“Fine.” Huh, if he’s still talking to Aunt Susan, then I guess he’s still with Megan. “How did you break your leg? Another skateboarding accident?”
He laughs sheepishly, running a hand through his messy hair. “Yeah. You’d think I’d learn by now that I’m no good at it…”
“If only they could teach common sense,” I mutter philosophically.
“Andi.” Bran tries to look me in the eye, but fails. “Before I tell you what I came here to tell you, I just want to tell you how sorry I am about everything. I never got to apologize. Megan and I—we still feel so bad about it. That time you walked in on us? That was the first time we were ever together, I swear it. I mean, we had feelings for each other for a while…but that was the first time we ever did anything about it.”
He says this all in a rush, breathing caramel and guilt directly in my face. “Why couldn’t you losers just tell me?” I blurt out. “If you both came to me about how you felt—instead of doing it all over my damn bed—I probably would have…had a better reaction.”
“We were afraid to.” Bran stares down at his hands. “We tried so hard not to like each other.”
I mentally kick myself. “Okay, whatever. That was two years ago, and I’ve definitely moved on. What did you want to talk to me about?”
He takes a deep breath, steeling himself. He looks up at me, apprehension evident in his misty eyes. “We’re getting married in a month—and Meg wants you to be her maid of honor,” he says all in a jumble.
I laugh incredulously. But when I see he’s serious, I’m pissed all over again! I jump up and march off. Then I turn back. I grab the crutches that are resting next to Bran, and toss them several feet away. Now I can leave.
I’m almost to my car before I reluctantly slow to a stop. I drag feet back to Bran, who’s still sitting there with a look of shock on his stupid face. I force myself to retrieve his crutches and restore them back to their former place. And though my ass and the brick planter feel like repelling magnets, I resume my seat.
“You must be out of your damn mind,” I say.
Bran shifts uncomfortably. “Hear me out first, okay? I know it’s completely shitty of me to ask this of you but it’s for Megan, and I have to try. When was the last time you saw Susan?”
I blink at the sudden change of subject. “I call her every week,” I say defensively. “It’s hard to visit when I have work and school.”
“Oh, I know,” he says quickly. “That’s not what I…uh…well…I don’t know if you know this, but after that last bout of pneumonia, she hasn’t been doing so well.”
“What do you mean?” I glare at him. “She told me she’s feeling much better since she started the injections.”
Bran compresses his lips. He shakes his head and looks away. “The pneumonia really took a lot out of her. The doctors said that—she’s been very weak lately. And…it’s not looking too good.”
I sit there in silence. I should be expecting this. When my aunt was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer last year, I looked up the statistics and survival rates. The results were pretty grim. But Aunt Susan is young and strong, and so positive. She still sounds like her old self, and every time I ask, she tells me she’s doing great. Has she been lying to me all this time?
“Why didn’t someone tell me?” I ask angrily, feeling like a dumbass. Uncle Charlie or Ellen—someone should have called me.
“She didn’t want to worry you,” Bran answers, sounding miserable. “You know how she is. Meg—she’s torn up about it. That’s why we’re doing this in such a rush. I mean, we were going to get married eventually because…”
I nod distractedly. Megan and her mom were each other’s best friends. Of course she’d want her mom to be there for one of the most important days of her life.
“It would make Susan so happy if you and Megan made up,” Bran is saying. He almost reaches for me, but smartly comes to his senses. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but considering the—”
“Of course I’ll do it for Susan,” I snap. “When and where is the wedding?”
His whole body seems to sigh in relief. “Thank you, Andi! You don’t know how much this means—not just to Susan, but to me and Megan—”
“Blah, blah, blah! Just give me the details already!”
Bran suddenly looks apprehensive again. “There’s something else I need to tell you,” he says softly.
Oh, great. Now what? “Now what?” I say out loud.
“Megan is pregnant,” he says quickly. Before I can digest this new bit of info, he hurries on. “She’s having a really hard time—constantly sick, and the doctor keeps warning her that she’s gonna put her on bed rest if she doesn’t slow down. She’s been doing too much, and getting so stressed with everything that’s been going on. She can’t go running around and planning the wedding like she wants to. But it's coming up in a month so we’re really on a time crunch. So…”
I stare at him blankly while he vomits words at me. Like talking faster is going to have less of a negative impact. But I simply have no idea what he’s trying to get at.
Bran abruptly falls silent, begging me with his eyes to understand. “So why doesn’t Megan ask her friends to help her out?” I wonder. “Does she still hang out with what’s-their-faces? Simone and Annie?”
“Ally.” He nods his head to confirm. “Yeah, they’re all still best friends. But the both of them are leaving with their boyfriends for Europe on Saturday. They’ll be gone the whole summer.”
“What, they can’t cancel, or postpone it?”
“They planned this trip for months. And Meg isn’t close enough with her other friends to ask them to help plan her wedding.”
“But she’s okay with having you ask me to help her out,” I conclude.
“I know we have no right to ask you.” He leans down to scratch under the top of his beat-up cast. “But we’re running out of time. And it would mean so much to Susan if you were a part of this.”
I sigh heavily, staring off into space. I can’t believe this shit. “Fine. I’ll help.”
Bran lights up like a Christmas tree. “Seriously? Andi, thank you! You—”
I put up my hand like a traffic cop. “I don’t want to hear it.”
He swallows the rest of his stupid comments, and flashes me a weak smile. “Okay. Well, when do you think you can come up to Sea Wind? That’s where we’re having it.”
“I don’t know.” I frown. “I have to make arrangements with my…job.”
“Oh, right.” Bran suddenly straightens. “Sure. And, hey, if you have a boyfriend he’s welcome to come.”
“I do have a boyfriend,” my mouth—without the consent of my brain—volunteers. “But I doubt he’ll come. He’s a famous actor so he has a very busy schedule.”
“Really?” Both Bran’s eyebrows rise—skeptically? “Who is he, if you don’t mind me asking?”
I squeeze my eyes shut for a brief second. “Lucas Greyson,” I claim almost painfully.
His jaw drops. “Are you serious? Lucas Greyson?! But he’s, like—”
“What, you don’t believe me?” I glare at Bran as I whip out my phone. I swipe it open and go to my gallery.
I have tons of pictures of us on vacation at various exotic locales to back up my claim. Granted, I’m only in some of them since I’m usually the one taking them. And the few pictures I am in, Luke and I don’t look very couple-y. In fact, Nate is usually between us.
“Who is that guy?” Bran asks, pointing to the image of Nate pretending to lick the side of Luke’s face.
“That’s just Nate,” I say dismissively. “He’s our side piece. It’s a Hollywood thing.”
“Oh,” he murmurs, trying not to appear too embarrassed and shocked. He continues to swipe through my pics, enthralled. “Holy shit, I cannot believe you’re dating Lucas Greyson! How did you guys meet?”
“On a beach,” I reply succinctly. “And don’t go blabbing it around town. We’re kind of keeping i
t a secret.”
“No—of course. But definitely invite him to the wedding! Meg’s gonna freak! You know how obsessed she is with the dude.” Bran chuckles. “Remember how she used to make us watch all his movies over and over? And she still has all the My Soul for You posters taped up in our bedroom…”
“Yup,” I cut him off, annoyed. “Look, he’s pretty busy. He’s out of the country right now, so I doubt he’ll be able to make it to your stupid wedding.”
“Oh, yeah—no, I totally understand. But if there’s any way—it’d be awesome to have him there. He can be my best man!”
“In hell.” I abruptly stand up. “I have to go. I’ll try to get to Sea Wind as soon as my schedule allows me. Bye.”
“Wait a second.” Bran grabs his crutches and struggles to his feet. “Is it okay if—?”
“I said bye.”
I walk briskly away, muttering to myself. This time, I’m pissed at me. What the hell? Why did I even lie about me and Luke being together? Why do I even care what Bran thinks? What’s that stupid ticket doing on my windshield?
I haven’t even told my aunt that I work for Luke. I don’t really tell her much of anything. We’ve never been super close, so our weekly phone calls can get kind of tortuous. We can’t talk about Megan, and there’s only so much we can talk about the weather. The only other safe topic we have is Talon, and I now know more about that kid’s life than I ever wanted to. He still pees the bed.
Swallowing my pride and bitterness is the least I can do for Aunt Susan. My parents died in a car crash when I was twelve. I didn’t have any other family in Boise, so I was sent to Sea Wind, Oregon to live with my dad’s twin brother and his family. Talon was just a baby at the time, and Aunt Susan was busy with him and her job, and driving Megan to soccer practice and dance class. The last thing she needed was an antisocial preteen who wasn’t even her blood relative. She was nice to me, though, and always made sure I was welcome and had everything I needed.
So I’ve got to play nice with everyone. I owe it to her.
Oh, and I still have to tell Luke I’m not going to make it to Lemage. I wonder if he’ll dock my pay. That would be the icing on the shit cake.
Chapter 4
“—and then I said, ‘You set my world on fire; now I’m gonna burn yours down.’ Then I dropped the match on the bed.”
“You didn’t.”
“I did.”
Luke bursts out laughing. “Holy shit, Tiger! If it was anyone else, I’d say they were lying—but I can totally see you doing that. So what happened after?”
I shrug, even though he can’t see me. “Well, the whole bed caught fire from the gasoline. They freaked out and ran out of the apartment, all naked and stuff. I got in my car and drove away. You know the rest.”
“Yeah, but you never told me about setting the bed on fire.” Luke’s tone is admiring. “Man, I can’t believe you’re going up there to help those assholes out.”
“I’m not doing it for them, I’m doing it for my aunt,” I reply sharply. Then in a softer voice, I add, “She’s not doing well.”
“I’m sorry, Andi.” Luke’s voice gets quieter, too. “Hey, if there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to ask, okay? You know I’d do anything for you.”
I clear my throat. Because it’s dry. “Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it. So where are you staying? Not with them, right? I could give Erica Jane a call and she could arrange for you to stay at the best hotel they have there in Sea Horse.”
I laugh. “Sea Wind. And thanks, but no. I’m staying with my grandma Ellen.”
“That’s the one that’s, like, thirty years younger than your grandpa?”
“No, that’s his third wife, Gina. Ellen was his second wife.” I shift my phone to my other ear. “She’s got an awesome little house right on the beach.”
“Yeah? Cool. Maybe your pale ass will get a tan this summer after all.” Luke chuckles.
“Maybe. And maybe your ass will get bit off by a shark,” I retort.
“Nah, they don’t like the taste of me. As soon as that wedding’s done, you’re flying up, yeah? I’ll save the shark swimming for when you get here.”
“Gee, thanks.” I roll my eyes, knowing he’ll be able to magically sense it over the phone. “I gotta go. Tell Nate and those other guys I said hey.”
“Only if you tell your ex-boyfriend I said he’s a douche.”
I end the call with a smile. I can always count on Luke to be on my side no matter what psycho thing I admit to. He even knows about that thing with Dr. Pawlak. And you could torture me, but I would never tell him how much I like listening to him talk. His voice is distinctive and husky, slightly raspy like he’s just getting over a cold. And there’s always that hint of warm laughter in it. It’s se—nice.
Now that I think about it, setting the bed on fire was a pretty extreme thing to do. I’d like to say I was crazed with grief, but…I was thinking pretty clearly at the time. I got the can of gasoline that Bran kept on the patio and a box of matches from the kitchen; then I walked back into the bedroom I shared with him and poured the gas all over the bed while a naked Bran and a naked Megan screamed nonsensical things at me like, “What are you doing?!” and “Please stop!” Then I said what I said—what a lame line, I don’t know what I was thinking—and I dropped the lit match. And poof.
I guess Bran and Megan never told anyone about what I did because no one ever came after me, or said anything to me about it. You know, Megan was the one who introduced me to Bran right after I moved in. We started hanging out and eventually became a couple. Yes, he was my first—and last boyfriend. Sad. He and Megan were a good influence on me.
Ha ha.
It’s a very long but nice drive to the coastal town of Sea Wind, Oregon. I’ve made the trip a few times over the past couple of years, but usually by plane. I don’t stay for very long, not wanting to risk running into the traitors. A couple of times, I’ve picked Talon up and flew him back with me, and we do all the theme park—which is why he thinks I’m the man. Also, he can curse like a pirate in front of me, and I won’t care. To be honest, it never occurred to me to scold him when he first starting swearing in front of me. If it makes him happy saying “shit” and “ass” here and there, who am I to judge? I was saying a lot worse when I was five. I was precocious.
It’s about noon when I roll into town. It’s a nice sunny day and the shops lining the street directly across the beach are littered with tourists. I have my window rolled down so the scents of the sea mixed with caramel popcorn and dead fish fill the car. No, it doesn’t invoke a sense of nostalgia in me, though I do consider Sea Wind my hometown—and not Boise, where I’m originally from. I like Sea Wind well enough. It’s a good-sized town, and while there’s not much to do during the off-season months, it’s still a picturesque little place. Bran and I (and sometimes Megan, when she wasn’t busy with her other friends) used to hang out at the beach a lot. It was always a calming experience for me to sit on the sand and watch the waves crash onto the shore.
I drive past Libby’s Diner, recognizable by the giant crab painted on the big front windows, and notice a man walking out the side door. He’s red-haired with ruddy skin, and I’d know him anywhere.
I quickly pull into the parking lot, cutting him off with my car. “Dr. Pawlak!” I call, sticking my head out the window.
Startled, he jumps back, his eyes bulging at me through his glasses. I can tell when he recognizes me because his pale eyes widen and his face loses color.
“Good lord!” he blurts out. “You’re back!”
“Not for keeps,” I say with a friendly smile. And I don’t do friendly for just anybody. “I’m just visiting. How have you been?”
“Good, good.” He fidgets, playing with the band of his silver watch. “And yourself?”
“Great,” I say brightly. “So, I’m going to be in town for a few weeks. We should get together some time. For lunch, or something.”
D
r. Pawlak starts to blink, continuously and so rapidly that I feel like I’m going to have a seizure watching him. Then he coughs—or chokes, maybe? “Oh, yes, well—that would be…awful. I really need to get back to the office. I have a patient coming in just after lunch.”
“Oh, sure. It was nice to see you.”
“You, too,” he mumbles, and practically makes a run for it.
Dr. Elijah Pawlak is the therapist Aunt Susan made me see when I came to Sea Wind. He’s actually pretty cool to talk to—though he does have a habit of watching porn on his laptop when he’s supposed to be listening to a patient. I snuck Bran into his office once to record him during one of our sessions. I have to clarify—I wasn’t really blackmailing him. I only did it to make sure he gave my aunt and uncle nothing but good reports on my progress. See, Dr. Pawlak thought my issues went deeper than the abrupt loss of my parents, and tried to delve into my early childhood years. I don’t like nosy people. I showed him the video, and we came to an accord. He let me control the direction of our talks, and I like to think we learned a lot of fun stuff about each other during those fifty eight minutes, three times a week. I only saw him for a year—and I gave him my copy of the video I took, so I feel like it should be water under the bridge by now. He shouldn’t be so frightened of me.
I make a right turn on Dawson Street, into the middle class neighborhood where my aunt and uncle live. I’m going to do a drive-by of the house. If I see Bran’s car parked out there, I’m going to turn around and go straight to Ellen’s. I can’t deal with those guys after such a long drive.
I turn on to Sunnyside Court, and the familiar blue Victorian comes into view. I see the family’s dark green minivan parked in the driveway, but no sign of Bran’s Civic, or Uncle Charlie’s work truck. I park at the curb but I don’t get out right away. I’m feeling very vulnerable right now. I need to prepare myself.
Shit, I’ve been spotted. The front door of the house is thrown open and my nine-year old cousin comes flying out of the house, shouting my name.
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