He had been spending so much time talking about his ex that I was getting to the point where I was going to have to say something. Our dates were becoming tedious and my decision to put up with the fact was making me question myself. I had been alone for so long that I wondered if it was just that I was stuck in my ways and having someone else in my life was an intrusion. He was nice enough, but there was still no obvious spark there. He didn’t ignite my blood. Not like Joe had.
And not like Si had either.
And therein lay my real reason for sticking with Evan. I was trying to prove to myself that Si was just a temporary fling. That I didn’t feel anything real. I couldn’t allow myself to feel anything real. It wouldn’t be right, after all. Would it? It was easier to take the path of least resistance and try to make something work with someone else. Someone who didn’t remind me of what a shitty person I was every time I kissed him.
The TV announcer teased that there would be footage of Sonic Idols on the magazine show Ceòl Oidhche, or Music Tonight as I knew it, which was coming up next. I went to the kitchen and grabbed my bottle of wine and a big bag of crisps in readiness.
The band had played Birmingham the night before, and by all accounts, it had been another sell out show. A huge success, yet again. I was so proud of Si and wished I could pluck up the courage to ring and tell him so. But after hearing those words from Evan, I decided it would probably come over wrong. So, for now I would make do with watching him on the TV.
As the show started, my heart began to pound like one of Si’s drum solos as I waited to see the band. I took a long gulp of my wine and stared at the screen. The presenter finally gave me what I was waiting for.
“Ladies and gentlemen, as you all know, I’m a huge fan of Sonic Idols.� Cheers and whistles followed. “They’ve been here on the couch with me, and I have to say, Nick Dacre is one of the nicest guys I’ve had the pleasure to interview. So, imagine my delight when I caught news of their recent shows in the UK. London and Birmingham were both sell out shows.� More cheers. “And the band took part in a post-gig press conference that turned out to be very interesting indeed. Before we get into that, here’s a clip of them playing Birmingham. Enjoy.�
The screen cut to the band and I watched with a grin on my face as Nick stomped around, singling out girls in the audience to sing to. Stig bounced around like Tigger on energy drinks, and Chris was in a world of his own, eyes closed as he played like the guitar in his hands was a sexy woman. I squinted at the screen, annoyed that, up to that point, they hadn’t filmed Si. Then suddenly, there he was. Shirtless and wet through, beating the crap out of his kit with a sexy as hell look of concentration on his face. Every so often, he glanced to his left and smiled widely towards the wings. I wondered who he was smiling at. As the camera panned around, I caught a flash of purple hair and tattoos on a girl clapping along. She had an equally wide smile on her face. And a look of pure adoration.
My stomach lurched and my heart skipped. Who was she? And more to the point, why the hell did I care?
Once the clip had finished, the audience cheered yet again and the camera was focused, once more, on the show’s presenter.
“How about that, ladies and gentlemen? Good or what?� The audience whooped. “Now, I teased that the conference had been interesting. Here’s why…�
Another clip of the guys appeared on my screen. This time they were sitting behind a long desk, with towels around their shoulders, looking happy but exhausted, and with glasses of water before them. I heard a voice from the audience speak.
“So, Si, rumour has it there’s a new lady in your life. Are we to expect wedding bells in the not too distant future?�
I held my breath as the press conference fell silent. I hadn’t realised I was standing up until my feet carried me a step closer to the TV. The camera zoomed in on Si and he grinned, running his tongue along his full bottom lip. He leaned into the microphone.
“Yeah. You sure are.�
My already pounding heart plummeted towards the floor, taking my stomach with it, and a sob erupted from somewhere deep inside me. How the hell can he be getting married? It wasn’t so long ago I discovered he was in love with me. I didn’t understand any of it, and when the presenter appeared on TV again, my ears were buzzing and my eyes were fogged with tears. I watched with blurred vision as the presenter clapped along with his audience.
“You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen. We have a Sonic Idols wedding on the horizon.�
I reached for the remote control and waved it angrily at the TV, pressing violently at every button until it was finally silenced. Then I shakily placed down my wine glass, dropped the remote control on the sofa, and slumped down onto the cushions to cry. And to figure out why the hell the news had affected me so badly.
Chapter 30
Si
*
The country house hotel in the little Dumfrieshire village was such an idyllic setting, and I could totally understand why Den and Roger had chosen it. Den had booked the whole place as a private event, and further rooms at a place close by.
It was going to be a very small affair with only the couple’s closest friends and family in attendance. Den had made this sacrifice so that ‘his boys’ could be there without the worry of a fan frenzy. Roger was absolutely fine with this as he didn’t have much family to speak of. I was really looking forward to being there when the two guys exchanged their vows over the anvil, in true Gretna Green tradition. It would no doubt be the only wedding I was likely to attend for a while.
My double bedroom was small but sweet, with everything I could possibly need. I was going to enjoy spreading out across the whole bed for the nights I was there. Bobbie had chosen to get her own room, and I was quite relieved about that. We had agreed that sharing a room wouldn’t do the whole ‘taking things slow’ scenario any favours.
The night before the wedding, we all met in the bar for food and drinks. We got to officially meet the woman who had stolen Nick’s heart in Scotland. Wow, she was bloody stunning. Funny, feisty, and so sweet too. Ugh… I was surrounded by people in love and it was making the green-eyed monster in me rear its ugly head. I wanted them all to be happy, don’t get me wrong. But I wanted that too. I wanted a slice of the loved-up cake, but it appeared it had all gone.
A while later, after I’d had a few drinks, someone tapped me on the shoulder and I turned around to see Bobbie standing there. She grinned up at me. “Well, hello there, handsome. Do you come here often?�
I rolled my eyes. “To Scotland? No, thankfully. Bane of my bloody life, this place. It’s sucked away most of my band and my bloody heart.� Okay, that was the drink talking. Her brow creased in confusion and she opened and closed her mouth. I thought I should interject before she asked what the hell I was going on about. “Ugh, ignore me. Just love this place, that’s all I meant. It’s stolen my heart.� I made a circular motion around my temple and rolled my eyes. Little did she know that I was talking about Allie.
“Oh… yeah, it’s really beautiful. I’d love to live here someday. Anyway, what’s a girl got to do to get liquored up around here?�
I laughed at her theatrical Annie Get Your Gun accent and called the bartender over.
At the end of the night, I walked Bobbie to her room and stood there awkwardly, wondering if I should kiss her or not.
She stuck her key in the door. “Are you coming in? I have some mean sachets of coffee. I stole extra from the bar. I could make us a drink.�
I huffed, the alcohol in my brain confusing my thoughts. I could go in for coffee, but we’d end up in bed. I just know it. “Erm… to be honest, I think I should go get some sleep. Don’t want puffy eyes to start the w
edding day.�
She pursed her lips and nodded. “Okay.� She leaned closer and pulled me down so that her lips hovered close to mine. “Just so you know, there was going to be some of that R rated stuff on the table if you did come in.� She placed a kiss on my lips and I had to fight with myself to pull back.
I allowed my mouth to widen in a grin. “Fuck me, you’re hot as hell, you know that?�
She ran a finger down my chest and tilted her head to the left, looking at me from under flickering eyelashes. “That’s what I hoped you’d think. Now. get lost before I try to convince you to change your mind. And we both know you’d take no convincing.� Before I could answer, she had walked through her door and closed it behind her.
My resistance was waning, and I stood staring at the door, chewing on my lip, contemplating knocking. Instead, I called through the wood, “Wedding’s at twelve so I’ll pick you up at half eleven.� She didn’t reply so I walked away to make use of the shower and my imagination in my room.
���
I stood admiring my suit in the full-length mirror on the back of my room door. I scrubbed up okay, really. I had managed to tame my hair too, which was a bonus. I attached the flower thing to my lapel exactly as Den had instructed the night before when I had been too drunk to really get what he was saying. But it looked okay.
Once I was ready, I made my way along the corridor to collect my date for the wedding. My date. Who’d have thought that I, Si Delaney, lover of all things Allie, would have a date with a girl who I could see potential for a future with? I was no Chris. I wanted to meet someone and fall in love. I wanted to have someone to share tour stories with and to snuggle up to when I wasn’t travelling. Hell, I wanted someone to take on tour with me so I could snuggle up to them when I was travelling. I could squeeze someone petite like Bobbie in my bunk.
I shook my head and mentally patted myself on the back. You’re doing all right, Si. Take it steady and you and Bobbie could be it. She could be the one.
I knocked on Bobbie’s door. There was a hammering in my chest and my palms were clammy. I took these as very good signs. Signs that I was beginning to have feelings for my little drum tech and her cute arse.
The door opened and I gasped. Bobbie’s hair was completely different. She had combed it down so that the shaved area was covered and it was blonde. Completely blonde. She was wearing this slinky pale blue dress—the colour of a spring sky—that clung to her curves and showed just the right amount of tattooed cleavage to be classy but sexy. I allowed my gaze to trail down her body and noticed the grey peep toe stiletto shoes she was wearing and the matching clutch in her hand. I was no fashion guru, but damn, she looked fucking hot.
“Ahem… is that drool, Si Delaney?� Her voice snapped me back from whatever sexual fantasy I had disappeared into and I wiped my chin. There was no drool. “Ahhh, got you good, Mr D. But I’m guessing from the fact that you haven’t spoken yet, you either like very much or you think you’ve left the iron on.�
I cleared my throat and tugged at my tie, suddenly very much aware of the rising temperature in the hallway. “Oh… I like. Lots.�
She stepped towards me and nibbled on her lip seductively. “Wait, until you see what’s underneath.�
She swished past me, letting her door close. “Come along, Mr Delaney. We shouldn’t be late.�
I adjusted the front of my trousers and straightened myself up. After a deep, calming breath, I followed her, keeping my eyes on that delicious arse.
Chapter 31
Allie
*
I was still reeling from Evan’s visit the night before. I hadn’t expected him to turn up on my doorstep. And I certainly hadn’t expected him to ask me to move in with him.
“I really think we have a future, gorgeous. I have money. I have a beautiful new place in Kelso. I know we haven’t been intimate yet, but I think… I think that’s been my fault. I’ve been going on about Jen and the divorce so much that I must have appeared as though I wasn’t committed to you. But I am. When you know, you just know. And I think we could grow to love each other. Don’t you?�
I gawped at him, completely blindsided.
“Say something, Allie. Please? Look, you can mess about with your arty stuff until you decide what you want to do full time or you can come and work for me. That would be great. That way we could spend time getting to know each other better. It’s a win-win situation. I really think it would work. And I hate living alone. It’s so tedious. We could keep each other company. You could cook and look after the house if you didn’t want to work for me. And I would have you to come home to instead of a silent house.�
Suddenly, it dawned on me. He wanted a housemate, not a girlfriend. You shouldn’t move in with someone unless you already love them. And I didn’t love him. Over the time I’d got to know him, I had realised he was opinionated, self-centred, self-absorbed, and patronising. The way he spoke about me and my ‘arty stuff’ and the way he called Sonic Idols’ music ‘that God awful noise’ was so disrespectful. He left no room for my thoughts and didn’t care about my feelings. I didn’t need that in my life.
As if a lightbulb had flicked on in my mind, everything became clear. My reaction to Si when we spent that brief time in our affair. The way I had reacted when he had announced to the world he was getting married. The way I hadn’t stopped thinking about him since he’d been gone.
I was in love.
With Si Delaney.
But shit, I had to move fast. If there was still a possibility that he was in love with me, I had to tell him how I felt. I would call his mum and glean some information from her. Surely this wedding was going to be ages away. I must have time to make sure it wasn’t real. Surely it was a publicity stunt? That’s it! It must be! There was no other possible explanation.
“Are you going to pack your things, Allie? You can move in tonight.� Evan’s voice pulled me from my revelation and I shook my head.
I stared him right in the face and took a deep breath. “Evan. You don’t like my paintings. You hate the music I love. We don’t like the same movies. You still love your wife even though you won’t admit it. From what you’ve said, the split was all your fault and what you considered an affair was a blip. She didn’t sleep with another man. She got chatting to someone who fancied her. Not the other way around. And she only did that because she felt unwanted and neglected. Your pride got in the way and instead of admitting you were wrong, you let it get to the point of divorce. Call her. Tell her you bloody love her. Get her to come and live with you. That’s what you need. That’s what you want. Not me. I’m nothing like your ex. We have so little in common that I can’t see us having a future, Evan. I’m just a distraction. A companion. Someone to chat to after a busy day at work. Your dog is more of a companion than I could be. We have no spark. But from the stories you’ve told me - over and over - about you and Jen, all you have is spark. She’s your bloody soulmate, for goodness sake. I think you’re crazy if you don’t get your arse up to the Highlands and tell her so right now.�
His brow creased and he stared silently at me, his chest heaving as if he’d run a marathon. And then his eyes widened. “Bloody hell. You’re right, Allie. You’re absolutely right. I’ve been a blinding idiot.� He ran his hands through his hair and then tugged at the strands like a man at the end of his tether. “Shit. Do you think she’ll take me back?�
I sighed as my shoulders relaxed. I had been right all along. “You don’t know if you don’t try, do you?�
> He leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “Thank you so much, Allie. I think you’ve finally knocked some sense into this stupid head of mine.�
And with that, he was gone.
Left with only my thoughts I went to bed trying to conjure up a plan of how I could find out about Si without being direct. I had to protect myself.
���
The following morning, as soon as it seemed to be a reasonable time, I picked up the phone and made the call to Yorkshire.
We chatted for a while, Si’s mum and I. “Is Mr Delaney over the flu now?� I asked, skirting around the real reason for my call.
“Yes. Almost back to fine fettle, love. You wouldn’t even think he’d been so poorly. Although, he’s still having a grouch every so often. It was all drama if you ask me.�
“And how are you?� Once again, I avoided asking the question I needed an answer to.
“I’m okay. I’ve been trying to sort the garden out but the weather down here has been rotten. What’s it like there?�
“It’s been really warm, actually. I’ve been gardening too.�
“That’s good. More chance of it being nice for the wedding today then.�
My heart leapt. Shit. It’s today? How the hell has that happened so damn quickly?
I cleared my throat. “Have… have you heard from Si?�
“Oh, yes. He’s been very excited about the wedding. It’s a shame we can’t be there but with his Lordship and his ailments, we thought it best not to go spreading germs. It’s going to be a very quiet ceremony though, apparently. I thought you might have had an invite.�
Tears stung at my eyes as the realisation that I had ruined my chance of happiness finally began to sink in. “Oh, no. If it’s a small ceremony… and anyway, I’m not sure I could’ve made it. I have some art exhibitions going on, so, you know… busy. I… really wish them well though.� My voice wavered and I hoped she hadn’t noticed.
In His Place: Sonic Idols Book #2 Page 16