It was forever as long as we were.
***
I woke up in a pool of wetness.
Wreck was half on top of me and half off, snoring into my pillow. I blinked in confusion at the clock on my desk. It was only four in the morning. We hadn’t slept that long at all.
He started to shift when I did. “Hallie? What’s wrong?”
His sleepy voice made me smile. It was half-confused, half-sweet. “I should go shower.”
“Shit.” He lifted his head and craned his neck to see the time. “Shit,” he said again, falling back on top of me. “Bath?”
“Together?” I couldn’t help myself. I kissed his temple and down to his jaw.
“Hmm,” he grunted, pushing off me and the bed. “I’ll do it.”
I looked down the moment he was gone to find that the towel we’d had sex on had protected my bed. I wiped myself and then bundled it. The moment I stood, the burning pressure in my pussy reminded me of how deeply he’d been inside of me and that absent of lust, it was just painful.
I spotted his naked backside leaning over the tub. I covertly stuffed the towel in the hamper and then closed the bathroom door to clean up the rest of the way.
He was examining my bubble bath options with a frown, sitting on the edge of the deep basin tub, when I came out. I walked barefoot to him. This was the moment of truth. He either looked at me with his walls intact, or he admitted they lay in ruin like mine.
“Didn’t I buy you bubble bath? Old-fashioned bubble bath.”
“Look at me.”
He did, raising his eyebrows curiously. I cradled his handsome face between my hands. His eyes softened and within their softness I found my answer. “That was one of the best nights of my life. Thank you for sharing it with me, Cage.’’
He turned into my hold, his eyes closing softly. “No, Hallie. Thank you. I can’t even remember that night right now. There’s only you.” His golden-brown lashes sheathed his eyes as they fawned open, shielding the intensity burning in his gaze. Then he quirked a brow and his lips rose in the corner. “Convinced?”
I giggled and released him. “Yes. I’ll get the bubble bath. I hide it from Illa. She’ll never believe I bought it. Something tells me she wouldn’t take well to teenage stalkers buying me bubble bath.”
He snorted behind me.
I gritted my teeth as I bent to retrieve the glaring pink bottle of bubble bath W left for me the day after my bathroom was renovated. It was the size of me and it smelled like sugar and citrus, making the bathwater like silk and the bubbles pale pink.
He poured a long stream into the water after I handed it off to him. He cleared his throat and pointed. “Ass in tub.” He held out his hand and helped me inside of the scorching liquid. The moment I sunk into the water, the ache in my middle was instantly soothed. I moaned in relief as he got into the tub behind me. He grabbed my elbows and pulled me back against his chest, encircling his arms around me under the water.
His chin rested on my shoulder. “Does it hurt?”
I rubbed my cheek against his scruff. “A little.”
“I’m sorry,” he murmured, his sincerity thick in his voice. “I think the gardener had a tiny dick.” There was a pleased smile in his voice too.
I rolled my eyes and nestled deeper in his arms. “Wreck. Don’t be yourself. Please? Channel some alter ego that’s sweet and tender.”
“But he’d be a lie.” He tightened his grip on me, holding me around my breasts and stomach. “I’m a crude asshole and you’re not getting any more secrets. I’ll never be that guy who says the right thing and opens doors. I’ll stalk your ass and love you forever, that’s me. Deal with it.”
“Well, as it is, I can open my own door and I think your stalking’s rather cute. In an invasive creepy seek help psychotic way, I guess.” Stalking no longer sounded right. In the aftermath of our crumbling walls it didn’t feel like that anymore. It felt like wanting something beyond reason. Yearning without boundaries. And I wasn’t sure my opinion mattered at this point. What Wreck felt and what Wreck did to make sense of his emotions were up to him.
He chuckled into my neck. “Cute? It’s a lot of things, Hals, but cute isn’t one of them.”
“You mean stealing panties and planting cameras isn’t romantic?” He shook his head against me, his lips skimming across my shoulder. “But wanting me that much is. Loving me that long is. I wonder what else is cute about you.”
“Nothing,” he grumbled, biting my shoulder softly. “Just because my walls are down doesn’t mean you get to come in and rearrange shit.”
I smiled with my eyes closed. “I like pink.”
He groaned, making me giggle. To presumably shut me up, his hands slid over my breasts. He palmed them and pinched both nipples between his fingers. In seconds I was wanting. I pushed myself into his touch, watching with heavy-lids as he twisted my nipples in the most perfect way, just enough pressure to illicit desire and just enough pain to make it stronger.
“Feel good?” he murmured knowingly. “I love making you feel good.” The quiet admission was barely a whisper, but I heard it in the places that mattered. “I’ll make you come one more time and then we talk?”
“What about making you feel good?” I gasped when his hands slipped between my thighs and found my pussy, forgetting my question, which, I knew, was his point. He parted me effortlessly in the soapy water and found my aching entrance. His fingers pushed inside a few inches, and I felt his eyes on my face, gauging my reaction. It hurt, but I knew it wouldn’t hurt as much as his cock. I nodded in encouragement. His thumb found my clit and rubbed just as he pushed his fingers in deeper. There was a slight burn, but it was masked almost entirely by the good coming from his thumb.
My hands gripped the edge of the tub, slipping on the white marble.
“You don’t worry about me. What we did tonight was better than anything I’ve ever felt. I don’t feel a lot of good, Hallie.” He fingered me faster, rubbing my clit harder, keeping me quiet and muddled so he could be honest. “I don’t even know what it would take to get me to a place where I openly acknowledge that emotion. But I felt good tonight. Being inside of you, watching your face as I stretched you, the trust you gave me not to hurt you, and making love to someone I truly wanted—that was the best night of my life. I need you, my little star, for purely selfish reasons. I need you because without you I’m not even human. I’m sorry I keep doing this wrong. I’m sorry I keep hurting you and pushing you away, when we both know that I love you and I only want to be here. Now you fucking come, and don’t ever stop.”
I exploded around his fingers a second later. My stomach muscles tightened, and my thighs quivered; my hand shot out to grip his arm, holding on to him as my core clenched and my clit pulsed. He didn’t stop. He pumped me harder, fingering me deeper, rubbing my clit in hard fast circles. My orgasm grew stronger, throwing stars behind my eyes and painting my world with so much color and life I knew I wasn’t in danger of loving him anymore.
It already happened. He was now my biggest weapon.
My weakness in the middle of my strength.
He pulled his hand out and grabbed my chin with it, turning my face to him. He crushed his lips down on mine and I took the opportunity to give him as much good as I could with my own lips.
***
“Let’s get this over with.” He toweled off his hair, sitting on my bed shirtless in only his jeans.
“Can we do it somewhere else? I don’t want to be here.” This didn’t feel like my home for some reason anymore. Wreck did.
He looked up, peeking between his towel. “Why not? Tell me,” he insisted when I turned away.
“It just doesn’t feel like I belong here anymore. It’s the weirdest feeling. Like all my ties are gone. The only place I feel like I belong is with you. And this isn’t your house.” I peered over my shoulder, shielding my eyes with the curtain of my damp hair. He was gazing at me with his lips open just enough for me to see a fla
sh of white teeth and the tip of his tongue. His hair was a mess of tiramisu and his cheeks were flushed from the heat of the bath. With his shirtless body and bare feet, he looked so comfortable and sexy.
“Hals.” He cleared his throat and looked away. “I’d like to do it here. That way you don’t have to stomp all the way home barefoot again.”
Secrets had a way of uprooting my fantasyland. I’d been in it since last night, dancing under the stars and running around in my new-found freedom. In seconds, I had fallen, waking up in my cage. “Why did you push me away that day after Paulette’s?” I thought it was because he’d been in Athens signing the lease I didn’t know about, but that wasn’t as bad as spying on me, which seemed to be something he’d done long enough to be used to.
He found his shirt. He located his socks—one in the sheets and the other on the floor—and put them on as well. His boots had been kicked off. When he grabbed for them, I walked over and stopped him.
“Cage, sit down. I may not like what you’re about to say, but I’m not going to kick you out. I want you here.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him to me. “Why did you push me away?”
His hands slid up my arms, shoulders, and settled to cup my face. “Because I thought if you hated me, it would make it easier on you. If you put your anger on me, you could actually take it out on someone. You can’t do anything to this truth that won’t hurt you.”
“Tell me.” Was it so bad that he’d rather risk never having this? “Wait.” I pulled away and paced, my feet sliding across the wooden floors. I peeked to find his concerned gaze just as torn. He didn’t want to tell me, but I thought a part of him did, or he wouldn’t have come here last night. Maybe he wanted a teammate. Someone to fight with, instead of only fighting for. “Tell me.”
“Last chance.”
I started doing jumping jacks. He stared at me, gaze both amused and annoyed. “Okay, I’m ready.”
“You sure you don’t want to run a few suicide drills?”
“Nope. Those jumping jacks hurt.” I cupped myself through my sweats.
“You’re deflecting. As much as I’d like to keep this a secret, I don’t think we can anymore. Not after last night.” He sank onto my bed and fell on his back. “Before I tell you, I want you to know that I didn’t know this secret until the day at Paulette’s.” He sounded uneasy and unsure. “I did not know.”
Whatever he found out that day had driven him into bourbon and pushed him away from me. “You didn’t know.”
“My father forwarded me an email from the realtor they hired to find a house in Athens for college. I didn’t know about that either. In that email, he said that if I didn’t show up there by 5 he’d send the contract to you. I didn’t understand what he was talking about, only that if it were a threat, he had a reason for it to be. I went to Athens and walked the house we’ll live in when we go to college. You’ll love it,” he added, giving the ceiling a soft pained smile. “It’s as expensive as Athens gets, which isn’t saying much, but it’s also real. I told the realtor that you weren’t going to make it, and he told me it didn’t matter. When I signed the contract, I realized why. It didn’t say Hallie Goodford and Cage Wreckmond on the lessee contract.” His head lolled to the side and his fearful eyes found mine. “It said Mr. and Mrs. Cage Wreckmond.”
For some reason, my heart pounded. Like it knew what he meant before my brain did. I didn’t get it. Didn’t want to. For him to do what he did, it wasn’t a simple college lease. My feet carried me over to the bed and I sat, sitting cross-legged beside his body and staring down at him in the dim light of dawn breaking into my room. “What does that mean?”
“It means that somewhere between turning eighteen and that contract was drafted, we got married. That’s why father sent me to sign that lease. So I’d know the fight was over.”
“But we’re not married.”
He simply stared, waiting for the horror of his secret to sink in. My body got cold at the same time it got hot. It was obvious how this happened. I could piece together the threats and find the conclusion. I just couldn’t find the part where I was a human being who had choices.
When his face fell, and he looked away, I wondered what my face looked like. The true understanding of being trapped in this life settled over me.
I wasn’t human.
I wasn’t even a woman.
I was my father’s pet. He had purchased the most lavish of leashes.
“We’re married?” Tears filled my eyes. I didn’t understand why it broke my heart. I should expect this from the Goodford name. It probably wasn’t even the last or even the worst thing my father had or would do to my name. What killed me was how much of my love was already stolen from me.
Rage burned its way across my heart, ripping at my good parts and leaving them charred.
The worst part was my silence. His silence. There was nothing we could do. What would be the point? I loved him, and now everything I did would be in compliance with that. Contingent on my emotions.
I swallowed this truth like so many others. “Okay. We’re married.” Even to my own ears, I could hear the disgust. “What’s next? Honeymooning on the French Riviera? Who’s going to pick the marital home? How many kids are we having? Should I just bend over and let them fuck me, or wait until I’m empty and have nothing left to lose?” I screamed.
He didn’t blink, gaze on the ceiling. He’d made peace with this.
Because he’d get me.
In seconds, I felt atrocious. His walls visibly started rebuilding, preparing themselves for my dismissal.
“Cage, I’m not upset with you. I’m not regretting anything that involves you and me. I’m just so pissed that I don’t get a say in my own damn life. I want a life!” I punched my bed. “What does this mean?”
He didn’t answer.
I had to calm down, remember what I’ve always known. My fight was a fight and I’d somehow forgotten that I’d lose in the end. Wreck made me want to win, to fly unhindered.
“Can you imagine what that marriage contract says? Do you have it?”
He shook his head just barely.
I could see on his face that this wasn’t a battle he was going to fight. He knew all along that I would, that’s why he pushed me away, so he wouldn’t have to face right now.
I took a deep breath and forced myself to smile. “I didn’t even get a ring.” My tears were instant.
His stoicism hardened. A muscle in his jaw twitched. I was glad we had sex last night as us, instead of waiting for today as this.
“I knew you went to Athens. I knew you’d signed a lease for the house. I called my father for support—I know, how stupid was I—and he asked if we’d gone down to sign yet. He told me to call my mother. Funny part was when I told him she was in Brazil, I could tell he didn’t know. It pissed him off.”
He looked at me, handsome impassive face so incredibly tensed for pain it broke my heart. “Why’d you call him for support?”
“I went to your place to leave W a gift from me for once. When I got to your room, I saw the live feed of my room playing on your laptop. It freaked me out. I wasn’t thinking clearly. Obviously. My father doesn’t care about me.”
“I watched the security tapes. You could have walked through the front door. You looked ridiculous.” He glared at me. “What was the gift?”
I pointed threateningly at him. “You better stop looking at me like that. I’m not the bad guy and I won’t be one. I’m upset, you knew that. Don’t you dare take your anger out on me. You’ve done it enough.”
He glared harder, his meanness so strong on his face he looked cold. It looked like he hated me. But I knew that wasn’t true. He loved me. Defense mechanisms turned his love and hate upside down.
I leaned forward and touched his cheek. He wanted to fight me, but when I kissed his angry lips, his entire body sagged in defeat. “Don’t let them do this to us. I’m yours, Cage. I don’t want that to be different.”
; He grumbled against my lips. But weakness and want didn’t care for his attitude. His soft warm lips melted against mine. I unfolded and laid on my side close to him, clinging to his chest as he held my face and kissed me.
“I’m not good at this.”
I assumed this meant too much. His emotions, mine, forgiveness, arguing, his anger, his love and fears. “I think you’re capable of anything. You’re good at everything you do. You can do this too.”
“See?” He sat up and wriggled free. “What is that?”
I looked sideways at him. “You mean support?”
“I don’t know how to hear that and… I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t have that.”
“I know,” I admitted sadly. “Neither did I. But I had Illa to teach me and now you have me. And you want it, Cage. You know you do. You want from me what you already feel. You’re just scared. Which is totally kind of hot.” I skimmed my toes up his jean clad leg.
He stared at me carefully. “Are you seriously horny right now?”
I shrugged, falling onto my back with a guilty smile. “You turn me on.”
He shoved my foot away, glaring over his shoulder. “You’re so ridiculous.” He scrubbed a hand through his hair and then cursed under his breath. “I guess I’m crashing here?”
I stretched my body out. My desire for him flipped off all my angry switches and licked at my lust, turning it back on. “Are you tired?”
“Hallie,” he warned, shooting a glower my way as his eyes took me in.
“I don’t know why that’s so cute.”
“It isn’t.”
It was. I made him tired. I crawled to the top of my bed and settled where I’d laid earlier, patting the space in front of me. “Get in bed. I’ll try and keep my hands to myself.”
He took his jeans off and slid in beside me, pulling me roughly against his chest. “I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself, but there’s no way we can have sex again so soon. You need to heal.”
Wrecked: A Novel (Charming Knights Book 1) Page 21