He nodded and dropped his eyes to his hands that I just noticed were shaking slightly. He was on the verge of losing it. It was hard to see him so shaken up over this. Cazzo was a beast of a man and he didn’t take shit from anyone, but he was literally two seconds from losing his mind if he didn’t start making more progress. I went to sit at my desk and picked up the phone.
“I’ll find you a different therapist and we’ll make sure this one kicks your ass into walking. Now, go make sure the teams are doing their fucking jobs.”
Cazzo cleared his throat and turned to the door. “Thanks, Cap.”
He wheeled out and I about fell apart right then and there. I hated seeing my guys dealing with this shit. First Sinner and now Cazzo. It wasn’t supposed to be this way anymore. We weren’t overseas. We were here at home on fucking protection and security services. We were supposed to have it all under control. By the end of the month, I would make sure no more fucking mistakes were made.
“Sebastian?”
My head snapped up and I glared at Maggie. “What?” I bit out. “I don’t need any shit from you right now.”
She walked in and shut the door behind her, then came closer to me. “I just heard yelling and then Sam left looking a little shaken. I just wanted to make sure everything is alright.”
“No, everything is not alright. I can’t take back what happened to Sinner and I can’t make Cazzo walk again, so no. Everything is not alright.”
She came over to my side of the desk and knelt down in front of me. I looked at her warily. “It’s not your fault,” she said softly. “Don’t do this to yourself again.” She shook her head as she looked into my eyes. “It’s not your fault. Shit happens. Look at what you’re doing for everyone right now. You’re making sure that everyone is trained to work together as best as possible. You care about your guys and I know that you would trade places with Sam or Sinner in a minute.”
I looked into her eyes and I wanted to believe every word she said, but wasn’t it my fault? Shouldn’t I have asked more questions when Victor Adams requested our services? Shouldn’t I have done more when Sinner was headed back to California? We all knew that there was a possibility someone was looking for him and I did nothing.
“Look, you don’t need to try and make me feel better. What I need is for you to do your job the way you’re supposed to so no one has to go chase you down. We need to do better so more people don’t get hurt.”
She nodded and stood. “Um, about that.” She swallowed hard and wouldn’t look at me anymore. “I think maybe working together isn’t such a good idea anymore. I mean, now that things have gone to shit, I think we both need some space.”
“Fuck, Maggie.” I ran a hand over my face and rested my elbows on my knees. “I don’t want you to go. I know I was angry last night and I said not to come back, but I don’t want you to go.”
“We want different things, Sebastian. I don’t really know what you want from me other than to be safe in some box where nothing can touch me. You’ve never talked about the future with me and I feel like I left everything for nothing. We were supposed to be making things work, but it’s all falling apart.”
I didn’t say anything as she backed up a step. “I miss my job. I miss following a story and having the freedom to go after something when I think there’s something there. If I stay here, I do research in an office all day.”
“When you came back, you said you would be fine with that,” I said in confusion.
“I also thought that there would be more. I thought that we had a future together. I thought there would be the possibility of marriage, but we haven’t even talked about that. I still feel like a guest in your house.”
That right there was our problem. I couldn’t allow her further into my life if she wouldn’t give me more, and she wouldn’t give me more unless I gave her more.
“I wanted to. I was going to ask you, but you always seemed to be running toward something better.”
“How could I be running toward something better? I love you so much.”
“Maybe not something better, but it always seemed like you were chasing something you were missing. I started to think that this wasn’t what you really wanted. Then when you started hanging out with Sinner more,” she rolled her eyes, so I hurried to continue. “I felt threatened. I know now that I was wrong, but it was just one more thing that stopped me from asking you. But I do want to make this work.”
She stepped between my legs and put one hand on my shoulder and cupped my jaw with the other. When I looked in her eyes, I saw tears.
“I’m interviewing for jobs in Pittsburgh next week.” She shook her head slightly. “I’m sorry, but I just don’t think this is going to work for us. I don’t know what else we can try.”
I sat back in my chair and her touch slipped away. My gaze drifted somewhere else and I just stared off in space realizing that this was really over. As angry as I was last night, I never really wanted her to leave. I couldn’t let it end like this though. We had so many good times and I didn’t want to think of us with negative memories. I grabbed her hand and held it in mine.
“Give me tonight. Let me take you to dinner and have one last night with you. I promise I won’t try to change your mind. I just need..”
She nodded and I was grateful I didn’t have to say more.
“I’ll pick you up at seven. You’re still at Becky’s, right?”
“Yes.”
“Wear the red dress,” I said, my voice a little gravelly. She walked away and smiled at me before leaving my office. I looked at the clock and got to work so I could get out of here as soon as possible. I wanted tonight to be a night neither of us ever forgot.
✯✯✯✯✯
After taking my shower and putting on the suit I knew she liked best, I grabbed my keys and headed for my truck. I couldn’t say that I was excited about tonight, but I wasn’t dreading it either. I knew there was no way I could convince her to stay. When Maggie made up her mind about something, she was as stubborn as a mule. I didn’t bother with flowers or candy. Shit like that was useless tonight. I just wanted to dance with her one last time and have her in my bed. I needed that.
I pulled up to Becky’s apartment building and took a deep breath before going inside. Security here was not what I would like for her, but she had insisted that she liked it and didn’t want to move. I knocked on the door and waited for an answer. When the door opened, Becky’s face fell and she looked to the ground.
“Is everything okay, Becky?”
“You’re here for Maggie, aren’t you?”
“Yeah, we’re going out tonight.”
“Did she tell you that she’s interviewing for jobs in Pittsburgh?”
I nodded. “That’s why we’re going out. One last time, you know?”
She blinked a few times and I swore I saw a few tears in her eyes. “She’s gone,” she whispered. “She left as soon as she got home.”
I stood there dumbfounded for a minute before my brain came back online. “Did she..” I had to clear my throat of the lump that was forming. “Did she say she was headed to Pittsburgh tonight? Is it possible, she was just..” I didn’t finish the sentence. I didn’t know where she could go if she was all packed but not headed out of town. She really left.
“I’m sorry, Sebastian. I didn’t know you were supposed to go out or I would have made her call you.”
I nodded and backed away from the door. “Thanks, Becky.”
I turned and headed back to my truck, feeling totally broken. She left without even saying goodbye. She didn’t want to see me one more time or have one more night with me. She just wanted to be gone. I thought back to the night before and I couldn’t remember if I had kissed her at all. When was the last time that we had kissed each other and wanted each other so badly that it hurt? When was the last time that there wasn’t all that baggage between us? When was the last time we were really happy?
I drove back to the office and sat at my d
esk for a while. I had nowhere else to go. All my friends had their own lives to deal with and didn’t need me bringing my shit down on their lives. I sat in that chair all night, thinking back to when I first met Maggie and how stubborn she was and how much of a pain in the ass she was, but I also thought of her smile and her touch. When the sun rose, I was still sitting in my chair, staring out the window and thinking of Maggie.
CHAPTER THREE
Maggie
A BANGING AT the door had me rolling over with a groan. The sun was just coming up and I didn’t have anywhere to be until Monday morning. I just wanted to lie in bed and sulk for a while. It had been hard to walk away from Sebastian last night. I had wanted to stay with him so badly for one more night, but then I would have second thoughts about leaving. We needed the space and I knew that if I stayed, we would end up hating each other.
I needed to try living here again and see if it was my job that was holding me back from committing to Sebastian or if it was something else. He was right when he said I always had one foot out the door. I hadn’t wanted to admit it, but I was always looking for something else. Until I figured out why, I couldn’t keep Sebastian hoping for more.
“Maggie! Open the damn door. I’m freezing my balls off out here!” Harry yelled from outside.
When I moved in with Sebastian I hadn’t given up my house. He didn’t know that I still owned it because I didn’t want him pressuring me to sell my house. Rightly so, since we ended up breaking up.
I flung the covers off me and grabbed my robe as I headed for the front door. Flinging it open, Harry and Aggie were standing on my stoop with mugs in their hands. I stepped aside and motioned for them to come in. Aggie had her hair up in rollers and Harry’s robe was peeking open just a little too much for any respectable man.
“Nice of you to let us know you came back, girlie.” Harry walked into the kitchen and examined the coffee pot. “How do you work this cotton pickin’ machine?”
“Go sit down, Harry. I’ll take care of it,” Aggie said, ushering him over to the kitchen table.
“Thank you for looking after my house while I’ve been gone.”
“Oh, it was no problem, dear. I hope you don’t mind, but Harry and I..explored your house a little. Just to take in the features.”
I groaned and laid my head down on the table, then jerked it up and pulled back as I realized they may have had old people sex on my table.
“Don’t worry, dear. I sanitized everything,” Aggie said with a wink. Like that made it all better.
“What are you doing back here, girlie? I thought you and that fella were living together now.”
“We broke up.”
He scratched his chin. “After all you went through to get him back? What’d the bastard do?” he asked menacingly.
“I’m not sure he did anything,” I sighed. “I thought it was him, but maybe it was really me.”
“Well, that’s about as clear as mud,” Harry grumbled.
“I thought it was him, that he wouldn’t commit to me, but then he told me that he always felt like I had one foot out the door. Maybe he was right. So I came here to try and figure things out.”
“A rooster doesn’t crow on two roofs, dear.” Aggie took a drink of her coffee and gave me a pointed look.
“Well, he wasn’t crowing at all lately. We’ve been fighting for so long, I can’t remember the last time we were really happy.”
“And you thought running away was the answer?” Harry laughed. “You youngins don’t know shit about relationships. They take work.”
My eyes widened incredulously at him. “You’re a serial womanizer!”
“Was. Now I have Aggie to keep me in line.”
“But you still live in your own house. You have your own space.”
“Dear, we just live separately because if we got married I’d lose my husband’s pension.”
I shook my head in disbelief. “You’re choosing to live apart because of money?”
“Girlie, at our age, money isn’t exactly falling off trees. Besides, she spends every night with me and I always leave her satisfied.” I grimaced at the image that floated through my head. “She’d never think of leaving me.”
“Well, I could try, but with my sciatica flaring up, I wouldn’t get very far. Besides, Harry knows exactly where to touch me to get rid of the pain,” she winked at him.
“Eww. I forgot how much I hated hearing you two flirt.”
“If that fella of yours ever ties you down, you’ll be us someday; humping like rabbits on your neighbors bed when she’s out of town because you just can’t help yourself.” He pulled Aggie over onto his lap and did something under the table that I didn’t want to think about. She squealed and batted at his chest.
“Oh, Harry. You’re such a devil.”
I looked back at my room and shivered in disgust. “I slept in that bed last night.” They didn’t hear me as they continued to flirt with each other.
“Dear, when the urge strikes at our age, you take it. Sex is like snow; you never know how many inches you’re gonna get or how long it’s going to last.”
“That’s..sweet, Harry. I didn’t know you had it in you.”
“Just telling it like it is, girlie. Speaking of the urge striking, I think we’d better leave, Aggie, or Maggie is going to see a bit more than she wants to. This robe doesn’t conceal much.”
Aggie stood as quickly as she could and set down her mug on the table. “We’ll see you later, dear. It’s good to have you back.”
Harry ushered her to the door and they quickly made their way over to Harry’s house. I closed the door behind them and looked around my house.
“I’m going to have to replace every piece of furniture.”
I walked back to my bedroom and was just covering myself with the comforter when I remembered what Aggie has said about them using my bed. I sprang up and threw the comforter off me, shuddering and making my way to the shower for a good scrub.
✯✯✯✯✯
After a long, hot shower, I got dressed and decided that I needed to get a new bed or I wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. When I got to the furniture store, I decided I also needed a new couch. Everything else could be heavily disinfected. I was just leaving the store, with delivery promised by the end of the day, when my phone rang. Normally, I would just answer, but seeing as how I ran out yesterday on Sebastian, I was hesitant to talk with anyone. Looking at the screen, I didn’t recognize the number, so I decided to answer.
“Hello?”
“Where the hell are you,” a masculine voice said to me over the phone. It sounded familiar, but I couldn’t place it.
“Who is this?”
“Derek. You’re not at any hotels in the area, so where the hell are you?”
“I’m at my house.”
“Your-” there was silence on the other end. “You kept the house?” Derek said incredulously. “Damn, Cap’s not going to be happy about that.”
“He doesn’t have to be happy about it. It wasn’t his house.”
“Yeah, but..you moved in with him. He assumed that you didn’t have it anymore. That’s why we were looking for you at a hotel.”
I got in my car and headed back for my house. “Why are you looking for me at all? Is this some crazy kidnap scheme where Sebastian is trying to get me back for running out on him last night? Are you going to drag me back to him kicking and screaming?”
“We’ll talk at your house.” He hung up before I could say any more. I threw my phone in the passenger seat and sighed in frustration. How many of them were coming and why? I had my gun on me, but that was basically useless when it came to these men. I would have a better chance of getting away if I cried in front of them. That was a sure fire way to get them all to back off.
I pulled into my driveway and was just at my door when two black SUV’s pulled into my driveway and three menacing faces stepped out, hurrying toward me. I glared at Hunter, Derek, and Lola as one of them grabbed my ke
ys and then pushed me inside.
“What the hell is going on?” I turned to Derek and pierced him with my best bitch face. His glare was just as menacing and had me shrinking back slightly.
“Did you forget that you just broke into Victor Adams office building and were almost killed? Or that someone took Sinner to get information from him? Did you think they wouldn’t kidnap you to get to Sebastian?”
“We broke up. I’m living here now.”
“You can still be used against him. No one would believe that after two years together, he wouldn’t give a shit if you were taken.”
“So, what? You’re here to drag me back to him?”
“Nope. We’re here to protect you. You can expect us on your six, twenty-four seven.” Hunter grinned.
My mouth dropped open and I looked to Lola, who had a smirk on her face.
“No, there is no way he would send three of you here to tail me. We aren’t together any more.” I said slowly for emphasis. “It would cost him a fortune.”
“Boys, why don’t you get the gear while I have a little chat with Freckles.” Disdain dripped from Lola’s voice as she dismissed the guys. Hunter let out a low whistle and walked toward the door.
“Just don’t teach her any lessons, Lola. Remember, Cap wants her alive,” Derek muttered as he walked toward the door.
“What is that supposed to mean, ‘teach me any lessons’?”
She raised an eyebrow at me and took off her jacket. Lola was the most badass woman I’d ever met and despite the scar that ran along her hairline, she was also the most beautiful. Her long, brown hair pulled into a ponytail made her high cheekbones stand out even more against her pale skin. She was the epitome of gorgeous and I was not. Her complexion was creamy and smooth, while mine was pale and full of freckles. She had brown hair that had perfect tints in it and I had strawberry blonde hair that never knew what it was going to do day to day. Her body was perfectly toned and sculpted, while I was skinny and slightly fit. I was lacking in every area that she excelled.
Cap_A Reed Security Romance Page 3