"Stamos, it's for the best," she said, imploring him to forgive her with her eyes.
"Joy, don't go," he pleaded.
"Too late for that, Mr. Walker." The deputy handcuffed Joy's hands behind her.
Ida smirked at Stamos. "I'm always right. This sham of a marriage stank to high heavens from the first."
Stamos' eyes clashed with Joy's. "A sham?"
Joy bit her bottom lips so hard that it started to bleed. "Yes a sham," she whispered, her throat feeling raw. "I'm sorry."
Joy walked out to the police car. She looked for one last glimpse of Stamos, but he didn't come out of the house. Her heart shattered. She knew she had just inflicted a hard blow to her husband.
Chapter Ten
Three long weeks, that's how long Joy had been in the SHU, the solitary housing unit. The four walls seemed to close in on her. It was worse coming back after experiencing the freedom of the ranch. Most of the time she shut down, emotions killed.
Her first week in prison ended in disaster. The long awaited attempt on her life finally came. By the time it finally happened, Joy was wound tight. Every move, every shadow caused her to jump.
While in line walking to the cafeteria, it happened. Sour Jane, the chosen assassin, almost earned her pay. She came charging up the line and lunged for Joy with a shank in her hand. Joy spotted it coming and bent her knees ready to attack.
Thank God, for Beefy Brenda, an old acquaintance whom Joy had defended once. She threw herself at Sour Jane, trying to blindside her. Beefy Brenda's massive weight knocked Sour Jane to the floor.
Joy ended up with a sliced arm, but it could have been fatal. She lay on the cold stone floor bleeding profusely, knowing that her father was not going to stop until she was dead. The guards hurried her to the infirmary and the doctor patched her up. Fifteen stitches without pain meds, she'd been through it before. She kept her mind blank the whole time. Thinking about Stamos and Dillon would have made it worse.
Every morning she remembered that she owed Stamos a good morning kiss and no matter how hard she tried to turn her heart to stone, she couldn't. Missing Stamos and Dillon was a constant, unbearable ache she carried in her heart. She had to push through. Missing them, needing them would be her death. The constant longing had to stop. Somehow, she'd have to forget them. This was her life, this prison cell, and she'd do best to remember that.
Every night she fought to stay strong. She lectured herself and willed herself to forget about the ranch. Four long, lonely weeks. That's how long it had been since she had seen a smile or heard a kind word. The new night guard had been giving her the eye and it petrified her. Around the SHU it was give in or else. The prisoners in her housing unit were considered expendable. She often heard screams in the middle of the night. Her turn would be soon enough. The fact that she was powerless destroyed her. She needed to buck up or she wouldn’t survive.
Stamos and George came each visiting day, but she refused visitors. It would be too unbearable to see the love of her life and then have to go back to her cell. Especially since she was putting that life behind her.
It had all been a big mistake, one huge mistake, calling Ida Perkins. Being in prison wouldn't keep her loved ones safe. She'd heard from the prison grapevine that there had been an abundance of accidents at the ranch. Her sacrifice had been for naught, once again.
Joy held Stamos' latest letter. He wrote everyday, but she never opened them. Emotionally she wasn't capable. She needed to stay strong and focused. Not only for her sake, but also for the sake of her unborn child.
Stamos deserved to know. He'd have to make plans to take their baby after it was born. A sob was buried deep in her chest, but she had to keep it in. It would be lights out soon and that guard Smalz would be on duty.
Stamos stared sightlessly out his office window. He couldn't seem to stop his brooding. It had been visiting day at the prison and once again, he was turned away. A knife slashed his heart every time he heard the refusal. He still went. Maybe he was just plain crazy.
Joy made her choice. He knew that he should accept it, but he just couldn't. No matter what he did, she was on his mind. Everywhere he looked, he pictured her. He was reminded by each horse she had worked with and most of all he was reminded by Dillon. Who knew that little Dillon would even know she was gone, but he did.
Bea said he was teething, but when he cried, he cried for his Ma Ma. It broke Stamos' heart.
The other problem was Bailey. She showed up everywhere he went. Stacey withdrew her petition for custody and left town. Good riddance. Now if he could get rid of Bailey.
Pouring himself some whiskey, Stamos shook his head. Joy had been attacked her first day back. He knew she was being housed in the SHU and he didn't like it one bit. He downed the whiskey and slammed the glass down on his desk. Good God, what was he going to do?
He gave George a ghost of a smile as the older man entered the room. "Hey, George."
"I've got news. Joy wants to see you," he said, sounding worried.
Stamos sighed. "Why?"
"I don't rightly know. I just got the call. You can see her tomorrow. I thought I'd drive out to tell you in person."
"I appreciate it, George."
"I know," George said, as he left.
Stamos rubbed his hand over his weary face. It was probably more bad news. He hoped she wouldn't insist on a divorce. He couldn't bear it. His heart had been torn out and stomped on.
She wasn't safe. Hell, no one was safe. The amount of accidents around the ranch was no coincidence. Someone had dug holes in the back pastures causing Arlo to fall and break his arm. The horse he'd been riding, Desi, had to be put down. The barn had been set on fire. Fortunately only one wall was burned. Every day it was something else. He needed to catch them in the act.
Stamos twirled the key ring around his finger. He couldn't sit still. He'd been waiting over an hour for the guards to call him. His stomach was tied in knots and his heart fluttered. What if she wanted a divorce? He could take anything, well almost. If she told him she didn't love him, he knew he'd crumble.
He wanted to pace but they told him to sit. He felt akin to a caged animal. He hated this place. Knowing how much Joy relished wide-open places, his heart grew heavy. She must be suffering in the SHU. Oh, God, he had to get her out. Somehow, he'd have to convince her to change her mind. Even then, he wasn't positive she could be released again.
They finally called him over, checked his ID, and patted him down. He had to leave his Stetson and personal effects with the guard, but Stamos didn't care. He just wanted a glimpse of his wife. He ached for the sight of her. He wanted to see her beautiful, expressive hazel eyes.
Why did she want to see him? Why now? He sat at the metal table with the chairs attached. It brought back bad memories of his undercover mission. Prison was hell, pure and simple. He watched as each woman walked into the visitor's room. The waiting tortured him.
She was a sight for his sore eyes. He'd missed her, heart and soul.
Joy gave him a tentative smile. "Hello, Stamos," she said quietly.
Stamos motioned for her to sit across from him. They were not to have contact. "I wish I could say you look good, but I can't lie. You look pale and tired."
Joy nodded. "I know. It's hard to sleep."
"Are you alright? The news that you were attacked scared me to death."
"I'm fine. It could have been worse," she said, studying his face.
Stamos knew that she was drinking in the sight of him, just as he was drinking in the sight of her. "Why did you refuse to see me?"
Joy looked as though she was about to cry. Biting her lip, she looked away. Finally, she looked at him. "Because saying goodbye to you would break me."
"Oh, Joy," Stamos said, sighing. "I understand, but you could have told me."
"I'm sorry."
"Are you being treated all right?"
"All in all, yes. If you could get a message to George about the night guard, I'd appreciate it. I
feel so stupid. My father is cruel and vindictive. I didn't know he'd go after you to get to me. I thought I was protecting you and Dillon," she said, her voice cracking.
"We need to get you out of here. Tell me about the guard, has he touched you?'
Joy shook her head. "No he hasn't, I just don't trust him. Just tell George that. As far as getting out of here, I doubt that will happen. Ida Perkins wants me to rot in this place for some reason."
"You're here because you said that our marriage is a sham," Stamos said, the hurt in his voice was evident to him.
"I'm so sorry. I love you," Joy professed.
Stamos' head snapped toward the door as the guard announced that visiting time was over. They'd barely had time to talk.
"I love you too."
They both stood staring at each other, the guard approaching. "I'm pregnant, Stamos. I need you to make plans to take the child after it's born."
Stamos stared at her as the guard ushered her out of the room. He needed to find a way to get her released immediately.
The ride home was miserable. Stamos drove on autopilot. Her news stunned him. A baby. He never -- oh hell who was he kidding, he should have known better. That's how Dillon was conceived. After that, he'd sworn he'd always practice safe sex.
As the news sank in, he was pleased. It wasn't the ideal time, but he wanted children with Joy. She'd looked scared. He'd have to find out who this night guard was and give him the devil. He still had contacts from his law enforcement days.
All of the men hustled out of the barn and waited for him to get out of the truck. Stamos sighed. It seemed to be one thing wrong after another.
"What's wrong?" Stamos asked Corny, who looked like he wanted to kill something.
"Some bastard shot five calves last night. The Kid and Arlo found the carcasses this morning. Shot through the head. Their mamas stayed nearby. It was the worst thing I'd seen in a long time. We herded the cows to a different pasture, one closer to the house."
"You did the right thing," Stamos assured the other man. "You all did."
"How's Joy?" Benji asked, his eyes brightening when he said her name.
"She'll be fine, she looks a bit tired."
"Did you tell her that I missed her?" Benji asked eagerly.
"Yep. She misses y'all too." Stamos looked at Corny. "Saddle up a few horses I want to see the damage."
"All ready have them ready. Knew you'd want to see them first thing."
Stamos nodded his thanks. Joy had been right. She'd gone back to prison for naught. Her damn family seemed determined to ruin his ranch. He had a bad feeling that this was just the beginning.
He'd go see the dead animals, and then he planned to find out who the night guard was. There was going to be hell to pay. He needed to call George and tell him about the guard and Joy's pregnancy. Joy's pregnancy, by God he just might have a way to get her out.
Joy sat on her bunk, her knees drawn up with her arms around them. Sleep eluded her. The regular night guard wasn't on duty, but Joy still dreaded the evening. Something was going to happen, it was in the air.
She tried to make her worries go away, but it became impossible. The starkness of the cage she lived in added to her fears. Joy wished she'd had one personal item to hold or a picture to look at. She didn't have anything to draw comfort from, only her memory of Stamos' face.
He loved her. The way he looked at her confirmed it. She'd been so afraid that he'd hate her for leaving. Her life was a tangled mess.
It'd been that way ever since Daisy's death, Daisy's murder. It was hard to think about, but she had to for the sake of her marriage and for the sake of her children, Dillon and the one she carried.
Despondently, she wondered is Dillon missed her. He was probably too young she concluded. The night was long, and lonely. Her thoughts didn't help pass the time, they were torturous.
Finally, the light came on, indicating that it was morning. She'd survived another night. Sighing in relief, she stepped to the cell bars, looking to see who the new guard was. To her horror, it was Smalz, the guard from hell. Joy gasped as she caught sight of him, but schooled her face to show no emotion as he leered at her.
"Morning slut," Smalz greeted as he looked her up and down. He started to walk away, but he turned back. "I have plans for you today."
Hell, she was in hell, with no way to escape. Joy knew what that look meant. He was pulled off night duty and he wasn't happy. She would pay. She'd have to watch her back. Fear for her baby consumed her. Taking a deep breath, she put on her prison persona, cold, hard, and uncaring.
Joy waited, and waited. It was a day of expecting Smalz to make his move, and make a move she was positive he would. She declined her shower, which killed her since she looked forward to the hot water cleansing her.
Being in the SHU, she ate all her meals in her cell. Besides shower time, which was twice a week, she had daily exercise time. One hour in an outdoor chain link cage, weather permitting. All she had to read was a Bible. She'd become familiar with it once again.
Joy'd been on edge all day. Lunch was served, a cheese sandwich and an apple. It was her scheduled time for exercise, but Smalz didn't show up to get her. Not knowing what to think, she grew anxious. Something was up.
It wasn't a surprise when her cell door opened and Smalz let himself in, closing the door behind him. Joy scrambled to the farthest corner of her bunk, panicking.
"Thought you could interfere in my life and not have any consequences? Think again you whore," Smalz said as his bloated face grew red. His huge belly strained the buttons of his uniform. She prayed his girth would make him unwieldy.
"I'm not worth it, Smalz. Don't ruin your career over me. I didn't have anything to do with your schedule change," Joy said, deceivingly calm.
The look in his eyes dried up all hope. He was going to extract his revenge and he was going to do it now. Joy got to her feet so she could try to dodge him. She jumped one way then another avoiding his beefy hands.
Her luck didn't hold. Smalz grabbed her hair and backhanded her face. She could feel her cheek slice open as his ring gouged her. He slapped her again, throwing her to the ground. In desperation, Joy wrapped her arms over her head as the crushing force of his baton hit her shoulders. She bit her tongue to keep from screaming. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction.
"On your knees, whore. You have to make this all up to me, today and every day," he shouted, unbuckling his belt.
Joy prayed as she heard his zipper unzip. This was it. She had feared this very thing for eight long years. His hands in her hair pulled her toward him. She had never experienced such pain. Looking at him, she almost vomited. The smell of him was worse.
He hit her on the back with his baton, demanding that she open her mouth. She refused. He raised his arm again and Joy thought he would kill her this time.
"Smalz, don't you touch her," a female guard warned, as she got on the radio and called for help.
Smalz threw her on the bed and zipped himself up. "You'd better keep your mouth shut," he warned. "Seems like you're good at it."
Joy watched Smalz leave her cell. No one came in to help her. No one asked if she was hurt. Somehow, it didn't surprise her.
Waking, Joy could feel the pain of her body. She'd often heard the phrase, feels like I've been hit by a truck, now she knew the true meaning. She immediately recognized that she wasn't in the prison infirmary, she was in the hospital. She reached down and held her abdomen. She figured there was only one reason she was there, she must have lost the baby.
No matter how much she tried to deny it, she couldn't. She had been born under a cursed star. Everything she touched became cursed too. Joy waited in vain for the tears to start. They never materialized. An overwhelming feeling of hollowness filled her being.
She was alone. It was as it should be, she reasoned. Everyone she touched came to harm. The dangers of prison frightened her. Smalz would be out for blood. She knew the score, they'd blame her for the whole inc
ident. She prayed that they didn't add more time to her sentence. It didn't matter, not anymore.
They hadn't handcuffed her to the bed. She must be injured worse than she fathomed. The prison officials didn't seem to think she'd escape.
Joy held her breath when the door opened. She released it as Stamos walked into the room. He looked so tired with bags under his eyes and he hadn't shaved. His black hair looked tousled as though he'd run his finger through it a million times. Her heart went out to him. The loss of the baby was his loss too.
Watching as he closed the gap between them, Joy tried to feel something. Perhaps she was in shock. That would explain her hollow feeling. "You're here."
Stamos sat on the side of the bed and took Joy's hand in his. He gave her a ghost of a smile. "I'm glad you're finally awake."
"You don't have to try to be cheerful on my account. I already know." Joy tried to keep her voice even.
"The warden was here already? I wanted to tell you."
Joy shook her head. "The warden? No he hasn't been here."
Stamos looked puzzled. "Then who told you?"
"I just know. I feel so bad for you. I know you had plans. It'll make divorcing me easier."
"Wait a minute. Let's back up. What do you already know?"
"The baby is gone. Why else would I be in the hospital?"
"Joy, you didn't lose the baby. The baby is fine," he said, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.
"Then why am I here? I should be in the prison infirmary. My injuries can't be that bad are they?"
"No you're bruised and there is a bandage on your cheek, but you'll be fine."
"I still don't understand."
Stamos smiled at her. "You are going home with me. The doctor said you could go home and your home is with me," he said, stroking her hand.
"I don't understand. How?"
"Well, I had a little chat with Ida Perkins. Your pregnancy negated your claim that our marriage is a sham. It seems that Ida knows your family pretty darn well. I was able to trace money exchanging hands. Your father paid her well."
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