I fisted my hands and asked the question I dreaded. "Was he abusive?"
She looked surprised, then laughed. "Oh God, no. Dad was an emotional drunk. Got sloppy, fell down, cried over Mom. Begged my forgiveness. Maybe that's why it seemed even harder. He was always so sorry and swore to never do it again. I just kept believing him, until I stopped questioning his excuses. I kept the secret and helped him function. Classic codependence."
"What happened when you got older?"
She remained still, as if images played on a screen before her. "Things got worse. We had little money since he couldn't keep a job. Unemployment ran out. I worked on the side, but with school I was limited. Then he started having me apply for credit cards. We'd get these preapproved offers in the mail in my name, and I filled out every one. Do you know at eighteen years old I had almost fifteen thousand dollars in credit? And I was wiped out at nineteen because he'd used up everything but begged for more."
I reached out and snagged her hand. Squeezed. She seemed startled out of her reflections, and my heart split at the sight of her face. She was beyond beautiful. She was strong and brave. "You had nobody to help you?" I asked.
"No. But I reached rock bottom along with him. Broke and dead tired. Trying to keep everything together was killing me. I reached out to Al-Anon and for me, everything changed. I realized I couldn't protect him from himself, that I was actually helping him drink. I met people involved in the program--people like me, and I confronted him. Had an intervention and moved out."
"What happened?"
"He fell apart. Begged me to help. I refused. That was the hardest part, realizing he had to do it himself. Had to want to stop the cycle. Eventually, he went to rehab, and he's been sober now for almost a year."
"And you? How are you?"
A ghost of a smile touched her lips. "Better. Paying off my debt. I love my jobs because my work helps people, and it makes sense. I take it day by day a lot, just like my dad. He's making amends and seems happy. That's all I ever wanted. For us to be okay and happy."
Isn't that what I searched for day-to-day, too? To be at peace with my emotions that always seemed to torment, reminding me I was nothing in a world of everything? The pain clawed for daylight, but I struck it back down and locked it up. Quinn was beyond me. She owned character and had no one helping her. I had a pot full of money, opportunities everywhere, and I still failed.
The shame was bitter and almost choked me. I raised her palm to my lips and kissed her fingers. "You amaze me. The people at those centers are lucky to have you." I kept my gaze firmly averted so she couldn't find out the truth too soon, and lifted her legs to slide out. "I better check the route. Be right back."
I hid behind the sails, confirmed our direction, and wondered if I'd ever be worthy of someone like her--or anyone, for that matter.
HE MOVED like a dancer around the boat, his hands deft and capable on the riggings and manipulating the pathway so it seemed he was in control of the actual wind. Odd, I shared more with him than I ever had with another guy. It just seemed right, as if secrets on the water would drift away until I felt clean. But there was something in his eyes that made me feel he hid something. Like it was okay for me to share, but not him.
I sighed and took a sip of Coke. I could've killed myself for asking about other women. I mean, how lame was that? Like he was going to say, "No, there was no one else before you." I wanted to take it back so bad, but when he told me he hadn't taken out another woman, I actually believed him. I don't know why it was important, but it was. It should be about sex and nothing else, but my damn emotions always got a bit involved, and I needed to feel safe.
No wonder Mackenzie always yelled at me.
The catamaran slid into shore and James docked the boat in a tiny space that seemed to be created just for us. I looked around, but there was no one else on the mini island retreat. He took a while to get set up, and then he faced me with a big smile on his face. "Welcome to my own private island."
Huh? My mouth fell open. "You're kidding me."
"Yes." He tugged my ponytail again and laughed. "Sorry, I couldn't help it. Let's just say not many people come out here, and I grease a few palms of the main sightseeing crews to keep it that way. It's safe to do some swimming, and I brought a picnic. It's just us."
Excitement shimmered and danced on my nerve endings. He loomed over me, tall and gorgeous, those curls blowing in the wind, smelling of sea, and salt, and man. "Sounds good."
"Let's get set up." He grabbed my bag, a basket, some towels, and a bottle of champagne. We stepped out onto the tiny ridge and made our way to the main piece of the island. It was mostly rock, with a large strip of sand, so we settled ourselves right in the center. As he unpacked, I investigated the space. Surrounded by jagged rocks, the water rushed on the surf and left behind an array of broken shells. I walked around the edges, tracing the lines, and stared out at the vast expanse of water and sky before me.
"We're inside the barrier reef," he said from behind me. "Completely safe. Good for snorkeling too, if you're interested. I brought the equipment."
I adjusted my sunglasses to avoid the glare and looked up. "I'm not huge into water sports, but I may give it a try. This is beautiful. I feel like we're alone in the world."
"Yeah, problems get more manageable when you're around nature. It's a reminder there's something bigger than you, and somehow, everything works out."
His words startled me. He liked to play at being the drop out-spoiled-rich kid, but his words haunted me like poetry. Way more sophisticated than the usual twenty-something guy. There was a lot more underneath the surface I was dying to unearth. "I'm starving," I moaned.
"Good. 'Cause you'll need your energy."
The sexual spark zinged between us and stole my breath. His blue eyes darkened as if he knew exactly what I was feeling, but he only led me back to the blanket that was spread out. The food was simple, just like I enjoyed. Roast beef sandwiches, salad, strawberries, and champagne. He uncorked the bottle and the pleasant pop made me laugh, especially when the liquid bubbled and spilled on top of him. He filled up two plastic flutes and tapped his glass to mine.
"To the day."
I smiled. "To the day." I sipped and purred with enjoyment. I loved champagne, but only drank it on New Year's Eve. Always seemed too decadent. I slipped off my Keds and dug my toes in the sand.
"Were your friends okay with you coming to meet me today?" he asked, biting into his sandwich.
"Yeah, I spoke with them this morning. Mackenzie won't let us hang out together. Says we'll never meet anybody new. She's trying to get Cassie and me out of our comfort zones."
He frowned. "She looked so familiar. The one with the hat, right?"
I hesitated, but I was already too far gone and trusted him enough to keep our secret. "Yeah. Country music star."
He snapped his fingers. "That's it! Been driving me crazy. Damn, how'd you get to be friends with Mackenzie Forbes? She's been in the public eye since she was young."
"She goes to Chicago State. Cassie and I met her in English 101. I don't know, we just clicked. I'd trust her with my life, and she's looking for some normalcy away from the country circuit." I stared at him. "You won't tell anyone, right?"
James shook his head. "No, I promise to keep it quiet."
"Thanks. She doesn't need the paparazzi ruining her vacation. How about your friends? Have you known those guys long?"
"I'm probably the closest to Rich and Adam. We travel in the same circles. Our parents know each other; we went to the fancy schools and country clubs and tennis lessons together. Weird, you think the world is big, but when you're growing up, it's pretty damn small. I only met kids my parents approved of. I didn't know most of the other people. They're all casual acquaintances who like my money and stuff."
He stated the words like it was no big deal, but I knew it was. How must it feel to have everything given to you and still not be happy? Because that's how he struck me, as if h
e had to apologize for his lifestyle all the time. It was a different way to look at it. I'd longed for money many times, but never thought of the way it could take away your freedom. I always believed it gave more options and choices. Evidently, not for James. At least, not in the past.
"What about now? You're over twenty-one. You can make your own way now, right?"
"Sure. I do what I want, when I want. I have the perfect life."
Lie. He refused to look at me. My stomach clenched with the need to make him face me, but he definitely didn't want to have a heart-to-heart. Whatever. This was about sex, not confessions. In a few days, I'd be back on a plane to Chicago and he'd be only a memory. I needed to make sure it was a good one.
"Sorry," I muttered. "See? I get pushy. Issues."
His face softened and a smile tugged at his lips. God, when he smiled my insides melted like goo and an ache twitched between my thighs. "I like that about you. You look cool and collected on the surface, but there's this fire when you look deeper."
"So you're saying I'm hot?"
He laughed and so did I. "Hell, yeah," he said softly. "Hotter than Hades, baby."
I refused to blush and concentrated on cleaning up the remains of our lunch. We repacked the basket, and left out the champagne. "What's next?" I blurted out.
A wolfish grin transformed his mouth. Fascinated, I watched as he grabbed the neckline of my tank and tugged me toward him. His gaze focused on my mouth, and I had the urge to bite my lip, which was so fucking cliche I hated it, but it was a childhood habit I'd never gotten over.
"The only thing left to do," he drawled. "Strip."
THE LAUGHTER died in my throat. Her eyes widened and a shocked gasp dropped from her lips, but the sudden image of Quinn naked in front of me wiped out the joke. My voice felt rusty. "We're gonna swim, right?"
Recognition hit. She scrunched up her nose and gave me a halfhearted punch on my arm. "Very funny."
"Mind in the gutter much?" She blushed and I pressed a hard kiss against her soft lips. "Sorry, I couldn't help it. I like when you get embarrassed."
"I'm not! I don't!"
"'K." I ran a finger down her heated cheek, and she jerked her head with a muttered curse. She tipped the last drops of her champagne, set it aside, and began wiggling out of her tank top.
And that's when I realized the joke was on me.
Fuck. The black cotton tank eased over her head and got dropped to the sand. With a wicked glance from under her lashes, she flicked open the button on her khaki shorts, dragged down the zipper, and slid the material down her legs.
My dick wept for mercy. Every muscle tightened as I fought for control. The red bikini should have been illegal. The top was just two tiny squares covering her breasts, and the bottom had a sexy string on each hip that made me fantasize about slowly unlooping it to see what was hidden beneath. Her skin was pale and flawless, stretched like a gift across toned muscle and endless legs. The swing of her ponytail was pure sass as she grinned at me. "This good?"
"Witch," I muttered. "How am I supposed to concentrate?" I looked down at my demanding erection. "Thank God there's no audience. You officially got me back."
She stuck out her tongue and bounded toward the water.
Her full ass was barely covered as she dove in and surfaced, shaking off the water and gasping for breath. "It's so warm. Come on in."
My hands paused on my belt buckle. Shit. I had planned to change on the boat but got distracted. I longed to just get naked and skinny-dip, but I didn't want to shock her. I pulled out my bathing suit from beneath the towel and held it up. "I still have to change. Turn around."
Her delighted laugh echoed in the water. She swam closer. "Hmm, this is an interesting dilemma. Be good and give you privacy? Or be bad and get a preview?"
Her sense of humor challenged me. Who would've thought she was so snarky and fun? I decided to play a game of chicken. "You want a preview, huh? Well, hold on, baby girl. Here you go."
I pulled off my T-shirt and tossed it away. Her gaze roved over my naked chest and turned me on even more. I couldn't wait until her hands were all over me. I dropped my hands back to my belt, loosened the leather, and pulled the metal lever open. Grasped the zipper. And waited.
"I'm not wearing underwear."
She squealed and whipped around fast, presenting me with her lovely back. I laughed and dropped my shorts, taking my time to change into my bathing suit in order to torture her a bit. When I managed to squeeze myself into the suit with an uncomfortable erection, I hit the water with a splash and swam toward her.
She laughed and tried to kick me away, but I was a strong swimmer and always believed I was part fish. I dove under, grabbed her legs, and yanked her up so she was firmly secured in my arms. Her wet skin slid over mine, and her nipples poked against the thin red material from the water. And hopefully something else.
"Round one to me," I said.
"Were you teasing?" she asked suspiciously.
"You'll never know. Next time you'll have to take the risk."
She wrinkled her nose in annoyance, but allowed me to hold her. All my circuits were firing nonstop, my body attuned to each curve pressed against mine. Suddenly, she wrapped her arms around my shoulders and clung tight. I fought a groan, wondering if I'd drown in her sweetness. "James?"
"Yeah?"
"I know another game we can play."
My heart slammed against my chest and I tightened my hold. Oh yeah. "Sounds intriguing. What's the game?"
Her legs brushed against my thighs and her breath rushed over my lips. "It's called Catch Me if You Can."
I came way too close to untying that cute bow from her hip, hooking my finger under the bottoms, and diving deep. "Rules?"
Her voice was hot and dripped over me like an ice cream cone on a summer day. "There's only one. You have to count to one hundred before you chase me."
I almost passed out but managed to rally. "Done. What do I get when I find you?"
Her lips touched mine in a whisper soft kiss. "Anything you want."
Oh, she was killing me. "How do we start?"
"Close your eyes. Count to one hundred. Then try to catch me."
My eyes drifted close with the promise of pleasure ahead. She broke the embrace, and I heard her dive under the water.
That's when she yanked down my bathing suit.
It happened so fast, I couldn't get my bearings. In a flash, she was swimming away, and I fought the natural urge to go after her, but I remembered the rules of the game and kept my eyes shut, continuing to count. Her musical laughter drifted to my ears, and I realized I hadn't had so much fun with a woman in a long, long time. Who would've thought such mischief lurked beneath her serious facade?
I played fair and got to one hundred. When I opened my eyes a surge of adrenalin and lust mingled and exploded. I sank back into primitive time, knowing once I hunted her she'd be mine, on my terms.
She'd definitely left the water, there weren't even bubbles around, and I was stuck naked. Thoughts of sweet revenge kept me focused as I trudged out of the water and began exploring the small island for clues. I grabbed a towel and wrapped it around my waist, peeking behind rocks and looking for a path to follow.
The water droplets pooled together in a large wet patch led me back to the boat.
Sneaky girl. I made sure to remain silent as I reboarded and made my way in an organized search. My wet bathing suit had been dropped onto the bench. I checked the cabin and bathroom, opened doors, and finally heard a squeak.
I caught a flash of red and I dove for her. She tried to rush past me to get back off the boat and run to the island, but I leapt at the last moment and tackled her around the waist. She let out a terrified yelp and tried to fight me, but I kept my balance and tossed her over my shoulder in one smooth motion. My hand caught her flailing legs and kept her still.
"Let me go!" she yelled, squirming in a way that set me off.
"Not a chance. I caught you fair and sq
uare. It's payback time. Head down, sweetheart." I climbed down the stairs to the main cabin, making sure I ducked so she didn't hit herself on the ceiling ledge, and headed toward the bedroom.
The mattress was large and comfortable, even though the room was a bit on the small side. I lowered her down flat on her back, climbed on top of her, and straddled her. My towel fell off. I kept my hands off her so if she panicked, I could roll right off, but she responded immediately to my show of domination and stopped struggling. My gaze locked on hers.
Pupils were dilated. Her pulse pounded, evident at the base of her neck. She panted for breath, and her nipples were hard points beneath her bikini top, begging for me to pull down the fabric and take them in my mouth. Yeah, she was definitely into this. I just needed to be careful she didn't get spooked, and make sure she was ready for me.
"I caught you."
"I guess." She stared right back, unblinking. "What are you going to do with me?"
I grinned. Her body spread before me like a feast I was about to devour, but I needed to go slow, or it would be over way too soon. She deserved an orgasm she'd never forget. I craved to wipe out every guy she had before me and replace them with my face.
Slowly, I lowered myself, giving her the opportunity to wrench free or tell me to stop. She didn't. Her eyes darkened to an inky black. My hands slid up her naked belly and cupped her breasts. Quinn gave a low moan and arched her back. I tweaked the hard tips with my thumbs, enjoying her open response, and shifted my weight so I knelt over her, my mouth close to hers.
"Everything, Quinn. I'm going to do...everything."
I took her mouth in a fierce kiss, finally letting myself go and refusing to hold back. She was right there with me, opening her lips to my tongue as I drank her in and conquered the wet silk of her mouth. I kept up the tweaks to her nipples, refusing to go underneath her top, even though her body begged for more. My erection throbbed for relief, but I was afraid too much pressure against my dick would get me off. Shit, I felt like a teen with my first woman, so I locked my brain down with my control and swore to give her the most pleasure I could.
Beyond Me Page 6