Bear It All

by Deanna Wadsworth

  Adding a third digit, he cupped Travis’s bottom and drew him closer so he could watch them go deep into that succulent, lush hole. Whimpering around the huge cock in his mouth, Travis rocked his hips. Though his hand had begun to tire from the enthusiastic way Travis squirmed around, he kept right on finger fucking the boy, loving the way he shuddered and twitched each time he honed in on his prostate. Never before had John been with anyone so electric and responsive. Knowing he still had the moves to please a lover made him feel half his age.

  When John sucked him down once more, the kid came unglued. He’d been sensuous before, but now he threw back his head and moaned, crying out, “Oh fuck!” so loudly the people next door probably heard him. Rather than be concerned, pride washed over John, knowing he caused him so much joy. He moved his tongue steadily along Travis’s shaft and bobbed his mouth up and down, scissoring his fingers deeper into the young ass.

  Travis seized John’s thighs then, digging into the flesh, and began to suck him with wild abandon. John shuddered but before he could enjoy it, Travis jerked and his cock stabbed into the back of John’s throat. Fighting down the gag reflex, he kept his lips tight for suction as Travis frantically began fucking his face. His hand ached as Travis thrust his ass clear to his third knuckle. Unable to hold back any longer, he slammed deep into the sultry tightness of Travis’s mouth.

  Travis’s balls tightened and his body tensed seconds before the first tangy burst of cum shot out. Groaning, John used his tongue to pump the white nectar from Travis’s cock, urged on by the way his own dick muffled his lover’s screams. John pulled back near the end of it so those last delicious bits of release sprayed his lips and goatee. The scent and taste of cum, the vice-like clenching of Travis’s sphincter on his fingers, made John’s own climax barrel in on him. John roared as lightning shot through his veins and he thrust further into Travis’s throat, cum bursting forth unchecked.

  John’s head spun and lights exploded behind his eyes as he came harder than he had in years, the intensity of it almost frightening. Clawing at his thighs, Travis whimpered and swallowed everything down, sucking him until he became oversensitive. But damn if he wanted those lips off him anytime soon.

  Breathing heavy, John collapsed back on the bed, the violent orgasm leaving nothing inside him. With surprising energy, Travis sidled up beside him, lying across his heaving chest to kiss him on the mouth. At the feel of his cum-wetted lips, John found the energy to cup the back of Travis’s head, the prickly, short hairs teasing his palms. His own thick fluid lingered on Travis’s swollen lips and he licked, relishing the delicious flavor of their combined spunk. Truly, he had never tasted anything sweeter.

  Travis grinned, eyes bright and cheeks flushed. “That was fucking awesome.”

  John kissed the tip of Travis’s nose and let out a breathy chuckle. “Yeah, kid. It was.”

  Chapter Seven

  A loud rumble startled Travis out of his post-orgasm slumber. He sat up, elbow poking into John’s broad, hairy chest. “Was that you?”

  John gave him a sheepish shrug and a smile. “Yeah, I’m starving.”

  “Guess we should get you something to eat.”

  Slapping him lightly on the belly, Travis sat up and looked around for a room service menu. He grinned at the sight of his T-shirt over the lampshade and one of his shoes lying on the desk. They’d been excited.

  A flicker of light captured his attention. “What’s that?”

  Still naked, he climbed out of bed and pushed the patio doors open. He grinned when they slid completely inside the wall, making the outside appear to be part of the room. Standing in the doorway, the romantic setting took Travis by surprise. Large pots of tropical flowers decorated with white, twinkling Christmas lights lined the terrace, and candles graced almost every surface. His stomach made a tiny noise of hunger when he noticed a cart, heavily laden with fruits, breads, cakes, and cheeses, beside a beautifully set table for two, complete with linens, crystal and a chilling bucket of champagne. Hints of soft music he’d been too upset upon his arrival, and then too horny to notice, complimented the ambiance.

  “Is this supposed to be for me?”

  “It is.”

  The warm ocean breeze whisked over the terrace wall, extinguishing a few of the candles and causing the rest to flicker and dance. The sun had sunk below the sea, but hints of red and purple still lingered on the horizon. On the opposite side of the sky, the blackness of night with its speckling of stars encroached on the last vestiges of light. Unlike back home, the darkness did not bring with it a chill. The night remained warm, rich with the salty aroma of the sea and the other damp, slightly floral scents of the tropics.

  Travis let out the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. “It’s beautiful.”

  “You’re beautiful.”

  Startled, he turned to see John towering over him, the heat of his exposed flesh warming him instantly. The sleepy smile and rumpled blond hair looked so damn sexy, he had the sudden impulse to embrace and kiss him. Thank him for all the careful planning he had put into the night.

  Then reality returned.

  “You mean, this is for the one you wanted,” he whispered, his feelings still stung despite what they’d shared.

  John heaved a weary sigh. “I’m sorry if I hurt you feelings. Sometimes I….”

  Despite the humiliation eating at his insides, Travis forced a smile and stepped away. He needed to put some space between them. “It’s okay. We both got off. I guess it turned out fine.”

  John moved toward him, hand outstretched. Then, as if thinking better of it, he bunched his fist at his side and stayed in place. “No, Travis. It’s not okay. I acted like an ass, and I’m sorry. But I thought we’d had a giant mix-up. Like you couldn’t possibly be the one they sent for me.”

  “Why? You filled out your request form, paid money, same as me.” His prickly mood dissipated. No wonder Madame Eve didn’t like to mention price. It cheapened everything. He sighed. “Then again, I’m not what you asked for.”

  “But I’m very pleased with what I got.”

  “Then why—” His voice broke, so he started over. “Why did you ditch me?”

  “I figured no way would someone like you would want to spend the night with me.”

  “What do you mean someone like me?” he demanded, feeling mildly indignant.

  John cracked a smile. “God, Travis, look at you. You’re like every fag’s wet dream.”

  He buried a chuckle. “This isn’t funny.”

  “I know it isn’t, but don’t you see? You should be with sexy guys your own age. Not some washed-up old fool like me.”

  Travis threw out his hands. “That’s the whole point. I don’t want someone like me.”

  “Look, kid, I figured you’d be angry with who the service sent, too, so I left. Frankly, I’ve been through a bad time the last couple of years and I didn’t want to risk that kind of humiliation.”

  The hurt in his gaze cut Travis to the bone. “What do you mean ‘bad time’?”

  “My partner, Kurt, died three years ago from cancer.”

  “Aww, I’m so sorry.”

  Shaking his head hard, John looked out at the ocean. “It’s been a long time since I did anything like this. I came down here because it seemed like a safe way to get back on the horse, if you know what I mean.”

  Travis hesitated. “You mean that you haven’t…?”

  John’s cheeks reddened. “I haven’t been with anyone since he died. Hell, I practically asked Madame Eve to send me a carbon copy of Kurt. So when I saw you, I don’t know,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “I sort of freaked. You weren’t what I expected, and you’re so far outta my league, I figured I’d stop it before you ended up rejecting me. But instead, I ended up hurting you.”

  What could Travis possibly say to that?

  Rather than address the heaviness of John’s confession or how it made him feel, Travis stepped closer. “You think I’m outta you
r league?”

  “Um, yeah? Look at you. I’m still having a hard time wrapping my head around why someone like you would want me.”

  “That’s enough with the ‘someone like you’ bullshit. Can’t you accept that I have a thing for hot, older, hairy guys?”

  The absurdity of both of them being completely naked while John bared his heart was not lost on Travis. He reached out a slim hand and rested it on John’s large, tanned forearm. He could feel his tension and wanted to ease it. “I’m sorry you didn’t end up getting what you asked for, but maybe that’s a good thing. It wouldn’t have been fair to you or Kurt’s memory. And, frankly, it’s not fair to do that to future boyfriends either.”

  At John’s thunderstruck expression, Travis feared he’d crossed a line. Things weren’t supposed to get so heavy.

  But his concerns quickly disappeared when John placed a hand over his, squeezing it tight against his arm. He smiled. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  He shrugged, feeling warm and happy all of a sudden. “No, problem, big guy. I guess you had a pretty good reason for being an ass. I’m over it.”

  John sniffed a laugh. “So does this mean you forgive me? And maybe you’ll stay with me the rest of the night?”

  Travis looked up at the beautiful bear standing before him. Something about the genuine honesty in those hazel eyes, the uncertainty of his posture, told Travis John didn’t ask him to stay because he’d paid or was still horny—well, hopefully it had a little to do with being horny. He didn’t need a replacement for his dead partner either.

  John simply wanted Travis.

  Chapter Eight

  “You sure you don’t want a refund?” Travis gave him a saucy grin, stepping back and planting a hand on his naked hip.

  As John’s gaze went the length of his body, his spent cock twitched and his voice went gravelly with sudden lust. “Hell no!” He chuckled, realizing how easily he’d fallen for Travis’s wiles. “Usually, I don’t like surprises. I like rules and order. Probably why I’m a law professor.”

  Travis busted up laughing. “I just took the bar.”

  “Really?”

  “Yup. This vacation is my reward for the lack of social life while I slaved over textbooks getting ready for it last year.”

  After confessing about Kurt, John was grateful for the shift in conversation. “Yeah, studying for the bar can be a real bitch.”

  “It was, but I think I did okay.” Travis made his way over to the cart of food, his cute, round butt tempting John with every step. Selecting a ripe piece of mango, Travis took a small bite, sucking half the fruit languidly into his mouth. After experiencing the glory of that mouth first hand, unreasonable jealousy against any and all mangos overcame him. Then, deliberately it seemed, Travis drew the yellow fruit from his lips in a long, liquid movement, sweeping his tongue slowly below his lower lip to catch the juice. He slanted a glance at John, a knowing little grin playing across his face.

  John swallowed hard.

  Yeah, the little devil had done it on purpose.

  Young and full of pent-up sexuality, Travis had wisdom in his blue eyes that belied his innocent looks. He’d been correct. John hadn’t been fair to himself. No one could replace the time with Kurt, and he didn’t want them to. Those years, though not always perfect, had been precious. He couldn’t go back, yet putting one foot in front of the other was no longer good enough. He’d come down to the Caribbean to open new doors.

  Who knew someone seventeen years his junior and half his size would hold the key?

  Getting everything out in the open had loosened the figurative bands on his chest, letting him breathe easier. However the seductive way Travis bit and suckled the mango, sticky juice dribbling down his chin, did not help with oxygen making it to his brain. Clearing his throat, he picked up a plate and handed it to Travis, hoping if he used proper eating utensils instead of doing indecent things to fruit, John might be able to have an actual conversation with him. “When will you know you passed?”

  “If I passed.”

  “I’m sure you did.”

  “God, I hope you’re right.” Travis dropped his shoulders and let out a weary sigh, offering John a smile. With the confident way he made love, that flash of innocence and fear surprised him. Actually, it made John want to reach out and hug him, comfort him. Take care of him.

  Pushing the sudden overwhelming needs aside, he filled his plate and gestured for Travis to join him at the table. Sitting down for a meal naked should’ve been awkward, but Travis’s company put him at ease. Like he could be himself—clothed or not.

  “I don’t know if I can handle taking that test again,” Travis went on, as if venting to himself.

  “I’m sure you did great. I’ve only known you an hour, but I can already tell you’re very smart.”

  “It’s only been an hour?” He paused in surprise. “Gosh, I feel like I’ve known you longer than that.”

  John started and looked up to find the younger man happily eating a piece of cheesecake, heedless of the impact of his statement. Not one to believe in love at first sight, or soul mates, or any other kind of romance novel nonsense, John couldn’t deny his connection with Travis. He wanted to know more about him, wanted to hold and keep him safe. Wake up beside him and cook him breakfast. He wondered if his sister would like Travis.

  He smothered a laugh. Good lord, Gracie would think he’d lost his mind if he brought home a hot twink as a souvenir. He could picture her rolling her eyes and telling him he should’ve just bought some shot glasses or a T-shirt like a normal person.

  The smile faded from his face as fast as it came. How thick could he get? Like Travis would ever meet his sister. After tonight, they would probably never see each other again. The realization made his stomach ache but he quickly dismissed it, refusing to let melancholy take him. A gorgeous, naked man sat across from him on a beautiful, moonlit night in a tropical paradise. He’d be damned if he didn’t enjoy every last moment of this experience.

  Feeling unbelievably grateful, John filled two crystal flutes with champagne. “A toast?”

  Still chewing his bite of cheesecake, Travis nodded in agreement. He wiped his hand on a napkin and reached for his glass, holding it up expectantly.

  “To serendipity intervening on my behalf and knowing what I wanted before I did.” John hoped the simple, heartfelt words would smooth over the hurt he’d caused Travis.

  Travis quirked one eyebrow, a gesture John found absolutely sexy. “And to passing the bar.”

  “Cheers.”

  After they clinked glasses, John asked, “What branch of law do you plan to go into?”

  “I’m going to be a child advocate.” Travis pursed his lips and jutted out his chin, bringing to mind a kid standing up against the bully who stole his lunch money one too many times. The glimmer of insecurity he’d seen earlier lay so far hidden, he wondered if he’d imagined it.

  He chose his words carefully. “Interesting choice. What made you pick it?”

  Travis took a sip of champagne. “I was a foster kid most my life.” He looked up at John, as if expecting ridicule or contempt. “My little brother got adopted right away, but I got passed around to eight different homes before I turned sixteen. Some of them weren’t that great and others were decent. But anything was better than being with my mom. She let her boyfriends do stuff to me. You know. Like beatings and stuff.”

  John knew what “and stuff” meant and it made him want to steal Travis away and hide him from the world. Or beat to death the men who had abused his beautiful Travis. Now, he knew where his insecurities stemmed from. More importantly, he understood the reason for his fire and passion.

  He reached out and placed a hand over Travis’s. “I’m sorry.”

  Travis tensed and John thought he might jerk his hand free, but after a sigh he relaxed and laced their fingers together, his thumb stroking the back of John’s hand. “Thank you. But it happened a long time ago. I still see my brother som
etimes. The system worked for him. He has a great life. But there are kids out there it’s not working for. They need somebody who knows what they’re going through and can get them help. Show them that no matter what others did to them, their lives can still be successful even if the statistics say otherwise.”

  John beamed with pride. That kind of intensity came from a place deep within and couldn’t be learned from a legal textbook. Travis may have had a rough go of it in the beginning, but apparently nothing stopped him from living and going after what he wanted. John could learn a lot from him. “With an understanding and a fire like that, you’re gonna make a damn fine lawyer.”

  A genuine, boyish smile lit up his face and went straight to John’s heart. “Thanks. That means a lot coming from you.”

  They held hands as they continued to eat. John liked the connection. Travis had said being with a man like John made him feel safe and loved. Happiness simmered in him at the mere idea he could, in some way, fill that need for Travis, if only for a night. He’d never known the joy of having another person need him for anything.

  Kurt had been successful, confident, and gorgeous. He could’ve had anyone he wanted. Rather than feel blessed Kurt picked him, John always felt superfluous. Yet, he didn’t feel that way with Travis at all. The younger man’s presence filled a hole which had gone unacknowledged for a long time—John’s need to be needed.

  Guilt over such treacherous ideas gnawed at his insides. No! He gritted his teeth. This had to stop. Comparing the two men would only cause harm to Kurt’s memory and to John. And it was especially unfair to Travis. Not that he ever had to know. Nothing would happen between them after this one shot deal. He had to keep reminding himself of that.

  “Do you have a job lined up yet?” John hastily asked to cover his thoughts.

  Travis shrugged, his bare shoulders glowing in the pale moonlight. “The job market in Toledo isn’t exactly good. I’m thinking about relocating.”