Jackie. Fiona, we are in a polyamorous relationship. Jackie and I are legally married, but she’s married to Ashley, too, for all intents and purposes.”
Fiona nodded and nodded again. This was something quite foreign to her, something she’d only read about in books or those magazines at the supermarket, and certainly not within widely accepted social mores. She’d been raised in a loving and tolerant Christian home, however, so she stretched her mind and managed to encompass this revelation, although it would take some getting used to. She saw the loving connection between the three people standing across from her, Jackie in the middle of their small group, and decided to just accept it.
“How did you find the Club?” Alistair’s question pulled her attention back to the matter at hand.
“Dave wrote me to say he was okay, and this was the return address on the envelope. It looked like the stationery of some kind of a business or social services place. What kind of club is this?” While she wondered at Jackie’s sudden snort of laughter and Alistair’s shocked expression, Fiona thought it best not to say that Dave had written to say good-bye, not to invite her here, although she felt guilty at withholding that piece of information.
Jackie was laughing louder and so was Ashley, albeit less obviously. “Oh, boy, Fiona. You’re in for one shock after another, honey. Have a seat. We’ll give you the crash course, seeing as Dave works here now. You’re probably like me, even if you seem as innocent as, well, as a newborn.”
Apt [Running to Love 6] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 2