Every day she was discovering something she missed about her home and disliked about Dravia and every day she longed to be away from the prince’s presence and near to her father once more. She sighed and tossed the covers aside, at least today they had brought her a new head scarf. She was so uneasy here that she dared not even take her scarf off to sleep, least someone see her without it. For the first time she was seriously considering hair dye, she knew there was no way she could stay in Dravia for much longer without coming up with a more permanent solution to keeping her secret.
Although she had told Serin the truth last night, she was not quite ready for anyone else to know that Ruby of Aldor was not a true daughter of the king, but an orphan with unknown lineage. If she took her head scarf off that would surely give it away. Even though she had confided in Serin about her parentage, she could not bring herself to show him her greatest secret and she was glad she had not. Serin took the news as she had expected. He was shocked and worried over what it might mean for her return or if the prince should find out. But he had also felt betrayed that she had waited so long to tell him. She could still see him pacing across the room, his fingers tapping his chin as he muttered to himself.
"I am sorry," she had kept saying, as if an apology could put the rug back beneath his feet.
“I should have told you sooner, before we got here. But I thought we had more time..."
Serin had shaken his head, "do not worry about it, if I were you I would not go about talking about that either. Do you think that others in the kingdom know about you?"
Ruby lowered her gaze, the truth about the circumstances surrounding her birth was finally out in the open. All her life it had hovered over her and her family. It was one of the kingdom's well-kept secrets and sensibly so. Finding out that the king had a daughter who was not his own would have raised too much questions. Questions that Ruby often asked her father but would never get the answer to. Like where had she come from? And what had happened to her parents? Additionally, finding out that that daughter was also not Aldorian would have made quite a stir among the people. Especially those who still subscribed to the old Purist ways. It was the first history lesson Baron Enis had given that had stuck with her, the reality that years ago just before her birth, there was a rebellion in Aldor against her father’s Refugee laws, incited by people who called themselves Purists, whose purpose was to maintain the purity of the Aldorian race.
"Maybe some older members on the royal council. My father must have thought it best."
"Ruby, you know what this means. If your relationship with the king isn’t strengthened by a blood bond, then there is nothing stopping him from disowning you, from taking your inheritance from you and giving it to someone else."
Ruby closed her eyes briefly, losing a father, a family should not be so easy, but it was all she could have thought about for a while now because her family was not like others. Did she really belong in Aldor? Was she worthy to be called princess? She was the king's daughter because he must have looked upon her in her infancy and pitied her, if pity had eventually turned into love, she wondered if it was enough now.
"I did consider that that might happen," she had said finally.
With a frown Serin took a step toward her, frowning, "this was your plan all along?"
"Not really...." She had started.
"This was never about me was it, never about seeing the world?"
Ruby had gotten to her feet, "yes it was. I never thought leaving Aldor was a possibility, not until you showed me how possible it was."
She had taken a step toward him and had tried reaching out to touch him. But he had only distanced himself from her, his eyes hard.
"You used me, and now you are going to switch me out for the prince of Dravia!"
"No! Never, I would never choose that silver-tongued, entitled brute over you. I… I am completely and totally in love with you."
But her news had shocked him, and he could not look at her.
“I have to think Ruby,” he had said softly and then left her chambers.
Even now as she thought about their fight, dread descended upon her. She knew that he was merely overwhelmed with what she had told him, but a part of her feared that he would do something foolish.
She climbed out of bed at the sound of knocking on her door and tiptoed to the door. Pressing her ear against the solid wood, she called out.
“Yes, what is it?”
“Princess,” came the familiar voice of her handmaiden, Clarice.
Clarice was a gentle soul and Ruby had instantly been fond of her and she felt heartbroken to see what she endured daily by the prince and other palace officials. Servants were treated like filth here, like they were worthless and unnecessary, yet they were constantly overworked.
“Yes Clarice.”
“His majesty requests your presence for breakfast. He has sent up another dress for you to wear. Should I go ahead and bring in the bath supplies?”
Ruby pressed her forehead against the cool wood, “Uh… Clarice I am afraid that I am unwell. I feel awful this morning. I am afraid I am not suitable company for anyone. Can you tell the prince?”
There was a long hesitation and Ruby knew that what she was asking of Clarice would put her in the firing range of the prince’s anger. But she could not see him, not yet while her heart and mind were in such a jumble.
“Okay Princess Ruby,” Clarice finally replied, “should I prepare a tea table for you?”
“Yes, I would like that,” Ruby replied, throwing in an awful sounding cough for good effect.
She listened as Clarice’s footsteps scurried away and then exhaled deeply, her gaze instantly going to the arched window, there was no escaping from this room. She was stuck, without a plan and without Serin.
The last thing Ruby wanted to do today was sit in one of the prince’s gardens where he could easily find her if he wanted to. But the prince always had to have his way and did not need to show his face to make it happen. Clarice had returned from delivering her message with a tea tray and a reassuring smile. She had explained that the prince was not upset that she had declined breakfast with him, but rather that he was concerned. He was so concerned, that he had sent Clarice with instructions to care for Ruby and to have her spend some time in the garden near her quarters, so she could get some much needed fresh air.
Ruby would have declined that too, if it was not for his kind warning that if she did not feel better by evening he would call for the palace physician. So, Ruby complied, even though she was really looking forward to lying in bed with the covers up to her chin moping over her falling out with Serin. But she hoped to avoid seeing a physician who would surely reveal her to be a liar, by giving credit the fresh air and garden walk for her miraculous discovery.
She was grateful for the time alone however, she had longed for some time to pray. But knowing that anyone could see her from the right spot in the castle, prevented her from doing any ritualistic kneeling as they often did at the temple. So, she closed her eyes and did something she had never done before; she spoke to El with her thoughts alone. Only members of the priest hood practiced thought prayers, it was a form of meditative prayer, that she would often see them doing at the temple. Geoff had explained that they were doing thought prayers, by focusing their entire mind on El and shutting everything else out. She tried this now, though it was hard to quiet her ever racing mind, but she felt so distant from what she had always known. And now that Serin was upset with her, she felt even more alone.
As her mind focused, she felt herself relaxing as she thought about El and all that his name stood for in her kingdom; peace, love, mercy, sacrifice, joy... She focused on what she knew about him, turning it over in her mind until it’s meaning sunk deep into her heart. The peace she felt as she did this made her want to never stop, but to press in deeper. She felt like if she kept going, kept focusing she might be able to touch El himself. That he would not be just another name to a ritual she had alw
ays done, but he would become real and he would reach back to her. It was no wonder the priests would indulge in thought prayers so often, no wonder they survived isolation at the start of the season of seeds, where they would withdraw from the outside world, abstain from food and pray for a healthy harvest.
“Ruby?” At the sound of her name, a frown formed on her brow, had she heard right? Was that the voice of El calling her name?
“Ruby!”
There it was again, only this time it sounded familiar and she felt the peace she had just experienced slipping away, along with the weight of a familiar hand on her shoulder. When she opened her eyes, she found herself face to face with Serin’s worried frown.
“Are you alright?” he asked.
Still dazed, Ruby shook her head, then ran a hand down the length of her face, she had really drifted off there, she thought.
“Yes… sorry, just flustered.”
Serin sat down next to her, still looking worried, “I heard that you were unwell. Surely I did not upset you so much to ail you?”
Ruby smiled weakly, “No, no. I just needed a break from the prince. You should be the one upset Serin, not me.”
She watched his brown eyes soften, and he reached up to cup her face with his hand. As happy as she was to have him look at her with tenderness again, she could not shake the feeling of discomfort that had come upon her at his appearance.
“I am not upset with you Ruby. I was just taken off guard that’s all.”
"Can you still love me, even if I am no longer a princess?" she asked.
"I do not care whose daughter you are," he growled with passion, "you will always be a princess to me."
Her smile widened, “You always know how to say the right things,” she replied.
Serin’s smile widened, and he leaned toward her, sealing his words with a kiss and taking her back to that first moment where he had boldly kissed her atop the castle with the countless stars as witnesses. It was nice as it usually was, Ruby would admit, but for some odd reason it did not bring her satisfaction as it once did, it did not give her a sense of safety.
She withdrew and stared into his eyes, really looked into his dark brown depths, and she felt like she was truly seeing him for the first time. And like most first time encounters went, she realized she did not really know Serin. That if she peeled away the emotions he stirred within her and the distraction of own insecurities, she would find herself face to face with a stranger. Love truly is bewitching she thought, remembering her younger sister’s reprimand and the prince’s dark assertion. She looked away from Serin as thoughts of her sister, stirred up painful longing in her heart. She missed Topaz most of all. It had always been the two of them for as long as she could remember. Whether they were arguing, laughing, or sharing in the difficulties of growing up in the spotlight of Aldor. Ruby sighed deeply.
“What is it?” Serin asked.
“Just thinking about Topaz, I miss her.”
Serin nodded, “she is not really your twin sister is she?”
Ruby smiled, “no she is not. Apparently, when my father brought me home Topaz was just about due to be born, they estimated that we must have been just about two or three months apart. So, when they announced her birth, they announced mine, as far as the kingdom was concerned the queen had even birth to twins. We stayed indoors for the first two years of our lives and then we were allowed to go out in public after my grandfather’s death, but only briefly. My parents were always afraid of my secret getting out.”
Serin extended an arm across her shoulder and kissed her cheek, “that must have been really hard for you. I am sorry you had to endure that.”
Ruby leaned into him and sighed, “thank you for understanding.”
"Well this is interesting."
Both Ruby and Serin jumped at the intrusion and turned in the direction of the voice. There the prince stood, his trimmed brows raised in intrigue.
"Prince Haddin," Ruby said, rising to her feet and trying to mask her embarrassment with a frown.
The prince smirked, "I see you are feeling much better," he said, "if I was not a trusting man I would assume your sickness was just a ruse to get to spend time with your… peasant lover."
Serin glared at him and Ruby reached over and took his hand. For Aldorians being called a peasant was derogatory and unacceptable. For everyone was seen as valuable a person, with roles and responsibilities all necessary to the kingdom’s flourishing. She narrowed her eyes at the prince's self-assured grin, he was clearly not threatened by her relationship with Serin.
“No, your majesty I did feel unwell this morning, Serin was merely concerned for my wellbeing.”
The prince looked at Serin, his eyes gleaming with mischief.
"I see,” he said, “just a good friend comforting a lady with a kiss, surely you do not believe me to be such a fool?”
“I am not insulting you Prince Haddin,” Ruby replied, “I did not deny the extent of my relationship with Serin.”
“So you are lovers?”
Ruby parted her lips to answer but he interjected with a scowl.
“Yet you failed to mention this yesterday when I brought my proposition to you.”
“I know how this must look…” Ruby started, but the prince silenced her with a lifted hand.
“Serin is it? I would like a word please. Man to man."
As Serin stepped forward, Ruby stepped in front of him protectively, “whatever you wish to say to him can be said in my presence,” she said adamantly.
The prince chuckled, “you are indeed naive princess, as I would expect someone as sheltered as you are to be. Serin has no choice in the matter. He works for me now.”
Ruby looked at Serin with wide questioning eyes. Serin responded with a remorseful nod.
“I am sorry Ruby,” he said, “but I was only trying to find my place here. I did not think that us being together would be an issue,” as he said those words he turned to look at the prince and Ruby could swear she saw some semblance of familiarity in their expressions that could not have come from a day long working relationship.
The prince chuckled at Serin and took a step back, “I will be in my study.”
He turned and sauntered away, leaving them to bid each other farewell.
“It will be fine Ruby,” Serin said, smiling stiffly at her, trying to reassure her that he would be fine, when he himself doubted.
Ruby admired his bravery, but the chill she felt sidle down her spine when the prince came near made it hard to believe that Serin would be just fine. Yet she released his hand and watched him walk away. She lowered herself to the wooden bench and released a ragged breath, “Oh El, keep Serin safe.”
CHAPTER 16
“Y
ou know I have to admit, when my... advisors came up with this plan of theirs, I did not think you were capable of pulling it off.”
The prince stood with his back to his writing desk as he looked intently upon a painting of himself, hanging on the wall behind it. He was a handsome man, a masterpiece to look upon, yet the princess recoiled at him anytime he came near. He shook his head, forbidding those upsetting thoughts to plague him when he was busy being a formidable king. He turned around and rested his gaze on the young man before him, he recognized that look in his eyes; defiance. Oh, how he hated a defiant stare.
“Yet here you are. I thought it was too good to be true when you showed up here with the princess willingly following, eyes aglow with affection. I went along with it, waiting for the perfect time when you would break her heart, so I could step in and claim what remained of it. But never had it occurred to me that you would truly fall for her too.”
Serin’s eyes hardened as he shifted his weight uncomfortably, “the princess was enamoured with me even before your… minions showed up in my cell. I took the offer because I knew it was what she would have wanted, what we both wanted. Nothing was said about me breaking her heart so that you could have her, that was not part of the deal.”
/>
The prince chuckled, but there was not a hint of humour in his cold eyes, “you are a fool,” he hissed.
Serin lowered his gaze, “You took advantage of me when I was in a tough situation. You never indicated the extent of your affections for the princess. Now you wish to take her from me. With all due respect your majesty,” he said bitterly, “the princess has a mind of her own and she has made her decision.”
The prince’s blue eyes were like steel blades, he wanted nothing more than to feel the pulse of Serin’s neck in the palms of his hands.
“You forget yourself,” he warned.
“Look your majesty, with all due respect. Can you not just let us be? All we want to do is be free to love each other.”
“To love each other? In what world can a man like you ever keep a princess?”
“This world… this kingdom,” Serin replied, “is this not what Dravia is about?”
“In this kingdom, what I say goes and even more in this palace! In this world a woman like the daughter of the king of Aldor is a game changer in all I have planned for Saharia.”
“I see. Well thank you for your accommodations, but neither of us will be a pawn in your sick game. We will be leaving now.” Serin bowed slightly and then spun on his heels.
“Leaving?” The prince shouted after him, “but where ever will you go? There is no escaping me in this kingdom, and I will have my way, I always do.”
Serin waved his hand in farewell and turned towards the door. The prince glared at him, his anger turning his otherwise flawless pallor into a blotchy red mess.
“Oh, you want to test me peasant,” the prince growled, “test me you have.”
Swiftly, he lifted his hand and turned his palm inward, stopping Serin in his tracks. Serin’s hand remained extended toward the door knob, even as his eyes widened in fear. The prince stepped forward, his hand still lifted and then with a flick of his wrist drew Serin’s immobile figure toward him. Serin’s eyes widened as he was made to face him.
Kingdom of Refuge (Gemstone Royals Book 1) Page 14