“Babe, you don’t have to ask. This is your house now. This is ours. Okay?” he said, putting his hand on my cheek. I leaned into his touch.
“Zaine I don’t want you to think I have to live here because I am pregnant,” I said softly. I still wasn’t sure what this baby would mean to our relationship, or where we would go from here.
“This has nothing to do with you having our child, Lan,” he reassured me. “I want you here with me all the time. When I’m not with you, I’m thinking about you. I taste you, feel you. I can even smell your amazing perfume. I wonder what you’re doing every minute. Now, did I mention the baby once?”
“I guess you didn’t,” I conceded with a smile.
He put his hand on my still-small belly and looked at me and smiled. “Okay then. What time were you planning on going into the boutique?”
Zaine cleaned up the rest of the mess I made, then lifted me off the counter and carried me up the stairs to the bedroom. I climbed back into bed and waited for him to get out of his clothes. Walking out of the bathroom, he came over and crawled in next to me, pulling me close to him.
I reached for his hand and held it to my body. I loved being next to him like this—it made everything so real. To feel him caress me and rub the pad of his thumb over the back of my hand with such solicitude was such an amazing feeling.
“Goodnight babe. I Iove you,” He said, as naturally as if I had been with him for a long time. I loved the way the words rolled off of his tongue so easily.
“I love you too,” I responded. I could sense his surprise; It wasn’t something I’d said often to him. I could tell it made him happy to hear it, and he moved even closer to me as we fell asleep.
The next day I managed to get Zaine to let me out of the house for a little bit. I assured him I’d take Max with me, and I promised him we would come back in an hour. I was seriously hoping that he wasn’t going to be so protective throughout the entire pregnancy—I was already feeling a little stifled.
The reality of my pregnancy was still kicking in for me, but now that I knew everything was … different. I made an appointment with a Obstetrician for the following week, and stopped and bought some vitamins on the way to meet Tayla. The vitamins were huge, so I asked the pharmacist for something a little easier to swallow. He suggested some chewables and sent me on my way.
I asked Max to drop me off at the store and told him I would call him when I was ready. I’m sure he was obeying Zaine’s orders when, instead, he said he would come back for me in an hour. Tayla wasn’t at the boutique when I got there, so I put my things down in the back, where we had created a small office. It wasn’t much, but it was enough space to do paperwork and make phone calls.
I sat at the desk and went through some forms and sales charts. A few minutes later, I heard the door chime go off and assumed it was Tayla. I came out of the office just as a delivery guy was entering with the most beautiful display of wildflowers.
He turned to look at me and asked, “Are you Miss Steele?”
“Yes that’s Me,” I said, delighted.
“I have a delivery for you. Where would you like me to put them?”
“I can take them. Thanks!” The man handed me the flowers and I set them down on the counter and signed for the delivery. When he left I looked for a card. I found it nestled into the arrangement, covered by tissue paper.
Can’t wait to see you later
That was it. No name, no “to” or “from.” Nothing. They were wild flowers, though, which made me think of Zaine’s house in London. He must have sent them. I sent him a quick text to thank him for the flowers and told him I couldn’t wait to see him either. Then I went back to work.
An hour went by and Tayla was still a no-show. I was annoyed that she hadn’t let me know she wasn’t coming; I would have just stayed in bed! Still, I’d gotten a lot of work done, so it wasn’t all a lost cause. Max was due to pick me up at any moment, so I figured I would catch up with her later. I grabbed my bag and laptop and started to walk to the front entrance. There, right in the store—my store—a salesgirl was talking to the last person I’d ever wanted to see again: my ex-boyfriend, Ryland Carter.
I froze. I couldn’t move or speak, but just stood there. My mind raced as I flashed backed to a time when I was not whole and had no self-confidence, all because of this man. He had told me that I was nothing and could never be anything, and it had caused me many sleepless nights. I’d been scared for so long that he would find me and destroy any life I had built for myself, and any happiness I might find. He was here! How had he found me?
It was only a moment before he saw me. He turned his attention away from the salesgirl, and I felt my stomach lurch. “Hi Landrey. What’s the matter, not happy to see me?” he said, with an evil snicker and a sly grin.
“What are you doing here? How did you find me?” I gasped.
“I have my ways to find the woman that broke my heart,” he responded, putting on his best attempt at sincerity.
“I did not break your heart Ryland,” my voice trembled. “You went to jail. You deserved to go to jail.” The salesgirl’s eyes widened and she moved away from Ryland toward the sales counter. Ryland paid no attention. He eyes were fixed on me.
“I went to jail because you put me there. Do you want to tell me why I sat in a jail cell for seven years and you never came to see me—your man—once?” His voice was getting louder with each syllable. He took a step closer, and I backed up. I didn’t trust him. He’d abused me for years, and I was afraid he would do it again.
“You’re not my man anymore, Ryland. We are over. You needed help, and by the looks of it you still do.”
“I’m a changed man, Landrey. I came here to prove it to you. I want you back. I’m better; I had plenty of time to think about my actions.” He had backed me into a corner and I had a precarious feeling in my stomach. Where’s Max? I screamed inwardly. Ryland reached up, and with an unsteady hand, brushed my cheek. I leaned back as far as I could to get away from him, closed my eyes and prayed someone would save me.
“Did you get the flowers I sent you?” he asked in a sinister voice. My God, I thought—the flowers! They were from him! My heart was pounding a mile a minute. I didn’t dare look for my phone, and I could see through the window that Max still wasn’t out front. I had to stall. I kept the conversation going.
“Those were from you?” I asked nervously.
His eyes darkened. “Who else would send you flowers? You been seeing someone behind my back while I was gone?” he said, his voice even more menacing than before. It was as if he thought I’d been cheating on him, as if he possessed me—or wanted to.
I had to be strong and get my point across without pissing him off. I’d seen that look in his eyes before and nothing good had ever come of it. “We are not a couple, Ryland.”
“You are, and will always be mine, Landrey. If I can’t have you, no one else will.”
At that, I knew I had to do something. I pushed him hard, hoping to buy myself time to get to the door. Ryland stumbled back and caught himself on the wall. I started running, but a calloused hand grabbed me by the hair.
“You always did know how to piss me off,” he snarled. He dragged me by my hair across the floor. “You’re not running now, are you bitch?”
“Let go!” I screamed.
“Why should I let you go?” He was pulling my hair while he forced me to look at his disgusting face. I spit at him, enraging him more. He was about to hit me when he suddenly went flying across the room, crashing into a jewelry display. I turned to see Zaine slamming Ryland’s head repeatedly into the floor. At almost the same moment, I heard sirens screaming in the street, and Max came running in with Aaron at his side. Aaron pulled Zaine off of Ryland just as policemen streamed into the boutique. It all happened so fast, I was unable to react.
I was crouched against the wall, totally quiet. There were no tears, no feeling. I was numb. My fear was consuming me. As the police took Ryland
into custody, Zaine came over to me and enveloped me in his arms.
“Are you all right?” he asked frantically, looking me over for damages. “The paramedics are on their way. You need to get checked out, Lan. I need to know you are okay.”
“I don’t want to go back to the hospital, Zaine,” I said in a dull whisper. “I’m fine.”
“I watched that piece of shit drag my pregnant girlfriend across the floor and almost hit her in the face!” he said, raising his voice. “You need to get checked out by a doctor!” I started to stand up, but I had a booming headache from my hair being pulled. My back was hurting from being dragged, too, so I decided that going to the hospital was a good Idea. I stayed seated on the floor while we were waiting for the paramedics. As I calmed down, I tried to piece together everything that had happened. I asked Zaine how he knew to come to the store.
“I got your text about the flowers,” he explained. “After the last time, I wasn’t going to take any chances. I left my meeting right away, grabbed Aaron for backup, and headed over here.”
An officer came over to where we were sitting. “You might want to call in another sales person,” he said. Pointing his thumb over his shoulder, he added, “This one’s pretty upset. You’re lucky she was thinking clearly enough to call the police.”
In all the chaos I’d forgotten about the salesgirl. That explained why the police were there so quickly. I made a mental note to give her some sort of thank you gift, both because she’d earned it and because I didn’t want her to quit after what she’d been through. Thank God there weren’t any customers here, I thought.
I took a look around at the crime scene. The salesgirl was clearly rattled, weeping as she talked to police over on one side of the store. There was shattered glass all over the floor from the jewelry case, and shelves and clothes racks had been overturned. Tayla was going to kill me for wrecking all her hard work!
The paramedics finally arrived and checked me out on-site. They gave me the okay to go to the hospital by myself, and I was grateful; I didn’t want to ride in the back of an ambulance. As we left the boutique, Max was waiting outside with the SUV door open. Zaine and I climbed in. Aaron stayed behind to clean up some of the mess.
We sat in silence at first, thinking about what had happened and stewing in our own thoughts. I knew Zaine was going to ask me who that guy was. I had never talked about Ryalnd to Zaine. I preferred to think that ‘out of sight’ meant ‘out of mind.’ and I tried to put him out of mind as much as I could. I’d never expected to see him again, and hadn’t even thought of him as a threat anymore.
Zaine broke into my reverie. “The police are going to need you to go down to the station to make a statement and pursue the charges,” he said tersely. He wouldn’t look at me, and I knew he was upset with me for not staying home as he had asked. “They are also going to question that guy about the text and the strawberries.”
“Do they think that he’s the one that tried to poison me?” I was surprised. Ryland was a violent ass, but poison seemed too subtle a way for him to go.
“They’re pretty sure from what happened at the store. That was enough evidence to prove that he had a vendetta against you, Lan,” he said. “What I don’t understand is how you know him?”
And there it was: The question I had known was coming. How could I explain that the man he was just beating was responsible for the fear that had crippled me for most of my life? How could I tell him that Ryland was why I didn’t move here with him all those years ago?
Zaine turned to face me, waiting for my answer. I considered my words carefully. The explanation took me back to a time I just wanted to forget, but Zaine needed to know the truth.
“I know Ryland Carter because he used to be my boyfriend,” I said slowly. “This was long before I even met you, Zaine. In a way, he’s the reason I didn’t come to meet you at the airport.”
“You went out with that guy?” he asked, dumbfounded.
“Yes,” I said. “After it was over, I never really told anyone about him. He physically and mentally abused me for a long time, but like I said it was a long time before I met you and … and I was ashamed because of it.”
“What does he have to do with you standing me up at the airport? Are you trying to say that you chose that loser over me?” He was clearly upset, trying to make sense of this new development. He didn’t quite know how to respond to it, so I decided to tell him the whole story. He needed to know why I’d backed out.
“I think you need to know everything, Zaine. I want you to know where I was coming from. You might find it hard to understand, but please try,” I said. I told him everything; how I met Ryland, when we moved in together, how he fell into drugs and became abusive. When I described the things that Ryland would do to me, I could see the emotions written all over Zaine’s face. Rage alternated with sorrow and compassion as I talked. I couldn’t believe how good it felt to finally tell my story. All the years I had been hiding it away, I never realized how much it weighed on me. Sharing it with someone I loved was such a relief.
“Even though I knew the relationship was fucked, I couldn’t leave him. It’s hard to explain,” I said, almost apologizing for the abuse I had suffered at Ryland’s hands. “When I finally did leave, I was a mess. I didn’t think I was worth anything, and I had given up on being happy. I was sure that anywhere I went, anything I did, he would follow me. So I’m sorry that I didn’t come to the airport with you, Zaine. I really did care for you a lot. I thought about you every day, all the time. It killed me not to be with you and I always wondered what I would be doing if I had come with you. I loved you even though you were not around. I never really loved anyone else. You were always who I thought about as I got up in the morning and went to bed at night.”
Zaine took my hand and held it tight. I could tell he was lost in what I had just said, but he didn’t say a word. He didn’t even look at me. Finally, with his head bowed, he started to speak, concern evident in his voice.
“I’m sorry that you went through all of that alone, Lan, but you didn’t have to,” he said. “I would have helped you. I would have kept you safe if you came with me. If I had known what had happened, I would have done something to make sure that you were happy.
“I would never let anyone harm you, Lan. We’re so good for each other, and we always have been. Keeping that piece of shit a secret from me even when we’re together now…” He broke off, a catch in his throat. After a minute he spoke again. “You didn’t have to. You could have told me so I would have known this whole time why you were so standoffish about things. I get it now, and I’m going to make sure that he pays for what he has done to you. There is no way that he will come around or harm you ever again. Do you understand that? He’s going to pay.”
I had tears in my eyes now, and felt one drip down my face. Zaine wiped it with his thumb and kissed me on the forehead.
“Look at me, Landrey. You are never going to be alone again. I will always be here for you. We’ll get through things, talk about things—together. Please don’t hide anything from me. I can’t be there for you if you keep hiding things from me.”
“I promise,” I said, sniffling a little. “I thought after so many years I was safe. I didn’t think he would come back for me.”
Zaine put his arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. “How are you feeling? Are you in pain anywhere?” He pulled me onto his lap, and I sunk into his arms, needing his touch.
“My head hurts and my back hurts from being dragged across the floor. But right now all I want is to go home, Zaine. All I want is to forget any of this happened,” I pleaded.
“I know, baby, but you need to get looked at. I want to make sure this little guy is okay.” Zaine placed his hand on my stomach.
I smiled for the first time in hours. “Who said it’s a boy? It could be a girl—a little princess.”
“Well, all I know is that he—or she—is us, ours, mine and yours. I love you so much, Lan.” I kissed his
lips and realized how real this was, how much he truly loved me, and I him.
When we arrived at the emergency room a detective was there to question me. He said he thought it was best to talk with me away from the station, and I was glad. Ryland was at the station, I assumed, and I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. I answered their questions, told them about all the events of the day, from the flower delivery to the attack.
“Miss Steele,” the detective said, “Ryland denies having anything to do with the strawberries, and he says he hasn’t had any other contact with you other than today. We don’t have enough evidence to charge him other than today’s assault.” Zaine and I exchanged looks of dismay. Then the detective went on. “On a good note, Mr. Carter was on probation and wasn’t supposed to leave New York State. This is his third violation, so he’ll be going back to prison for quite a while. Even so, you should get a new restraining order, just in case. You can come down to the station later to file the paperwork.”
After he left, Zaine and I waited in the lobby until a nurse called my name. I went into the examination room and waited on the cold table for the doctor. When he came in, he asked the nurse for an ultrasound machine and told me to lay down.
“Are you having any pain other than your head and back?” he asked as he examined me.
“No, that’s all that’s bothering me,” I answered.
The doctor shone a light in my eyes, did some reflex testing, and a little more poking and prodding, then said, “Well, the back pain is from this nasty rug burn I’m seeing, and your headache I assume is from your attacker grabbing your hair. I don’t think you have a concussion or anything serious, but let’s take a look at the baby just to be safe, since you did hit the floor.”
The nurse came in with the machine, and Zaine came over to my side and kissed me on the head. I was nervous. If the baby had gotten hurt in my struggle, I would never forgive myself.
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