by Tom Mohan
Jacob smiled. “I’m going to get Liza McCarthy, and then we’re going to blow this town wide open.”
Liza watched the dust plume that followed the ambulance as it sped up the gravel road, lights flashing but siren silent. The relief of finding Ruth still alive had begun to fade, and now Liza felt only exhaustion.
So much had happened since she’d arrived in Halden’s Mill. So many people had died or been injured. She wanted to crawl into a dark corner and disappear. Or go back home. The thought had been almost constant in her head since Johnny had rescued her from Jacob’s car.
Regardless of how she felt about these people, they were not her family. She was scared and tired and more confused than she’d ever been in her life. She’d thought that her abusive and dysfunctional upbringing had prepared her for anything, but nothing could have prepared her for what she’d experienced the past few days.
The door opened behind her, and Johnny stepped out onto the porch. “You saved her life by telling me to come back here,” he said.
Liza continued to stare down the road. “It’s funny. I had completely forgotten about her until that moment. How do you forget about a dying woman?”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately. This all must come as quite a shock.”
Liza looked over at him and smiled. “I guess you were a first-timer once, too.”
“Oh yeah. I didn’t get dumped in the deep end like you did, though. I was so grateful for what the Finns did for me that I would have accepted pretty much anything, but everything else was pretty normal otherwise. You came along at a time when no one knows what’s going on.”
“Someone knows,” Liza said. “Someone is causing all of this, and Jacob seems to know more than anyone else.”
“Yeah…Jacob. I tried calling for someone to pick him up and check on the chief, but I can’t get anyone to respond on the radio or by phone.”
As if in response to his comment, Liza’s own phone vibrated in her pocket. She pulled it out and looked at the caller ID on the screen. Pacific Colony. Why would the retirement home be calling me?
“I need to take this,” she said. She walked down the porch steps and a few paces into the yard. “Hello, this is Liza.”
“Liza McCarthy?” a woman’s voice asked.
“Yes, I’m Liza McCarthy.” Her mouth was suddenly dry.
“Liza, this is Michelle from Pacific Colony Retirement home. I’m calling because Manuel Lepe has you listed as his primary emergency contact.”
Oh no, please God, no. Don’t let anything be wrong with Manny. Please.
“Is Manny all right?” she managed to ask.
The line was quiet for a moment. “The police have been trying to contact you. You haven’t taken their calls. They asked us to try to reach you.”
No, not Manny. Not now.
“The police? Why? What happened? I’ve been out of town. My phone hasn’t rung all week.”
“I didn’t want to be the one to tell you.” The woman’s voice broke as if she were about to cry.
“Tell me what? What happened to Manny?”
Michelle sniffed. “I don’t know any easy way to say this. Someone broke into his apartment. Mr. Lepe was killed.”
Liza stumbled as the world tilted around her. Manny . . . dead? No, that couldn’t be.
“Liza, are you still there?”
“Yes, I’m still here.” Liza heard her voice as though it were coming from someone else.
“I’m so sorry.”
Liza took a deep breath. “Please, tell me what happened.”
“I was off that day and the day after. I only know what I heard. The police don’t want us talking. It wasn’t just Mr. Lepe, though. Another resident was killed the same night.”
“Another resident? Who?”
“I really shouldn’t say. One of the women. A friend of Mr. Lepe. I’m so sorry, Liza. I can’t say more. We just wanted to make sure you knew. You need to contact the police. I can give you the number of the detective that’s been trying to reach you.”
“Um…okay…wait, I don’t have anything to write with.” Her voice sounded dead in her own ears. “Can you email it to me? My email address is on file with you.”
“I’ll do that. I’m so sorry, Liza. We all loved Mr. Lepe.”
“So did I.” She ended the call and slid the phone back into her pocket.
“Is everything all right?” Johnny asked.
“No,” she whispered. “Nothing is all right.”
She turned to her left and shuffled toward a huge oak tree that grew at the bottom of the hill from the house. A small creek flowed behind the tree. Such a peaceful scene. She could feel Johnny’s gaze on her back, but he didn’t follow. That was good. She needed to be alone.
How can Manny be gone? He’s all I had. The only person who ever loved me. He can’t be gone.
As she neared the tree, the breeze whispered through the leaves. The stream tumbled over a small waterfall caused by a log that had long ago fallen across it. Manny would like it here. It’s so peaceful.
But Manny would never come here. Manny was gone, and he was never coming back. Liza blinked as the tears began to flow. She wrapped her arms around herself and fell to her knees beneath the canopy of the great tree. Harsh sobs wracked her body as she let the pain of Manny’s passing tear through her.
I should have been there. I should have been with him, not here. I don’t belong here, and now the one person I loved is gone and I’m all alone.
Liza wasn’t sure how long she knelt beneath the tree. Memories of times past and feelings of present loneliness wrapped around one another in her mind. Eventually, the sobs subsided, and the tears dried up. That’s all I have? That’s all I can give him?
She knelt in the tall grass as an empty husk that might at any moment blow away in the wind. Her mind sought something to grasp onto, something solid and stable, but all it could find was pain and loneliness. And anger. She could not deny the anger that had settled in her heart. Her entire life had been filled with emptiness and rejection, yet those who had caused her such pain still lived their fake little lives while everyone she cared about died and suffered around her.
Is that true? Do I care about these people I’ve known for such a short time?
She knew that question was important. That it alone would decide her future. A part of her didn’t want to care, didn’t want to get any deeper involved. With Manny gone, she didn’t have to go back to California. She could take off and go anywhere she wanted. She didn’t have to die in this remote place.
The powerful Old Ones were being slaughtered one by one. Conall was dead. Fallon was in the hospital. Ana and Cullen were comatose. All those who had so much power and understanding were dead or helpless. What good was she in all of this? She was no one. If she stayed, she would die as well.
Liza looked up at the great oak that shaded her. How old you must be. How much you must have seen. She stood and walked to the tree, put her hands on the rough bark, and closed her eyes. Above her, birds sang to one another, and the leaves danced in the breeze. The tree gave her no wisdom or understanding, but she felt its permanence. This great tree had stood through drought and flood, storm and wind, over hundreds of years, a silent sentinel watching over the world. She tried to pull some of that strength into herself, but her life felt small and insignificant compared to such loyal devotion.
Finally, she turned away from the tree and started back up the hill toward the house. Her car sat in the driveway where she’d left it. All she had to do was get in and drive away. She doubted that Johnny would try to stop her. Instead, she angled toward the house. Johnny was still on the porch, watching her.
“Are you okay?” he asked as she approached.
She walked past him and into the house. She didn’t know where she was going until she found herself standing at the foot of the bed in the master bedroom.
Ana and Cullen remained as they had been. Dark stains
of Ruth’s blood spoke of the violence that had unfolded here. She so wanted to talk to Ana, to hear the woman’s soft voice.
She thought of Fallon in the hospital. Fallon, whom everyone loved, who had treated her so well from the start. She thought of Cullen’s easy smile and laid-back ways. She thought of Marcas and the good times they’d had together in California. She thought of Brianna and the strange power she possessed. All of them, with all of their knowledge and power, were powerless against the forces that sought to destroy them. Only she was left, and she felt as lost as the couple lying before her.
Then she thought of Manny. Her true father, as far as she was concerned. The only one to ever really love her. Did what was going on in Halden’s Mill have anything to do with Manny’s murder? It seemed far-fetched, yet she knew it to be true. Manny had been killed because of her. Her anger flared. She was tired of being used in some game she didn’t understand.
She turned toward the window. The forest that hid Tír na nÓg blanketed the horizon. Something had happened when she was in there. Something important. Why couldn’t she remember?
If I stay here, I’m going to die.
If you stay, you may find life.
The words came to Liza as if someone else were in her mind. She found them strangely comforting.
Everyone else is gone. I don’t belong here.
You are my child. You belong here more than you know.
How can I stand against such power as Tír na nÓg?
You can’t. Not alone. But you are not alone, for I am with you.
Who are you?
I am all you need.
Who are you?
I am life.
Who are you?
The words faded, but a vision filled Liza’s mind, a vision of light and love and belonging. She found herself back in the forest, back at the clearing where her memory had been blank, and she remembered. She wiped new tears from her face as emotions she had never known flooded her heart. She moved to the edge of the bed and gave Cullen a light kiss on the forehead. Going around to the other side, she did the same to Ana before turning and leaving the room.
She would see this through. For Manny.
Johnny was waiting for her at the bottom of the stairs. He watched her descend but said nothing. She walked past him and out the front door where she stood on the porch and took a deep breath of the clean air. Johnny moved alongside her.
“Let’s go see the Old One,” Liza said. She was surprised at how steady—how decisive—her voice was.
“You’re sure?”
“I’ve been running my whole life. It’s time to stop running. It’s time to find out who I really am.”
The thing you saw in the woods really was a part of me. In a way, he was telling you the truth—the Finns did kill him. They just didn’t kill me.”
Liza sat in the passenger seat of the patrol car. Johnny had promised to tell his story, and, so far, it was as weird as everything else in Halden’s Mill. “So, let me get this straight,” she said. “You were a Satanist?”
“Close enough. I was involved in a cult that worshipped Satan.”
“And you came here because the power of Tír na nÓg drew you.”
Johnny nodded. “It’s hard to explain. It was like it knew my innermost thoughts and desires.” He was silent a moment. “I was a very bad person, Liza. Never doubt that for a moment. The evil inside me grew by the day.”
“So, that thing in the woods, that was…your evil side? Like a part of your personality? Does that mean you’re perfect now? There’s no evil in you?”
He laughed at that. “Oh, trust me, there is still evil in me. I’m still human and can still choose to do wrong things just like anyone else. Those who are drawn to the power of Tír na nÓg have more than the natural human ability to do evil.” He stared out the windshield, face serious. “We are ones who have invited demons along for the ride.”
At first, Liza thought he was joking. She hoped he was. After everything else, demons were part of it too?
Johnny glanced over at her. “Yes, demons are real. Tír na nÓg draws them, but in their spirit form, they can’t go there. They need a human host.”
“And the version of you I saw was that demon? Why does it stay there, and why does it look like you?”
“It is stuck in the time that the Finns tore it out of me. Don’t you see, Liza? Marcas and Conall saved me. They gave me back my life. That’s why I stayed in Halden’s Mill. Most don’t stay. They leave, the whole experience fades from their memory, and they go on with their lives. I wanted to give back to the community that had given me so much.”
“How old are you? The demon version of you looked like he was from the 50s or 60s.”
Johnny grinned. “I don’t age as slowly as the Old Ones, or even the Finns, but time has slowed for me, as long as I stay close to the Mill.”
Liza leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes. She didn’t know how many more surprises she could take. Her whole belief system had been turned upside down in a few days. She felt adrift in a universe she no longer understood.
“Is Tír na nÓg completely evil?” she asked. Her eyes remained closed as she waited for his answer.
“I get the feeling there is more to the land of the fae than we understand. The Old Ones and the Finns know more than they let on, but I’m not sure even they know the whole truth.”
“I still don’t understand this whole princess thing.”
“Neither do I. Legend has it that one day the fae Prince will claim his Princess. Their union will not bode well for the human race. That’s about all I know of it.”
Liza’s eyes snapped open. “Conall kept calling me the Princess. This can’t have anything to do with me.”
“I’m not going to pretend to understand all of this. I’ve been around a long time, but, until now, things have always been pretty normal. The Finns kept an eye on Tír na nÓg and took care of those who were drawn to it. I’ve heard some of the legends but never thought much of them.” He looked over at her. “I’m sorry. I wish I could tell you more, but I don’t have the answers.”
Liza nodded and gazed out the side window. She still couldn’t get over how green and alive everything was. Her concept of the world had always been based on what she knew—the sprawling metropolis that was Los Angeles. Here, there was so much less and yet so much more. It was almost intoxicating.
“Liza, I…”
Liza turned her attention back to Johnny. “What?”
“I need you to know…” He looked nervous.
“You need me to know what?”
Johnny stared out the windshield, his face a mix of fear and determination. “I don’t have all the answers. I wish I did, but I don’t. I just want you to know I would never intentionally hurt you.”
“What are you talking about, Johnny? You’re making me nervous.”
He took a deep breath. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it. We’re here.”
“You said we were coming to see another Old One.”
He nodded. “Mathair Nidawi.”
“Mathair? I thought the Old Ones were addressed as Dadai?”
“The men are. Nidawi is a woman.”
“Nidawi doesn’t sound Irish.”
“It’s not. She was here before the Irish came. She’s been here from the beginning.”
His obvious nervousness increased as he talked. Liza looked at the landscape outside the car. They were deeper in the country than she had yet been. Johnny turned onto a little-used driveway. Tall grass brushed against the bottom of the car. It was clear that this Mathair Nidawi received few, if any, visitors. The other Old Ones’ houses she had seen had been fairly well kept—this one looked like little more than a shack of unpainted boards with dirty windows covered by mismatched curtains. A narrow path led through the high grass, and a few chickens clucked in a wire cage on one side of the house.
“This is an Old One’s house?” Liza asked as they got out of the car.
�
�Things aren’t always what they seem,” said a voice from inside the house. The rusted screen door opened with a loud squeal, and a woman stepped out. To say that she was beautiful would be like saying the Mona Lisa was a nice painting. She had wide almond eyes and hair so black it almost looked blue in the late afternoon light. She was not tall—several inches shorter than Liza, in fact—but she held herself as regal as a queen. She wore a pale-yellow sundress and had bare feet. A cigarette glowed as she took a drag from it.
“Good evening, Mathair,” Johnny said. The woman ignored Johnny’s greeting and locked eyes with Liza. Unlike the other Old Ones, Liza could feel power flowing from the woman. It was familiar, in an alien sort of way, like the woods had been. She felt something stir within her, something like what had happened at Tobias’s house. She touched her blouse where the pendant hung beneath it and thought she felt a warmth there.
“Well, well,” Mathair Nidawi said. “So, you are the one all the fuss is about.” She took another drag from her cigarette and blew the smoke into the air before her. There was not a breath of air moving, and the smoke hovered between them like a haze.
Liza felt the woman’s gaze bore into her, as though seeing inside her. She wanted to look away, to break the connection between them, but the dark eyes held her. Invisible tendrils probed her consciousness. She became aware of vast swaths of time, an ancientness beyond imagining, whether from the woman or something else, she wasn’t sure. Then the feeling was gone, and Mathair Nidawi turned her gaze to Johnny.
“Why did you bring her here? You’re lucky I didn’t shoot you.”
Johnny blushed at her attention. “I apologize for the intrusion, Mathair, but Chief Murphy told me that if anything happened to him, I was to get Liza out here to you.”
“Then I would assume something has happened to Chief Murphy.”
Johnny nodded. “Yes, ma’am. I don’t know how bad. He told me not to wait around but to get Liza clear.”
“How bad is it in town? I feel the bonds of Tír na nÓg slipping.”
“It’s bad, ma’am. They’ve overrun Brianna Finn’s house.” He paused for a moment. “Jacob Yoder was leading that, stirring the folks against her.”